Release: Davlova: Book One (25 page)

“Where are the others?”

“Did they let you go?”

I turned to face them. “The others are still there. I don’t think they’re coming home.”

I’d expected surprise, or outrage, but they were beyond that. There had been too many raids over the years. Everybody knew the standard rules of arrest—of weighing guilt against innocence—were null and void.

It was Clea who finally spoke. “But they let you go?”

Her voice shook, but I heard the challenge behind her words. “Yes.”

She stepped forward, her small fists clenched at her sides. “So Dulcie and Wera don’t even get a trial, but you get to walk free.”

It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. An accusation.

“Yes.”

“I guess that’s the benefit of being Donato’s whore.” Her lip trembled as she spoke, but she took another step toward me. I wondered if she was going to slap me. “Will you think of our friends tonight, while you’re in his bed? Will you ask him what will become of them while he’s fucking you?”

“Enough,” Lalo said, stepping between us. “We all make our living in the same way.”

“But not all of us get free passes when the police come calling.”

“You’re one to talk,” Tawny said. “Everybody in this parlor was arrested but you, so don’t stand there acting as if being Benedict’s favorite had nothing to do with it.”

“Do you think I
want
to be his favorite?” Clea asked, turning on Tawny. “You think I like what that pig does to me? Being fucked isn’t half of it!”

“I didn’t see you volunteering for the handcuffs, either.”

“Stop.” Talia pushed her way gently into the center of the knot of people, urging everybody to take a step backward. “Lalo’s right. That’s enough.” She turned to Clea. “If you want to blame somebody, blame me for refusing to pay him double last week. Or blame the Council. Or blame Donato or Benedict. But don’t blame Misha. He’s only doing his job, just like the rest of us.”

Clea burst into tears, but the fight had gone out of her. She let Lilja lead her away from our group, to an armchair in the corner. Tawny went to the other side of the room to sit by herself.

“I need to send word,” Talia said to me. I didn’t have to ask what she meant. Anzhéla would undoubtedly want to know that I was back. I wondered briefly if she’d been concerned about my fate, or if she’d only cared that she might have lost her spy.

I stood there, feeling awkward and terribly guilty. I couldn’t help feeling that Clea was right. Dulcie and the others didn’t deserve whatever was coming any more than I did. In fact, they probably deserved it less. They were whores, but they weren’t thieves. They weren’t spies. They weren’t knowingly betraying everybody they loved.

Lalo put his hand on my back, rubbing lightly between my shoulder blades. “Don’t hold it against her,” he said quietly. “She and Dulcie were very close.”

I ducked my head, nodding, taking comfort from the simple warmth of his touch. I wanted to lean into him. To give some semblance of comfort in return. “I’m glad you’re safe.”

“I’m glad I am, too. Does that make me a bad person?”

“Not any more than the rest of us.”

***

A few short hours later, after washing the stink of the jail from my hair and skin, I found myself once again in Donato’s carriage, on my way to his house for the evening. My heart was heavy with guilt, my thoughts as dark as the night that bore down on us from the east. The city seemed to be waiting for a new wave of yellow fliers to pour through the streets, detailing Benedict’s latest raid, kindling for the wildfire that waited to ignite. At the gate, the armed men beat on the sides of my carriage. The semi-friendly catcalls I’d endured for days suddenly had an edge.

“Fucking traitor!” one yelled.

I wished I could say it was a lie.

At Donato’s house, I was directed to the bedroom. Occasionally, we had dinner in the dining room before retiring to the bedroom. Dining room evenings were often more pleasant, but tonight, I didn’t mind skipping it. I thought I’d grown used to being a whore, but for the first time in ages, I felt dirty. I still had a handful of il hidden around the room, and I took one, lest my dark mood make Donato unhappy. I debated taking one of the sedatives, too. A quick check confirmed that the packet I’d hidden between the mattresses was still there. It wasn’t that I was afraid of him, though. It was simply that my thoughts had turned traitorous. I loved him, and I hated him. I wanted to be his, but I wanted to escape. I wanted to help my clan, but I no longer felt like one of them. Taking the drug seemed like a good way to quiet my brain, but it wouldn’t free me from my real dilemma.

