Redemption Song (28 page)

Alaina scoffed. “Really? And what could you possibly have to say for yourself after that?”

He shrugged, refusing to look up at her. Something in his normal egotistical expression changed a little. Grabbing hold of the tire iron, he began tightening the nuts, almost as if grateful for the distraction. His words came out as more of a mumble. “Just that I was totally out of line that night. I’d had a bad day, drank a little too much at the pier, and sort of took it out on you. It was a mistake.”

Alaina remained unmoving. “That’s an understatement.”

Cam fastened the remaining nuts and rose back up. “Look, Alaina, I’m sorry I blew your whole normal-teen-girl cover with that guy. I just didn’t realize your situation was some big secret, that’s all.”

“It wasn’t . . . it’s not a . . . secret,” Alaina said. I just hadn’t exactly gotten around to . . . telling him yet.”

“Because you didn’t want to scare him off.”

Alaina opened her mouth to object, but knew it’d only be a lie. Instead she decided to do the typical girl thing and turn it around on him. “Well, it’s not like I hadn’t had a history of that already. I’m sure you remember the time you ran like your pants were on fire when you found out what a relationship with me was going to entail. A teenager who lives a forty-year-olds life isn’t exactly the most desirable quality to attract guys.”

Cam tugged at a smile. “Trust me, Alaina, you’ve never had trouble attracting guys.”

Was that a compliment?
Alaina shook it off. “Yeah, well . . .” She wasn’t sure what else to say.

Cam leaned against the side of the car, arms crossed at his chest, and the sun casting a slight glow on his bare, tanned shoulders. “So what ever happened to beach boy?”

Alaina felt a slight twinge in the pit of her stomach. “Let’s just say things didn’t work out.”

“Well he’s an idiot. He doesn’t know what he gave up.”

“It wasn’t him who gave it up,” she replied. “The split was my idea.”

Cam’s brow raised and Alaina thought she almost saw a hint of guilt cross his features. “You know you don’t have to push guys away just because your life is complicated, right? I was stupid for taking off the way I did when we were together, but that was almost two years ago. We were younger then, you know? I was too busy trying to party it up. I just didn’t realize what I walking away from.”

“Yes, you did,” Alaina said. She sighed. “And now that I look back, I know it was for the best. I didn’t have a right to ask you to stay and be a part of that. Not that I wanted you out partying and acting like a total moron either . . .”

Cam laughed. “Don’t hold back. Please tell me how you really feel.”

“I’m serious, Cam,” Alaina continued. “What are you doing hanging around those jerks, drinking at the pier every night, failing your classes . . . It’s such a waste.”

Cam’s mouth turned up in a small grin. “You know, I’ve always liked that about you, Alaina. You know exactly what to say to make a guy rethink every decision he’s ever made.” He laughed. “No seriously, I’m just kind of relieved to know you still care about me enough to be disappointed. I guess disappointment is better than nothing. But if you must know, I slacked up on the partying quite a bit this past year. My mom found a bottle in my truck and cracked down hard core.”

“Really?” Alaina said.

“Yeah, really.” He smirked. “Practically threatened me with my life. Made me go to tutoring every day after school. I made A/B honor role for the first time in my life last semester of senior year.”

“Wow,” Alaina said. “Congratulations. Sounds like you’ve got things together.”

Cam grinned. Alaina was a little taken aback. Now that she really paid attention, he actually did look better. Happier. “I wouldn’t say I’m totally out of the woods yet, but yeah, I’m on the road to improvement. I got to graduate, at least,” he smiled, “cap and gown and everything.”

Alaina offered a faint smile. “I bet that was fun.”

Cam immediately picked up on the tightness to her tone. “Hey, look Alaina; everyone understood why you weren’t there. It really wasn’t that big of a deal, you know. Just a bunch of sitting and standing and lots of camera flashes.” Cam laughed. “Well, that and Skeeter Johnson went nude underneath his gown and mooned Principal Newman as he walked off of the stage.”

Alaina felt a laugh spring to her throat for the first time since she could remember. It felt great. “Wow,” she said, “maybe I don’t regret missing it after all.”

