Redemption: Reckless Desires (Blue Moon Saloon Book 3) (21 page)

Mmm,
her inner bear rumbled, already thinking of all the fun she could have with her mate once he came back to bed. She’d start by nuzzling him — and God, was Soren a champion nuzzler — then move on from there.

A beautiful morning,
she said to her mate.

When Soren nodded quietly, his cheeks glowed with more than just the golden dawn light. He didn’t say much — Soren never did — but he held up the baby’s hands and feet, going over each tiny digit as if it was a miracle of its own. He murmured something too low to hear and kissed the top of the baby’s head, then laid him in the masterpiece of a crib he’d spent hours making in the woodshop. Soren had fussed over every detail of it, insisting the baby deserved the best. He stood there for a long time, adjusting the blanket, the pillow, and a half-dozen unnecessary things. Then he climbed back in the bed and curled around her.

“Good morning,” he rumbled, right in her ear.

She rolled and hooked her leg around his, grinning up at him. “Yes, it is, my love. Yes, it is.”

* * *

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Redemption!
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Todd returns…

Anna Boone won’t give up the search for her cousin, Sarah, who everyone assumes dead. And she refuses to give up on the wounded bear found next to the ashes of her cousin’s house. There’s something deep in his eyes and in his soul she just can’t resist. Something special. Something…human, almost. When her search for the truth leads her to Arizona, Anna finds more than she ever bargained for — and unwittingly leads a deadly foe to those she loves most.

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Salvation
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The full moon was obscured by midnight clouds drifting silently across the sky. The pines were still as the bear lumbered beneath them, favoring his right leg. He paused to sniff the air. It was dry — painfully dry — and carried a thousand unfamiliar scents. The fragrance of hardy wildflowers danced in the high-altitude desert air. The fresh scent of ponderosa and sycamore lay under the rest like a carpet, and behind it all was a whiff of burned-out brush fire that made his hackles rise. It was a warm night — warm, silent, and somehow foreboding, given the way the shadows mimicked his every move.

Where are you going?
they seemed to taunt him.
Why?

Damned if he knew. He was many hungry months and hundreds of miles away from the ashes of home. Tired, too — bone tired. Yet the stars kept pulling him onward, whispering into his mind.

You’re nearly there. Nearly there.

Nearly where?

Early on in his long march south, he had roared the question into the night. Now, he just chuffed and walked on, wondering how much of his mind he’d lost from remaining in bear form for too long. Of course, staying human was just as dangerous; every shifter needed to satisfy both sides of his soul. But Todd wasn’t sure what was left of his soul. He’d never felt emptier or more alone.

Nearly there,
the stars promised.

Were the stars playing games with him or leading him to salvation? The spirits of his ancestors were all concentrated in Ursa Major, the Great Bear, twinkling at him from between the interlocking pine boughs overhead. They wouldn’t lie, would they?

He wandered onward as he had for more nights than he could remember, swinging his head left and right to check his surroundings. That was a new habit he’d developed since the hearing had been pounded out of him in an attack that had nearly cost him his life. Sometimes, he’d whip his head around imagining the snap of a twig or the hoot of an owl, but most of the time, his ears registered nothing but a quiet buzz.

He swiped an angry paw at his left ear. If only he could chase away the sound the way he could shoo away a bee. It was growing worse now — a clanging ring that wouldn’t stop, as if he’d lingered too long and too close to the noontime call of church bells and had gone deaf from that instead of from the beating of bats and bricks.

He gritted his teeth, fighting the memories away. He would have been better off dying as he’d been destined to. Death would have been fine because he had fought for a worthy cause. For duty, for honor, for love. What more could a bear desire? The pain didn’t matter; only the accomplishment did.

But instead of fading away and reaching for the light that had called to him from heaven, he’d been fool enough to listen to a voice that had pulled him back from the edge.

Stay with me. Don’t die. Not now. Not like this.

If it hadn’t been the sweetest, fairest voice he’d ever heard, he might have ignored it and moved on to join his ancestors among the stars.

Think of mountain meadows in spring,
the kind, feminine voice had said.
Think of a clear, cool summer creek. Think of berries growing thick in the fall.

And damn it, he’d pictured one beautiful season after another and gotten greedy for life all over again.

Just think of all the things you’ll live to enjoy again. Just stay with me…

The voice had tricked him, because she’d left out a few important things. Like the crushing guilt of surviving a night most of his clanmates had fallen victim to. The heavy silence in his ears, the gnawing ache in his leg. The feeling of being alone. Why live life as a wreck of a bear, a wreck of a man?

He stopped and shook his fur so hard his teeth hurt, then walked on. Maybe if he ever found whatever it was that pulled him like a magnet, he could truly live again.

The buzz in his ears rose and fell. It warbled and varied in pitch like…like a sonorous wolf howl. That much, he could sometimes tell — more from tiny movements in the air than actual sound. The fur on the centerline of his back stood up as he stopped in his tracks and eyed a ridge to the north. Wolves?