I wondered how Donato would treat me after the day we’d had. I hoped he’d embrace me. I wanted more than anything to huddle in his arms and let him comfort me, but it wasn’t to be. I could tell the minute he entered the room that he was in a foul mood. His anger at Benedict was greater than his love for me.

“Why so glum, darling? Something wrong?”

The words were benign, but there was a dangerous edge to his voice. He didn’t really care how I felt. Not yet, at any rate. He was testing me. I feigned a smile, although my heart was heavy. “I was lonely without you. That’s all. I’m glad you’re here.”

He stepped closer to me, his fists clenched at his sides. “Are you really so anxious to be fucked?”

A lump began to build in my throat. I needed my lover, Miguel. But I’d have to go through my master, Donato, in order to reach him. I took a deep breath and resigned myself to whatever was to come. “I’m anxious only to please you, in whatever way you wish.”

He almost smiled, but it only served to heighten the glint of cruelty in his eyes. “Good. Now get undressed.”

My hands shook, but I did it, as quickly as I could. When I was naked, he looked me up and down. A slow pulse ticked under his eye. “You’re not the one who’s displeased me. I think you know that. But I fear you’ll be the one to bear the brunt of that anger.”

I swallowed hard and forced myself to nod. “I understand.”

“I could take it out on the boy instead—”

“No.” I wanted to see Ayo, but not like this. Not now, when the beast was tugging at Donato’s grip. And right or wrong, I wanted this punishment. I wanted him to hurt me. The pain would make everything else go away. “Whatever you need to do to me, I can take it.”

“Good.”

I’d barely had time to process the word before the first blow came, a vicious backhand across my face that knocked me to my knees.

“Get up.”

I did. I didn’t allow myself to touch my cheek, where he’d hit me. I rose to my feet, although my legs trembled.

“Whore,” he sneered, and struck me again.

I was ready this time. I stayed on my feet, but I regretted it immediately. He hit me a third timer, harder than before, more a punch than a slap, and I fell to the floor, tasting blood, my head spinning. I had a moment to catch my breath as he swore at me, fumbling with his pants. He grabbed a handful of my hair and jerked my head back. His hard cock stood ready, and I swallowed it. I sucked him as if my life depended on it. He called me a filthy whore. He pulled my hair and slapped my face. He fucked my mouth without mercy. It was like my first night with him, all over again. Failure was not an option. My only choice was to appease him, and I lost myself in my duty. I let everything else fall away and focused on pleasing him, hoping that once his rage had passed, I’d be granted a bit of tenderness.

He didn’t last long, and when it was over, I could tell by the way he touched me that his orgasm had quenched his rage. The fist that had held my hair as I sucked him softened, his fingers gently caressing my scalp and the nape of my neck. I shuddered in relief, counting myself lucky. Some nights, an orgasm wasn’t enough to tame him, and although I’d invited his violence, I was glad it had run its course tonight.

He went into the bathroom and returned with a cool, wet cloth. He sat next to me on the floor and touched it gently to my face. As careful as he was, it still made me flinch.

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t mind.” After all, I was betraying everybody I’d ever known. It seemed right that I bore this kind of punishment in exchange.

“You chose right. If it had been him, the anger would have lasted longer. But with you...” He dabbed carefully at my lip. The cloth came away spotted with blood. “I doubt that’s much consolation.”

It was, though. I’d wanted to protect Ayo, if only for tonight. In that, at least, I’d succeeded. “Will you ever let him go?”

“How could I? He has no friends but the butler. No knowledge of the city or the larger world. No skills at all save those granted him by the Dollhouse. I’m sure he could make a living on his back. Is that what you’d have for him?”

