Authors: Downs Jana
Marcel was pretty sure Matthew was nearing the point of a breakdown. As the days and weeks turned into a month and then one month into two, the lines of worry became a constant presence in Matthew’s face. He’d held them together so well when they’d been in the field. It seemed that now it was their turn to take care of him. He and Andrew did the best they could, offering him physical and mental comfort as Matthew’s self-esteem and hope dwindled with each jobless day without his father. But he was becoming increasingly agitated, and it was a lot to deal with so early in their love.
“I’m worried about him, too,” Andrew said, coming to sit beside him on the couch while he stared out the glass at their lover in the garden. It was the place he spent most of his time lately. None of them left the condo if they could help it, per his orders, but he seemed to leave even less than was necessary. He was either on his vid putting in résumés or sitting in the garden, staring at the koi fish, his cell within reach, just in case his father called. It was heartbreaking, really.
“I just feel so helpless. I can’t do anything to make it better.” Marcel sighed. “There is no bad guy to fight, no zombie to kill, no trauma to overcome. It’s like we’re all sitting in limbo, waiting for it to be real or a close call. He’s going to rejoin SCAB. It’s only a matter of days. I’ve seen that twitchy look before on other field agents. It’s the inactivity. He will have to do something or go insane.”
Andrew leaned his head to rest against his shoulder, his eyes never leaving Matthew. “He doesn’t really want to go, though. He just feels like our relationship is unbalanced.”
Given that he hadn’t considered a three-way relationship before, it was suddenly impossible for him to think of any relationship but his beautiful triad. The idea of Matthew leaving made him bereft. It was impossible to imagine a relationship that didn’t include him. Andrew, Matthew, and Marcel were a set. It was all or nothing. He feared that they would fall apart if they were broken up.
“He’s so stubborn.” Why couldn’t he just accept that the three of them were in love and they didn’t need to be constantly equal in order to be healthy? He didn’t have to be a pillar of strength all the damn time.
“It’s a trait most field agents share,” Andrew said, poking him in the ribs. “You’re pretty stubborn yourself.”
“Yeah, but he’s depressed. He’s supposed to let me help.”
Andrew chuckled. “Uh-huh. I just wish someone would tell him one way or another. It’s killing him.”
“Wishing and hoping aren’t getting any results. Maybe I could get in contact with some people at Deadzone and try to find something out,” Marcel offered as Matthew put his hands over his face, his shoulders hunching over. He ached to go out to him, but it would just make Matthew surly. The longer time had stretched on, the less he let them comfort him.
Andrew snorted. “People at Deadzone have Special Ops connections?”
Marcel shrugged. “It is worth a try.” Andrew sat up suddenly, his whole body tensing. “What is it?”
“Deadzone,” Andrew said, excitement in his voice. “Do you think you could call Jason and see if Matthew could get on the run team? It’s still field work, sort of, and it would make him feel like he was actually doing something.”
Marcel grinned. “You’re so right. Why didn’t we think about this before?” Matthew was Jim and Jason’s nephew. There was no way he wouldn’t get the position.
“Because he’s been so determined to have a purely civilian job.” Andrew matched his grin. “Let’s go tell him.” Maybe it would take some of the stress off him if he knew he was getting a job.
“Let me call Jason first,” Marcel said, trying to calm his own excitement. He fished his phone out of his pocket and dialed.
Jason picked up on the second ring. “Hey, Marcel. How’s it going?”
“Pretty good, sir. How are you?”
“Doing fine. We’re working on scheduling a new race on a closed track at Churchill Downs with another few companies. How’s Andrew’s training going?”
Marcel tapped his fingers on his thigh. “Good. His running didn’t suffer at all while he was out in the wilds. He can still run circles around me and Matthew. Speaking of Matthew, can I ask you a favor?”
“Sure thing, man. Shoot.”
“Do you think you could possibly hire Matthew on the run team? He’s invaluable to us, and he’s a hell of a field agent.”
