Red Red Rose (23 page)

It
was quiet when I walked in, just a few customers scattered throughout the shop,
buried in their own lives, on their phones or computers. Danny was the only one
who looked up from his laptop and smiled at me. I did my best to muster a smile
in return, but I don’t think I was successful. His faded to a slight frown. I
diverted my gaze.

Reggie
and Cassie chatted behind the counter, pausing their conversation when I walked
up and leaned against the counter. “How’s the morning been?”

“Good,
but you just missed your boyfriend,” Cassie chirped

“Spencer
was here?” Some of my anxiety spilled over into my question and I knew Cassie
could hear it.

Her
brow pinched with concern. “Yeah. He was in here about fifteen minutes ago.
Asked when you’d be in. I told him I wasn’t sure, that you had things to do
this morning. Is something wrong? Did he do something?”

“I
don’t know,” I muttered, pushing off the counter. “I’ll be back in the office
if you guys need me.” I couldn’t bring myself to tell them about my meeting
with Monroe and Parker and their suspicions. Not yet anyway. Short of Spencer
confessing, I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to accept his guilt, or that I’d
trusted the man who might have killed my best friend. Maybe even fallen in love
with him.

God,
I
thought I might be sick. I slumped into the chair at my desk and covered my
mouth with my hand to stifle the sob that was trying to work its way out of my
throat. I sucked in ragged breaths and willed myself not to lose it.

Someone
knocked on the open door and my eyes jerked to the doorway. Will stood there
with worried eyes. “Can I come in?”

I
nodded, fisting my hand, afraid that if I opened my mouth, that first sob might
get out and then I would have a full breakdown in front of him.

He
dragged another chair next to mine and grabbed my hand, pulling it away from my
face, holding it in his. “What’s going on, Nora? Cass sent me back here because
she was worried you were upset. Now I see she had reason to be worried.”

The
tears gathered behind my eyes. “I don’t know what to believe anymore,” I
admitted and then let it all out. Once I’d told him everything I’d learned
about the investigation, he sat back in his chair and scraped a hand over his hair.

“Shit,
Nora,” he breathed, shaking his head. “No wonder you look like you’re barely
holding it together. Did you know he was a suspect before this morning?”

“I
found out last night. Nathan called to tell me Spencer was being questioned. I
thought he was just being a jealous asshole.” I looked down at my lap, blinking
away the frustrated tears that were still pooling.

“I
thought you said the police questioned and ruled him out the same time they did
the rest of us.”

“According
to the FBI agent, no one was entirely ruled out. It was more that they couldn’t
find a link at the time to anyone they questioned, but I guess Shaw has been on
their radar for a while. I just didn’t know.” I felt pathetic and foolish.

“You
had no reason to believe he could be involved.”

“But
I should have. Hell, you even warned me to be careful, and if I hadn’t been so
distracted by the damn butterflies in my stomach, maybe I would have noticed
something sooner.”

“You
need to stop. You don’t even know that he’s guilty.”

I
scoffed. “Oh, so now you’re defending him.”

“I
know I wasn’t exactly his biggest fan and I didn’t trust him, but that was just
me looking out for you and not wanting to see you get hurt by another asshole
like Nathan. That doesn’t mean I’m convinced the guy is a cold-blooded killer,
and maybe you should give him the benefit of the doubt until an actual arrest
is made. The police and the FBI want to catch the guy so bad, it’s possible
they’re just going after the first one that looks good, but he could still be
proven innocent and then you’ll just beat yourself up for condemning him.”

“What
am I supposed to do in the mean-time?”

“All
you can do is wait. And be careful. Stay away from him for now. If he’s
innocent, he’ll understand when this is all over, and no matter what, your
friends will be here for you. We won’t let him or anyone else hurt you.”

I
slumped my head against his shoulder and he massaged his hand up and down my
back a few times. “I feel like an idiot, like I’m doomed to keep falling for
the bad guys.”

My
cell phone on the desk began vibrating. I sat up and started to reach for it,
until I saw who was calling. “Speak of the devil,” I muttered bitterly, letting
the call go unanswered.

“You
should get out of here. Take the day off, go get your nails done, or go see
your parents, anything that will keep from you stressing this all day until you
hear from your FBI agent.”

I
started to protest, but Will grabbed my hand and pulled me up from my seat. “I
don’t want to hear any excuses. Your people can run the shop. You don’t need to
be here today.”

