Relish: A Vicious Feast Book 2 (5 page)

“Oh, don’t sugarcoat it. You broke my heart, you asshole.” The anger I’d been waiting for finally came. Everything I’d wanted to say but never got a chance to spilled out now. “You pulled me into your sick and twisted mind games. Getting me to like you to the point where I actually considered renewing my contract only to drop the bomb that you’re in love with someone else. This someone else who’s already in love with your cousin. That’s low, Luka. I didn’t think you were capable of something like that.”

Luka entwined his fingers together as if in prayer. “I’m capable of many things. But I’m man enough to admit when I’m wrong. When I’ve made a terrible mistake.” He met my gaze again. “You don’t have to believe me, but I promise you, I’m working on getting better. Being better.”

“And how’s that supposed to affect me?” I took a step forward. My anger gave me the courage and strength I needed. “I’m done with Vicious. After defending my introspective at the end of the week, I’m hopping on a plane and starting my round the world trip, which Yana actually paid for because of all those promo photos she made me take. So, thank her for me.”

Fear flickered in Luka’s intense gaze. “You can’t leave.”

“What do you mean I can’t leave?” Flashbacks of Luka throwing a tantrum in the music room because I left Lunar Manor for a day taunted me.

He pushed off the couch and stood a foot away from me in three long strides. “Don’t do this. Please.”

The desperation in his tone confused me. “What? Live my life? Come on, Luka. You know I’ve always wanted to travel the world and take pictures.”

His hands circled my arms so roughly that I flinched at the cold rings digging into my skin. “You don’t understand,” he hissed. “You can’t leave.”

“Luka, you’re hurting me.”

His grip didn’t ease. We stood frozen for a long minute. I waited with baited breath for what he’d do next. Running away seemed like such a good idea from the way his gaze blazed. His lips disappeared into a tight line as he looked me in the eye.

Instead of the violence I expected, like a storm suddenly dissipating, Luka dropped to his knees in a loud thud in front of me. He slid his hands down my arms until he reached my wrists. Unshed tears turned his eyes a striking shade of blue when he looked up at me. He brought his lips to my open palm, kissing each one in turn. Then he moved his hands to my waist, pulling me forward until he buried his face into my stomach. Soon the cotton of my shirt dampened.

Steeling myself with a deep breath, I brought my fingers to tangle in his soft curls, the strands so much longer now. At the back of my mind, I caught myself thinking he needed a trim. I found compassion in the tender thought.

“Luka,” I said softly. “You know I have to go.”

“No,” he said to my stomach.

I bowed until my chin touched my chest so I could stare at the top of his head. “I don’t have a place with Vicious anymore. I’ve completed my project. There’s nothing else for me to do with the band.”

“But you don’t have to stay because of the band.”

“What are you saying?”

His eyes swimming in tears met mine. “Stay…for me.” 

Tilting my face toward the ceiling, I closed my eye and inhaled.

C
HAPTER
F
IVE
P
HOTOS

The robustness of coffee jerked me awake. I sat up and squinted at the gray light slanting into my bedroom. My hair stuck to half my face as I watched the snow fall outside. I raked the strands back with trembling fingers, shivering despite the sweat covering my skin. 

“You awake?” Larry called from the kitchen.

“Yeah,” I answered absentmindedly. I should have known my interlude with Luka was nothing but my subconscious messing with me. Luka wouldn’t be such a crybaby in real life. His reputation as a rock star would shatter otherwise. I snorted. Some rock star he turned out to be, pining after a girl he couldn’t have while toying with the emotions of another. Well, maybe that was the most rock star thing about him. God, I almost wished for the weird chanting dreams or the dreams with the guy chasing me with a knife. Almost.

I swung my legs over the edge of the bed until the pads of my feet touched the freezing floor. The hiss left my lips before I thought to bite it back. The sound summoned a worried Larry. He hovered, not speaking as if he waited for me to fall apart. His looming presence choked me.

“What?” I bark at him. Totally unfair to treat him like crap this early in the day, but I did just wake up from something stellar. A part of me wished I could crawl back into bed and find Luka again. Jesus, was he really crying and begging me to stay with him? A dream within a dream. Bizarre. I was on the brink of going crazy. That had got to be it because how else could I explain all this.

