Red Rock Rises; Sexy Romantic Suspense; Book 1: The Red Rock Series (The Red Rock Seies) (31 page)

“You’re right, Tomas. But some fuckers deserve barrio justice. The person who wanted to kill the woman who saved my life is at the top of the list.”

Chapter 34

Jesse stayed in the shower until the water ran cold. The image of the man who attacked her was oppressive. The idea of him masturbating in her closet sickened her. But that wasn’t the reason she stood shivering in the cold water. Rather, it was because Dameon was several rooms away but the distance between them was so great, he could have been in a different country. When he ordered her into his truck and gave her the option of coming home with him, she’d hoped that he wanted her as much as she wanted him. But he’d deposited her in his
guest
room as though he was a hotel bellman showing her to her quarters. Except that hotel bellmen weren’t hard, distant and obviously angry with her.

At that moment Jesse knew what she had to do. Walking away from Dameon would be the hardest thing she had ever done. But when she did, she would walk away with dignity. He may be through talking to her but she had things she needed to say to him. It wouldn’t be easy. It would take every ounce of courage she had to face him and apologize for what she had done. She opened her suitcase and took out the silky lounging outfit she wore the first night he kissed her. She shrugged it on and gave her reflection a sad smile. As long as it would be the last time she saw him, she may as well look good.

Dameon clicked off the phone, allowing his fury with Raoul to flourish. They both knew that someone in either Raoul’s entourage or his uncle’s had ordered the hit on Jesse. By God, by tomorrow Dameon would know who it was and would take him down hard. He forced himself to revel in that thought rather than deal with the real reason for his angst. Jesse was right here in his home—a hundred feet away. What had he been thinking? Why hadn’t he taken her to the hotel? Or better yet, had Rocky take her there? Christ, if she seemed vulnerable, that was nothing compared to what he felt when he was next to her. When he heard the soft knock on his door, he closed his eyes and girded himself. He could handle the anger he felt toward Jesse. It had sustained him for the past ten days. He just couldn’t handle Jesse.

“May I come in?”

The sight of her was a physical blow. It hit him in his gut then went straight to his cock. Goddamn her. She
would
wear those pants. And that damnable top did a piss poor job of containing her breasts. But it was her fragrance that truly did him in. He could smell her from across the room. He took a hefty swallow of Jameson’s and gave a faux-detached shrug.

“Looks like you’re already in.”

Jesse forced herself to stay calm, not be put off by his chilly response. He was glaring at her through narrowed eyes, a hard frown lining his brow. She swallowed her nervousness and found her voice—barely.

“Can we talk?”

He shook his head. “I don’t have anything to say, Jesse, that I haven’t already said. We can talk tomorrow—at the station.”

Jesse hesitated then took a deep breath. Ignoring his rebuff, she walked into the room and closed the door behind herself. She saw that he was drinking whisky. Stilling her pounding heart, she walked over to the bar and poured herself a glass. The fiery liquid burning her throat gave her courage, reminding her why she came. It was difficult enough to ignore his anger. It sliced like a knife through her overwrought nerves. It was more difficult to ignore
him
. He was incredibly handsome. His dark hair was tousled as though he’d been running his hands through it. His eyes were stormy blue, a darkening sky before the lightning strikes. As always it was his powerful aura that captured her. Mixed with anger it radiated off of him threatening to turn her resolve to mush. Taking a large swallow of the steadying liquid, she moved across the room and sat in the chair facing him.

“I’m sorry, Dameon, so very sorry.”

She ignored his tightening jaw and cleared her throat, forcing herself to speak.

“You… I know you don’t want to hear what I have to say and I don’t blame you. Dameon, nothing I can say will excuse the hurt I’ve caused. There’s no reason good enough for hurting you, and I know that. But I can’t walk away until I’ve at least tried to explain.”

Dameon shook his head. His frown deepened.

“There’s nothing to explain, Jesse. This isn’t necessary or useful.”

Again she could have been swamped by his cold disdain. Fortunately it galvanized her.

