Recklessly (20 page)

When he glanced up from the screen, Kai’s curious gaze was fastened to him, his black brows raised.
Why are you staring?
Wes mouthed to him.

Kai mouthed back
Olive juice,
but he said it sensually, all tongue and pouty lips so that it looked like he was saying
I love you.
Their friendship had somehow never matured beyond how it had been when they were teens, and it honestly would’ve made Wes laugh under different circumstances, but his mind was too congested, his nerves too tattered. There was one repentant but dead girlfriend and an M.I.A. friend with benefits taking up enough brain space for him to feel like he was in the living room alone. Or with both of them. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad circumstance that Ribsy’s bachelor party was tonight; it would allow him to forget, because strip clubs were a great place to indulge when one was in a “fuck real life” kind of mood.

Erin stuff?
Kai asked.

Sort of.
He shrugged. “All right, boys! It’s sundown. Party bus is due here very soon. First up, barhopping on Sunset and then…” Wes fixed the assuring smile of a good party host.
“…Dazzles.
”

“The strippers are better than you, right?” Christian asked as Wes ripped off his white dress shirt when he moved toward the staircase.

“They wish,” he yelled back. At least he could be mopey alone upstairs for a few minutes, and then later he’d drink himself sedate. But if intoxication couldn’t cure this, he was in trouble because he certainly wouldn’t be able to just wish it away.
Do I open the letter? Do I want to know exactly what she said?
Wes thought as he pulled a black button-down from his closet.

“Elliott,” Kai said behind him, startling him just as he had jumped into his jeans, “Jesus, dude, what happened to your back? Reef? Are you fucking Wolverine?”

“Dammit, Kai, don’t you knock?” Wes shoved Erin’s letter into his pocket.

“Nothing I haven’t seen before,” Kai joked.

Wes clenched his fists and let his expression freeze in faux shock. “You
promised
we’d
never
talk about that night, Kai. You said it was
our
secret. Have you told our friends? Have you told Dylan? I mean it was the
best
night of my life, and no one has ever made me feel the way you did. Your tender touches awaken—”

“Goddammit. You always take it further than it needs to go, Wes…” Kai chided with a contorted expression of distaste. “So, what’s going on, man? You all right?” That was Kai asking about Erin again without really asking. Being a thrill seeker meant that Wes did
everything
zero to sixty—once he was in, he was in and never looking back—which meant that he tended to fall hard, in love, out of love, hard. Tumble, roll, shatter. And if anyone besides Abel had seen Wes self-destruct in that hulking, dominating shadow of Erin’s death and betrayal it was Kai. He had endured Wes’ unkindness the way best friends do when they know you’ll survive what seems insurmountable, even before you do.

“Sorry, no source material for any of your future crybaby songs, rock star…” Wes said with a smirk. “You won’t make a dime off me, asshole.” He stepped into his black Converse Chucks.

Kai laughed as he moved to sit atop Wes’ desk. “You looked at that phone about ten times while you were down there…” His eyes shrank in suspicion as he studied his best friend.

“Yeah, so…?”

“Expecting a call? Is this Mena?”

“
Lana
.”

“Oh, You knew exactly who I was talking about. You’re into her…” Kai said. “Is
she
what happened to your back? And
who
is this other ticket to Tahiti for?” Kai lifted the printed confirmation off the desk.
Shit.
He’d forgotten he’d left that there.

Wes walked over and snatched it away. “Your girlfriend.”

Kai laughed, though he paused before smiling. “Have you ever considered that one of these days you’re going to say something about you and my girl, and I’ll finally make good on my threats?”

“Nope.”

“You’re going to ask
Lana
to go to Tahiti with you?”

“Yeah…” Wes shrugged, deciding that it was unnecessary to draw out his denial. Under impulse, he had selected two tickets for departure from LAX, and he had done it with Lana in mind. Just discussing it with Kai belted his heart with emotions. He was thrilled, but incredibly nervous…
insides crushing
nervous to ask her if she would come. This was a huge deal. Erin was the last woman who had ever gone on a surfing trip with him. “And why not? She likes surfing…”

“She can like it from the States live streaming on the Internet like all the other people who like surfing…I’m not buying it.” Kai crossed his arms over his chest.