He was right, of course. There were plenty of men—and maybe a few women—who would pay to abuse Ayo’s deceptively young-looking body, but would that life really be any better than the one he had now?

He laid the damp cloth against my cheekbone, just below my eye. No blood there, but the coldness helped ease the pain. “I’m sorry, love. I was so angry. It’s this business in the city. Damned Benedict and his raids. When I saw you standing there in that cell...” He made a growling noise, low in his throat. “I wanted to throttle him with my bare hands.”

“I wish you would.”

He shook his head. “I can’t joke about this, pet. Once he realizes I’ve released you, he’ll become suspicious. If he knows I value you...” He took the cloth away and put it aside. “He’s a dangerous man.”

“I know. But so are you.”

“I’m not sure it’s enough. Not with everything else that’s going on.”

It was a repeat of our conversation at the jail, and once again, his lack of confidence disturbed me. I had no idea how to answer him.

“I hate you being so far away, where I can’t protect you.” He brushed a strand of my wayward hair out of my eyes. “I’m tempted to move you here, into my house, where you’d be safe. Would you like that?”

My heart began to pound. I fought to keep breathing. The thought of it terrified me, but it thrilled me, too. Leave behind everything I’d ever known?

“You’re silent,” he said. “Does that mean you object?”

“I’m not sure.” I swallowed, trying to sort through the frantic mess of my thoughts. Yes, it would be scary, but this was everything I’d ever wanted—the opportunity to leave the trenches behind. I’d be living on the hill. Living in luxury.

Living with him.

“Would I be allowed out?”

“Outside my house, you mean? Or outside the wall?”

“Either.”

“I haven’t decided.” He kissed me gently before helping me to my feet. “We’ll discuss it another time. But for now, I’m afraid I have to leave again, for a few days.”

“On the boat?”

“Yes.”

He guided me to the bed and we sat side-by-side on its edge. He pulled me into his arms. I settled against him, comforted by his strength and his warmth. I remembered the night we’d spent on his yacht. I remembered how it felt to make love to the sky. “I could come with you.”

“No. I hate to leave you, but this is business.”

“I understand.”

“Benedict has forced my hand in this, with the blessing of the Council. I’m furious that I have to go at all. I fear that when I come home, I won’t be myself.”

Meaning he’d be in a rage far worse than tonight. “I know.”

“I have the boy. I can take my anger out on him instead.”

“No.”

“Are you so determined to protect him?”

Yes.
But that wasn’t an answer I could give. To admit it would allow him leverage later on, when his beast was in control. It would give him reason to use Ayo against me.

I tilted my head back to meet his gaze. I touched his cheek, wiping gently at the blue tears that would never go away. I kissed him, letting my lips linger on his. “I want you for myself. I’ll take the anger, if it means I get time like this as payment.”

“You will, my love. I promise. Whatever happens, I’ll make it up to you. Anything you want, I’ll grant. I’ll do whatever it takes to rebuild my credit.” He laid me gently back on the bed, and moved down to run his tongue up the length of my cock. “I’ll even give you an advance deposit.”

I lay there, my heart torn in two, my eyes wet with tears, my face still throbbing from his blows. But it didn’t stop me from taking what he offered.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

The bruising wasn’t as bad this time. My eye was tender, the skin stained as dark as raisins, but at least it wasn’t swollen shut. At least the mark only covered my cheekbone and not the entire side of my face. Still, when I went to the kitchen to find breakfast the next morning, I saw the way the other whores looked at me, their eyes wide.

“That’s the second time this month,” one of them said to another in a whisper that was a bit too loud.

Was that true? The last beating already seemed ancient, practically forgotten, a distant memory. And anyway, this time had been different. This time, I’d wanted it. I’d deserved it.

Not that they’d ever understand that.

Lalo sat next to me. He reached up to gently touch my cheek. “You should ice that.”