“Perhaps not for
you
. But, please, allow me to indulge myself. I have spent the last ten days agonizing over what I did. Trying to understand why I did things that were the direct opposite of what I wanted to do. I needed to know why I pushed you away, when I wanted more than anything for you to hold me.”

When he held up his hand to stop her, she shook her head. If she couldn’t make him understand, perhaps she could make herself.

“At first, I just felt horrible. I crucified myself. I tried to accept that this was the way I was likely to be for the rest of my life. Holding happiness in my hands then doing everything I could to throw it away. But I couldn’t accept that. As hard as it was I forced myself to look at the past in a way I hadn’t before, to try to understand why I’m the way I am.

“I forced myself to relive the shame of how I left the Army. I made a terrible mistake, Dameon. Not leaving the Army—that was the right decision. My father told you what happened. What Elliott did. But what I did was worse, because it was just inexcusably stupid and self-destructive. I knew he was a pig. We all laughed at him behind his back. Even knowing that, I went to his suite. I thought I could handle him, like I handled everything.

“Part of the mission plan was for me to do a striptease for the guy we were after. He was a disgusting voyeur. We planned to use his fetish against him. After the mission I went with Elliott, my superior officer, to his suite. Elliott told me then he’d been with the other guy and together they watched me strip. Having our target watch me was part of the mission plan. Having my commanding officer leering at me, seeing me naked, was repulsive… ugly. I felt cheap, violated.

“Elliott said how much he’d enjoyed it. That I’d proved what he already knew. That I was a cock-tease. He said that he planned to give me what I really wanted and needed. To be fucked by a man who knew how to handle sluts.

“When he came at me, I could have hit him in the groin or the gut… but, no, I hit him in the face.”

Jesse was no longer looking at Dameon. She was absorbed in her sordid tale. She felt him beside her. Incongruous as it was, his presence gave her courage.

“I could have stayed and fought him in court. That would have been the honorable, principled thing to do. But I couldn’t face the public spectacle. I let my sense of privacy selfishly take precedence. I was a coward, Dameon. I knew I was a lot of not-so-good things, but I’d never been a coward. The guilt tore at me. Thank God there was Trey. He needed me and I needed him. He begged me to come and get him. I knew I had to make a choice. Fight Elliott, or fight for Trey. I chose Trey. I will
never
regret that choice. Just as I will never forgive myself for putting myself in a position to be shamed by Elliott.”

She paused and forced herself to look at Dameon, to see his reaction. He’d turned his head but she could see his rigid jaw, the deep crease in his cheek. Jesse forced herself to continue.

“When I moved here and was with Trey, I realized that for the first time for as long as I could remember, I was happy. I was starting my business. I even had a client. I was with Trey more than I’d ever been. Even his arrest was somehow strangely positive. For Trey and for me. Because of you.”

Jesse refused to let his silence stop her. She moved unchecked into even more dangerous territory.

“When you kissed me that first time, Dameon, I’d never felt like that in my life. Ever. I’d never responded to anyone the way I responded to you. I’ve only been with a few men and never for more than one night. I knew there was passion in me. But the men I was with barely affected me. It was disappointing. I really
can
bring myself to orgasm better than any of them could.”

In the face of his heavy silence, she made herself continue.

“The first time you kissed me and touched me? You were like a laser beam, Dameon. You went straight to the core of my being. And then… what you did, what
I
did, over the fucking phone….”

Startled at the sensations flooding her, she closed her eyes at the erotic memory. When she opened them, she saw Dameon’s brow twitch, his hands clench. She continued. She needed him to understand what he had done to her.

“As exciting as it was, it scared me, frightened me, Dameon. I was afraid of the things I was feeling for you. They terrified me.
You
terrified me. I didn’t think it was possible for me to have a relationship with someone like you. I didn’t know if I could give in to someone as powerful as you.”

She sighed and appealed to him.

“When Garrett came at me, I went into a tailspin. I’m not making excuses. I’m really not. I’m just trying to tell you what happened, what was going on inside of me, however irrational. I went into a mode where I’d been before. I did what I’ve done all my life. Whenever I was threatened I knew I had to handle it myself because I… I didn’t trust anyone else to handle it for me. You were right about that. I didn’t trust my father, or Eric—or you.”

