The old scout cleared his throat. ‘There’s just the matter of our share o’ the proceeds. As I recall, we discussed a twentieth—’
‘What about my share?’ Cantliss elbowed his way past Sweet to stare up. ‘It was me told you there’d be rebels up there! Me who found those bastards out!’
‘Why, so you did!’ said Cosca. ‘You are a veritable child-stealing Prophet and we owe you all our success!’
Cantliss’ bloodshot eyes lit with a fire of greed. ‘So . . . what am I due?’
Friendly stepped up from behind, innocuously slipped a noose over his head, and as Cantliss glanced around, Jubair hauled with all his considerable weight on the rope, which had been looped over
a beam projecting from the side of the broken tower. Hemp grated as the bandit was hoisted off his feet. One kicking foot knocked a black spray of ink across Sworbreck’s ledger and the writer
stumbled up, ashen-faced, as Cantliss pawed feebly at the noose with his broken hand, eyes bulging.
‘Paid in full!’ shouted Cosca. Some of the mercenaries half-heartedly cheered. A couple laughed. One threw an apple core and missed. Most barely raised an eyebrow.
‘Oh God,’ whispered Temple, picking at the stitching on his buttons and staring at the tarred planks under his feet. But he could still see Cantliss’ squirming shadow there.
‘Oh God.’
Friendly wound the rope about a tree-stump and tied it off. Hedges, who’d been shoving his way towards the wagon, cleared his throat and carefully retreated, smiling no longer. Shy spat
through the gap in her front teeth, and turned away. Lamb stood watching until Cantliss stopped twisting about, one hand resting slack on the hilt of the sword he had taken from the Dragon People.
Then he frowned towards the door through which Savian had been taken, and flicked his stripped chicken bone into the mud.
‘Seventeen times,’ said Friendly, frowning up.
‘Seventeen times what?’ asked Cosca.
‘He kicked. Not counting that last one.’
‘That last one was more of a twitch,’ said Jubair.
‘Is seventeen a lot?’ asked the Old Man.
Friendly shrugged. ‘About average.’
Cosca looked down at Sweet, grey brows high. ‘You were saying something about a share, I think?’
The old scout watched Cantliss creaking back and forth, with a hooked finger gently loosened his collar and opted for the easy way again. ‘Must’ve misremembered. Reckon I’ll
just be heading on back to Crease, if that’s all the same with you.’
‘As you wish.’ Below them, the first man in line upended his pack and sent gold and silver sliding across the table in a glittering heap. The captain general plumped his hat back on
and flicked the feather. ‘Happy journey!’
Going Back
‘
T
hat fucking old shit-fucker!’ snarled Sweet, slashing with a stick at a branch that hung across the road and showering snow all over
himself. ‘Prickomo fucking Cocksca! That bastard old arsehole-fucker!’
‘You said that one already, as I recall,’ muttered Shy.
‘He said old arsehole bastard-fucker,’ said Crying Rock.
‘My mistake,’ said Shy. ‘That’s a whole different thing.’
‘Ain’t fucking disagreeing, are you?’ snapped Sweet.
‘No I’m not,’ said Shy. ‘He’s a hell of a fucker, all right.’
‘Shit . . . fuck . . . shit . . . fuck . . .’ And Sweet kicked at his horse and whipped at the tree-trunks in a rage as he passed. ‘I’ll get even with that maggot-eaten
bastard, I can tell you that!’
‘Let it be,’ grunted Lamb. ‘Some things you can’t change. You got to be realistic.’
‘That was my damn retirement got stole there!’
‘Still breathing, ain’t you?’
‘Easy for you to say! You didn’t lose no fortune!’
Lamb gave him a look. ‘I lost plenty.’
Sweet worked his mouth for a moment, then shouted, ‘Fuck!’ one last time and flung his stick away into the trees.
A cold and heavy quiet, then. The iron tyres of Majud’s wagon scrape-scraping and some loose part in Cursnbick’s apparatus in the back clank-clanking under its canvas cover and the
horse’s hooves crunch-crunching in the snow on the road, rutted from the business flowing up from Crease. Pit and Ro lay in the back under a blanket, faces pressed up against each other,
peaceful now in sleep. Shy watched them rocking gently as the axles shifted.
‘I guess we did it,’ she said.
‘Aye,’ said Lamb, but looking a long stretch short of a celebration. ‘Guess so.’
They rounded another long bend, road switching back one last time as it dropped down steep off the hills, the stream beside half-frozen, white ice creeping out jagged from each bank to almost
meet in the middle.