There was a long pause on the other end of the phone, long enough that he worried that he’d overstepped. “Invaluable to you, huh? You guys making a go of a relationship?”
Marcel cleared his throat, uncomfortable. It was almost like admitting he was going steady to his own father. “Yeah. We are. We just work.”
“You think the relationship will stick? It isn’t just sex?”
Man he interrogates like a drill sergeant from hell
. Marcel was starting to sweat. “No. It’s more than that. We’re more than that. The three of us just fit.”
Jason chuckled on the other end of the phone. “Lucky bastards. Took me and Jim years to find our third. Our Mattie is a lucky guy. You two are a beautiful catch. Of course I’ll give him the job on the run team. I’m glad he decided not to re-up with SCAB. Work like that doesn’t lend itself to a family life. His father is the perfect example of that. Give me a couple hours, and I’ll e-mail you his paperwork. Just have him fill it out and send it back.”
“Thanks, Jason. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem, Marcel. Anything for my nephew. You take care of him and tell him that Jack has been out of touch for longer before and has been fine.”
Marcel blinked. “How did you know he was worried?”
“I know him. Jack is everything to him. We haven’t been super close in the past, but we changed that in the past year. Matthew doesn’t like to be alone. Keep him away from the recruiters until his dad gets back. Okay?”
“We’re trying. A new job will help ease it, I think. Thanks again, sir.”
“No problem,” Jason repeated. “Take care and say hi to Andrew for me.”
“Will do. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Until then.”
They hung up.
“Well?” Andrew asked, impatience thick in his voice.
He grinned. “He was more than happy to do it.
Now
let’s go tell Matthew.”
They stood and made their way out the glass door that led out to the garden. Marcel gave Andrew’s hand a squeeze of encouragement as Matthew’s misery-filled gaze rose to meet them.
“What’s up?” he asked.
Marcel sat on the ground beside him, tugging Andrew along after him. “We have some good news.”
Matthew’s eyes widened. “Someone found my dad?” Marcel shifted. Shit. He looked so damn hopeful.
“No,” he said softly. “I’m sorry. That’s not it. I just wanted to tell you that Jason offered you a position on Andrew’s run team as a field agent.”
Matthew’s reaction wasn’t what he was expecting. Rage flickered over his face. “You asked Uncle Jason to get me a job?”
“Um, well, not really, kind of,” Marcel stumbled. What was his problem? “I mean, we thought it would be a good fit.”
“We?” Matthew asked. His eyes went to Andrew. “You were in on this?”
Andrew paled visibly. “Uh, I thought it was a good idea. You are just so bummed about not being able to find—”
“Don’t fucking talk to me like I’m a four-year-old!” Matthew snapped. “I know why I’m ‘bummed out.’ I’m not stupid. Did it even occur to the two of you to ask me before you called my uncle and told him how much of a loser I am?”
Marcel’s eyes widened. “What? What the fuck are you talking about? You’re not a loser!”
“I’m a fucking field-trained medical operative that can’t even get a janitorial job at the hospital. I’m apparently diseased because I was SCAB, and my possible infection score is too high to work at a regular sector-run hospital.” A muscle in Matthew’s jaw ticked. “Do you know how humiliating it is to be told over and over again that perhaps I’d be better off applying as a field surgeon? I am apparently only qualified to kill things and stitch up wounds. That’s it. I’m fucking useless in real life.”
Andrew shook his head, his eyes as wide as dinner plates. “No! Don’t say that! You’re not useless. We might have overstepped, but we were just trying to help.”
Matthew laughed, the sound bitter and mocking. “All I want to do is live in the private sector and heal people. I don’t want to do field training, wear fatigues, or even face the possibility of shooting someone again. Why can’t you get that?”
Marcel finally felt an answering spark of anger as the shock wore off. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because you keep talking about signing back up as a SCAB? You seem to be fine with all that when you’re feeling particularly sorry for yourself.”
“Sorry for myself?” Matthew sputtered.