Jesse swallowed past the lump in her throat. Fighting a sob, she choked out the painful words.

“I never felt that I could trust anyone. I couldn’t trust my father to come home when I needed him. I obviously couldn’t trust Garrett. I couldn’t trust myself with the baby. And… I didn’t trust you.”

She looked down. Tears burned the backs of her eyelids and her throat ached.

“And, Dameon, I am so very, very sorry.”

He was quiet, frowning, staring at a spot on the floor. When it was obvious that he wasn’t going to answer her, she rose and walked to the door. She stopped with her hand on the knob. Seeing the jumble of emotions playing across his face she decided that while she had been a coward in the past, she wouldn’t leave like this.

Her voice surprised her. It was strong, controlled.

“Dameon.”

He closed his eyes for a moment then untangled himself from his chair. He rose and faced her.

“Yes?”

She swallowed hard, staring at him from across the room. He was gorgeous. Dark, unbelievably handsome. But also stern, dangerous.

She finally conjured up enough spit in her mouth to ask, “How many?”

His voice was gruff.

“How many what?”

With her heart in her throat, Jesse refused to back down.

“You said when you made love to me you’d give me more orgasms than I could count.”

He raised an eyebrow, then gave a dispassionate shrug.

“So I did.”

She swallowed again.

“If you did that? Tonight? How many would it be?”

His frown darkened. “Tonight?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

“A number?”

Fighting to breathe she murmured, “Yes.”

His voice was curt, hard.

“Minimum, six.”

Jesse shuttered her eyes, refusing to let her tears fall. She gave him a brave smile.

“It’s getting late. Maybe we should get started.”

He nodded, his expression was unreadable.

“Perhaps we should. Come here, Jesse.”

Chapter 35

Dameon motioned to her to come across the room pointing to a place in front of him.

Her legs were shaking but she managed to walk toward him. His expression was cool, hard, implacable. He locked her in his gaze as powerfully as if he held her in his arms.

“Over here, right there.”

He raked his eyes over her body and came to rest on her breasts.

“Take off your clothes, Jesse.”

Jesse trembled and bit down on her bottom lip.

He jerked his head at her camisole. “Take it off.”

Jesse hesitated then reached for the hem of her camisole and pulled it over her head. Clutching it in her hands, she pressed the silky material against her bare chest. She swallowed gazing up at him not able to hide her anxiety.

He flicked his finger. “Drop it. Let it go.”

Jesse closed her eyes and let the flimsy silk flutter to the floor.

“Cup your breasts.”

She faltered then did as he said. Dameon nodded when she lifted the heavy globes in her hands and held them toward him.

“Yeah, like that. Present them to me.”

He narrowed his eyes, studying her. To her shock he took out his cell phone. She covered her breasts protectively but his frown stopped her. He waited until she held them up to him again.

Glancing down at his phone, he pulled up a picture. He examined it then looked at her breasts, his eyes wide with wonder.

“I didn’t think anything could be more beautiful. I’ve looked at this picture so many times, it’s embedded in my brain. I thought I knew every nuance—every inch of your breasts, of your amazing nipples. How rosy and soft they are. How the more I talked to you, they darkened, beaded up. Like they are now.” He looked down at the picture then back at her. “I didn’t think they could be more beautiful. But they are.”

Jesse felt the tears slipping down her face. She didn’t try to stop them.

Dameon moved closer.

“You said you wanted me to hold you? How would you like me to hold you?”

She shook her head. “I… I don’t know.”

“I
will
hold you, Jesse. But first, show me what you did when I was making love to you on the telephone. I told you to tug on your nipples, to make them hard. Do that for me, now.”

She tentatively rubbed her tender nipples. They felt swollen, sensitive.

“Yeah, just like that, Jesse.”

A shock of sensation hit her when her nipples hardened in her fingers.

“Oh my god!” She looked up at him imploringly. “Now will you….” Jesse’s voice trailed away. Her need was so strong that she couldn’t find the words.

“Will I what? Will I suck on them? Run my tongue around those beautiful hard nubs? Yeah, baby I will. Come closer.”