Reconcilable Differences: A 'Having It All' Novel (29 page)

D'arcy was quiet for a too long moment, her eyes glazed
in thought, then lifted her chin and said in a quavering but determined voice.
“That’s how this all got started. We can never have a family if there is no
security or stability. That’s what worried me. I was seeing success, but not
responsibility.”

Kate’s sat forward, holding her breath in anticipation,
one hand pressed over her mouth, allowing her clients to practice their newly
honed communication skills.

Eli bristled. “Do we have to rehash that subject again?
I’ve been working for years, D'arcy, with no reward. Can’t you just give me a
chance to enjoy my success? There’s plenty of time.”

In obvious frustration, Eli bared his teeth in anguish.
He clenched his fists and pressed them to his knees, his chest rising and
falling. In a softer voice, he pleaded. “I’m being recognized and appreciated
for the first time in my
life
.
Let me enjoy it. Give me time to get used to it.”

Kate braced herself. This felt wrong. Eli gave no hint
that he knew about the pregnancy.

D'arcy looked desperately at him, “I always recognized
your talent. I appreciated you. Wasn’t that good enough?” she trembled, her
control faltering, and Kate expected the worst.

“No.” Eli says quietly. “No it isn’t enough. Can’t you
see that it’s different?"

D'arcy was quiet. “I know. I understand. But it can't go
on like this. We can’t afford to be selfish anymore. I need you now.”

“I just want this time. Can’t you give me that?”

D’arcy’s eyes filled with tears. She wailed, “No. I want
to but I can’t. I’m scared… ” She shot to her feet suddenly, an uncontrollable
sob escaping her lips, and rushed from the room. A moment later, they heard the
sound of the bathroom door slamming, the only room in the place where she could
sequester herself.

Eli tried to follow her wildly, and after a few halting
steps, wheeled expectantly to face Kate, his dark, passionate eyes pleading
with her to intervene. His anguished face seemed to express:
After all I’ve been through, how can this
be happening?
Kate reflected that life often seemed unfair, and had
a cruel sense of humour, especially with regard to the timing of important
events. But she knew if they could get past this one last hurdle, Eli and
D'arcy would be alright.

Eli threw up his hands, his voice rising indignantly.
“What is it? Please somebody tell me! What is wrong with her, Kate? Why won’t
she talk to me?”

A tight knot twisted in Kate’s belly, and a sense of
foreboding crept over her. “Stay calm, everyone.” Kate stood and gave Eli’s
arms a squeeze, her eyes meeting his still flashing ones with what she hoped
was reassurance, and went after D'arcy. She knocked softly on the bathroom
door.

“D'arcy? It’s Kate, open up.” The sobbing inside subsided
gradually. Kate waited. After a moment, the door slowly opened a crack.

Kate pushed her way in, glancing around. D'arcy sat on
the toilet seat, her shoulders hunched, her eyes sunken in smudged shadows,
looking miserable. “Come sit with me in the bedroom.” She led the way through
the connecting door, and sat on her bed. D'arcy followed despondently, and slid
down beside her, mopping at her streaked mascara and dripping nose.

Kate sighed heavily, her stomach dense as a heavy stone.
“I was sure you would have told him, Darcy. I’m trying very hard to understand
why you are so afraid to trust Eli with your news.”

D'arcy kept her eyes downcast. “I… think… now I’m afraid
of what he will do when he finds out I kept it from him for all this time. My
reasons… my feelings are so complicated, so confused I don’t know if… I’m just
so emotional.” She lifted her wet eyes to Kate’s imploringly. “I’ve made such a
mess of everything.”

“I know D'arcy. I know. But you know how important this
is. You’ve got to tell Eli… no matter why you kept it a secret, you
cannot
put it off any longer.
Believe me. It’s going to get better. You’re doing so well. Really.” Kate sat
quietly, stroking D’arcy’s back while she waited for her to regain her
composure.

After a few minutes of silence, D'arcy stood up sharply,
determination in her movements, and bent to examine herself in Kate’s dresser
mirror. “Oh my God! I look a mess.” She licked the corner of a tissue and
dabbed at her eyes, distressed.