There were good wolves and bad wolves, and not even a big, bad grizzly was safe from a pack of the latter, as he’d learned the hard way one fateful night. A night he’d laid it all on the line to protect his cousin’s destined mate just as he’d promised to. He would do it all over again, too, because bears knew all about duty and honor and respect for the power of love. Even knowing he’d come out of it a wreck of a man, he’d do it all over again. He had no regrets.

Except one. One terrible regret that tainted his honor and haunted his soul.

He sniffed until he spotted the wolves howling on the ridge. Two of them sitting side by side, their noses pointed at the moon.

Why wolves howled, he had no clue, but he’d never been more tempted to try it than in the bleakness of the past few months.

Then they broke off — he could tell, because the ringing in his ears went monotone again — and snapped their muzzles in his direction. A moment later, they came stalking down the slope, right at him.

He watched and waited, sniffing the air closely as they loped up then circled him, keeping their noses high and their shoulders low, ready to flee. The dark-haired she-wolf circled him clockwise while the gold-hued male paced the other way, growling quietly the whole time. He could tell from the angle of the wolf’s jaw, from the tingle in his ears. He let a warning rumble build in his own throat in reply.

Shifters. Werewolves. Every nerve in his body went on high alert.

Each time the wolves’ paths crossed, they brushed along against each other in long, deliberate strokes that showed them to be lovers. Mates.

Todd growled low and long in warning. He had no desire to make trouble for a pair of destined mates. Let them live and love and be happy. Him, he was just passing through.

The she-wolf stopped suddenly and cocked her head at him, staring deep into his eyes with a startled look. Her jaw fell open, and a whisper tickled the edge of his mind.

Todd?

How did she know his name? Who was she? How could her thoughts reach into his mind? Only closely related shifters or packmates could do that, and she was a stranger.

Or was she?

The she-wolf’s gaze went from quizzical to joyous to mournful, all in the blink of an eye. Like she knew some terrible secret he was about to find out the hard way.

Todd, is it really you?

How to answer that? He wasn’t the same man — or bear — he used to be.

It’s me, Janna.

Before he could make any attempt at an answer, though, the wolves glanced left, just as a new scent reached his nose. He whipped around.

Bear,
the musky scent told him.

Big bear,
a heavy step vibrating through the ground said.

Alpha bear,
the animal’s tall, confident stance announced the second Todd spotted it stalking toward him. Every step the grizzly took claimed possession of the land, the air, the mountainside.

This is all mine,
the alpha’s countenance said.
How dare you step foot on my turf?

The wolves ran over and flanked the grizzly like a couple of sentries at their king’s side. Todd stood still, holding his breath. Why did the bear seem familiar? Why was his heart leaping in relief instead of pounding in preparation for a brawl?

The alpha bear took two steps forward and stretched to his full height, casting a shadow over Todd. He showed his teeth then tilted his head and finally chuffed.

Todd’s mind spun. He knew that sandy brown bear. He knew those brilliant blue eyes.

The air around the grizzly blurred as the beast became a man – a man who came out of his shift without so much as a shiver and fixed him straight in the eye. Slowly, the man dropped to a crouch. His lips moved, and even if Todd could hear, he would have missed the words. His mind was too busy processing a thousand impossible thoughts.

Soren? His cousin, Soren?

Todd?
Soren’s voice boomed into his mind.

It was the clearest, loudest sound he’d heard in a long, long time, even if it didn’t pass through his ears first.

Soren?

Soren nodded warily.
Jesus, man. Is it really you?

Todd nodded slowly, carefully. Soren was his best friend. His cousin. The heir to the alpha position in their home clan — a clan that had been decimated months ago.

It really was him. Soren, whom Todd had served loyally except for one bitter betrayal he would never forgive himself for. Soren would never forgive him either, when he found out.

What about Sarah?
Todd managed. Damn, even though he was shooting thoughts into his cousin’s mind, his voice was still shaky.

Soren nodded slowly.
She’s here. She made it, thanks to you. She’s my mate.

A thousand emotions hit Todd like a volley of arrows from an unexpected foe. Joy. Relief. Wonder. But steamrolling all that aside was shame — the deepest, most piercing arrow of them all, striking him in the corner of his heart that housed honor.

It took everything he had to keep his eyes level with Soren’s instead of dropping to the ground. He had to be honest with Soren and admit what had happened between him and Sarah nearly a year ago. A night when he’d been overcome by some crazy impulse and betrayed his cousin by sleeping with his mate.

Soren took a deep breath exactly when Todd did, and they both sent the same thought to each other at exactly the same time.

We have to talk, man. We have to talk.

Todd stared at his cousin. He knew what what he had to tell Soren. But what on earth did Soren have to tell him?

###

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