Remember Love (3 page)

"Are we going
to do anything besides eat?" He studied her profile.

"Tonight’s
formal night. Tomorrow there’ll be games and stuff like that." She was
careful to keep her face forward, careful to not notice the alluring scent of
dreams and hopes that accompanied him.

"I'm sorry I
surprised you yesterday."

Taken aback, she
plucked at a wrinkle in her dress. "You're fine. I, uh, never expected to
see you again."

"Why is
that?" He looked over at her, and his eyes were dark in the dim lighting.

"The way I
left you."
And kept your baby a secret.

"I see."
He paused, and she wondered if he really did understand, or if he said it to
avoid conflict. Not that there could be much to argue about anymore. They lived
separate lives. They'd grown into adulthood without each other.

No one bothered
looking back.

Except now that
he sat beside her, longing assailed her. Something about him still drew her.
He’d grown better looking, the reckless look in his eyes replaced by a
seriousness she couldn’t decipher. Attraction put her nerves on edge.

Its annoying
presence pushed her to speak and break the spell.

"I've been
trying to figure out why you'd come to Kat's Korner. You must've guessed I'd be
there," she said.

"Should've
guessed." His gaze dropped to her lips for a moment, then returned to her
eyes. In a detached voice, he said, "Your store interests me."

Attraction fled
as Katrina’s neck prickled. "Really?" The air seemed warm suddenly,
suffocating. Her finger hooked the smooth collar at her throat, moved it away
from her clammy skin.

"I’ve done a
lot of business besides real estate. Buying and selling. Especially small
businesses."

"What does
that have to do with me?" Her hand dropped to her lap as the meaning
behind his words registered. She scanned the laughing crowd around her,
ignorant in their revelry, unaware that the man beside her just might have the
power to destroy all she’d worked for, lived for.

All she had left.

No one noticed them
though. The restaurant staff carried food to the buffet tables; Spicy Chicken
Parmesan, shrimp nestled in creamy Alfredo. The tangy scents of dinner urged
people into finding their name cards and taking their seats.

She wished she
could stand and find her seat. Leave Alec behind the same way he'd so callously
left their hometown. No forwarding address. No good-bye.

"It’s
crossed my mind you might be interested in selling," he said.

She straightened.
Was he serious? Trying to drum up business at their reunion? She lifted a brow.
"Has it now?"

"Are you
interested?"

Oh, he was
smooth. She met his curiously flat gaze. "No."

Standing, she
deliberately placed her trembling hands against her sides. Bile rose in her
throat, fear twisted her stomach, but she walked away without looking back.

She scanned the
room for Rachel, spotting her at a table with a few stragglers bunched around
her. Katrina forced her legs forward until she reached the table. Relief
loosened her limbs when she saw her place card next to Rachel’s.

It had been
foolish to come to this dinner. The last thing she wanted was to make
conversation with virtual strangers, to listen to them talk about their
families and pull out pictures of their kids. Years ago, their small class had
been close-knit. Now everyone had changed. She had changed.

Hiding out in her
store for the last few years, losing contact with all but her occasional
customers.

She sat slowly
beside Rachel and tried to forget about feeling alone in a room full of happy
strangers. She focused on the conversation she’d just escaped. Did Alec want to
buy her store? Her business was too small for any kind of stocks or
shareholding. She didn’t even own her building. But she was in trouble and it
wouldn't be too hard for him to pressure her out somehow.

Maybe. Could he?
She should've taken the business course instead of letting Mom do it.

Not that she
thought Alec would force her hand with the store at first. When he found out
about Joey though, well, grief made people do horrible things. Hadn't Mom hated
the sight of her for years, all because SIDS killed her mother’s first baby? Mom
never got over that.

Abruptly, she
realized Rachel was talking to her.

"What?"

"I said
you’ve lost an earring somewhere." Rachel pointed to Katrina’s ear and
flashed a pearly white grin.

"Again?"
Katrina frowned. "I’ve only had them for a month." She looked around,
relieved that most of the ogling men had dispersed, food being more important
at the moment than a possible date.

She pulled the
lone earring from her ear and dropped it into the little black purse hanging
from her chair. A month with the same pair of earrings. That had to be a
record.

Just one more
loss to add to the list.

Mary Jane Smith
walked to the microphone stationed near the buffet tables. As the former class
president spoke, Katrina leaned close to Rachel and said, "I need to talk
to you."

The four
classmates at their table, whose faces she didn't remember, appeared enraptured
by Mary Jane’s instructions for the progression of the evening’s dinner. No one
would hear her talk to Rachel.

"I don’t
think Alec knows yet," she told Rachel quietly. "For some reason no
one has told him, or maybe he hasn’t been in town all that much. Anyhow, he
asked if I'm interested in selling Kat's Korner."