Kate offered her make-up for repairs, and D'arcy patched
herself up, and combed her hair sleek again. She stood up tall, smoothing her
sweater over her swelling abdomen, and firmed her chin, though it quivered.
They returned to the others in silence.

Kate broke the silence that awaited them like an empty
theatre. “D'arcy has something important to say.”

“Eli,” D'arcy turned to face Eli, her fear palpable. “I’ve
kept something from you, that you should have known long ago.” Her voice
quavered and she stopped.

Kate kept her eyes focused on Eli, who kept his face
impassive, though she could sense his apprehension in his ebony eyes. The only
sign of his tension was his Adam’s apple sliding up and down his slender neck
as he swallowed silently. She knew he feared something terrible, that D'arcy
was ill, or wanted to go ahead with divorce, and felt sorry for him in his
state of prolonged ignorance.

D'arcy bit her lip, hesitated, then whispered, her voice
watery. “I’m pregnant.”

After a moment during which Eli sat, his eyes vacant, his
face blank, his reaction was sudden. Jumping up, he gasped “What? What? How
could… ? D’arc…” He darted a furtive glance around, perhaps seeking refutations
or reassurance in the surprised expressions of Sharon and Simon. When his eyes
met hers, Kate gazed back steadily. She wouldn’t pretend she hadn’t known. “I
can’t believe… ” he sputtered stepping closer to D'arcy.

Simon sat very still and tentatively glanced over to meet
Kate’s eye. Raising his brows, he nodded his ‘aha.’ He did not look exactly
smug— but he seemed to feel vindicated. She recalled that he had maintained all
along that D'arcy kept a secret; at last he was proved right. His instinct
hadn’t failed him. Kate acknowledged his insight with a tilt of her head and a
small knowing smile. His gaze returned to Eli, who looked stunned.

Eli looked hard at D'arcy. “When? How?”

“I’m already four
months
pregnant,” she said with emphasis. “I didn’t plan it!”

Eli agitation was evident. His jaw moved, but no sounds
emerged. No one made a sound. At last he looked hard at her— meeting her eye,
his brows pinched together. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She sobbed again, shrugging. He also seemed overwhelmed,
his face twitching uncontrollably while he processed the earth-shattering news.

“I– Excuse me.” He said, his voice cracking like a
choirboy’s, and he spun and swiftly strode away, out the yellow door into the
hall. Kate prayed he would go no farther. D'arcy crumpled and wept soundlessly,
and Sharon quickly moved beside her to comfort her. Kate looked up sharply,
widened her eyes and jerked her head for Simon to follow him.

While the men were outside, and Kate could only hope that
Simon would work his usual magic on Eli, Sharon gushed her surprise and
congratulations while Kate endeavored to calm the distraught D'arcy, who wailed
that her fears were justified by Eli’s reaction, and that all their hard work
was for nothing.

All conversation came to a halt when Eli and Simon
reentered the loft, and the three women looked up anxiously. Eli lifted his
chin, smiled and strode with resolve over to D'arcy, and sat down beside her,
calmly taking her hands in his and facing her. He leaned in and kissed her
tenderly, whispering, “I’m so incredibly happy.”

D'arcy visibly let go of the tension that held her
upright, slipping into a softened posture, her face slackened with relief, like
a balloon with a slow leak. Her chin continued to quiver through a watery
smile.

Eli leaned back, draping his arm over D’arcy’s shoulders.
“Well. Where were we?” he said, his steady gaze directed on Kate.

Kate raised her brows slightly in response, casting her
eyes from person to person around the room. She waited an additional few
moments to be certain the hullabaloo was in fact over. Just like that.

“Okay. Well. I believe we were about to discuss the
importance of family in a successful marriage, and, specifically, how you two
would like to see that expressed.” She smiled in invitation, a challenge to
them all to embrace a more frank discussion than they had yet had.

She couldn’t quite believe it, but somehow she knew,
they’d crossed an invisible threshold of some kind, like the crest of an alpine
ridge, and could see a new vista unfold and stretch out on the other side. The
end was in sight.

This was Kate’s chance to guide her clients into their
future, stronger and better for having done the work of mediation. She felt
both a sense of victory, and vindication.