Shy didn’t want to say anything. But once a thought was in her head she’d never been much good at keeping it there, and this thought had been pricking at her ever since they left
Beacon. ‘They’re going to be cutting into him, ain’t they? Asking questions.’
‘Savian?’
‘Who else?’
The scarred side of Lamb’s face twitched a little. ‘That’s a fact.’
‘Ain’t a pretty one.’
‘Facts don’t tend to be.’
‘He saved me.’
‘Aye.’
‘He saved you.’
‘True.’
‘We really going to fucking leave him, then?’
Lamb’s face twitched again, jaw-muscles working as he frowned out hard across the country ahead. The trees were thinning as they dropped out of the mountains, the moon fat and full in a
clear sky star-dusted, spilling light over the high plateau. A great flat expanse of dry dirt and thorny scrub looked like it could never have held life, all half carpeted now with sparkling snow.
Through the midst, straight as a sword-cut, the white strip of the old Imperial Road, a scar through the country angling off towards Crease, wedged somewhere in the black rumour of hills on the
horizon.
Lamb’s horse slowed to a walk, then stopped.
‘Shall we halt?’ asked Majud.
‘You told me you’d be my friend for life,’ said Lamb.
The merchant blinked. ‘And I meant it.’
‘Then keep on.’ Lamb turned in his saddle to look back. Behind them, somewhere high up in the folded, forested ridges there was a glow. The great bonfire the mercenaries had stacked
high in the middle of Beacon to light their celebrations. ‘Got a good road here and a good moon to steer by. Keep on all night, quick and steady, you might make Crease by dark
tomorrow.’
‘Why the rush?’
Lamb took a long breath, looked to the starry sky and breathed out smoke in a grumbling sigh. ‘There’s going to be trouble.’
‘We going back?’ asked Shy.
‘You’re not.’ The shadow of his hat fell across his face as he looked at her so his eyes were just two gleams. ‘I am.’
‘What?’
‘You’re taking the children. I’m going back.’
‘You always were, weren’t you?’
He nodded.
‘Just wanted to get us far away.’
‘I’ve only had a few friends, Shy. I’ve done right by even fewer. Could count ’em on one hand.’ He turned his left hand over and looked at the stump of his missing
finger. ‘Even this one. This is how it has to be.’
‘Ain’t nothing has to be. I ain’t letting you go alone.’
‘Yes y’are.’ He eased his horse closer, looking her in the eye. ‘Do you know what I felt, when we came over that hill and saw the farm all burned out? The first thing I
felt, before the sorrow and the fear and the anger caught up?’
She swallowed, her mouth all sticky-dry, not wanting to answer, not wanting to know the answer.
‘Joy,’ whispered Lamb. ‘Joy and relief. ’Cause I knew right off what I’d have to do. What I’d have to be. Knew right off I could put an end on ten years of
lying. A man’s got to be what he is, Shy.’ He looked back at his hand and made a three-fingered fist of it. ‘I don’t . . .
feel
evil. But the things I done. What else
can you call ’em?’
‘You ain’t evil,’ she whispered. ‘You’re just . . .’
‘If it hadn’t been for Savian I’d have killed you in them caves. You and Ro.’
Shy swallowed. She knew it well enough. ‘If it hadn’t been for you, we’d never have got the children back.’
Lamb looked at the pair of ’em, Ro with her arm over Pit. Stubble of hair showing dark now, almost grown over the scratch down her scalp. Both so changed. ‘Did we get ’em
back?’ he asked, and his voice was rough. ‘Sometimes I think we just lost us, too.’
‘I’m who I was.’
Lamb nodded, and it seemed he had the glimmer of tears in his eyes. ‘You are, maybe. But I don’t reckon there’s any going back for me.’ He leaned from his saddle then and
hugged her tight. ‘I love you. And them. But my love ain’t a weight anyone should have to carry. Best of luck, Shy. The very best.’ And he let her go, and turned his horse, and he
rode away, following their tracks back towards the trees, and the hills, and the reckoning beyond.
‘What the hell happened to being realistic?’ she called after him.
He stopped just a moment, a lonely figure in all that moonlit white. ‘Always sounded like a good idea but, being honest? It never worked for me.’
Slow, and numb, Shy turned her back on him. Turned her back and rode on across the plateau, after the wagon and Majud’s hired men, after Sweet and Crying Rock, staring at the white road
ahead but seeing nothing, tongue working at the gap between her teeth and the night air cold, cold in her chest with each breath. Cold and empty. Thinking about what Lamb had said to her. What
she’d said to Savian. Thinking about all the long miles she’d covered the last few months and the dangers she’d faced to get this far, and not knowing what she could do. This was
how it had to be.