Cam laughed with her. The tension between them seemed to relax a little and Cam shifted his stance against her car. “So what are you going to do about school? Do you have plans to come back, you know . . .”

Well, so much for the lightheartedness. His pause meant that he wondered if she had plans to go back to school after Ben died and was no longer racking up medical bills. She couldn’t bring herself to think about the answer to that question.

She just shrugged. “I . . . I don’t know what I’m going to do yet. I’m just taking it a day at a time.”

“How is he?” Cam’s voice was more serious than she’d ever heard it, and for the first time, contained a bit of compassion.

She sucked in a deep breath. “Not good.” She refused to break down and cry while stranded on the side of the road talking to the ex-boyfriend whom she’d sworn to loathe for all eternity. But he must have noticed her sudden shift because he stepped forward, said a hushed, “Come here,” wrapped his fingers in her hair and pulled her to his chest.

Surprisingly, Alaina didn’t push him away. Shirt or no shirt, his embrace was comforting and she missed the feeling of being held. Sensing her approval, he wrapped his other arm around the small of her back and pulled her in tighter. Her head fit comfortably in his shoulder and she allowed her eyes to shut, losing herself in the comfort of his strong arms.

But what was she doing? This was Cam for crying out loud! She was about to pull away when her phone went off in her apron pocket. She felt Cam sigh in her ear and he reluctantly let her go.

She pulled out her phone. It was Granny Mae. Never a good sign.

“Alaina, dear, it’s Mae.” Alaina could tell by her tone what her next sentence was going to be. “Now, I don’t want you to rush and have a wreck, but you should know that we’re on our way to the emergency room. Ben’s having a bad day.”

Alaina felt her gaze drop. This was the third trip in the past two months. Each time Alaina wondered if this was it. Would her little brother manage to come home with her again this time? The thought re-shattered the same piece of her heart over and over. “Okay, tell Ben to hold tight, I’m on my way.”

Alaina clicked her phone shut and turned for the driver’s side of the car, almost completely forgetting that Cam was still standing there, giving her a concerned gaze.

“I’m sorry,” she said brusquely. I’ve got to go. It’s Ben . . .” She glanced up and offered a civil smile. “Thanks for the help.”

He nodded. “Anytime.”

Alaina plopped down in the driver’s seat, thrust the key into the ignition, and turned it . . . but nothing happened.

She tried again, but heard nothing but a sputtering engine that refused to turn over. She slammed her fist against the wheel and felt a sudden loss of control. A frustrated cry escaped her mouth. It seemed that everything on her parent’s worn out car had decided to tear up recently. And she hadn’t had the money to fix any of it. “Not now!” What was she going to do?

The roaring engine pulled up in the street next to her and Cam’s voice called out, answering her question. “Come on, get in.”

She looked up to find the open window of the passenger side door to Cam’s single cab truck. He was leaning across the bench seat and pulling the latch.

Alaina rose from her car but didn’t move toward the truck. “What?” she asked, not sure if she’d heard him correctly.

“I said c’mon. By the sound of that engine, you’re not going anywhere in that lemon for a while. So get in. I’m giving you a ride to the hospital.”

Alaina took one last look at her parent’s old car and decided that Cam was right. Now was not the time for pride. She had to get to Ben, even if it meant taking a ride from
him
to get there. She reached into the car, grabbed her purse, and locked the doors. After making the jump into the jacked up truck, Alaina noticed that Cam had miraculously found a shirt since their awkward embrace.

She looked up to him and he met her eyes offering a slight smile. “Why are you being so nice to me?” she asked.

He reached over, gave her shoulder a light squeeze, and then pulled the gear shifter to drive.

“Let’s just say I’m doing what I should have done a long time ago.”

Alaina

Alaina’s door was already slightly open as Cam slung the growling truck into a tight parking space in the lot of the Thomas Hospital emergency parking. Without saying a word, Alaina jumped from the bench seat to the ground and took off for the electronic sliding doors at the entrance, with Cam trailing her heels.

When they got inside, Alaina bolted straight for the check-in desk. She kindly—attempting to keep the urgency out of her tone—told the receptionist who she was there for. While the woman clicked away on the mouse controlling the computer screen in front of her, Alaina turned to Cam.