I
didn’t have much of an argument and I let him push me out of my own shop with
Reggie’s promise that they would call me if they needed anything. I wasn’t a
nails kind of girl, but I did manage to get a last minute massage appointment.
I figured if anything might help me relax, it would be a massage. With some time
to kill until my appointment, I made a mental list of everything I was out of
at home and did my monthly shopping.

It
turned out to be a mistake. Every store that I walked into was decked out with
red and pink, trying to make those last minute Valentine sales before the big
day on Wednesday. I’d never been all that concerned with the holiday in the
past, but at the beginning of the month, when I made this week’s schedule, I’d
given myself the night off, in hopes that I might spend it with Shaw. In my
head he was back to being Shaw. It helped me to put distance between Shaw and
Spencer as if they weren’t the same guy. Even though they were. On impulse, at
my last stop, I bought a box of gourmet chocolates. Every girl should have
chocolates on Valentine’s Day, even if she had to buy them herself. Not that
this box would make it to Wednesday. I proceeded to eat half of it on the drive
to the massage therapist’s office.

During
my massage I missed another call from Shaw, and all the tension Dante worked
out of my body with his amazing hands, returned.

I
couldn’t go back to the shop, afraid he might show up again, and I was too
nervous to go home for the same reason. Why hadn’t the cops picked him up yet?

I
pulled into a sub shop for lunch, and it was as I was leaving, that I finally
got the call from Parker that they were holding Shaw. I thought I would be able
to breathe easier, but if anything I felt worse.

Emily
screamed my name and I ran down the hallway toward her. I could see the tears
streaking down her face and yet she was so far away. She reached out her hand,
begging me to help her, and I tried to pump my legs faster. It felt like the
harder I ran, the more resistance I met, like running with weights attached to
my legs. There was a shadow behind her, looming over her, trying to pull her
in. She fought and thrashed and screamed my name, but I couldn’t get to her,
and then she was gone, completely enveloped by the shadow. Only now it wasn’t a
shadow.

It
was a man, tall and muscular, his face shrouded by a dark hood. I couldn’t see
his eyes, but I could feel them prickling my skin. I collapsed to my knees and
begged him to bring Emily back. I pleaded with him to tell me what he’d done
with her, but no answer came. He moved closer with slow, menacing steps and I
shook with fear. Instinct urged me to get to my feet and run, but I couldn’t. I
was trapped in that spot, paralyzed by my terror. The panic and dread built as
he drew near, and still I couldn’t move. I watched each step he took through
the tears that blurred my vision. I knew that once he reached me, he would kill
me. I felt it, the shadows pressing down on me as he came to stand over my
kneeling position.

That’s
when I realized we were no longer in a hall, but at Urban Grind. No light
filtered in through the large panes of glass, only the blackness of night. I
stared at his booted feet, refusing to look up into the face of my killer and I
braced myself for whatever he would do. But he did nothing. My frame shook and
trembled as I waited for my end, but it didn’t come. I risked a peek up through
my lashes and it was as if he’d been waiting for me to look at him, because he
slowly lowered himself onto his haunches before me, his face still hidden by
the hood.

His
hand came out and he brushed the backs of his fingers over my cheek. A ripple
of shame went through me, because even though I knew he meant me harm, I craved
his touch. He cupped my jaw and I closed my eyes, and then for the first time
he spoke.

“Open
your eyes,” his low, rough voice worked like a balm inside of me, soothing some
of the fear and dread. My eyes opened and I looked where I knew his were, and
then he began to draw back the hood at the same time he whispered, “See me.”

When
the hood no longer hid his features from me, it was Shaw’s warm brown eyes that
stared back at me, and I didn’t understand why more tears fell from mine. It
was Shaw. My Spencer. I would be safe now. Then his hand, which had been so
gentle, slid down to my throat. I shuddered and my lips parted on a breath. He
leaned in and pressed his lips softly to mine at the same time his fingers
curled around my neck. My tears came again, falling harder and faster as he
kissed me. His fingers tightened and I could no longer breathe. He broke the
kiss and I clawed at his hand, but it did no good. He held my gaze as he choked
the life from me.

I
felt the fight leave me and my body went limp, but still I didn’t shut my eyes
and give in to the darkness that was trying to pull me under. He lowered me to
the ground on my back and followed me down, leaning over me, his hand still
locked around my throat. Finally, when I couldn’t fight it any longer, I closed
my eyes.

