Remember Me - Regency Brides 03 (9 page)

North watched Helen flounce away, and he couldn't help but admire her spunk and the way she had stood up to Sam. She would indeed make a fine wife, but not to the Indian. No, she would make a very fine wife for a man like himself.

At least the man he imagined he was, he amended, as he thought about how his own past was stil a mystery.

"So I have competition for Helen Nichols," Sam commented, as though he already knew the answer.

North answered anyway. "No, because you have no chance in winning her heart." It was an overconfident statement for which he had nothing to back it up except his own hopes for Helen.

Sam stared at him as if he were trying to decipher the truth. "You believe you do?"

North smiled a confident smile fil ed with determination. "I know I do."

North returned the Indian man's stare measure for measure. Final y Sam answered with equal conviction, "We shal see, preacher man." And with that he nodded his head and turned to gather his horses.

As North began to walk back toward the path that Helen had taken, he realized he actual y liked Sam, despite his fondness for the woman of North's choice. He found he looked forward to learning more about Sam's culture and way of life.

Did Indians of his tribe actual y scalp people?

It wasn't hard to locate Helen after he'd reached the plantation house, because she was sitting on the front porch with Josie sipping tea. The first thing he noticed was that she'd tied back her beautiful black hair with a ribbon.

Pity.

"I was wondering if you two brutes had kil ed one another," she told him, as he walked up the many steps to where they were seated.

"Let's just say we had a few things to talk over," he prevaricated.

"Did he show you his big knife? I once saw him cut a snake clean in two with one swipe!" Josie threw in, apparently not wanting to be left out of the conversation.

"Never mind about that!" Helen waved toward the younger girl as if dismissing her words. "What possible things would you have to discuss with Sam?" she demanded to know.

North had to try hard not to smile at her curiosity. "I believe the subject revolved around"-he paused for effect-"your marriage."

"My
marriage!"
she gaped, coming out of her chair and nearly spil ing the tea on the wooden floor.

"You're getting married?" Josie queried in an excited voice. "Who are you getting married to?"

"Nobody!"

"Wait and see."

They spoke at the same time, and Josie clapped her hands with delight. "I'l bet it's Sam! He's been in love with Helen since she got here!"

"But she's not in love with
him,"
North answered without thinking, only realizing until after he spoke how self-assured he sounded.
One should never, ever
presume to tel a woman what her feelings are,
he remembered too late.

She gasped with incredulity at his words. North couldn't help but admire how beautiful she looked even when she was angry. "Perhaps I want to marry Sam!"

she stated, emphasizing each word.

North knew good and wel she didn't, but it didn't stop him from feeling irritated that she'd said it.

"You've turned him down three times!" he countered with a snap of his fingers, remembering his earlier conversation with her.

Helen looked less angry, as if she thought she had the upper hand in the conversation. Almost deliberately she began to study her nails. "Maybe I was holding out for four horses."

The whole conversation seemed so sil y that North began to laugh. A quick glance at Helen told him that she, too, found the whole exchange ridiculous.

Soon they were both laughing.

"I don't know what is so funny," Josie huffed as she stood up from her chair. "If you don't want the horses, I'l take them!"

That just made them laugh harder.

Chapter 8

It was with great excitement that Helen and the Baumgartner family dressed for church the next morning. In fact, the whole area was abuzz with anticipation of final y having church services and their very own pastor. Weddings would not have to be delayed, and funerals could final y be done properly, with a minister presiding over them instead of someone just reading scriptures. There had been no one for spiritual guidance and no one qualified to go to for clarification on certain scriptures.

Among the females in the area, however, their excitement was not focused so much on the spiritual benefits but rather on the fact that he was young, single, and extremely handsome. Helen didn't real y want to listen to that particular rumor from Imogene as they walked into the church, but there was plenty of evidence to support it when they entered and saw every female in the church dressed fancier than Helen had ever seen them.

Helen was amazed at the elaborately decorated bonnets that al seemed to match their frocks perfectly. It was almost like being transported back to London, so stylish they al looked. She glanced down at her own gown, which was nice with its pink flowers at the bodice and flowing cream taffeta below the high waist, yet it wasn't as stylish and wel made as most of the dresses in the room. Even her bonnet, though one of her finest, seemed dowdy in comparison.

These were like al the society ladies whom North was used to being around in England. Would the sight of them jog his memory?

As she thought of North, she looked around but was unable to see him among the twenty or so people there in attendance. Helen took her seat beside the Baumgartners in one of the middle rows. It was then that she saw North enter the church from the side door by the pulpit.

She was only able to partial y see his face as he took a seat in the front pew, and she wondered why he didn't look about the room at al . In fact, he seemed a little tense as he faced forward, not speaking to anyone.

Helen glanced to her side, and Josie, too, seemed to be studying North's strange behavior. But before Helen could whisper anything to her young friend, Ol ie Rhymes, the self-appointed hymn leader from the Hil plantation cal ed for everyone to stand and turn to hymn number twenty-three. It was then that Helen noticed the handmade booklet with words to songs written out in plain script and tied together with a heavy string. Since she was sitting on the end and there was only one booklet per pew, she was unable to sing the words to the unfamiliar song. It real y didn't matter because poor Miss Ol ie sang like an injured house cat, and since she was hard of hearing, her volume was one of gargantuan proportions.

Though Josie was al but holding her ears as she grimaced with mock pain, Helen barely gave Miss Ol ie a glance, her gaze stil fixed on North.

What is wrong with him? .