“Yeah,” Marcel cut in before he could continue. “You are feeling sorry for yourself. Look, this economy sucks. It always has and always will until infection is eliminated. Everyone has trouble finding work in the private sector, and you know it. Even highly trained doctors have issues getting on to hospitals or private firms. Like it or not, health facilities discriminate against field-trained medical professionals. Stop acting like you’re the only one in the world who has to deal with it. Andrew and I were just trying to help you. You didn’t even consider Deadzone, and I thought it might be an easier transition to go from Deadzone and then eventually another job than to jump straight from SCAB to civilian life.”
“Fuck you!” Matthew said, surging to his feet. “I don’t have to listen to this shit!”
Oh, hell no
. Marcel got to his feet, too. “You do not get to stomp away on your high horse, Matthew. We’re a triad, remember? We work together to figure shit out!”
We’re fighting. We’ve never fought before
. The realization was an unnerving one. People in a relationship fought. It was normal. But this seemed to have a lot of pressure on top of it. He couldn’t help but wonder if they’d buckle under the weight of the argument.
“I—” Matthew cut himself off, took a deep breath. When he next spoke, his tone changed, the anger evaporating. “I’m sorry. I’m just so frustrated. I don’t know how to do this, how to be this.” He waved his hand, encompassing the house and them.
Andrew climbed up and went to him, wrapping his arms around his waist. “We can figure it out together. We’re all stumbling around in the dark, Matthew. There is not an easy button. I wish there was.”
Marcel followed his example, bracketing the taller field agent between them. Matthew tensed for a second but eventually relaxed into their touch. Marcel rubbed his neck, working out the knot of nerves as he kissed his shoulder. “We can support you, but you have to lean on us, Mr. Big Bad SCAB Agent. You have to let us help.”
He sighed. “Can I think about the job with Deadzone?” Matthew asked.
Marcel nodded even if he couldn’t see. “Yeah. Jason is going to send over an offer letter and the paperwork you’d have to fill out. Your uncles’ company is great to work for. It’s not an admission of weakness to accept a hand up in this economy. Hell, he might even assign you as company medic if he looks over your résumé. I only thought you’d want the run team position so you could…” He trailed off. He supposed that bit was a little selfish.
So you’d stay with us
.
“So I could what?” Matthew asked.
“Stay with us, stupid,” Andrew said, voicing what Marcel hadn’t been able to.
Matthew paused. “I didn’t think of it like that.”
“Well, you should’ve. You bit our heads off for no reason. I expect you to make it up to us big time.” Andrew’s tone was serious, but his eyes were twinkling with mischief.
“Oh?” Matthew asked dryly. “How do you propose I do that?”
“By coming inside and fucking me until I forget how mad you made me.”
Marcel echoed Matthew’s groan. In the weeks since they’d gotten back it seemed that Andrew’s sexual hunger had just gotten bigger. He wanted them all the time, and if they were anywhere near the bed—
hell, half the time we don’t even need a bed
—he was jumping them. His innocent run kid had quite the appetite.
“How did you not know that you were meant to be in a poly relationship?” Matthew asked, chuckling. “You have enough stamina to break lesser men. You need the both of us just to keep up with you.”
Andrew shrugged before he gave them both a saucy grin. “Not my fault I have two gorgeous field agents as lovers.” More seriously, he added, “Besides, it takes some of the sadness out of your eyes. I love you, Matthew. I like making you feel good.” The man always had the ability to say just the right thing. He was definitely the peacekeeper between them.
Matthew leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Andrew’s lips. “You always make me feel good, love.” He stepped back and waved toward the condo. “Lead the way.” He reached back and took Marcel’s hand. “We’ll follow.”
Marcel warmed all over. They were all right.
Andrew knew that distracting them from their problems wasn’t the best way to deal with the issue, but sex helped them all relax, and when the problems had no easy solutions, it was one way that they coped. Besides, afterward in the relaxed atmosphere, they’d lay together and talk for hours, saying things they normally wouldn’t because of how close they felt. It was high time he broke out the toy box, though.