Then
they jerked open and I sucked in a deep breath. The hand was no longer wrapped
around my throat. The only shadows left were the ones cast by the bit of
moonlight streaming in my bedroom window. I lay there, staring up the ceiling
waiting for my eyes to adjust to the dark and my rapid breathing to slow.

Just
a nightmare,
I told myself, but my heart thudded
fiercely as if I was still in the dream. Or maybe it was because I’d awoken
from one nightmare right into another.

Emily.

If
Shaw hurt her . . .

I
swallowed and fought back angry tears. I was swamped by overwhelming feelings of
helplessness and uselessness. It was impossible to get back to sleep after
that.

I
thought back over the last month and every conversation I had with Shaw. Every
look, every shared smile, and touch. Every kiss. Where did I miss it? I
couldn’t be that blind, but I couldn’t find a single sign or clue anywhere that
said he was anything but the guy he showed me. Hell, he passed the dad test.
The only one who hadn’t been fooled was maybe James. He’d been wary of him all
along, and I’d ignored it, passing it off as jealousy. I wished I could talk to
him now, ask him what he’d seen that I hadn’t.

It
was two in the morning and I had no clue what part of the country James was in,
or if he was even in this country, but on the small chance that he might answer
and be able to provide some insight that would help me, I sat up and reached
for my phone on the nightstand and dialed his number. It rang until his
voicemail picked up. At the cue, I left my message.

“Hey,
it’s Nora. I don’t know what time it is where you’re at, or if you’ll get this
anytime soon, but if you do, could you call me back as soon as you can.” I
hoped he wouldn’t be able to hear the tremors in my voice on the recording. “I
just– Spencer’s being held for questioning right now. I don’t know if Monroe
has kept you updated since you left, but they’re pretty sure they’ve got the
guy and I . . . I just want to know how I could have missed it.” My voice broke
at the end and I drew in a shaky breath.

“So,
uh, if you could call me back . . . I hope you’re safe,” I added and then ended
the call and tossed my phone down on the mattress, falling back onto my pillow.

Every
time I closed my eyes after that, I saw the same thing; Shaw hovering over me
as he tried to kill me. There were no fluffy sheep around to count, and sleep
evaded me. After a while I gave up chasing it, and climbed out of bed. It was
nearly four. I slid my feet into my fuzzy slippers and went straight to the
coffee pot, under no illusion that I would be able to make it through this day
with anything less than a constant caffeine drip.

While
the coffee brewed, I went through the house flipping on all the lights. This
morning, I found the dark unbearable. There was also a chill in the air that I
couldn’t shake, even though the thermostat remained on seventy-two. The heat of
the cup felt good in my hands as I sipped my coffee, letting the hot, rich brew
warm its way down into my belly. What I really needed was a hot shower.

I
took the coffee with me into the bathroom. Glancing at the large bath opposite
the shower I thought about how long it had been since I’d enjoyed a bubble
bath. I had plenty of time this morning and couldn’t resist filling the old tub
with hot water and vanilla bubbles.

My
entire body sighed with relief, even as I winced slightly at the near-scalding
heat, when I slowly lowered myself into the tub. Once my body had adjusted, I
tipped my head back and let my eyes close for just a minute.

I
reached for my coffee on the counter, unable to avoid dripping water and
bubbles on the floor as I drank from the cup. More water splashed over the side
when I leaned further over the edge and started up the music player on my
phone. Then I sank back into the bubbles and once again allowed my eyes to shut
while Colbie Callait’s soft voice filled the bathroom.

The
next time my eyes opened, it was because someone was pounding on my front door.
I didn’t know how long I’d been out, but the water had cooled significantly. I
rose quickly from the tub, dripping even more on the floor, but not taking the
time to clean it up before I hurriedly threw on my robe and went to see who was
at my door this early.

I
looked through the windows onto the porch and there was one second where I
wanted to pretend I wasn’t home, before I disarmed the alarm and pulled the
front door open. “Good morning, Officer Nielson.”

“Nora,
you know you can call me Ben.”

“Do
you have news?” I was anxious and fearful all in one breath.

“I’m
afraid I do.” His face took on a grim appearance and I held my breath, waiting
for him to break it to me, fearing the worst. “We had to cut Spencer Shaw loose
this morning.”

“Oh,”
I let out my breath, and the tiniest bit of hope sparked to life inside my
chest. “He’s not the guy?” As much as I wanted him caught, I didn’t want it to
be Shaw. Before the relief that he was innocent could really settle in, Ben
dashed all that hope.

