“
Let me finish,” he insisted in a rare show of confidence.
When my mouth snapped shut in shock he continued, his tone firm, demanding attention. “Maybe your nighttime hunts aren’t such a good idea in the way you are approaching them. Maybe…we should make the best use of them. I mean if we’re going to put ourselves in danger shouldn’t there be a reason for it?”
“
There is,” I declared and expected to continue but this time he cut me off.
“
Yes, to kill the Fallen Ones,” he said, taking the words right out of my mouth. “But shouldn’t we be centering on the most dangerous ones?”
“
You’re referring to Abaddon,” Eran speculated.
“
Yes.”
“
That’s fine in theory, Gershom, but in practice it’s nearly impossible. We have no way of finding him,” Eran explained.
“
The book of dossiers was burnt,” I pointed out.
“
Yes but…there must be another way to find him.”
I immediately sat up in bed.
“
Do you remember, Maggie, when you visited your past lives?”
“
Yes,” I said, reflecting back to just a few weeks ago when I relived parts of my lives while learning what to expect when Fallen Ones attack.
“
Well, have you ever tried to visit anyone else’s past lives?”
“
Noooo,” I replied slowly. It never occurred to me the scrolls would allow it.
“
Maybe it’s time you tried,” he ventured.
“
What exactly are you proposing, Gershom?” Eran asked.
He stepped forward again, gaining more assurance as our interest increased.
“
We need to find Abaddon…I think we all agree that he’s the instigator behind the attack and we know equally as well that it won’t be his last. It’s only a matter of time. Having been a part of his group for a period, I know him well enough to estimate that he’s amassing an army to accompany him. The only way to stop him is to find him first. And while we may not know his whereabouts here on earth…maybe clues, unintentional ones, have been left in his past…clues that may lead to where he is now. If…and I’m not sure if it’s possible but if Maggie can visit his past life-”
“
No!” Eran was on his feet, swelling with anger, filling the room with tension. “Absolutely not!”
Gershom, taken aback by Eran’s reaction, leaned away in nervousness.
“
Eran, please calm down,” I said, placing a hand on his arm.
“
I won’t allow it,” he stated, flat, adamant. “No…”
“
The choice, Eran, isn’t yours,” I reminded him softly.
His head swung down in shock. “You don’t know what you’re…you can’t agree to it…it would be…it’s too much…”
Despite his message being broken and delivered through stunned fury, I understood what he meant.
“
I can agree with it and I will survive it.”
“
Survive?” he posed. “In what way?”
“
You’re being dramatic,” I said calmly.
“
With every right to be.”
His emotions drained, he lifted his fists to plant them on his hips, shaking his head in disbelief. “I can’t agree to this, Magdalene. I won’t.”
“
I don’t think you’re hearing me…You don’t need to.”
“
Because you’re going to do it anyways,” he finished my thought aloud.
“
If it helps to find Abaddon, yes. I’ll do anything to make you…everyone I love…safe.”
He knelt down beside me, laying his hands on mine, which were folded loosely in my lap. Staring up at me, he was desperate. There was urgency, a stark anxiety in him that I couldn’t ignore and I felt my heart tear before I looked away.
“
Please,” he implored. “Don’t do this.”
I closed my eyes against the pain of denying him. If I only had a choice…
“
How can you ask me not to do it? I’m the only one who can.”
Understanding flickered behind his eyes.
“
Eran, it has to be me,” I repeated. “I’m the only one with the ability to reach the Hall of Records…and Abaddon’s scroll of past lives.”
He awakened to the realization of what Gershom and I had been trying to tell him. There was a reason why Gershom hadn’t gone to anyone else, asking them to crawl inside the body of a villain. No one else could.
Defeated, his head fell, absorbing the reality of our situation. None of us took it lightly, understanding that it wouldn’t be easy for me. But it was necessary. If it could give just one idea of where Abaddon was hiding it would be worth it.
Eran stood quietly and moved to the window, staring out but not truly seeing anything at all.
“
Where did Abaddon die last?” I asked Gershom quietly.
He glanced at Eran, hesitant and uncertain of what reaction might spur when he answered. It was silent as a morgue now. You could hear a pin drop…from outside.
Refusing to take his eyes off Eran, he said, “Abaddon mentioned once that he was the only one of his close group not to die in Paris, France. His mortal life ended in what is
now
considered Austria.”
“
What city?” I persisted.
“
Salzburg.”
I grinned at Gershom. “Half the battle’s over,” I said, trying to be encouraging. “Now I just need to find his scroll.”
Eran snorted from the window, his arms crossed, his body leaning away from us. He suddenly realized he’d heard enough, spinning abruptly and marching from the room.
Gershom, who’d stepped far from Eran as he left, stood uncomfortably in the corner.
After giving him a wavering smile, I said, “I’ll do it tonight.”
“
If you’re up to it…” It looked like he wanted to say more but clamped his mouth shut until he reached the door. There, he turned and quickly declared, “It was just an idea…”
“
A good one.”
I watched him leave, fighting the feeling that I’d just agreed to something that I would deeply regret.
CHAPTER TWELVE: A DEATH REVEALED
That night, I nervously awaited sleep, watching the sky outside my window darken far too quickly. I was thankful for my housemates, once again, who distracted me with a tray of food specially prepared by Felix.
“
Boar’s rump with brandied mushrooms,” he boasted, placing the tray in my lap. “They have great meat over here.”
He was nodding convincingly until Rufus rolled his eyes at him. “Sure do…till
you
prepare it.”
“
Rufus…” Ezra warned.
