Release: New Adult Sport Romance (Fire and Ice) (29 page)

How do I escape this? I have no ride, and Kaleb is about to spend an hour or more signing his poster chest for girls who want to do their own body shot. No way can I watch that.

Kaleb pulls me into a hug. “Just remember that was one of your best friends, and she loves you. We weren’t thinking, I swear. It wasn’t how it looked.”

I tense in his embrace as my stomach threatens to expel its contents. I want to believe it was nothing, but evil jealousy has invaded my mind. I push him away and shake my head. I know he sees the tears struggling to fall. Anguish floods his face as rage brews in my belly. He says, “Babe, I love you more than anything. Nothing happened between us. Please, don’t let this hurt you.”

I nod because words fail me and am saved from more by Casey. She punches Gretchen hard in the arm and pushes Kaleb aside. Her voice is stern. “You two go sign your damn posters.” She pulls me out of the chair by my hands and says, “Come with me.” Jason, Megan, and Nick are in the aisle, and they flank me as if they’re my bodyguards. The room is still dark, and I avoid any eyes that watch us leave. I hold my head high as if we’re just leaving early to avoid the crowd.

Without a word they walk me to the elevator. The moment the door closes Casey pulls me in a hug, and I let the tears fall. Megan pats my hair, and I can tell they have a lot to say, but everyone remains quiet for my sake.

My boots punish the tile floor with their hard heels as we walk through the lobby. Nick opens the door for us, and cold air slaps me in the face. I welcome it. Frost sparkles on the asphalt as we walk to Jason’s truck.

Casey can’t stay quiet. “I can’t believe they did that. Fucking Gretchen.”

I hear myself defend them. “They didn’t know it would be in the movie.” What’s wrong with me? Gretchen licked a half-naked Kaleb in a bar, and he let her. My stomach lurches.

“No, I’m sure they didn’t,” Casey says. “I’m just so pissed that she didn’t consider the consequences of her drunk actions.”

Megan says, “They both looked really drunk.” She sighs. “I know it’s not an excuse, but…”

“But nothing. They both suck right now,” says Casey.

We’re at Jason’s truck, and Nick kisses my cheek. “Kaleb loves you. He was being a stupid guy. You know that, right?”

“I know.”

Megan gives me a hug, too. “Text me if you need anything.”

I smile at her. “I will. Thanks for rescuing me, guys.”

Casey gets in first and lets me sit by the door. The cold leather seat seeps through my jeans, and I lean my face against the chilly window.

Jason starts the engine and asks, “Where do you want to go?”

Good question, certainly not the party. “Home.”

Casey speaks. “Look, I know nothing happened between them. Gretchen would have told me. She can be a bitch, but she would never do anything to hurt you. She knew you weren’t over Kaleb.” She turns the heat down and adjusts the vent. “Besides, Kaleb was still in love with you. It didn’t mean anything. “

“I know that in my heart. But I feel so humiliated.” I hold my hand up to the heat vent to warm my cold fingers.

Jason says, “Don’t. Think of it as acting. They were playing a part for a film. You know it wasn’t their idea. The producer was probably completely sober and used their drunken state to his advantage.”

When he puts it that way it seems a little better. Not good by any stretch, but better. I say, “Thanks. That helps.”

When we pull into my driveway Casey asks, “Do you want us to stay for a while? I could sleep over and watch movies with you.”

It makes me smile. “No, but you’re so sweet to offer. I’ll be okay.” I look at Jason. “Thanks for the ride.”

He reaches across Casey to put his hand on my arm. “Anytime. I’ll wait until you get inside.”

I slam the truck door and hear a solid clunk. The bright floodlights cast an ominous shadow of me as I walk up the stairs. I pull out my key and stare at it for a moment. When I get inside I flash to the memory of Tara’s hand when she dropped Kaleb’s car key. The crack on the ice sounds in my head, and I remember.

I’m handcuffed to the bench beside the ice. It’s cast iron, and there’s no way I can move it. Right now I would drag it with me into the warm house if I could. Lucas made a backyard rink so I could get more ice time, and this bench is where he sits to coach me.

