Allie slid the elevator key Hudson had given her into the panel and pressed the button for the penthouse. Immediately the car began its smooth glide to the top floor of the Palmolive building. She took a deep breath and kept her eyes trained on the wood carvings that decorated the inside of the doors. As the numbers on the display above them grew higher, so did the level of her anxiety.
Her grip tightened on the shopping bag that held the baking supplies she’d bought the night before. And her clothes. And her panties. What the hell had she been thinking? She shifted restlessly from one foot to the other. The movement rubbed her bare breasts against the fabric of her coat in a not so subtle reminder. It was Hudson, and the fantasy he’d described the night before, that had her arriving at his penthouse wearing nothing but heels, a coat, and a smile. Well, at least the heels and the coat. The smile was beginning to waiver.
She’d come up with the idea when he’d given her his key. It had seemed like a fabulous plan at the time, and much less daring than strolling down Whacker Drive au naturel. But now that she was standing in his elevator, she wasn’t so sure she could pull it off.
A horrified gasp escaped her lips as another thought crossed her mind. What if Nick had spent the night and was still there? The image of Hudson offering to take her coat while his little brother sat eating his cereal at the breakfast bar had her reconsidering the entire plan. She’d decided a return trip to the lobby restroom was her safest bet when the elevator doors slid open. A low growl that sounded more animal than human echoed from the rear of the penthouse.
Hudson.
Without a second thought, Allie dropped the bag and hurried to the master bedroom. She found him in the throes of a nightmare, writhing on the bed. His neck was arched and his face contorted.
Bile rose in her throat. She couldn’t bear to see him hurting, and whatever haunted his sleep was causing him pain as real as any physical blow. “Hudson,” was all she managed to choke out.
He moaned and shifted restlessly, his legs tangling with the sheet.
“Don’t leave,” he groaned. For a moment she thought he was talking to her but then she realized he was pleading with someone in his sleep. His head thrashed back and forth.
This had to stop. She had to bring him back from whatever dark place he was in. She climbed onto the bed and knelt beside him. “Hudson,” she said, louder this time. Her hand went to his shoulders and she gave him a gentle shake. “It’s Allie. Wake up.”
Hudson jerked and his eyes opened. “Allie?” The sound of his voice, hoarse as if he’d been screaming, gripped her heart, and a hot tear slid down her cheek. He blinked up at her, confused, but after a minute it seemed as though a fog lifted. “What’s the matter, what’s wrong?”
“You were having a nightmare.”
He sat up, resting his elbows on his knees and dropping his face into his hands. The muscles in his arms and legs corded with the tension that gripped his entire frame.
Allie waited until she heard his erratic breathing begin to slow. “If you want to talk about it . . .”
“I don’t.”
She knew he wanted her to let it go, but the image of him writhing in pain was too fresh. If there was any way to reach him, to help him through this, she had to try. “It’s not the first time this has happened. Maybe if you talk to someone . . .”
“I said drop it,” he barked. His harsh tone made her flinch. Immediately, Hudson’s features softened. “I’m sorry, Allie. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
“It’s okay.” She reached out to touch him but, unsure if she should, dropped her hand. “I love you, Hudson. Whatever is doing this to you, I want to help.”
“I know you do.” He shoved both hands through his hair. “Just let me handle this my way.”
Allie nodded even though she didn’t agree. Clearly Hudson’s way of dealing with the issue wasn’t working. But Allie had only been back in his life a little over twenty-four hours. It would take time to get him to open up to her, time she was more than willing to give him. And when he was ready, she’d be waiting. Whatever haunted his dreams, they would deal with it together.
Slowly the last remnants of the nightmare left him and Hudson began to visibly relax. After several long, quiet moments, something else occurred to him. His head shot up and his alarmed gaze met hers. “How did you get here?”
“Max drove me.”
“Good. I’m assigning him to you full time until this situation is resolved.”
“Don’t you think that’s a little extreme?”
“No, not when it comes to your safety, Alessandra.” She opened her mouth to speak but he gently cupped her chin and closed it. “This isn’t up for debate,” he said. The decisiveness in his tone was impossible to miss.