"What? Why
would he care about your little bookstore?"

"I don’t
know. Can you look him up, maybe do a little investigating in your free time?"

Rachel grinned. "You
better believe it. Word is he’s done well for himself. Shouldn’t be too hard to
find out how and what he’s all about."

"Thanks,
Rachel." Katrina felt her smile wobble. "It makes me nervous, him
being here." Her gaze skittered to where he sat at a nearby table.

Rachel covered
Katrina’s hand with her own and squeezed gently. "God has not given us a
spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. He’ll help you get
through this."

"Kat's
Korner means a lot to me."

"Of course
it does," Rachel soothed, reminding Katrina why she loved her friend so
much.

Mary Jane's voice
warbled on. Katrina latched onto the sound of it, thrusting her fears down and
away, to examine later. She leaned back in her chair and scanned the crowd. "Have
you seen Sharon?" 

"Steve told
her she couldn't come tonight." Rachel wrinkled her nose.

"You’ve got
to be kidding me. Why?"

"Take a wild
guess. He's a control freak who needs to be stopped."

Katrina frowned.
Even though nothing seemed out of the ordinary yesterday, that didn't mean
things were okay. "There's nothing we can do." She said it low, so no
one would hear. No need to start the gossip mill.

"There's
always something." Rachel plucked at her napkin and laid it on her lap as
Mary Jane stepped down from her podium. "We need a plan."

Waiters bustled
around the room. Conversations rose in volume. Katrina didn't get to ask Rachel
what kind of plan she was thinking of because the fellow students at their
table struck up a conversation with her.

Katrina tuned out
and picked at the shrimp Alfredo in front of her.

During a lull in
conversation, Rachel gestured to Katrina’s left. "Looks like your man
might be hooking up with some old buddies."

"He’s not my
man." But she looked anyway and saw Rachel was right. Alec was smiling,
looking almost relaxed. Not for long. Not if someone told him before she could.

Katrina tried to
swallow past the lump in her throat and failed. Where would she be now if she
hadn’t kept Joey from him?

There were so
many curves in life, so many twists and turns that it was impossible to tell
what led where, but of one thing she was certain. Had she never let fear goad
her into leaving Alec at the altar, Joey might still be alive.

CHAPTER
THREE

The reunion
dragged slower than a senior citizen driving through Manatee Bay. Alec shifted
in the restaurant chair.

"Man, buddy,
it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you. Did well for yourself, huh? Better
than Katrina has." After that odd comment, Mike Weston shook his head and
gulped down more wine.

His fifth glass, by
Alec’s count. Talking with Mike was tedious, especially since he insisted on
calling Alec "buddy" even though they hadn’t spoken since graduation.

Too bad Grant Harkness
was a year younger than Alec. Grant would’ve made this reunion more fun. Alec
hadn’t talked to anyone besides Grant since graduation. Now he remembered why.
With the exception of Mike, Alec’s former classmates were giving him a wide
berth. It bothered him more than he’d like to admit, this aloofness from the
people he’d grown up with.

All because of
Mr. Carmichael.

Alec stifled a
groan. The plush chair in his hotel room and his most recent issue of Forbes
would be more relaxing than this farce of a reunion.

He'd thought with
the passage of time he might possibly be welcome in his hometown. Apparently
not.

But trying to
make friends wasn’t on the agenda, he reminded himself.

Business was.

He sipped his
soda thoughtfully. Despite Mike’s laidback exterior, the president of Manatee
Bay National Bank had a shrewd mind that worked beneath the easy-going surface
he presented to the world. Alec had been trying to pry about the financial
status of businesses in town without tickling Mike’s business feelers.

Unfortunately,
Mike kept turning the conversation to Katrina.

Alec tapped his
fingers against the table. She wasn’t the focus of this trip. Despite his
earlier prying, he had no intention of buying Kat’s Korner. Why would he, when
the building was practically his? All he had to do was refuse to renew her
lease when the time came. Still, some inner demon prodded him to ask her about
selling. The look on her face had been extreme, almost bordering on anxiety.
Her reaction only reinforced his initial assessment of her yesterday.

Something bad had
happened.

He shouldn’t get
involved. He was here to verify financial soundness and possibilities of
profit, then sign on the dotted line for the building. That’s all he needed to
do before returning to New York.

"She banks
with us, you know." Mike shoveled peas into his mouth as he spoke. "Good
customer, nice lady. Everyone thinks it’s so sad what happened and all. Now
she’s on her own."

Alec kept his
face blank, though curiosity stirred. "What happened?"

Mike squinted at
him, his expression almost resembling a glare. "Two deaths in the family,
same time. For a while some speculated she'd die from the grief."

A sharp pain
spiked through Alec’s chest. Did this explain her strained face? "That’s
horrible."

Mike’s head
cocked. "Her church helped her out some. With bills and stuff."