But he’s not coaching me now. I’m being punished. A drunken version of Lucas thought I needed to be taught a lesson. What lesson it is, I’m not sure. I did everything right. I made the Olympic team, yet he’s angry. I fear I’ll be out here all night while he sleeps off his scotch.

The lesson I’m learning right now is how to stay warm with limited mobility. Lucas kicked me so hard my ribs scream in torment with every normal breath I take. I think he broke them. I almost pant as I try not to jar them with movement.

I’m afraid to sleep and freeze to death, so I do leg lifts, clench my butt, and anything else I can think of to keep blood flowing without causing too much pain.

I know I have to stop this. This relationship isn’t normal, and I’m in trouble. His anger scares me, and the way he beat me today went too far.

I should just walk away. Go home and leave Lucas. Don’t be that girl. It should be easy, right? But it’s not. He tells me I’ll kill him if I do. He says he can’t live without me, and he would find a way to die if he couldn’t have me.

My shivering gets violent and it hurts. My body is too tired to exercise more. Tears fall as I fight to get warm.

I used to love him so much that his dying would have killed me too. I wanted to believe him when he said to me “no more,” that he meant it. That he was sorry for hurting me.

But I’ve realized that isn’t true. Tomorrow Lucas will wake up and be ashamed of what he’s done to me this time. He’ll pull me into his arms and kiss me everywhere. Tell me I’m the most beautiful girl and lavish me with affection. He’ll wash me in the bath and ask me to love him. And I will because I’m too afraid to do otherwise. To set him off again.

Our sex will be tender, and when he comes he’ll scream my name. He’ll treat me as if this is what we do, and nothing bad ever happens between us.

Lucas is so broken, and I used to believe I was the one that could fix him. We both believed it to be true, and I needed to be strong. To be his star and make it all right.

If only he would wake up and come get me. I’ve stopped shivering now, and I’m so tired. I’m no longer cold, and it would be so easy to sleep. I shake my head as a vision appears. No, it’s not a vision. It’s Lucas. He stumbles toward me in just his briefs.

“Get yourself inside,” he says. He throws something at me, and I hear it crack on the ice. The key. But it’s too far away to reach.

“Lucas!” I hear the door slam and he’s gone.

I hug myself and think about how I almost died that night. Hypothermic and confused, I could have easily fallen asleep. But something in me snapped and forced me to fight, to try to stay alive. I figured out a way to save myself. I managed to get my pants off and throw them out to reach the key, and drag it all back in with my feet. If I hadn’t, I surely would have died.

The next day he did what he always did. He apologized and said he would never hurt me again. This time I refused to believe him and plotted how to leave. That night I waited for him to fall asleep and called my mother to come get me. I saved myself.

I look at the key I’ve been clenching in my hand so tightly it hurts. I hold the key. I control my happiness. Pride and jealousy can keep me captive, or I can release the lock that binds me.

I sink into my couch and pull a pillow against my chest. I know Kaleb loves me, and so does Gretchen. What I saw on that screen wasn’t real. What’s real is the way Kaleb continues to empower me by helping me overcome my fears and reach my goals. He has taught me to love with passion, and to let someone love me without demands or shame.

I know what I need to do.

Chapter 51

Grabbing my coat and keys, I walk out the door. The clunk of one single lock is like a signal to announce I’m ready. The sound of my boots on the asphalt beat out a strong cadence as I make my way to my truck. I climb in and look ahead at the road from my high position. I have the power to make my life what I want it to be.

I pull out my phone and send Kaleb a text. “U done signing yet? On my way to ur house.”

“Soon. Wait in my room?”

I type in a reply. “Kk.”

I shift into drive and am about to turn onto the bumpy back road when another text comes in from Kaleb. I sneak a look at it and read, “I love u. I love u so much it hurts. Please let us be okay.”

I smile to myself and focus on avoiding the potholes. We will be.

When I get to Kaleb’s house, cars are parked along both sides of the road. It’s already a big party, and the noise penetrates through my closed windows. I text Kaleb to ease his mind. “I love u 2.”