“What do you want from me? What cardinal sin have I committed against the Church of Kai?” Wes said with exasperation.

“Admit you like her more than this fuck-buddy thing…” Kai said, smiling. “I knew
one
day, it would catch up with you. It’s not a bad thing. I know it’s not what—”

“Okay. We’re not about to have a guy chat.” Wes shook his head. “Take my phone if you don’t believe me when I say there’s not anything more going on here. Hold onto it all night. Jesus, Dyl has got to stop making you watch so much
Lifetime.
”

Some people went to spas to relax, but Wes found
his center—
went all Zen—at strip clubs, and
Dazzles
was his and Abel’s favorite: four stages, tons of private rooms, the most beautiful and surgically enhanced women he had ever seen, and most importantly, they didn’t proposition or offer blowies to the patrons. And if Ribsy was really getting off the market, he was going with a pair of fake tits in his face.

Wes turned to his friends and rubbed his palms together in devious fashion once they were inside. “Okay, fellas, we’ve got the VIP lounge to ourselves all night. This wasn’t cheap, but I love you guys, so we’re making it count.”

“What’s the bar tab?” Leko asked.

“Two,” Wes said proudly, and Leko and Kai high-fived him but Ribsy went pale.

“Two G’s?? We have to drink two thousand dollars worth of liquor tonight?!” Ribsy asked, burying his face in his hand. “Jesus, Wes. Was this really necessary? I’m not going to prison or dying.”

“Dude, you do realize that you aren’t ever going to be able to do this again, right? Once you put that shackle on your finger, Odette’s body, while a fine ass body—”

“Don’t do it, Wes. Don’t,” Kai warned with an awkward laugh. “Just lead the way, buddy.” Kai turned him in the opposite direction abruptly and shoved him. “Just lead the way before Ribsy puts his fist through your pretty boy face.”

But once they were in the reserved room, with Kai and his goddamn phone on the other side of it, Wes and the word
comfortable
weren’t even in the same part of the world, even with the gorgeous redhead, Katja, gyrating in his lap, legs in a V in the air in front of his face. He only passed a superficial glance over her when she leaned backwards, put her palms on the floor and swung off his lap into a handstand. This was actual melancholy swamping him, and it wasn’t rooted in the Erin revelation. This was all Lana. Could you be haunted by
good
memories? Like playing around fully clothed in some stranger’s pool? Or actually preferring to read in bed when there was a rager downstairs? A warm buzz—pure delight—pressed through his veins. She was all he could think about tonight, no matter how many different sets of breasts were mashed against his face.

Wes looked over at Kai. What if Lana was back from wherever and she was calling him? What if she’d been calling him for hours? Goddammit, knowing her, she probably hadn’t called. A biting ache of anxiety ballooned in his chest, and he held up his hand when Katja tried to straddle him again.

“You’re boring tonight, Wesley…” Katja teased, fiddling with the tassels wagging from her nipples. “You always like when I do the flip to a handstand thing.” Wes was indeed a fan of it. Just not tonight.

“Nothing to do with you, baby. You look great; you
were
great. Wanna do a shot?” He needed it. Katja splashed Patrón into two of the shot glasses in front of him and they polished them off. It made him antsier but had probably saved his strip club cred. She sauntered off right after, thankfully. He dragged his gaze to Kai again, who was chatting with one of the exotic dancers.

Pride wouldn’t allow him to go over to Kai and get his cell back just yet because then it would mean everything Kai thought was true. And Wes wasn’t ready to admit anything to anyone, even though he knew within himself that things were changing. Wes’
feelings
for Lana were changing; they were
different.
Way different than when they first met. Different from even last week. And right now he needed to figure out what that meant for them. For
him.

He downed another shot.
Fuck it. I want to know.
“Sweetheart, you mind?” he asked when the dancer Kai had been talking to walked away and another was at his side at the same time as Wes. She smiled then strode over to the long, golden pole in the middle of the room, much to the happiness of the other guys.

“Wes, our friendship means the world to me, but not
this
much, dude,” Kai said, smirking from beneath his baseball cap. “Not
this
much.”