"Katrina
goes to church?" Alec couldn’t keep the surprise from his voice. Believing
in God was something she’d always been real self-righteous about, but going to
church was a whole different matter. The Katrina he'd known was too
self-absorbed to care about mingling with others of "like faith".

"And she
helps out at the soup kitchen and visits the old folks’ home."

A knot twisted in
Alec’s stomach at the thought of Katrina’s losses. Who had died? As far as he
knew, she only had her mom. Her dad died a few years after leaving his family.

Alec’s attention
shifted to where she sat a few tables from him. He watched her eat, saw the
delicate bones of her wrist when she lifted her water for a drink. Mauve
shadows tinted the skin beneath her eyes and she didn’t smile, even though the
people around her laughed loudly.

"Is Katrina
always so pale and quiet?" he asked, turning back to Mike.

Mike looked over
at her, then back to Alec. "Not really, though it seems like she has off
days. The three year anniversary is coming up."

Alec grimaced. "It
must be tough for her."

"You’re
telling me," Mike answered, fleshy jaws chewing more meat. Around the
mouthful he said, "Manatee Bay hadn’t seen a tragedy like that in years.
If any of my kids died, I don’t know what I’d do. I can’t imagine anything worse."
The smile Mike had worn all evening seemed to disappear beneath a hard stare.

Alec’s fork
stilled in midair. He set it slowly onto his plate. "Katrina had a child?"

"Are you
acting like you don’t know about this?" Shock slackened Mike’s cheeks.

"Of course I
didn’t," Alec snapped. He didn’t like the way Mike glared at him, as if the
whole thing were his fault.

Mike’s jaw fell
open, then snapped shut. "Katrina’s mom and son died in a car accident. He
was only seven. It hit the town pretty hard. I can’t believe you didn’t know
this."

Alec’s teeth
clenched. He couldn’t wrap his mind around the image of Katrina with a child,
struggled with disbelief. The thought of her building a life with another man
slammed into his senses and left him reeling. "Where’s the dad? Why is she
by herself?"

"We all
thought you were the father." Mike’s ruddy features slowly drained of
color. "Most folks assumed you ditched her and the kid…" He cleared
his throat just as his cell phone rang. "Excuse me, Alec. I need to take
this." The table shuddered as he labored upwards and made an awkward exit.

 Alec felt his
face settling into grim lines. He set his fork down and stood. She’d let people
think he left his family? That he didn’t come to his own child’s funeral?

Never. A memory crept
through his consciousness. Third grade. Mom crying, huddled on the bathroom
floor, alone, resenting her responsibility to buy him school clothes. Angry she
had to spend money on him. She'd raised the bottle to her lips and from his
place in the hallway, he'd vowed to never make a woman regret her child or the
demands placed on her because of that child.

No, he would never
willingly leave his own son.

Answers were
falling into place, making him wish he'd sought them sooner.

She hadn’t told
him about the pregnancy because she’d betrayed him. Made love to another man
and left him slack-jawed at the altar because of it. And then had the nerve to
let people think he’d ignored his responsibilities. A heavy weight settled on
his chest. So now he knew. The plans he’d embraced, the desires to make amends
withered beneath the new information about Katrina’s son.

The real question
was why hadn't she married the father of her child?

*****

"Alec is
making a hasty retreat," Rachel commented, her full lips pursed.

"He’s
escaping." Katrina tried to ignore the tension in her belly. When he found
out about Joey, then what would he do? Try to take her business as some sort of
payback? Would he do such an immature thing? Was it even possible? Surely not.

Rachel nudged
her. "I told you not to bite the insides of your cheeks. It ruins your
mouth."

"I can’t
help it." Katrina took a deep breath and deliberately relaxed her
shoulders. "How much longer is this thing?"

"We’re only
eating tonight, so as long as you want, I suppose." Rachel glanced down at
her glittering diamond watch. "Are you leaving now?"

"I really
should. I’ll see you later." If she hurried, she could catch up to Alec
and get this over with. Her skin shrunk at the thought. 

You owe him the
truth, a small voice whispered inside. But how could she explain away her
selfishness, the blessing she’d cheated him of? Especially knowing how he felt
about his lack of a father. Now, however, might be her only chance to tell him
before he disappeared again. Sucking in a deep breath, she rushed out of the
restaurant.

Alec was just
getting into his car when Katrina came out of the building. She rushed over
before he could drive off. She tapped on the tinted passenger window and he
rolled it down, holding up a finger as he finished talking on his cell.

"Yes?"
His voice sounded distant and Katrina tried to see past his blank gaze. She
used to be able to, but now his eyes were dark holes cut into a mask of a face.

She swallowed,
mouth dry. "I wanted to talk with you."

"Here?"

"If that’s
okay?"

"Get in."

