Relative Happiness (23 page)

Lexie arrived at Kate's and left Betsy parked in their driveway. She didn't trust the old girl to make it to Montreal. Then she and Kate and Daphne piled all of Lexie's equipment into the small storage rig they had strapped to the roof of their brand new SUV.

Ever the thoughtful one, Kate made sure she had a proper anchor installed in their new vehicle, so it took no time at all to get Josh safely settled in his car seat. Everyone had a last-minute dash to the john and then they piled in and set off.

They had a jolly time as they drove through New Brunswick. Josh's new word was “twee” so he was worn out by the time they hit the Quebec border. Lexie's nerves were shot as they drove between Quebec City and Montreal. The bumper-to-bumper traffic travelled 140 kilometres at least. Giant trucks zoomed past them and blocked out the sun. She threw a sweater over her head and prayed for forgiveness. How could she have put her child in such danger? Joshua thought it was great. His other new word was “twuck.”

She thought it couldn't get worse.

It did.

They went under the Lafontaine Tunnel, a long section of highway that snaked its way below the St. Lawrence River. Lexie swore she could feel the millions of gallons of water over her head. The noise of the vehicles as they zoomed through was eerie. It echoed, like the sound of a holler in a deep well. What if they got stuck? She felt the damp press in on her. She needed to get out of there. Anything was better than this.

Then there was the Montreal traffic. Kate drove while Daphne tried to figure out the lousy map, which neglected to mention that some side streets were one way.

“Where do I go?” Kate yelled.

“I have no frigging idea,” Daphne yelled back.

“What does the frigging map say?”

Daphne flapped the map around. “That frigging street is where we go, but it's the wrong frigging way.”

“Will you both frigging shut up!” Lexie yelled.

“Fwig,” Joshua echoed.

After a collective nervous breakdown, they found the darn place. It was an older brick duplex, close to McGill, in the middle of an established neighbourhood. Lexie noticed the trees were very tall and whispered in the breeze.

The street was lined with the same style brick home right to the end. The only way to recognize one from the other was by the colourful front doors or the window boxes. The front entrances had wrought-iron gates and railings. She thought what a nice picture this row of houses would make, and resolved to unpack her camera as soon as possible.

The first day they unpacked and sorted themselves out. Daphne and Kate took the master bedroom. Josh and Lexie went in the teenage daughter's room, where there was a double bed but also Marilyn Manson posters, which Lexie gingerly removed and placed in the closet.

“Don't ever like heavy metal, Josh.”

He grinned.

She set up Joshua's playpen, but he refused to sleep in it. He was in unfamiliar territory. She was two feet away but it didn't matter—he refused to lie down. He leaned over the side and held out his arms.

“Mama. Mama.”

He looked at her with those big brown eyes and his shiny chestnut curls. She couldn't stand it. She was such a pushover. She'd no doubt regret this move when she got home, but she felt homesick too. She needed him as much as he needed her.

Kate and Daphne had to go to school, so Lexie and Josh were left to explore the city. The first morning they headed out, Lexie made her first mistake. She thought cars stopped at pedestrian crossings. She waited to cross the street for ten minutes, incredulous as everyone ignored her and whizzed by. She was so afraid, she ended up walking around the block several times.

Finally, she caught on: she walked when everyone else walked and they walked through red lights. If enough people gathered to make a small crowd, they left the sidewalk together and silently dared cars to hit them. Incredible.

Lexie pushed Josh in his stroller down St. Catherine Street. She gawked at gorgeous and stylish women who walked by her briskly as they spoke their rapid French. They could have stepped out of the pages of
Vogue
magazine. She was a country mouse—a country mouse lost in the big city.

For most of the month Lexie wandered and enjoyed her time alone with Josh. She took him to the park every day. He loved being pushed on the swings. She recognized a few other mothers after awhile, and they'd exchange a few words of greeting. They'd point to Josh and hold up two fingers. Lexie shook her head and put up one. The only French she learned while she was there was
Mon Dieu
!

They went on the bus. Josh loved to pull the cord to stop it. They liked to go to Old Montreal and take a horse and buggy ride through the narrow streets over cobblestones. The hollow
clip clops
of the horse's huge feet made Josh laugh.

One evening Kate and Daphne mentioned that they'd like to have some of their colleagues over for wine and cheese.

“Oh, that's wonderful,” Lexie cried. “A little adult conversation. Yippee.”

She spent the next day shopping for their small get-together. She and Josh took their time. They bought red and white wine, different cheeses and plenty of French bread and water crackers. She stopped at a bakery and went berserk. The choice of small delicate pastries was overwhelming. She thought of Susie when she asked the proprietor for two of everything. The woman insisted that Josh have a lemon tart, as well as a big kiss.

Lexie imagined what it would be like to live in a city and go to small shops for one thing or another. She pretended she belonged. At the end of the day, she'd go home to a small flat and a husband.

The girls got home and between them they assembled the goodies for the party. Then they got dressed up. They'd been in jeans since they arrived. Lexie put Josh to bed early and stayed with him until he fell asleep. She crawled away gingerly and hoped he wouldn't wake. She put pillows on the floor in case he fell off and left the door open. She made sure she had the baby monitor with her.

Finally, the three of them enjoyed a glass of wine together. Then the doorbell rang. Daphne went to answer it. There was a happy commotion, as five people arrived at once. Everyone greeted Kate and Daphne with kisses on both cheeks.