On any other day, under any other circumstances, Allie would have had plenty to say about his need for control running dangerously into the Neanderthal zone. But he was obviously worried about her safety. It was etched in the lines that marred his beautiful face. And after what she’d just witnessed, the last thing she wanted to do was add to the stress he was already feeling.
“Fine, but just until the police close the case.”
He eyed her speculatively for a moment, no doubt finding it hard to believe she’d agreed without a fight, before flinging back the sheet and climbing out of bed. “Well, if that’s settled,” he said, standing up and stretching his arms high above his head. “Feed me, woman. If I’m to be subjected to elf duties, I can’t do it on an empty stomach.” It wasn’t until Allie stood that he noticed her attire. He cocked his head to one side. “Why are you still wearing your coat?”
She felt her face turn bright red, although for the life of her she had no idea why she was suddenly so embarrassed “Oh, um . . .”
Realization dawned and Hudson grinned from ear to ear. “Why Miss Sinclair, you didn’t come to my penthouse wearing nothing but your birthday suit and a cashmere coat, did you?”
Her hands went instinctively to the lapels, pulling them more tightly closed. “Well . . . I . . . you . . .”
His blue eyes glowed with mixture of amusement and astonishment, but that wasn’t what drew her stare. It was the hard ridge of his arousal straining against the front of his drawstring pants that commanded her full attention. “Why the hell didn’t you say something sooner?”
Before she could form an answer he pounced, tackling her to the bed.
Allie laughed as he rolled her beneath him. “I take it you approve?”
The buttons of her coat opened one by one under his dexterous fingers, and within seconds she lay exposed to his hungry gaze. “Damn right I approve.” He dipped his head and fluttered his tongue across her nipple.
Her breath caught as the sensation echoed throughout her core. “I thought you were hungry?”
His eyes flicked up to hers. The look he gave her could have scorched timber. “Starved,” he said, before sucking the taut peak into his mouth.
***
Allie sat on the floor amid rolls of foil paper, ribbons, and tape. She’d just added the finishing touches to the box that held Harper’s gift and was taking a moment to admire her handiwork.
“You know I had an entirely different idea for that ribbon when I bought it.”
Allie looked across the living room to where Hudson stood, hanging the last of the ornaments on the tree. They’d spent the first half of the day trimming the tree together, but after lunch she’d left him to his own devices and set up an impromptu wrapping station in the middle of the floor.
“Behave. We are seriously behind schedule thanks to this morning’s delay.”
He paused with his hand in midair and lifted a brow. “Delay?”
“Granted it was an amazingly mind-blowing delay, but still.”
He chuckled. “Are you familiar with the television show
Friends
, Alessandra?”
“I’d think long and hard about making a Monica joke if I were you.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it. Especially not after that obvious innuendo.” His back was to her as he hung the last ornament, but she could tell by the sound of his voice that he was smiling. She loved this side of him, so relaxed and playful. And for the hundredth time that day she vowed to do anything to ease the suffering she’d witnessed that morning.
“Would you like to put the star on top?” he asked.
“It’s your home, Hudson. You should do the honors.”
“Yes, but it’s our tree.”
Our tree
. She liked the sound of that. So much so she couldn’t hide the ridiculous grin that spread across her face as she clamored to her feet and made her way to where he stood, holding the gold star.
“What are you smiling about?”
“You. Us. This.”
“How very specific.”
“I’m happy. An emotion I didn’t think was possible this holiday.”
He handed her the star and went to fetch one of the dining room chairs. “Speaking of the holidays,” he began. His tone was meant to be light but it sounded almost nervous. “I was wondering . . .”
“Yes?”
Hudson set the chair down beside her. “I was wondering if you’d like to spend the holidays with me and Nick. I mean, it won’t be anything as elaborate as what you’re probably used to, but we could go out, or have dinner here, open presents.” He shrugged. “That sort of thing.”
She’d never seen him so flustered. It was downright adorable. “Sounds perfect. I’d love to spend the holidays with you and Nick.”