Larry eyed me, unaffected by my deepening scowl. He pushed the sheepskin booties my way. I grunted my thanks and got my toes nice and toasty in them. Then he handed me my robe. I stabbed my arms through the sleeves and practically cut off circulation when I tied it at the waist. My clothes from yesterday scratched my skin, no longer feeling like soft cotton and stretchy jeans.

“I didn’t hear you get in last night,” Larry finally spoke when I pushed off the bed, a wobble in my step. Tingles ran down my legs from the vertical blood rush. A sudden headache I hadn’t felt upon waking slammed into me. I massaged my forehead as I moved past my roommate/occasional lover.

“Arrived at around three AM, I think.” I moved my thick feeling tongue around in my mouth. My saliva tasted particularly nasty this morning. I glided my fingers from my forehead to my lips. “Why do I feel like I’m hung over?”

Larry followed me into the kitchen. He went to work fixing me breakfast and a cup of coffee while I slumped into a chair, automatically cradling my head in my hands, wishing I could scuttle into a corner and die.

“Maybe because you only got six hours of sleep?” Larry handed me the cup first. I practically clawed it out of his hands. He chuckled. “You’ve been working really hard these last couple of weeks. Maybe this is your body telling you it’s had enough of the abuse.”

Each sip of coffee banished the cold that invaded my insides when I’d woken. The missing snow should have tipped me off, but everything seemed so real, down to his sweet spicy scent. His rings still dug into my skin. The scary part was if I hadn’t woken up when I did, I think I would have said yes to his demands. Could I really allow myself to live with the band again? To be that close to Luka?

“What?” I whipped my head up.

“Whoa!” Larry pushed a plate of pancakes and Canadian bacon my way. “You’re zoning out. If you didn’t tell me to wake you up no matter what last night, I would have let you sleep in.”

It took half my stack of pancakes to fully grasp what Larry had meant. “I would have been seriously pissed if you hadn’t.”

He ate at a more leisurely pace than I did. The guy even had time to read a newspaper. “You nervous?”

As if in response to his question, my stomach twisted into a pretzel. I dropped my fork and groaned. “What if they think the pictures are hideous? What if I fail?” I gulped down the rest of my coffee, made sweet by the maple syrup still coating my throat. I grimaced. “What if I don’t graduate?”

“Hey, hey.” Larry reached across the table and took my cold hand into the warmth of his. “I didn’t mean to cause a panic attack. Look at me.” It took me a second to actually comply, afraid of what I’d see there. I found nothing but calm staring back. “The pictures are magnificent. The best you’ve ever done.”

“You think so?” His words not only brought hope, but they seemed to banish the tension headache I’d been doing my best to ignore.

He added a dash of a smile to his nod. “Looking at your pictures made me feel like I got a peek into the world of Vicious. Like I was actually there. That’s rare for me. As you know, I can get really jaded sometimes.”

“I call bullshit.” But I grinned anyway.

“You’ve got talent, kid,” he quoted a line from one of those sappy black and white movies he’d made me sit through. I always fell asleep at the hour mark.

Feeling way too mushy—especially just after my Luka dream—I untangled my fingers from his and masked my discomfort by asking for another cup. Larry complied, like he’d always done with everything I’d asked for the entire time I completed my project. A meaty fist squeezed my heart when I reminded myself that nothing would come of a relationship with him. Someone else less broken deserved him, someone he could bring home to his blue-blooded family and fit right in. Someone who wore summer dresses and not an eye patch. Someone who could give him the beautiful children he’d been wanting but never had the courage to bring up around me. I saw it every time we passed a mother pushing a stroller. He’d get this dreamy look in his eyes.  

Losing my appetite, I excused myself from the table and went straight to the shower. I had to check on the pictures, make sure I still felt right about the way I had arranged them last night in the light of day.

I couldn’t thank the universe enough that Larry had classes all day. He’d headed out before I finished my shower. I couldn’t handle having him with me at the Showcase. It felt too intimate to be sharing the moment with him.