He frowned but reluctantly ended his teasing.
I’d already taken a bite by then, chewing cautiously, allowing my palate time to discern the flavors.
“
You know…” I said, pointing my fork at the lump of meat. “It’s pretty good.”
“
Cause you haven’t eaten in seven days,” said Rufus.
Felix sucked in a breath, offended.
“
Rufus!” Ezra chastised in Felix’s defense.
“
Well…she hasn’t…” Rufus shrugged, unable to understand what all the fuss was about.
Ezra sighed, aggravated, and initiated a subject change. “Which one are you working on first?” she asked, pointing to the stack of untouched books on the table next to my bed.
“
None,” I replied, unashamed.
Rufus snickered and received another fierce look from Ezra and an elbow to the ribs from Felix. Despite their disapproval and his annoyance with them, the two of us shared a grin.
“
You’re already behind. I can guarantee it,” she warned. “You’ll be back in school before you know it.”
The mere hint of New Orleans made the room quiet, everyone succumbing to their own desires to be back there again. Only my metal fork clanging meekly against the plate filled the void.
“
Any ideas
when
that’ll be?” Rufus finally asked the question on everyone else’s mind.
All eyes were on me then.
The truth was we were close.
I considered telling them about my plans for the night and the hope of finding a clue to Abaddon’s location but I quickly decided against it. I’d seen how unnerved Eran and Gershom had become when I agreed to it. Why put them through the same distress?
“
Time will tell,” I replied simply.
Although they weren’t entirely receptive to my vague answer, it did placate them. Ezra patted my knee supportively. “I’m sure it will.”
“
I…I’m sorry you’re here. All of you.” I dipped my head, shaking it against the reality of our situation.
“
We’re here because we want to be,” Felix declared, partly insulted and partly trying to pacify me.
“
N’ that’s the truth,” Rufus stated firmly. “Don’t miss that humidity one bit.”
“
Or the mosquitoes…” added Felix.
“
Or the principals,” said Ezra with a smirk.
I gave them a weak smile, appreciating their effort, and then the door opened.
Eran entered. His glower from earlier gone, to my relief.
“
I think that’s our cue,” said Ezra, heading for the door.
Felix held out his hand to me and I placed my plate in his palm. He nodded, approving that it was now empty and followed Ezra out the door.
Rufus hung behind a bit, shuffling restlessly from foot to foot. Once Ezra and Felix were out the door, he approached me sheepishly.
In a tone low enough it was clearly meant for only my ears, he said, “Don’t go worryin’ ‘bout us. You’ve got enough on yer mind.”
Then he left the room, sending a firm glance in Eran’s direction. “You know I don’t need to say it,” he mentioned on his way by Eran.
“
Because you know I’ll already do it.”
Rufus nodded back, appeased.
When we were alone, I asked, “Don’t need to say what?”
He shrugged and came to sit beside me.
“
Don’t need to say what, Eran?”
“
He…He was telling me to take care of you.”
Rufus…my giant friend with a gentle heart…
Nonetheless I sighed in irritation. “They’re worried about me…”
“
We all are,” he admitted, scooting himself to lean against the bed’s headboard.
“
Well, I wished you’d
all
stop.”
“
Yeah…that’s not going to happen so you might as well get used to it.”
When I didn’t respond, Eran took my hand from my lap and held it. His fingers were strong, slipping through and intertwining with mine. They were a comfort even through my annoyance.
“
And I wish you’d reconsider your plan tonight.”
“
Eran, you know I can’t do that.” I drew in a deep breath not wanting to reopen the discussion. “There’s no happy end to this conversation.”
He nodded slowly, agreeing while deep in thought.
“
What you will see…What you will feel…It will be…” he paused, cautious, deliberate, while keeping his eyes down and focused on our linked hands.
“
Horrifying,” I finished his sentence and his hand flinched around mine. “I know. I’m prepared.”
“
Not for this. No one is ever prepared for it.”
I got the distinct feeling that we weren’t talking about some vague possibility any more. We were discussing something more concrete, something that had actually happened.
“
Do you want to tell me about it?” I asked, keeping my eyes on him, watching for any sign that would tell me what he was thinking.
He didn’t respond immediately, taking the time to think it through. Finally, after what seemed like several minutes, he answered. “No, no…It…The scroll, I mean, might…skip over the…event.”
So now several things were clear to me. Eran knew of something horrendous in Abaddon’s past that I was not privy to and whatever it was had left Eran branded enough that it hadn’t been forgotten.
“
When…” I paused wondering whether I should venture further down this road and then realized I needed to ask, whether Eran answered it or not. “When have you and Abaddon been together without me being there?”
“
Once…Magdalene. Only once.”
That was enough confirmation for me. What Eran was remembering unnerved him enough that I knew I shouldn’t push him. Instead, I tilted my head to lean my cheek against his arm. But he lifted it, coming over my shoulders, and pulling me in and cradling me against his side. I draped my arm over his solid abdomen and his other hand came up to run his fingers along my forearm.
We remained like that for an undefined amount of time and then he spoke again.
“
I’ll be here when you wake. Right here, Magdalene.”
“
I would hope so. Otherwise I’d have to tell Rufus you didn’t hold up your side of the agreement,” I jested.
Eran sighed wistfully, having no interest in my joking. “He does love you…They all do.”
“
And I love them. None of this would be worthwhile otherwise.”
“
Yes…of course.” He was silent for a moment and then he turned to stare down at me. “You are more important than anything in my short existence, Magdalene. More important than life itself. I work so hard at keeping you safe and when I fail…”