“I
wish I could say that’s why we let him go, but I’m certain it’s him.” I could
see he was having a hard time holding back his frustration. “He had pictures of
them in his hotel room, Nora. He had pictures of Emily.”

My
heart plummeted. “Then why was he released?”

Ben
grunted, “Hell if I know. It was enough we could have held onto him another
twenty-four hours. It would have given us time to collect more evidence, but
Monroe doesn’t let us lowly boys in blue in on
his
investigation.” I
detected more than just a little bitterness. “All he would say is that there
wasn’t enough to keep him. Everything is circumstantial, and then he actually
had the gall to say if we were doing our jobs better, maybe they’d have enough
evidence to bring up charges. I’m telling you, since the FBI waltzed in and
took over the case, they haven’t done a damn thing besides spew psychology
mumbo-jumbo, and make excuses for why they haven’t caught this guy yet. But
we’re
the incompetent ones,” he snorted, and then seemed to realize he was letting
himself get worked up.

He
looked away, pulling it together, but I could still see the tightness in his
jaw and the way his hands clenched. He brought his gaze back to mine, letting
out a heavy breath. “If Shaw walks it will be because these clowns in suits
have their heads so far up their own asses they can’t build the damn case we
need. I’m telling you Nora, everything is pointing to this guy, which is why I
had to come over and give you the heads up. I wasn’t sure if Parker would call
you or not, and I don’t know if Shaw will try to make contact with you or get
the hell out of town because he knows we’re onto him, but just be careful. It’s
bad enough that I couldn’t protect Emily from this guy, but she’d never forgive
me if I let something happen to you too.”

I
promised Ben I would stay alert and cautious and call him right away if Shaw
made an appearance. He said he’d try to see to it that a patrol car swung by
here and the shop regularly, but wasn’t sure that he could make it happen. I
thanked him for everything he’d done and was trying to do to and then watched
him climb into his patrol car before heading into the kitchen to start my
breakfast.

The
sun had yet to make its appearance for the day when I had to leave for work. I
secured the house with the alarm and then forced myself to brave the day ahead.
Clint was walking Shep past my house when I pulled out of the drive. I stopped
and rolled down my window when they approached the driver’s side.

“Morning,
Nora.”

“Morning,
guys.” Shep put his paws on my door and tried to stick his head in my window. I
rubbed behind his ears and he nuzzled me enthusiastically. I let out a soft
chuckle and then Clint pulled him back, with a “down boy.”

“I
heard on the news this morning that the FBI guys have a solid suspect.”

“Oh,”
I hadn’t turned on the news this morning, but it only confirmed everything Ben
had said. “I didn’t know they were sharing that with the public, but yeah, it
seems as if they might finally be catching a break.” I couldn’t bring myself to
sound positive about it, even though for months I’d been praying for this case
to get solved.

“Do
you know who the suspect is?”

“Sorry,
I’m not sure if I’m supposed to say or not,” I apologized, but really I just
wasn’t ready to condemn Spencer in everyone else’s eyes yet. If he was guilty,
then his damnation would come soon enough.

“Right,”
he nodded. “Well, I hope they’ve got the right guy.” He rested his hand against
the roof of my car. “I think everyone will breathe a little easier once he’s
off the streets.” He turned his head to look out at the neighborhood. When his
gaze returned to me again, his expression was solemn.  “And then maybe they can
finally bring Emily home,” he said softly.

“I
hope so,” I muttered, almost afraid to voice the hope, because I was terrified
that if they brought her home, it would only be so that we could bury her. I
blinked back a few tears, and then tried to steady myself with my breathing.

“I
better let you get on with your morning.” Clint stepped back from the car.
“Have a good day, Nora.”

“You
too, guys.” I gave a wave as I pulled away and then rolled up my window.

Reggie
had picked up our order from Sweet Indulgence this morning and was already
prepping opening when I got to Urban Grind. I walked in and he halted what he
was doing, and by the time I had the door re-locked he was standing in front of
me, examining me closely.

“You
look like shit, girl. Come here.” He didn’t even give me a choice, he pulled me
into a hug and didn’t let go. I relaxed and let my head rest against his chest.

“Ben
stopped by to see me this morning,” I tried to tell him, but my words came out
muffled because my face was pressed to his chest. He pulled back and peered
down at me.