From the corner of her eye, Kate saw Simon lean back
against the sofa, folding his arms across his chest, his eyes roaming over her.
She felt contentment radiating from him, and she shared the moment of elation,
knowing that they’d accomplished something important together. Though she
caught his smiling eyes from time to time, she did not dwell there, but
somehow, without words, there was mutual understanding.

Alas, that understanding applied only to their shared
work, and not their relationship.

Kate
was ecstatic over Eli and D’arcy’s
last session. Eli’s reaction to D’arcy’s shocking news didn’t surprise her, at
least not initially. What did surprise her was how quickly he’d pulled himself
together and embraced such a profound change to his own life. But, that was the
new Eli, or seemed to be. She still wondered what Simon had said to him in the
corridor.

As for her, she could taste the end of the case. The rest
was routine, really, although finalizing the agreement was a kind of long drawn
out coaching process that gelled all of the lessons they had learned, and was
important in its own way. The challenge for her would be to keep a cool, civil
distance between herself and Simon, and this would achieve both her ends.
Sharon, hopefully, would abandon her threat of pursuing a formal complaint with
the Society once she had received a copy of Kate’s letter, and she and Simon
could delay addressing their relationship until the case was over. It would be
hard. It was difficult enough to resist his warm, compelling eye contact on
Tuesday when D’arcy’s secret was revealed. She’d wanted to smile and throw her
arms around him in her delight, and to acknowledge his sensitivity and insight.
But that wouldn’t do. At all costs, she must tamp down the aching sense of loss
and longing that burned inside her ribs.

She sat at her paper-strewn desk suspended between joy
and despair. The flat platinum sky pressed down heavily, obliterating any sense
that Christmas was coming, making her exuberant decorations seem tawdry and
falsely optimistic.

She stood up and moved to the window, staring absently
through the rain-splashed glass at the view over the grey city. The buildings
and the water beyond were partly obscured in the distance by low clouds, fog
and falling rain. Mist obscured the condos across False Creek, altering the
landscape until it was unrecognizable: close and claustrophobic. She placed her
slender fingertips gently against the cold glass, and then pushed her palm
against it for a moment. Turning back to her desk, pensive, she pressed her
cold palm against her warm one, relishing the contrast. She picked up the
Administrator’s response that sat on top of the papers on her desk, fingering
it thoughtfully and her eyes fell on her carefully worded response underneath.
Sharon should have it by now.

Briiing.
Briiing. Briiing.

Kate reached for the phone.

“Good morning, Kate,” Sharon said.

What impeccable timing.

“Well. We’re very nearly at the end of D'arcy and Eli’s
case. I never would have believed it, but it seems they’re on the road to a
true reconciliation,” Sharon admitted.

Kate was suspicious. “Yes. I’m pleased, obviously. Eli
came through in the end, despite the shock.”

“And despite his unreliable and, in my opinion,
untrustworthy character.”

“You can’t still believe that.”

“I never felt comfortable around him. To each his own, I
suppose. But D'arcy, now,
that
I never suspected. I was getting rather frustrated with her distracted,
emotional behavior.”

“She had her reasons, I guess.” Surely Sharon didn’t call
just to rehash.

“I’ve even begun to wonder if the two crazy kids deserve
each other, for all the mess they’d made of their marriage.” Sharon’s brittle
laughter grated on Kate’s nerves. “D'arcy seems happy, and Madame Duchamp is
satisfied, too.”

“I’m pleased to hear it. What can I do for you, Sharon?”

“Just a bit of unfinished business, Kate. You can’t tell
me you and Simon haven’t been seeing each other all along. You’re so adept at
hiding it. But all those puppy dog eyes and coy smiles— I haven’t missed a
thing. If you thought I had, you were sorely mistaken. I really feel this
flirtation is unacceptable.”

Kate drew a slow breath. “I made my case quite clearly in
my response to the Society. I believe–”

“Yes. I got my copy Tuesday afternoon. But I’m not sure
you understand the problem.”

“Which is?”

“Once the case is over, you still have to leave him
alone.”

WTF
?
Tension snapped through Kate, stiffening her neck, tightening her grip on the
phone. She spoke through clenched teeth. “Do I?”