"What?"

"You want to
talk? Let’s go to my place and talk."

"I was
thinking somewhere public would be better."

"Quit acting
like a nervous virgin. Get in."

Katrina’s hands
trembled. She forced her voice to steady as she leaned forward. "I’ll
follow you to the park."

"Ride with
me, Kitty." The chill in his voice didn’t hide the fact that his hands
clamped the wheel, knuckles white. Her heart lurched. He tried to hold
everything tight inside and that had always been her undoing. She sighed and
pulled on the door handle.

The car felt like
him; cool, remote. There was a time she would have paid to ride in a car like
this. When she’d cared too much for financial security. "New car?"

"Just a
rental."

"What
happened to your bike?"

"It’s at the
hotel. I needed something with a roof for tonight."

The rumble of his
voice tugged at her memories. She fought the emotions welling inside. She bit
her lip, tightened her seatbelt. Her eyes squeezed shut. 

He had told her
he’d be back. Yelled it, his voice echoing in the sparse rectory of their
wedding chapel. Then he’d stormed out and she hadn’t seen nor heard from him
since. Now here he was, silent as a panther in his expensive suit. She couldn’t
picture the man beside her raising his voice. He was too calm, too controlled,
the facade he wore for strangers firmly in place.

When they reached
the park, Katrina shoved her purse underneath the seat before getting out. Then
they silently walked to the tree line and sat down on the peeling blue bench
that had been there before the swings and slides. Stars glittered against the
velvet backdrop of autumn sky. A cool breeze touched Katrina’s face and she
lifted her eyes to the heavens. They declared His glory, she thought, as she
inhaled the crisp, sweet air.

"Who is
Joey?" Alec’s voice intruded on the peace she’d been carefully building
inside.

She sucked in a
quick breath. He knew. Her mind raced as her hands tightened into fists. This
was it. She turned to him, uncomfortably aware he sat close enough for her to
smell the mint on his breath.

"I was going
to tell you—"

"You cheated
on me." His eyes glinted in the starlight.

Katrina recoiled.
"What?"

"He was
seven three years ago. When he died? That’s why you left me standing at the
altar. Because you were unfaithful and got pregnant with another man’s baby."
Alec looked both sad and angry. No doubt he felt bad she’d lost Joey, yet his
wrong assumption about Joey’s father was also feeding his sense of betrayal.

How she wished he
were right. That she’d left him for another man. Somehow it seemed less painful
than the truth. She closed her eyes, praying for the courage she knew she
lacked. When she felt steady enough, she opened her eyes and studied Alec’s
granite features.

"Your mother
never told you." She said carefully, softly, guessing the answer.

"My mother
was rarely sober enough to hold a conversation. She’s dead now."

"I know."
Katrina placed a hand on his knee, as if somehow she could smooth the pain
away. "Alec, I’m so sorry."

"What are
you saying?"

"Joey was
your son. Only yours."

She heard his
intake of breath and felt the muscles in the knee beneath her hand harden and
tighten. Clasping her hands together, she waited.

But he didn't
speak. Only stood and walked to the swings, long legs eating up the distance in
seconds. She didn’t know whether to follow him or to stay in the safety of the
shadows.

Moonlight
filtered through the heavy, moss-laden trees and spilled across the grass in
jagged patches, but Alec remained in darkness.

The hum of
insects filled her ears as she slowly stood and picked her way to him. He had
the right to detest her. He deserved to know why she'd chosen to leave him ignorant
of his child’s birth. Over the years guilt had clawed at her, chased her in
circles. She should've done what was right but the more time passed, the more
she feared to tell him what had remained hidden for so long.

The swing where
Alec sat was still and he didn’t look at her when she lowered herself to the
swing beside him. His head bent forward, longish hair plotting with the
darkness to hide his eyes from her.

When he spoke,
his voice was flat. "You kept my son from me."

"I’m sorry."
Emotion clogged her throat, made her voice thick. "By the time he was a
year old I realized I had to tell you, but by then I couldn’t reach you."

"So it’s my
fault?"

"No."
Katrina swallowed her frustration, her remorse. "I’m just saying I didn’t
intend to keep him a secret. It happened that way. I know you probably can’t
forgive --"

"Forgive? I
had a child who lived and died and no one bothered to tell me." His
accusation hung between them, wire taut. "My mother knew?"

"Yes."

"How soon?"

"Joey’s
first birthday."

"And her
reasons for being silent?"

Katrina shifted
her legs and prayed for wisdom. "I’m not sure. You know how unstable she
was. Maybe she thought the burden would be too much. You were only nineteen."

"But you
still tried to tell me?"

"Remember
all those letters you sent back?" She tried for a chuckle but it came out
wrong, dry and old. "I called but you blocked my number. E-mailed but they
bounced. You really hated me."