Redneck Tale - Naughty Shorts

REDNECK TALE

Naughty Shorts

Published by Hennessee Andrews at
Smashwords

Copyright 2015 Hennessee
Andrews

Blurb:
Being a bridesmaid for the ninth time wasn't exactly what
Vicki would like to do, but a cousin in the south desperately needs
help. Duty calls and Vicki treks to Arkansas for a hillbilly
wedding. If the humidity and the heat isn't enough to ruin her day,
discovering her dress is hunter orange will.

Hanging in there and traveling down the
aisle the ninth time proves to be a decision she won't regret.
Hooking up with two hot country groomsmen for an outdoor rendezvous
is one hell of a bonus.

**This tale is 7400 words. It includes
anal sex and double penetration.

*This book was previous published as
India Maddox, entitled City Bridesmaid, Country
Groomsmen.

A Note from the
author:
This is a work of fiction. The
characters and events described herein are imaginary and are not
intended to refer to specific places or to living persons alive or
dead. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be
reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any
means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or
mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the
publisher except for brief quotations embodied in critical
reviews.

Warning:
This short story is 7400 words. It includes anal sex and
double penetration.

License Notice:
This ebook is licensed for your personal
enjoyment. This ebook may not be sold, given away, or transferred.
Thank you for respecting the author’s work by purchasing additional
copies if you would like to share.

This book is entirely fictitious. Any
resemblance to actual places, people, characters, or incidents is
coincidental, and entirely of the author’s imagination.

COPYRIGHT © 2015

HENNESSEE ANDREWS

ALL RIGHTS
RESERVED

ISBN:

Message from
Vicki:

In the last five years I’ve been a
bridesmaid eight times. Eight! Always the bridesmaid and never the
bride. Pretty pathetic, considering I’m nearing thirty. My mother
believes I’m becoming a spinster, and I already have two
cats.

It isn’t because I don’t get out there
and date. I do! All the time. There’s something about me that
doesn’t convey the message of a forever kind of girl. I can’t say
that I’m the type of woman someone would want to take home to Mom
either. No, I’m too outspoken and opinionated. On the flip side, I
do get my fair share of one-night stands, which in reality, is a
really good thing for me.

All in all, I think I unconsciously
sabotage relationships before they can get started. I have no
desire to cook, clean, or become a man’s mother. I love men, but I
love them in my bed, and when they’re done, I want them to
leave.

I’ve met all kinds of men over the
years. The lonely. The too good to be true. The clingy. The
overbearing. The jerks. The psychos. The list just goes on and on.
Each date I accept is like picking up the dice at a craps table.
I’m gambling. Secretly, I don’t want to roll the dice and win.
Sure, winning once is great, but then life tends to happen, and
I’ve seen it hundreds of times. The fabulous guy, the last of a
dying breed with a great job, insurance. Those dreams and hopes for
the future keep women wound up into a state of euphoria. Then they
land the “great guy” and set out on the journey to their happily
ever after.

Ick. At first the relationship is
fantastic. The couple gets engaged, and oh geesh, the wedding
plans! The big day comes, life is just fucking fabulous. A
honeymoon that lasts anywhere from six months to a year plays out.
The bride is tickled pink. Then life happens…

A few years later they wake up and
wonder what in the hell happened. Instead of waking up next to Mr.
Charming, romance-their-socks-off, they wake up to the asshole, the
cheater, the liar, the gambler, the wife beater, the… you see where
I’m going here. I’ve witnessed it too many times. Out of the eight
weddings I’ve been in, two seem to be working out, and by working
out, I mean they’re sticking it out. The other six have become a
nightmare. Each and every type I mentioned are currently married,
separated, or in the process of divorce. Call me a pessimist, but
the odds aren’t in my favor.

And here I am. I just got off the
phone with my mother. A cousin down in Arkansas is getting married
in two weeks and one of her bridesmaids just eloped and ran off to
California. Sammy, my cousin that I haven’t been around since we
were nine, is in desperate need of a replacement. As it would seem,
there aren’t a lot of candidates she’ll consider. Given that my
mother is the helper of the family, she volunteered me.

I’m not happy about it. In fact, I’m
downright pissed off. I have a job, a life. Well, I have a job, a
great job, and I love it. Taking off to be a bridesmaid for the
ninth time isn’t something I want to do. I have an advertising
spread due in a little over a week, and the thought of attending
one more wedding and boring reception is bothering me. I’ve
attended extremely religious ceremonies and didn’t so much as get a
drink for my services. There have been the fairy tale weddings with
doves being released as a sign of the couple’s love, yet the DJ at
the reception sucked so bad I ended up chugging a bottle of
champagne to dull my misery. And then there have been the regular,
no frills affairs, which equaled no fun at all.

Nevertheless, I can’t say no to a
bride in need. Add to it the fact Sammy is family, and I’ve become
the sucker. Plus, I can’t say no to my mother. Pathetic. The good
news, courtesy of my life giver, is that there will be a bluegrass
band, banjos and all! Dinner will be a feast of roasted hog,
properly smoked in the ground, of course, and a potluck of sides
provided by the guests. My mother also mentioned something about
moonshine and kegs. I must admit I’m intrigued, because this will
be a first for me.

Growing up in NYC, I can’t say that
I’ve ever eaten a pig that had been cooked in the ground. And
moonshine, well, I’ve watched a few documentaries, but have never
tasted it. Oh, and the bride’s dress is camo. I can honestly say
that’s something I must see before I die. In order to get past my
hang-up of being a bridesmaid again, I’m calling this trip a
learning expedition. I will be traveling to parts unknown with
customs I’m sure I won’t understand. Wish me luck.