He smiled, then offered his hand to steady her as she climbed onto the chair. She still couldn’t reach the top. The tree hadn’t looked nearly this big at the lot. Of course there it had been in the shadow of one that stood fifty-feet tall. She stretched on tiptoe to reach the top and had no sooner set it in place when she lost her balance. Hudson caught her as she fell back into his arms. He held her cradled against his chest, rather like a groom carrying a bride across a threshold. She laughed at her own clumsiness and braced herself for Hudson’s inevitable quip.
But when she met his gaze she found his expression somber. “It would have killed me if you’d married him today.”
His ardent declaration and the thought of how close she came to losing him forever caused a lump to form in her throat. Her fingertips stroked his cheek. “I love you, Hudson.”
He dipped his head, kissing her sweetly, almost reverently, before setting her on her feet. “So, what’s next on the never-ending list?”
She smiled. In spite of his Grinchlike exterior, Hudson was enjoying himself. He was just too proud to admit it. Or maybe he just enjoyed teasing her. Either way, she was having more fun than she’d had in years. “I need to put the last batch of cookies in the oven. Why don’t you build the pyramid?”
“Bossy little thing, aren’t you?” he said dryly. “Perhaps I’ll put that ribbon to good use after all.”
“If that was supposed to be a deterrent, it failed.” She sashayed to the kitchen, swinging her hips in an exaggerated motion. The groan from the dining room confirmed it hadn’t gone unnoticed.
Allie shook various colors of sugar crystals onto the last batch of cookies and then placed the tray in the oven. When she turned back around Hudson was sitting at the dining room table, sorting the delicate wood carvings now piled in front of him. As she watched him assemble the base of the pyramid, she was struck by how the scene would look to any outsider. Hudson working on a project while she fussed about in the kitchen. It was downright domestic, and so. . . . so . . . She searched for the right word to complete her thought before finally settling on normal, because this was what normal couples did on the weekend. It felt right, the two of them spending a quiet Saturday together, and yet strange. They had an undeniable connection, but there was still so much they didn’t know about each other. Even more she didn’t know about him.
Images from earlier that morning flooded her mind. To the rest of the world Hudson Chase might have seemed the always-in-control CEO, master of not only his own destiny, but so many others as well. Underneath that perfect exterior, however, was a man with demons that surfaced when he was asleep and at his most vulnerable. Having seen the effects firsthand made her desperate to help him. But to do that, she’d have to get him to open up to her, and that would take time. Based on what little she knew, she suspected it had to do with some trauma from his childhood, something even worse than what he’d already shared. But what could be worse than losing his mother to a drug overdose and his younger brother to a system that shuttled him from one foster home to another?
“What are you thinking about over there?” he asked.
Allie met his curious stare. “Hmm?”
“You’re frowning. Is there some kitchen crisis that needs to be averted?”
She gave a small laugh and shuffled the decorating supplies on the granite counter. “No, just wondering if I bought enough icing for the cookies.”
Hudson shook his head and smiled as he turned his attention back to the small pyramid taking shape on the table in front of him. The second tier was in place and he was about to add the third. “You do realize there will only be the three of us?”
“Yes, I know that.” She rolled her eyes, knowing full well he couldn’t see. “I just want to make this special for Nick. And you,” she added quietly.
His gaze flicked up to meet hers and his eyes softened. “It will be special because you’re here. The rest of this,” he waved his hand vaguely through the air, “while appreciated, is inconsequential.”
A feeling of warmth spread through her. “Thank you, but I happen to like all of this, so get building,” she teased.
“Ribbon, Alessandra. Plenty of it left.”
“Bring it on, Chase.” She laughed. “But after you’ve finished your work.” Leaning her hip against the counter, she watched as he placed tiny figurines on each level. As he did, the expression on his face changed. Gone was the devious grin that had accompanied his delicious threat, and in its place was something much more innocent. Hudson had always seemed so much older than his twenty-nine years, but in that moment it was if he were a young boy again, marveling at the decoration his parents had put on display.
“Is it like the one you used to have?” Her voice was hesitant. As much as she wanted to know about his past, she didn’t want to push him to a place he wasn’t ready to revisit.