"What's wrong with him?" Josie echoed her thoughts, talking louder than a whisper as she tried to make herself heard over the caterwauling: Helen noticed the disapproving frown from Imogene directed at her daughter, so she just shook her head in lieu of an answer. .

Final y Miss Ol ie ended the song, and Helen could almost hear the audible prayer of thanks from everyone in the smal church as the petite, elderly woman stepped down from the pulpit.

Miss Ol ie smiled and nodded toward North, giving him his cue that It was his turn. Apparently he didn't know the cue. North just sat there, and after a few seconds, the congregation started whispering and moving around. What
was
wrong with North?

Final y Miss Ol ie apparently got tired of standing there and smiling at him. She went over to him, slapped him on top of his shoulder, and said, "It's your turn, sonny."

This time North responded with a jerk as if he had awakened from a dream. He quickly stood and looked around nervously. Stiffly, he walked to the pulpit and put down his Bible and notes. . . .

It seemed like an eternity passed as he slowly flipped through his Bible, adjusted his papers, then cleared his throat at least four times.

"Has he ever done this before?" Josie whispered, stil too loud. A smattering of laugher trickled from the people sitting around them as they heard her comment.

"Shhh!" Helen sounded sharply as she prayed North would be able to calm down and begin his message.

Final y he read the scripture passage they'd chosen together.' His voice sounded steady and strong as he read expertly from his Bible, and Helen started to relax.

He was doing fine. Of course, he could do this! He was, after al , a duke!

Unfortunately, poor North didn't have any idea who he was or what he was capable of. For after he read the scripture, he looked up at the crowd, looked back down at his Bible, and ... Nothing! He seemed unable to speak another word.

***

North was so seized with self-doubt that he couldn't seem to get another word out! He just couldn't seem to fathom why he had chosen the occupation of clergyman when he was so obviously afraid of speaking in public.

Wouldn't it be something that comes natural y?
he wondered hurriedly as he struggled to get bold of his panic. But then nothing else had come natural y. Not taking care of animals, providing for himself without the help of a servant, and certainly not writing sermons. Why should he believe this would be any different?

Nothing felt ,right. His col ar was too tight, his shoes were actual y a lime too big, and he thought he might have gotten a splinter in his hand when he stepped up to the pulpit and ran his palm on the top of the wooden surface.

Read! Just read your message. It is al written out for you,
he told himself so sternly that he feared he'd spoken it aloud. But when he looked at the congregation, they merely seemed curious and puzzled as' to why he was just standing there, not saying anything.

He didn't want to tel them of his memory loss, because they would believe him to be crazy. If he didn't control his fear, they were going to come to that conclusion anyway!

Taking a deep breath, he prayed he would find a peace and be able to proceed.

And miraculously God must have heard, because he was able to take a deep breath, his heartbeat slowing down so he could focus.

He lifted his gaze and saw Helen's concerned eyes fastened on him. A feeling like North knew he'd never felt before seemed to hit him square in the chest and straight to his heart. But it didn't make him more nervous; instead, it gave him a greater peace, knowing she was there to support him.

He smiled at her and quickly moved his gaze about the room so as not to let anyone think he was flirting with a woman in church and in sight of everyone.

When he briefly looked back at her, she was returning his smile, looking quite relieved that he seemed to be al right.

He looked back down at his notes and began to read. He kept trying to stop and make comments on what he was reading without having to look directly from his notes, but he couldn't seem to think of anything. So he read. And read.

And read.

He didn't
once
look up.

He finished the sermon in what he was sure was record time for a clergyman. In fact, the whole thing including the scripture reading could not have lasted more than ten minutes.

When he final y spoke the last words on his page, he looked up to find everyone staring at him with sort of a dazed expression on their faces. Not knowing what else to do, he quickly bowed his head and said a closing prayer, which sounded amateurish at best.

The members of his congregation were as polite as they could be as they filed out of the building, shaking his hand as they passed him. Every once in a while someone would actual y tel him that his sermon was good, and North had to wonder if God wouldn't mind the lie so much since they were only trying to be nice.

Final y Helen was standing before him, giving him a smile that could only be described as one borne out of pity.
Splendid,
he thought grimly. The woman for whom he carried great affection felt sorry for him.

"You did it!" she whispered with encouragement. "It can only get easier from here."

North didn't feel quite so optimistic, but he did manage to murmur, "Thank you."

"You read real y fast," Josie offered. She was wearing the same expression as Helen. Helen nudged the younger girl and scolded,

"Don't say that, Josie. He read quite nicely."

"I was trying to compliment him!"

North stemmed whatever Helen was about to say by stepping up and putting his hand on Josie's shoulder. "Thank you, Josie. You are very sweet," he told her, touched that she, too, was trying to help him feel better.

The sermon
real y
must have been appal ing.

"Reverend Campbel ! Wil you join us for our noonday meal?" Imogene asked, coming up behind Helen and Josie. "We have invited the whole church to come and picnic with us on our plantation." There was nothing North wanted to do less than be around the congregation, but he saw no way to bow out graciously. "Of course I'l
join you."

"Excel ent!" Imogene exclaimed with a smile. "Then would you mind taking the barouche with Josie and Helen? I'l ride with my husband in our carriage."

He told her he would, and when everyone had exited the church, he closed it up and headed for the barouche, where Helen and Josie sat waiting for him.

Helen's face blossomed into a breathtaking smile when she saw him. North suddenly didn't care that he had embarrassed himself or that he would stil have to face his congregation once again.

He was about to spend another day with Helen.