Except when folk told Shy how things had to be, she started thinking on how to make ’em otherwise.
The wagon hit a lump and with a clatter Pit got jolted awake. He sat up, and he stared blinking about him, and said, ‘Where’s Lamb?’ And Shy’s hands went slack on the
reins, and she let her horse slow, then stop, and she sat there solemn.
Majud looked over his shoulder. ‘Lamb said keep on!’
‘You got to do what he tells you? He ain’t your father, is he?’
‘I suppose not,’ said the merchant, pulling up the horses.
‘He’s mine,’ muttered Shy. And there it was. Maybe he wasn’t the father she’d want. But he was still the only one she’d got. The only one all three of
’em had got. She’d enough regrets to live with.
‘I’ve got to go back,’ she said.
‘Madness!’ snapped Sweet, sitting his horse not far off. ‘Bloody madness!’
‘No doubt. And you’re coming with me.’
A silence. ‘You know there’s more’n a hundred mercenaries up there, don’t you? Killers, every man?’
‘The Dab Sweet I heard stories of wouldn’t take fright at a few mercenaries.’
‘Don’t know if you noticed, but the Dab Sweet you heard stories of ain’t much like the one wearing my coat.’
‘I hear you used to be.’ She rode up to him and reined in close. ‘I hear you used to be quite a man.’
Crying Rock slowly nodded. ‘That is true.’
Sweet frowned at the old Ghost woman, and frowned at Shy, and finally frowned at the ground, scratching at his beard and bit by bit slumping down in his saddle. ‘Used to be. You’re
young and got dreams ahead of you still. You don’t know how it is. One day you’re something, so promising and full o’ dares, so big the world’s too small a place to hold
you. Then, ’fore you know it, you’re old, and you realise all them things you had in mind you’ll never get to. All them doors you felt too big to fit through have already shut.
Only one left open and it leads to nothing but nothing.’ He pulled his hat off and scrubbed at his white hair with his dirty nails. ‘You lose your nerve. And once it’s gone where
do you find it? I got scared, Shy South. And once you get scared there ain’t no going back, there just ain’t no—’
Shy caught a fist of his fur coat and dragged him close. ‘I ain’t giving up this way, you hear me? I just ain’t
fucking
having it! Now I need that bastard who killed a
red bear with his hands up at the source of the Sokwaya, whether it bloody well happened or not. You hear me, you old shit?’
He blinked at her for a moment. ‘I hear you.’
‘Well? You want to get even with Cosca or you just want to swear about it?’
Crying Rock had brought her horse close. ‘Maybe do it for Leef,’ she said. ‘And those others buried on the plains.’
Sweet stared at her weather-beaten face for a long moment, for some reason with the strangest, haunted look in his eye. Then his mouth twitched into a smile. ‘How come after all this time
you’re still so damn beautiful?’ he asked.
Crying Rock just shrugged, like facts were facts, and stuck her pipe between her teeth.
Sweet reached up and brushed Shy’s hand away. He straightened his fur coat. He leaned from his saddle and spat. He looked with narrowed eyes up towards Beacon and set his jaw. ‘If I
get killed I’m going to haunt your skinny arse for life.’
‘If you get killed I doubt my life’ll be too long a stretch.’ Shy slipped down from her saddle and crunched stiff-legged to the wagon, stood looking down at her brother and
sister. ‘Got something to take care of,’ she said, putting a gentle hand on each of them. ‘You go on with Majud. He’s a little on the stingy side but he’s one of the
good ones.’
‘Where you going?’ asked Pit.
‘Left something behind.’
‘Will you be long?’
She managed to smile. ‘Not long. I’m sorry, Ro. I’m sorry for everything.’
‘So am I,’ said Ro. Maybe that was something. For sure it was all she’d get.
She touched Pit’s cheek. Just a brush with her fingertips. ‘I’ll see you two in Crease. You’ll hardly notice I’m gone.’
Ro sniffed, sleepy and sullen, and wouldn’t meet her eye, and Pit stared at her, face all tracked with tears. She wondered if she really would see them in Crease. Madness, like Sweet said,
to come all this way just to let them go. But there was no point to long goodbyes. Sometimes it’s better to do a thing than live with the fear of it. That’s what Lamb used to say.
‘Go!’ she shouted at Majud, before she had the chance to change her mind. He nodded to her, and snapped the reins, and the wagon rolled on.