“Ever since this case began, I’ve been having a hard time
persuading Simon to spend time with me. It’s almost as though he wants to sever
ties with all his old friends and acquaintances. I worry about him. I don’t
think he’s really over the whole separation thing. I know he’s terribly lonely,
poor thing. No one in our circle of friends has known Simon longer, or
understands him better, than I do.”

Though Kate doubted that, it did concern her that he’d
cut himself off.
Am I really the
cause of that?

“It’s what’s best for Simon. How could you know how
vulnerable he is? You’re an outsider. He’s not ready for another relationship.”

Echos of Will’s speech that morning at Simon’s house.
Everyone sure felt he needed protection from relationships with women.

Unless it’s
with you, I suppose
. Kate kept her voice steady. “What do you want
me to do, Sharon?”

“You must promise not to see Simon again once the case
has concluded.
In toto
.
You have to see that.”

“Pardon me?” Even though Kate had vowed to keep her
distance for now, she wasn’t going to take orders from Sharon, or bow to her
threats.

“If you give me your solemn word, I’ll drop the
complaint. It’s simple. That’s all I want.”

Blood pounded in her ears. She could hardly believe what
she’d heard. “That’s blackmail, Sharon. I would have thought you were above
that.”

“Not blackmail. An understanding between friends. So…
your word?”

“My
word
is… that I will continue to act upon my own council, as usual, and not be
bullied by you.
That’s
my final word.” How dare she? Kate's hands trembled and she gripped the edge of
her desk, struggling to take deeper breaths, to stay calm.

“You’d better hope the board executive can find it in
their hearts to pardon you, for the sake of your reputation. Otherwise I
imagine the whole interlude will be terribly embarrassing for you, especially
with your award coming up after Christmas.”

“Haven’t you done enough damage?”

“Not as long as you and Simon insist on mixing business
with pleasure. I found your response to the Administrator very enlightening.
But I doubt very much he’ll dismiss the complaint. You know he’ll refer to the
Executive now, don’t you? Ethics are not arbitrary or negotiable. You can’t
expect to work in this business and write your own rulebook.”

“Don’t even pretend that you’re concerned about ethics.”

“I intend to see this through to the end. I’ll be sending
notice to the Administrator of my intent to proceed. In fact, the letter is
sitting right here on my desk, ready to go. I wanted to give you one last
chance.”

“How considerate of you.” Kate’s voice had become hard
and flat. There was a moment of silence, neither woman speaking.

Kate thought for a moment, and despite her misgivings,
continued. She owed it to Simon to get this woman off his back, at least, even
if she couldn’t save herself. “You’re sadly mistaken. I know it may have seemed
like there was something going on from time to time, but Simon and I were
simply renewing an old acquaintance, that’s all. You can do what you want to
me, but it won’t matter in the end. You won’t get what you want.”

After a long pause, Sharon said, “What do you mean?”

“Simon can’t be having a relationship with me. Or. You.
Sharon. I have reason to believe he and Rachel are… or will soon be… getting
back together.” She swallowed, her throat suddenly dry and painfully tight.
“That’s what Simon and I have been talking about. I’ve been coaching him.” It
was a small lie, if it was for a good cause.

Sharon’s response was quick and shrill. “They’re nearly
divorced! They’ve been separated for two years. You know that.”

“Perhaps they were too hasty. People have second
thoughts. They have a daughter. They’re a family, Sharon, whatever their
differences have been. That’s no small consideration. I saw them together. They
sure didn’t look separated to me.” As Kate elaborated on her fib, something she
couldn’t help but worry about, the less plausible it seemed to her. Kate could
hear Sharon’s quick breathing.

“You’re lying. You’re trying to dissuade me from pursuing
this complaint. It won’t work.”

“Couples reconcile all the time, Sharon. Look at D'arcy
and Eli. Look how bitterly they fought just a few months ago. But they love
each other. People don’t give up that easily on a commitment that’s supposed to
last a lifetime. After all, you were the one who told me Simon and Rachel were
the golden couple, so ideally suited to each other. As their friend, you should
be happy for them.” Kate waited through another tense silence. It turned out,
when motivated, she was a better liar than she though possible. She hated
herself for feeling smug and satisfied at Sharon’s discomposure. Kate wasn’t a
vindictive person, but this horrible woman deserved it.