All bundled up, I left the apartment with my head down and my hands in my pockets. A bracing wind pushed me toward the exhibition hall. I lengthened my strides to avoid as much of the snowfall as I could in the ten minutes the trek took. I shouldn’t have downed the fourth cup of coffee before I left the apartment. I’d lost all feeling in my fingers, having pulled them out of my pockets to grip the scarf around my neck.

I shoved through the Showcase doors to get away from the biting cold. Whoever said spring was on the way clearly lied based on the sheets of snow falling outside. A gaggle of giggling girls pushed past me. One bumped into my shoulder and didn’t bother apologizing. I would have cussed her out if she hadn’t disappeared with her friends among the crowd.

For almost ten in the morning, the hall was surprisingly packed. The dean must be happy with the turnout. Groups of students milled about in front of each exhibit. Squeals of some sort further into the hall reached me. Not paying much attention, I untangled my scarf and pulled off my gloves, stuffing them both into my bag. I’d been stomping my boots on the mat when Silvia ran toward me.

“You won’t believe what’s happened,” she said, a maniacal look about her. In my worry over my project, I’d forgotten that she’d mentioned covering the Showcase for the Daily Gossip. I gave myself a moment to realize I didn’t need to pull my camera out and start taking pictures. Larry had already assigned someone else. Today, I was a participant. A heavy, weird feeling settled in my chest. 

“Do I even want to know?” I asked nonchalantly to hide my mounting fear. I focused on adjusting the strap of my bag, refusing to fall into the trap set by my insecurity. The pictures were fine. I had nothing to worry about.

“I think you should start worrying.”

“What?” My heart pumped so fast, I couldn’t breathe right.

“Come on.” Silvia grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the back…where my pictures hung.

The squeals I’d noticed earlier turned into screams the closer we got. The sound pushed at my chest like an invisible mass. I’d only heard screaming like this once before: when I took promo shots of the band for their guesting at Crescent City Today. Fans lined the streets, waiting for Luka to arrive. The screams were deafening as he stepped out of the SUV.

“What’s going on here?” I halted in my tracks, taking the petite Silvia with me.

She whirled around and said above the din, “Your pictures, of course.”

Sure, like I could have anticipated the uproar. My gut folded into itself. The fans didn’t like the project. Someone must have spread the word and they came in droves to stone me for defiling their beloved Vicious. My knees shook so badly I couldn’t move for fear of stumbling. I already had depth perception issues to worry about, I couldn’t add wobbly steps onto that.

I swallowed. “What do you mean my pictures?”

As if confirming my fears, Silvia explained. “Apparently, someone tweeted photos of your project and it went viral. Fans started pouring in from all over the city.”

“They don’t like it?”

“Are you kidding?” Her shock confused me. “They’ve had to carry out two girls who’ve fainted already. It’s awesome!”

I tilted my head to the side, still not getting it. “You’re enjoying this way too much.”

“I think you have to see for yourself.”

Silvia didn’t give me time to lock my knees. With surprising strength from her tiny frame, she pulled me through the throng that got thicker the closer we got to the back. For a second I worried for the pictures. What if someone tore them off the wall?

Concern for my art propelled me. I elbowed my way forward—ignoring the curses lobbed at me—until a line of burly men prevented me from reaching the pictures. I opened my mouth to identify myself as the artist when I recognized the suits. If I thought my heart couldn’t beat any faster, boy was I wrong.

A familiar gruff voice called my name.

I craned my neck in search of who spoke. The crush of people didn’t make it easy. Camera phones were out. The strobe light effect of popping flashes blinded me.

“Over here!”

“There!” Silvia pointed at the end of the line of burly bodyguards.

Eli, in all his bald goodness, grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side. I didn’t complain. His manhandling was a welcome change from the sea of fans trying to get a glimpse of the pictures. I slanted my gaze to the wall. All the pictures were accounted for. A metal guardrail that wasn’t there the night before had been put up five meters away from the wall and the bodyguards stood in front of that, creating a second layer of protection.

“Insane, right?” Silvia said close to my ear.

“You’re here,” I said to Eli when he ushered us behind the metal fence, away from the crowd. Silvia took that moment to get up close and personal with the pictures, much to the displeasure of the fans. She showed her press badge and subsequently flipped them off. The bodyguards didn’t like that since it caused a brand new surge they had to push back against.