He led them both into the bedroom and motioned toward his king bed. “Go ahead and get naked and ready.”
Almost immediately they started stripping one another and sharing deep, openmouthed kisses that took the arousal that had been on the edges of his consciousness and made it blossom to a full-blown erection. God he always wanted them, always. Beyond that, he liked them as people, loved them. He couldn’t imagine his life without them. The few days they’d been separated when Marcel and Matthew had gone to the respective sectors to pack had been the loneliest of his life. He used to savor his solitary existence. Now he didn’t want to be without them, ever.
“Come play with us,” Matthew said, cupping Marcel’s now-naked cock and offering it up for his perusal.
“Hmm, you two get started. I’m going to get us some toys.” He was never as bold with his former lovers as he was with Mar and Matthew. They brought out his wild side.
“Toys?” they asked in unison.
“Oh yeah.” He tried not to blush as they looked at him like he’d just grown another dick. “Don’t look at me like that. I wasn’t dead before you met me, just a little partnerless.”
Marcel laughed. “That’s fucking hot.”
“Agreed,” Matthew rumbled.
Just wait until you see what I have in mind, you two. You’re going to come so hard your eyes will cross
. He knelt on the floor beside the bed and grabbed the handle on the box under his bed. He opened it as Matthew pushed Marcel back into the bed and climbed on top of him. They ground against one another, groaning as they kissed. Andrew put a restraining hand on his cock as it jerked in the confines of his run shorts. His lovers were so much trouble.
He took out his two toys and stood. “Marcel, lie on your back. Matthew, will you kneel?” They shot him curious, somewhat dazed, looks but obeyed. As they posed for him, Andrew grabbed the lube from the side dresser. Their tests had come back from the medic with the all-clear for them to have unprotected sex, but they hadn’t done so yet. It would only add to what he was planning.
“What are you doing, love?” Matthew asked, staring at him as he stripped off his clothing. His eyes went to the toys he’d tossed on the bed. “And what are those?”
“Something fun. I saw this thing on one of the pornography vids I wanted to try.”
Marcel groaned. “God, you and your ideas are going to kill me.”
Andrew grinned. “You’ll die a happy man, I promise.” He climbed onto the bed and took them both in hand. They both let out low moans of want as his jacked them with practiced precision. He’d learned just how to touch each of them to bring them off. He added some slick to each and stroked them to spread it down each cock in turn.
When he saw them start to sweat, he withdrew his touch and grabbed up the two rings and slipped them on their cocks. “What is that?” Matthew asked, his voice a hoarse thread of need.
“Vibrating cock rings,” Andrew said, pleased with they both made noises of surprised want. He continued. “So when you both stretch me, we can all three enjoy it.”
“All?” Marcel asked in a strangled voice.
“Yeah. Both of you at the same time. I want it.” If he were honest, he had wanted it from that first night but had been too scared and untried to ask to for it.
“Naughty, run kid,” Matthew rumbled. Andrew depressed the buttons on the base of both rings and watched his lovers’ faces as the sensation caused their eyes to roll. Oh yeah. That was hot.
He slicked his fingers with lube and forced two digits impatiently into his needy hole. He wanted this too much and had waited long enough to feel his lovers’ spunk hitting his internal walls. He added a third finger and groaned at the stretch. His lovers echoed the sound as they stroked their own cocks as they watched him.
“Better hurry,” Matthew said. “I’m not going to last long.”
Marcel made a noise of agreement.
Finally he was stretched enough that he could take one of them, and he eagerly threw his leg over Marcel’s hips and straddled his body. He sank on Marcel’s vibrating cock without preamble, groaning at the sensation of being filled. Marcel’s head kicked back against the pillow, his face the picture of sexual agony.
Best idea ever
.
Behind him, Matthew crowded in close, touching the place where their bodies were connected and added more lube.