Music is loud, and a Great Big World’s “Say Something” is playing. -I hum along, and on one line my throat gets tight. I’ll never give up on you, Kaleb. My emotions are on the edge, and I can’t wait to see him.

His house is like a big lodge. It’s built in a log-cabin style with a large wrap-around porch. When I push through the oversized door, the noise is even louder. I enter a great room. It’s two stories high with old skis and boards hanging down from the ceiling like one huge mobile. Right now they sway to the music.

People dance on the wood floor. Bill is the first person to notice me. Even though he’s dancing he yells to me. “Lori! Where’s Kaleb?”

“He’ll be here in a bit. He’s still signing posters.” I walk by him and toward the kitchen, knowing that’s where I’ll find a cup for the keg. After the night I’ve had, I think a beer would taste good. I find the package of Solo cups and write my name on one with a Sharpie.

The odor of the pen makes me think about Kaleb signing posters and hundreds of girls flirting with him while he does. Yeah, I’m sure I wouldn’t have enjoyed that no matter what had happened. I grab a cup for him and put his name on it. I guess he’ll have had enough of writing by the time he gets here.

The door to the deck is right off the kitchen. It’s open and I wander through to find the keg. There’s a breeze, and it blows my hair away from my face. Megan calls out, “Lori!” She stands with Casey, and I walk over.

Casey says, “I’m surprised to see you here. You’re okay?” She touches my arm in her caring way.

“I am. You guys were right. I trust them and know it means nothing.” When it comes out of my mouth in words, I acknowledge it to be true.

Megan says, “Wow. I’m so impressed. I’m not sure I could be so strong.”

“I think you might surprise yourself, Megan. I really do.” I give her a knowing smile and see she understands. I’m not sure if she’s an abuse survivor, but she certainly comprehends the significance of my words.

“I’m going to get two beers and wait for Kaleb in his room.” I wink at them and walk away. I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone but Kaleb right now. I pump the keg, and pressure builds. I tilt a cup, and the amber liquid fills it quickly with minimal foam.

I take a sip and let the slightly metallic flavor of cheap beer surround my tongue. The chill going down my throat further calms my nerves. I fill Kaleb’s cup and move back to the house. I see a few people I know but only give them a quick hello and keep moving.

The bedrooms are on the second floor. There’s a rope tied across the stairway to keep people from going up. I duck under it and climb. Three doors are on each side of the hall, and a loft is at the end. I find Kaleb’s door and let myself in with my key.

I detect a hint of his unique scent and breathe it in. A pile of tees and button-up shirts are on the bed. Apparently he couldn’t decide what to wear, and it makes me smile.

I set our beers down on his dresser and pick up a shirt. The worn cotton of the navy tee carresses my hands as I fold it. I look at the pile and find I want to fold them all. The simple chore calms me.

Cheers erupt downstairs, and I guess Kaleb is home. It sounds like Gretchen and Cooper arrived as well. I’m not sure how long it will take for him to get upstairs, so I grab a hanger to start on the flannel and Oxford shirts.

Within minutes, footsteps pound down the hall toward me. I turn to the door in anticipation.

Kaleb steps in, shuts the door with his foot, and quickly comes to me. He takes my face in his hands. “I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine how awful that was for you. Please, forgive me?”

I hold on to his arms as his eyes bore into me. “I have.”

He pulls me into a hug. He shakes slightly, and I realize he was afraid to see me. He drops his hands and turns away. I watch him walk toward his bed. He says, “You folded these?”

“Yeah, I couldn’t help myself.” I wring my hands.

“Thank you.” He takes the pile of tee shirts and puts them in a drawer.

I can tell he’s stalling. But I’m patient and wait for him to speak. I pick up my beer.

The drawer thumps shut, and he turns to look at me. Agony flashes in his eyes.

“So, that night in the bar. I was talking to Gretchen about us. I was miserable, thinking about how stupid I was to have lost you. Drinking shots of tequila seemed like a good way to get past my suffering.”