Chapter 8
Phillip Tomlinson
Monday: 1:35
P.M
.
While the others had taken their breaks to grab snacks and visit the restroom, Phillip retreated in to his bedroom to reflect on the morning's events. Even though a couple of people were talking, he felt a heaviness floating around The Round Table during their first official session. Before letting the weight dishearten him, Phillip decided to go to his Father in heaven for strength and guidance.
Phillip knelt down beside his bed to say a quick prayer. “Dear Father in heaven, I come to you this afternoon to first thank you for this opportunity to impart into the lives of these couples in hopes to assist in saving their marriages. I know you don't put more on us than we can bear, so I trust in you, knowing this is a task you feel I am worthy of accomplishing.
“Lord, I come to you in prayer, knowing when to seek guidance and not work within my own strength and minimal knowledge, which pales in comparison to your infinite wisdom. With that being said, Lord, I need your guidance right now on how I can break through the ice for some of these people. I know they're hurting, and I know they're seeking wisdom and advice from me. I pray you'll give me the right words to help soothe their brokenness.
“I trust in you, Lord. You've never led me astray, and I expect positive results for this retreat and for each of these couples. I thank you in advance for the miracles I am sure you will perform here on this lake. Just as you performed the miracle for me just a short time ago, giving me the gift of eternal life.
“I thank and praise you, Lord, right here and now. In Jesus' name, amen.”
Phillip stood with a renewed strength he hadn't felt just moments before the prayer. It still amazed him how the presence of God, and having an undying trust in the Lord, gave him an unexplainable kind of spiritual euphoria. He took a deep breath and stretched the full length of his body, almost touching the ceiling of his quaint cabin bedroom.
Shelby entered after a brief tap on the door. “Hey.”
Phillip turned to face her, and with a mere step toward her, he pulled Shelby into his arms. Holding her tight, he gave her a kiss. Even after all their years of being married, the flame of love was still burning bright between them. Even through all the trials and tribulations he'd put her through, they were still as much in love as they had been when they met in college.
Shelby gave in to the kiss more than willingly, afterward saying, “What in the world was that for?”
“Do I really need a reason to kiss my wife?” Phillip asked.
“No, you don't. I just wasn't expecting it, that's all.” Then she eyed him. “What's up? Were you having your own little personal revival in here?” She cupped his cheeks with the palm of her hands.
“You could say that. I had to come in here and talk to my Father above for a few minutes. I felt heaviness in the room and in my heart during that first session. I just wish they'd all loosen up some. I wanted to nip it before I let it get to me any more.”
“I think the prayer worked. I did notice a slight furrow of your eyebrows earlier, and it's gone now,” Shelby said. “I felt that heaviness also. I stepped outside for a little fresh air and said a little prayer of my own, for all of us. Hopefully our combined prayers will affect the group in a positive way.”
“Whew, girl, how did I luck up and find you?” Phillip asked. “You are truly a godsend.”
“It was all in God's time and planning, P.T.,” Shelby said.
P.T. had been Phillip's nickname from college and back in the days when he was the star of the football team. It was an ongoing joke between them whenever she called Phillip by the nickname, because Shelby hadn't met Phillip as âP.T.' and knew nothing about his football star status. By the time she'd met him, he wasn't playing anymore due to a football injury.
It wasn't just the football fans that called Phillip by his nickname. Many of Phillip's many women, or conquests as he usually referred to them, had also called him P.T. By the time Phillip had met Shelby, his days of running women had decreased to a slow crawl. One, because he was a senior about to graduate, and two, because most of the upper-class females knew about his reputation of being a ladies man. His two-timing of women had gotten him into more trouble than he cared to remember.
Luckily, Phillip had met Shelby in the beginning of her freshman yearâhis senior year. He had been captivated. She was beautiful, but her beauty wasn't the thing that captivated him the most. It was the fact that Shelby hadn't swooned over him like almost every girl he'd come in contact with.
And after getting to talk to her and know her, Phillip found she had inner beauty and was also intelligent. These qualities brought even more of an appeal to him. And after only a few short weeks of getting to know Shelby, Phillip found that for the first time in his life, P.T. was truly in love. This love made him leave his two timing ways and want to actually settle down.
“Are you trying to be funny by calling me P.T.? It doesn't even sound right coming from you,” Phillip said.
“It doesn't feel right saying it either,” Shelby agreed.
Phillip looked at his watch. It was already one forty-six. The ten-minute break was up.
“Come on. Let's head back to The Round Table. I don't want to keep the couples waiting.”
Phillip and Shelby returned to the table, and Phillip was pleased to see everyone assembled and ready to continue the next session.
“We all find ourselves at this table for different reasons. Yet there are many things we have in common, like the fact that we all fell in love and decided to get married. When you first got married you probably thought you'd found your soul mate, and we could only imagine a life filled with new beginnings and positive prospects. No one gets married thinking they'll one day want to separate and/or get divorced. Sure we've heard of couples who've had problems in their marriages and didn't stick it out until death parted them.
“I'm sure most of you have friends, cousins, an aunt or an uncle, or maybe even parents whose marriages ended in divorce. Sadly, just as marriages happen, so do divorces. My hope is that throughout this retreat, you'll be able to remember more of those fond moments in the beginning of your marriages and be able to weigh the costs.”
Phillip looked around the table, making eye contact with each person. “I have a question for you. How many of you had some counseling before you got married?”