“My lap dancing skills would blow your mind. You’d love every single moment of it.” Wes plopped down next to him and took in a deep breath. “What if she says no?”

“What if who says no?”

“Lana…what if I ask her to come to Tahiti and she says no?” It felt like
real
fear now.

“Then, take Dylan,” Kai joked. “She looks
really
good in a swimsuit.”

“I’m serious, dude.”

“I guess you should’ve thought about that before you bought the ticket.”

“Nice to meet you, Pot, I’m Kettle. Didn’t you buy Dylan a ticket to that surf party two years ago before you asked her if she wanted to go…like right after you met her?”

Kai smirked. “No…I bought the ticket
while
I was asking her. Big difference.”

“If this were Benz, she’d quit her job if it meant going to Tahiti. But Lana could actually say no. She might have something better to do. Tahiti wouldn’t be something she’d go crazy for. She’s just…she lives in her own world. She’s not—”

“Wowed? Impressed? Mesmerized? Fascinated?”

“You said those a little too quickly, but I’ll let it slide. Yeah, and I’m used to them being
wowed
and all of that
,
truth be told. And she’s just not. Not even a little.” How many other girls would’ve called him out on his poor showing in Bali last year? Or made a point not to contact him?

While other guys had spent their teens fretting over how to pick up women, Wes was punted into a world where he didn’t even have to try. Being him
was
the pick-up line. And the flirting. And the courting. He never had to put in the effort. He got the ones he wanted and the ones who wanted him and the ones he only wanted because they wanted him. They were willing to do anything and everything, and he had never in his entire adult life so far worried about this. He certainly wasn’t naïve or inexperienced when it came to women, but asking something like this and being completely unsure of what the answer would be was an adjustment.

“And I like that about her, but it means I never really know what to expect. She really abides by her own rules. She’s so herself and it’s so fucking amazing. Does and says what she wants and really doesn’t give a—”

“So…she’s
you
? You were cocky enough to start sleeping with yourself? That’s twisted, bro.”

Wes clenched his jaw, trying not to laugh. “Can you be serious for one sec, Kai? You wanted this moment a few hours ago, didn’t you, Dr. Phil? Now I’m giving it to you.”

Kai’s eyes widened, and his jovial demeanor vanished for a beat, supplanted by shock. “It’s just hard for me to believe
you’re
actually worried about rejection.”

“From her, yeah.” Wes sighed. “Yeah.” Not hearing back from Lana had hurt, and yes, he was feeling emotionally vulnerable today, but he suspected even if today had been a regular day, he would’ve felt the same.

Kai pulled out Wes’ phone and handed it to him. “Here you go, lover boy.”

“We ought never to speak of this again.”

“It happens to the best of us, Elliott,” Kai said, rattling Wes’ shoulder before he stood up and walked away. Wes scrolled through his text messages and missed calls, becoming more dismayed as he viewed the log. Nothing from Lana but Grayson had called him twice, and his heart rate dashed, blood flow surged. Grayson liked to flirt with him, but he wouldn’t call unless it was about Lana. Wes clicked the number and walked toward the front of
Dazzles
as the call rang.

“Wes Elliott!” Grayson shouted.

“What’s up, man? Lana all right?”

“Yeah. She called me…”
But not me. Awesome,
he thought, disgruntled.
“…She’s at work…well, her shift is just about over. I’m hopping in the car now to go get her.”

A light sense of worry flickered in him, pushing his annoyance away. “Why do you need to go get her? Where’s her bike?”

Grayson chuckled. “Long story.”

“Grayson…”

“At some impound probably...she didn’t specify.”

Shit.
“What happened? Is she okay?”

Grayson chuckled. “She’s fine, but when I say
long story
, Wes Elliott, I mean
long story
!”

Jesus, that woman.
But he smiled. At least he knew where she was now. If her bike was locked up somewhere, she wouldn’t be in the best mood, and he suddenly had an idea. Something to cheer her up. He wanted to do it for her, and selfishly relish in what
he’d
needed all day: to see amusement and radiance in her eyes. “Um…hey, can you tell her you’re running late? Just make up some excuse. Let me pick her up. I want to surprise her.”