Kate introduced Lexie. They shook her hand warmly. Except for one man who took her hand instead, and kissed it gently.

“
Enchanté, mademoiselle
.”

“
Bonjour
.” That was it for her French repertoire.

She spent the evening as the hostess, smiling but not saying much. She tried to understand their conversation, but since it was mostly about their project, it bored her stupid. She poured wine and refilled trays. And proceeded to get a little buzz on. When you don't talk, you drink. She had three glasses of wine before she knew it. The man who kissed her hand came over and sat beside her. She tried to remember his name. She was hopeless at that sort of thing. Then it came to her, Jean-Marc.

“So,” he asked with a gorgeous French accent, “How do you enjoy your stay with us?”

“It's been wonderful, now that I know how to walk across the street without being killed.”

He laughed. He was easy on the eyes. She looked for a wedding ring but didn't see one.

“Montreal's not known for its patient drivers,” he agreed. “I grew up here. I don't notice anymore.”

“I assume you work at McGill?”

“
Oui,
in the department of psychology. I am a
professeur
. I try to, eh, what's the word, deliver sense into young students. But they are too busy with thoughts of making love to listen to me.”

“Really?” She felt herself blush. She didn't often talk to a nice-looking man about lovemaking.

“I think maybe you are lonely here, all by yourself most of the time. I'd like to take you to dinner one night. I love to escort beautiful women.
S'il vous plaît, oui
?

He gave her a smile. Lexie's first thought was that she was sure he could talk her into anything or out of anything quite quickly.

“That would be lovely, thank you.”

He kissed her hand again.

The party finally broke up. Everyone had to work in the morning. They said their goodnights. Jean-Marc came over and said he'd call her. She nodded and smiled. He kissed both her cheeks and left.
Golly, that was four kisses
, she thought. She felt good.

Kate came over to her as she waved them out the door. “So you little flirt, how did you get our Casanova so interested?”

“As you know darling, I taught Gabby everything she knows.”

Lexie did go out with Jean-Marc. He picked her up at the door with a bouquet of flowers. He had all the right moves designed to impress a woman. It was a mild spring night, just perfect for a walk. As they made their way downtown, lights came on all over the city. People were out to enjoy the night air. They talked easily. Lexie was relaxed and happy.

He took her to a bistro on Metcalfe Street. It was dark, intimate, with tables for two covered in red-checked tablecloths. Round glass containers covered with plastic mesh held the candles.

Jean-Marc ordered wine and suggested the specialty, lamb with rosemary. They talked about everything. She told him about her family, the library and, of course, Joshua.

He was a bachelor. His mother despaired that he'd never settle down and produce the grandchildren she desperately wanted.

After dinner, they strolled along the sidewalk and didn't hurry back. He took her hand and she kept it in his. It was comfortable to be with a man. She missed it.

When they returned to the house, she faced him. “What a wonderful evening. Thank you so much. I'll never forget it.”

He smiled. “It was my pleasure. May I kiss you goodnight?”

“You may.”

He kissed her softly.

“Will I see you again?”

“Yes.” He kissed her once more. It felt nice.

“Goodnight.”

“
Bonne Nuit
.”

Kate and Daphne were in their pyjamas with big mugs of cocoa cupped in their hands. They sat her down and demanded to know everything. Lexie kicked off her shoes and rubbed her feet. She wasn't used to high heels. “He's just a very nice man. And guess what? He asked me out again. Imagine?”

They threw tiny marshmallows at her head.

A week later Jean-Marc called and asked if she'd be interested in going to a cabaret. She agreed and decided to splurge on a new dress, since she'd only brought the one, and how often did one get the chance to browse in such a fashionable city?

She took the Metro, for a change. She'd never been on it and since it would deliver her to large department stores without having to walk outside, it seemed very convenient.

She soon regretted her decision. There were plenty of steep stairs to get down before arriving at the platform itself. Josh had a great time as he bounced in his stroller. Lexie was worn out.

She finally stood on the platform. There were plenty of characters who stood there with her—university students plugged into their headphones with backpacks that looked like they weighed a ton, old women carting small wire trolleys filled with shopping, and even a few drunks and punks.

She stayed well away from the tracks themselves. She looked around, turning her attention to the crowd on the other side of the tracks. Among those biding their time until the Metro arrived was a tall man, with long brown hair. She watched him even though his back was to her, because he felt familiar. He pointed to a poster. A little black girl held his hand. She pointed too. And then they turned around.

It was Adrian.

Someone hit her on the chest with the back of a shovel. She gasped for air. She looked at the child. She was adorable and Lexie knew in an instant that she was African. She didn't know why, she just knew. She stood there and didn't move. The roar of the train approached.

Adrian looked up and didn't see her at first. He slowly turned his head towards her again. He looked shocked, amazed. He threw his hand in the air to greet her, then hesitated, as if he thought better of it.

He disappeared as the blue cars of the Metro rushed between them, with a huge swoosh of air and squealing tires. The doors opened and people poured out as others tried to get on. Lexie didn't know what to do. She panicked and pushed Joshua's stroller into the car. Before she could think of what she'd done, the doors shut behind her and the Metro surged ahead with a jolt.

Lexie hung on to the steel pole in front of her. She put her forehead on its cold metal. She rushed away from Adrian down a long, dark tunnel.