Nina and George raised their hands. The other two couples, Travis and Beryl Highgate and Xavier and Charlotte Knight did not.
“I ask this question mainly out of curiosity. I believe premarital counseling is an important and vital thing for marriage. My wife and I didn't have counseling before we got married either, and I wish we had. As you can see, marriage counseling does not guarantee that there will not be any problems. But I'm sure George and Nina can attest to the value of the premarital counseling they received,” Phillip said.
George nodded his head. “Except for death and taxes, nothing else is certain. I will say the weeks of premarital counseling my wife and I received were very valuable. But without a crystal ball, no one knows what can and will happen in the future.
“Many of those basic teachings have helped my wife and me. But sometimes you need more. Sometimes life can throw you curve balls you never expected,” George said.
Nina tapped her fingernails on the table, lightly at first, then gradually louder, as if perturbed by her husband's statements.
George took a deep breath. “Okay, let me stop before I start preaching in here.”
Nina's tapping abruptly stopped.
Phillip held so much hope for the couples, and knew some of them were hanging on his every word, looking for sparks of hope that might help their marriage. But he also knew that in the end the decision to try to make their marriages work would be up to them. And he was going to try his best to give them all the reasons and as many angles as possible to try to make sure they thought about it multiple times before they decided to forever call it quits.
Phillip smiled at each of them with hope. “There are so many reasons marriages deteriorate. In general, most marriages are hit in one of three places: the pocket, the bedroom, or our spiritual walk. And sadly, some marriages are hit in two or all three of those areas.
“If you look at your own marriage, you should be able to pinpoint which area it has been hit. When the pocket is hitâin other words your financesâit can be very stressful; causing undue stress and tension between you and your spouse,” Phillip said.
Phillip made sincere eye contact with the couples and noticed the uncomfortable squirming Beryl was making in her seat. He also saw the downward cast of Travis's eyes.
Phillip wanted to make a personal connection with each person, making sure they knew without a shadow of doubt he was there to help them and hopefully to get further insight on the specific problems each couple was having.
Phillip continued. “And likewise, when you're hit in the bedroom, this will definitely cause emotional and physical stress.”
For the first time since she'd been at the cabin, Phillip watched as Charlotte nodded her head and made full eye contact with her husband. This time Xavier was the one to look away with guilt.
“The next way your marriage can be hit is via Satan. Being the serpent he is, he'll try to shake a marriage by preventing spiritual growth or making one question their spiritual soundness,” Phillip said.
George clasped his hand together tightly while closing his eyes and taking a deep cleansing breath. Nina sat ridged in her seat.
Phillip felt he was a pretty good judge of character, and this upcoming week would prove whether his feelings were warranted or not. He stood picking up a dry erase marker. “Love misunderstandings,” he said, then wrote the two words on the board. “What do you think this means?” He pointed to the words he'd written.
Travis spoke up. “I think it means, not understanding how much a person loves you.”
Phillip nodded his head and wrote Travis's answer on the board in smaller letters with a green marker.
“I'd say in the sense of communication,” George said.
“That's what I was gonna say. If there's a problem with communication, it can cause a big misunderstanding,” Beryl said as she eyed her husband.
Phillip noticed the exchange but didn't comment on it. Instead, he wrote down the statement about communication causing misunderstandings.
“What about real love misunderstandings?” Xavier said. “I mean the misunderstandings in the bedroom. Because I always thought that once a man and woman were married, they belonged to each other. I mean, it shouldn't be like you are dating and hoping your wife will ... well, you know,” Xavier stammered. “Like you'll have to hope your wife will perform her wifely duties.”
Again Phillip nodded his head with a straight face, glad to have more interaction than he'd had in the earlier session. “Misunderstandings in the bedroom, huh?” Phillip nodded to Xavier for confirmation. “Would anyone else like to add anything?”
This time Charlotte, Xavier's wife, replied. “What about misunderstandings about the vows you take when you get married, honoring your wife and forsaking all others?”
Charlotte reverted to ignoring her husband and kept her eyes square on Phillip. Everyone in the room knew the comment had been meant specifically for Xavier.
Phillip saw Xavier's upper body stiffen and his jaws clinch. Phillip could tell by the quick response made by Charlotte that this hadn't been the first time the couple had gone back and forth with each other, and it probably wouldn't be the last.
Nina said, “If you ask me, almost any and everything can be a misunderstanding depending on what it is. Sometimes a person can take the simplest of things and blow them all out of proportion.”
This time it was George who exhaled a deep breath and shook his head. He shifted his body, fully facing his wife. “Nina, there aren't that many misunderstandings in the world. Tell the truth, and shame the devil.”
Phillip spoke up. “Okay, okay. Let me make sure I've got everything jotted down.” He wanted to stop any further escalation of George's comments to his wife before they got out of hand.
He wrote what each person said on the board.
“I'd like to add something,” Shelby said. “Sometimes misunderstandings arise when a wife or a husband hides something from their spouse thinking this will protect the other person, only to find out their secrets could actually harm the person.” She squeezed Phillip's arm and smiled.
Phillip knew his wife hadn't made the comment to hurt him or to remind him of the mistakes he made in the pastâmistakes which caused them to come to Lake Turner during the time of their own marital turmoil.
No, Shelby wasn't the type to put salt in an old wound. She was just trying to impart her own words of wisdom. He also thought she brought up the comment just in case someone in the room was hiding something from their spouse; especially if they were thinking what their spouse didn't know wouldn't hurt them.