“Well. If it’s true, of course I’m very happy for them.
But it won’t change my decision to file a complaint against you.”

Her eyes burned as tears of frustration welled. She held
her voice as steady as possible for her parting words, knowing how true they
were. “As you wish. There’s nothing I can do to stop you.”

~*~

The
following Tuesday, Kate was
uneasy —excited to be finalizing D'arcy and Eli’s agreement, jittery awaiting a
response from the Committee to Sharon’s complaint. All things needing to be
cleared up before Christmas, which was now only nine days away, heralding at
least two weeks during which almost no business could be conducted. She was
running hot and cold, her stomach churning, as though she was being consumed
from the inside out. It was like enduring one long unending panic attack, and
she felt as frayed as the old armchair Oscar favoured as a scratching post.
Anything left unresolved would eat her alive by January.

And, if she was completely honest with herself, Kate was edge,
wondering what would happen between Simon and herself once all, or most, of the
obstacles were out of the way. Would he still insist on being with her? Or
would he realize his duty to his family and agree to work on reconciling with
Rachel? Would he tell her to mind her own business? Still, first things first,
and until then, she must try not to be distracted by him.

“Good morning, everyone,” Simon said as he joined the
others around her long dining room table, their papers spread out in front of
them.

“What delectable flavours are you tempting us with today,
Kate?” Simon asked, eyeing the plate of cranberry-studded scones without shame,
smiling broadly. She felt his energy pulling at her, as though their unspoken
understanding kept them close. Closer than was wise. She could hear it in his
alluring, warm voice, and had to resist the temptation of his compelling blue
gaze or she would forget herself.

“You’d better be careful, Simon, or you’ll soon be
putting on as much weight as me,” laughed D'arcy, patting her bulging middle.
Eli, who sat very close, threw back his head to join in the laughter, and
reached out to give D’arcy’s rounded belly a loving pat, tossing a warmhearted,
self-conscious grin at Simon.

Simon evaded D’arcee’s teasing by changing the subject,
accepting his cup of tea and addressing her. “You two sure don’t look like you
need us anymore, if you ask me. What are we doing here when we all could be
catching up on our Christmas shopping?”

“Patience now. We’re almost there,” smiled Kate. “Today
we’re going over the final,
final
,
resolution agreement, which will be an important tool for D'arcy and Eli in the
coming years.” She emphasized her point with a raised hand, palm out, like a
vow, then shrugged. “Then I just need to meet briefly with them for signatures.
You attorneys are scot-free after today,” she teased, tossing a small smile in
Simon’s direction, “and are most welcome to go shopping, if it pleases you. As
far as I’m concerned, you’re only here for the baking, anyway.”

“Busted!” mumbled Simon, past a mouthful of scone,
grinning. He swallowed loudly, and Kate tore her eyes away from his bobbing
Adam’s apple, wishing she could press her mouth against his warm skin.

He continued. “What do you say, Sharon? Should we call up
Rachel and head out for a shopping spree? She hasn’t told me what she wants for
Christmas. I'm sure she's confided in you.” Sharon looked up sharply, a
question posed in her eyes. He grinned idiotically at her.

What was that all about? Kate’s assertion that he and
Rachel were reconciling was compelling, but it was supposed to be a lie. Wasn’t
it? He seemed to be rubbing Sharon’s nose in it. But what did he mean by it?
The notion obviously troubled Sharon more than she let on. Kate could only hope
her own misery didn’t show.

“Perhaps next week, Simon. I’m already booked up this
week.” Sharon smiled stiffly, clearly unsure whether he was joking or not.

Kate turned away to read sections of the agreement for
Eli and D'arcy to review, and Sharon paid rapt attention, though Kate detected
her eyes sliding back and forth from Kate to Simon, curious and ever vigilant.

There was an undercurrent of tension between Kate and
Sharon that seethed under the surface like a sleeping serpent, keeping Kate on
edge, though they were both putting on a good pretense of indifference. Kate
could sense Sharon puzzling over the notion of Simon and Rachel reconciling,
and almost pitied her. If it weren’t for her own insecurities.

Just as Kate read a statement about trust, D'arcy
blurted.