“Ready for more?” Matthew rumbled, slowly working open his entrance even further as Marcel writhed under him. Andrew loved when Matthew saw where he was going and took charge.
It took several long minutes before Matthew was satisfied that he was stretched far enough, and only then did he command them both to be still. With careful movements, he spread Andrew further, and the run kid gasped at the sensation of being so stuffed full.
“You okay?” Matthew asked.
“God, yeah!” Andrew managed to gasp. “So full.”
Matthew chuckled, the sound strained. “Yes. Full of us. You’re going to have to be the one to move, love.”
Oh yeah. I knew that
. He moved his hips cautiously, trying to establish a rhythm. His mind short-circuited, his nerves firing all at once at the sensation of hard cocks and vibrations rocking his insides made his eyes cross. He did it again, and his thoughts scattered. He became a creature of sensation, only processing the basest of things as he drove them on toward release.
Marcel babbled incoherently, and it somehow made what they were doing that much more intense.
Yes. Yes. God, mine
. These were his men, and he couldn’t wait for them to fill him with the sticky proof of their combined desire. His possessiveness reared its head, and he was barely aware that he was telling the both of them never to leave him and that they were his and they better just get used to the idea. Matthew groaned his affirmation as he started moving behind him, seemingly unable to help it as his orgasm approached.
When Marcel reached up and gripped the tip of Andrew’s dick, he lost it, screaming his release to high heaven as his body clamped down on the two pricks moving inside him. Marcel followed him over, and Matthew’s hands tightened on his hips as he jerked and filled him as well. The sensation made him shudder.
Yes. Mine
. He sagged, spent.
I am apparently a little bit demanding in bed.
The wry thought made him smile as his lovers gently pulled from him and took off their vibrating rings.
“I think my balls turned inside out,” Marcel rumbled, putting his arm over his eyes.
“Hmmm, so worth it,” Andrew said.
Matthew rolled out of bed without a word, no doubt to go into the bathroom and get some washcloths to clean up with. Andrew let his eyes slide shut as contentment filled him.
Their lover returned a second later and lovingly cleaned the both of them before depositing the washcloths in the hamper. He snuggled between them and let out a happy sigh. “Thanks. I think I needed that.”
“Anytime,” Andrew said, giggling a little bit at that. They stayed that way for a long time, none of them talking as they basked in the aftermath of their lovemaking.
Matthew ran his hand over Andrew’s stomach, tracing a pattern into his skin and making him shiver. “So, about this job at Deadzone?”
“What about it?” Marcel asked, his voice taking on an alert cadence.
“I think I’m going to take it. You’re right. I need a segue into civilian life, and that’ll be a good way to do it. You guys were right.”
He heard the grin in Marcel’s voice as he spoke. “Good. I’m glad you saw reason. I know it’s selfish, but I’m happy that you’re going to be with us.”
“I want to stay with you,” Matthew admitted. Andrew’s heart soared at the admission. “I think I just wanted to get as far away from the infected as I could, and despite the low-level risk in the run team, it’s still something that provided a hard trigger for it. Plus, it’s like I’m asking for a favor from my uncles.”
Andrew sighed. “You’re nuts. If you applied for the position, even without the connection, they’d hire you in a half a second. Most of the field agents that go directly into the private sector forgo UMF or SCAB tours and don’t have the field experience.” He gave him a squeeze. “And if you don’t want to get a job in the meantime and just oversee the house renovations, I don’t mind. I can more than carry the weight of the finances.”
Matthew shook his head. “I don’t want to do that. I love you, and I appreciate the offer, but you and Marcel have done enough for me. I need to work. I’m going stir crazy in this house. I don’t have checkins and range protocols like Mar or run training like you. I’m not used to inactivity. It’ll be good to get back to work.”
“Then I think this is the best solution until you either decide you like the job or something better comes up,” Marcel said. “So, no more talk about rejoining SCAB for suicide missions?”
“No more talk about re-upping with SCAB,” Matthew agreed. They were finally on track to happiness.