Chapter 1

I arrived in—whoa, where was I? I
grabbed my cell phone I’d been using for GPS that gave me turn by
turn directions to my aunt’s place. I had to blink and double check
the address. Winding dirt roads crisscrossed me through the
wilderness and over low water bridges. A couple of times I had to
stop and make sure I was heading in the right direction. I ended up
at an old farm house with a long, covered front porch surrounded by
trees. A couple of rusted vehicles sat off to the right, tall weeds
reaching up to the door handles.

Holy shit! Deep howls and barks wailed
out as a swarm of dogs surrounded my rental car. Damn, there must
have been ten, twelve. Long ears and drawn faces stared at me,
offering sporadic wolfs. Yikes, I was not getting out of the car.
No way. Surely I was at the wrong place. Before I could dial my
aunt’s number, a man walked out of a dilapidated garage and started
shouting at the dogs. He was holding something in his blackened and
greasy hands. I eased the window down as he started to approach,
but just a crack.

“
Git!” he shouted at the
dogs as they jumped and ran around his legs. “I said
git!”

Through the grease and grim covering
his face, hands, and arms, I recognized my uncle Jimmy. I guessed I
was at the right place after all.

“
Is that you, Vicki?” Uncle
Jimmy asked and grinned with a wide smile, showing off his missing
front tooth. “Well, I’ll be. Get out and come on in. Your aunt is
inside making a pitcher of sweet tea.”

Hesitantly I opened the door. “Will
those dogs bite?” I asked. That was the last thing I
needed.

“
Nah, they just get excited
when company shows up.”

“
Oh, okay.” I stepped out
and glanced around again. I hadn’t been here since I was a kid, but
then, I don’t recall it looking so, so rundown?

“
Vicki!” A shrill woman’s
voice called. “Oh, Lordy, Vicki!”

The woman sprinted down the stairs,
big blond hair bouncing up and down. She rushed to me and pulled me
into a hug.

“
Hi, Aunt Sadie.” It had
taken me a second or two to recognize her, but I could have sworn
she'd had brunette hair before.

“
Oh, let me look at ya!”
she said and held me at arm’s length. Bright blue eyes with too
much eye shadow and mascara stared at me. Her lips were glossed
over with hot pink lipstick and she popped her chewing gum every
few seconds. “Girl, you have grown up into a beautiful woman. Look
at her, Jimmy. Hasn’t she become a gorgeous girl?”

Jimmy grinned real wide. “Sure
did.”

Well, this was
uncomfortable.

“
Come on, let’s go have a
glass of tea and catch up. Jimmy, please get Vicki’s
luggage.”

“
Oh, no, that’s okay. I
just have a little bag and I’ll come back out for it. It looks like
you’re pretty busy, Uncle Jimmy,” I said, because I didn’t want his
greasy hands grabbing my new and expensive luggage.

Jimmy shrugged. “I suppose I
am.”

“
Come on.” Aunt Sadie
tugged my arm. “You need to try on your dress.”

“
Oh, of course.” Another
bridesmaid dress. I couldn’t wait. I surveyed the place further as
I walked and ended up tripping over a floppy-eared dog that ran
right in front of me.

“
Bubba, get out of here!”
Aunt Sadie shouted. “Damn coon dogs,” she mumbled and we walked up
the rickety steps. “Anyway, you look like the same size as Becky.
That crazy girl.” She shook her head. “She picked a fine time to
elope and run off. No matter, you’re here and we’re going to have
one heck of a hootenanny.”

“
Hootenanny?”

“
Yeah, big shindig,” she
said and waved her hands like I was the crazy one. “Y’all don’t
have big shindigs in the city?”

“
Yes, we do. I just—” I
paused. We don’t call them hootenannies or shindigs though. I
didn’t want to sound stuck up, so I didn’t bother to finish what
I’d been asking. I was without a doubt way out of my element and
really beginning to reconsider agreeing to this.

Inside, cool air blew, but it leaned
on the humid side. A rumbling squeal echoed throughout. “What’s
that noise?”

“
Noise?” Aunt Sadie asked
and scrunched up her brows. “Oh!” she said at once and laughed.
“That’s just the swamp cooler.”

I was afraid to ask, so I continued to
follow her down a hallway to a bedroom.

“
You’re gonna love this!”
Aunt Sadie sounded proud as she opened a closet and pulled out the
most god awful, prison orange dress. “Well? What do ya think?
Hunter orange!”

My heart stopped momentarily and I
fought to smile. “Yeah, I mean… Wow, that’s some dress.” I nodded.
“Camo and hunter orange. Can’t have one without the other.
Right?”

“
I knew you’d love it!” she
said and handed it to me. “Well, try it on, hun. I’ll go get you a
glass of tea.”

After Sadie left I frowned and sighed.
I’ve worn a lot of crappy dresses, but this one would go down in
the record books as being the worst. Does anyone look good in
orange anyway? Besides criminals? On the brighter side, it was a
size 6. I quickly undressed and stepped into the strapless dress
from hell. On the opposite wall was a mirror, but I was too afraid
to look.

“
Oh, my,” Aunt Sadie said
as she entered and sat down the glass of tea on a dresser. “Orange
is your color. Let me zip that up for ya.”

I turned and held up my long brown
hair. Sadie zipped it up and I nearly lost my breath. I’m pretty
chesty in the front. Apparently the other bridesmaid wasn’t. My
boobs more than filled the average cups and spilled over the top.
“Um, it’s pretty tight in the chest.”