“You didn’t have to come in. You could have just dropped me off.”

He gave her a slight shrug. “I know.”

“Right this way, ma’am,” the receptionist said. “He’s already in a room in the back.” The woman reached underneath her desk and a light buzzer sounded, signaling that the door to the back was unlocked. Alaina reached for the handle and opened it slightly, but then re-shut it just enough to look closed but not latch.

She took a deep breath. “Look, Cam, I really appreciate all you’ve done for me today, but before you go back there, you need to understand something. Ben doesn’t look the same as he used to. If you come back there . . . it’s just not a pleasant sight, okay?”

Cam bent down, eyes level with hers. “I can handle it, Alaina. Let’s just get back there so you can be with your brother.”

A little shocked by his willingness to get involved, she nodded and opened the door to the emergency clinic. Along the opposite and adjacent walls were small rooms sealed off by navy blue sliding curtains. Alaina knew the room well. Had spent several nights there, in fact. Nearing the nurse’s station, Alaina caught the eye of a familiar x-ray tech who directed her toward the room in the far back corner.

Alaina could hear Granny Mae’s soft voice from behind the curtain as she hummed gospel hymns to Ben from the chair beside his bed. Alaina reached out and took hold of the curtain, sliding it open slowly in case Ben was already sleeping . . . which he was.

It was always like this. He’d get sick, get rushed to the ER, and be out on pain killers by the time Alaina got there to be with him. She just wished that for once she could be there with him when he felt this way. To hold his hand and hug him when he was scared. But she never was. She always waited with baited breath, praying with all her might that he would wake up again so that she could see him one last time. And so far, her prayers had been answered every time. But she knew that eventually it would be the last time.

Alaina shot Cam a weary glance and he nodded, understanding that she needed to be alone with Granny Mae and Ben for a moment. “I’ll wait out here,” he said.

Alaina offered an appreciative nod and closed the curtain behind her. She knew that Cam could hear every word through the curtain, but she still admired the fact that he’d shown respect for her privacy. Maybe Cam was changing after all. He certainly seemed different today.

Granny Mae rose upon Alaina’s entry. “Hey, hon,” she said, her voiced tired.

Alaina made her way to Ben’s bedside. What little hair had grown back after the discontinuance of his chemo treatments clung in a cold sweat to his forehead and dark circles shaded below his eyes. He’d been fighting for so long now. He looked so pale. So weak. “How is he?” she asked, already knowing the answer.

Granny reached out and took hold of Alaina’s hand. “About the same as last time, I’m afraid. He’s malnourished. The cancer cells are depleting his system. They’ve got him on some IV fluids to help keep him hydrated and try to get some nourishment to his blood stream. They think he can be stabilized in the next couple of days, but he will have to be admitted.” She paused for a moment. “Sweetie, they want to air evac him to the cancer center in Birmingham this time.”

“Oh.” That was different. Normally they just admitted Ben into the local hospital, treated him for a couple of days, and then sent him home. “It’s getting worse, isn’t it?”

Granny nodded, trying to remain strong for Alaina. “I think so.”

Alaina took a deep breath and leaned down to give her brother a long kiss on the cheek. “Granny . . .” she stopped there as her voiced cracked. She was about to lose it.

Granny Mae squeezed tighter on Alaina’s hand and placed her other hand on Ben’s arm. “I think we should pray,” she said.

Alaina could only nod her agreement. She bowed her head and shut her eyes as Granny Mae led a whispered prayer for Ben’s comfort and strength. Never once did she pray for his recovery or for some miracle cure. Granny Mae knew as well as Alaina that there was no miracle cure. Sure, Alaina didn’t understand how someone as small and as innocent as Ben could be put through something so incredibly scary and grown up, but that didn’t make any difference. Alaina understood that sometimes bad things just happened to good people. There is no explanation. There’s just the fact that it happens, and through it all, the only thing that can truly provide a sense of comfort is trusting that God has his hand on the situation and everything will turn out good for those who believe in Him. Alaina believed in Him. And she believed that she would get her chance to tell her amazingly courageous little brother how much she loved him and how proud of him she was. But past that, she knew that she had to let him go.