Remembrance (16 page)

“I won't tolerate yours. Merry Christmas, Mother.” And with that, he quietly hung up the phone. When he turned to look sorrowfully at Serena, he saw that she was sitting beside the fire, her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking, and when he went to her and forced her to look up, he saw that her face was drenched with tears.

“Oh, darling, I'm so sorry you heard all that.”

“She hates me … she hates me … we broke her heart.”

“Serena.” He pulled her into his arms and held her against him. “She has no heart, my darling. She hasn't for years. It's something everyone in the family knows, and I should have told you. My mother has a mind like a whip, and a heart of stone. She is tougher than most men I know, and all she wants is to make everyone do what she wants them to do. She has settled for pushing my father around for thirty-six years, and she's tried for years to push me around too. She has better luck with my brother Greg, and I'm not sure yet how Teddy is going to survive all this. But what she doesn't like about you is that you weren't her idea—she didn't find you, she didn't try to push me into marrying you. All she hates about you is that she has no control. I chose for myself, just like when I joined the army. That is what she can't accept. It has nothing at all to do with you. It has to do with a battle between me and her that has gone on for years.”

“But Pattie … she told her I was the maid at the palazzo … what must your mother think?” Serena was still sobbing in his arms.

“Serena, my love, first of all don't ever forget who you really are. And anyway, do you think it matters to me that you were a maid or whatever you've been. The only thing that I care about is that I'm sorry you had to go through all the turmoil, and trauma, and misery and hard work. But I can tell you one thing, from now on, I'm going to make your life happy, and try to make up to you for all the rest.” He kissed her damp eyes and stroked her hair gently.

“Do you think she will ever forgive us?”

“Of course she will. It's not that big a deal. She was just surprised, that's all. And she was hurt that we hadn't included her earlier.” It was a gentling of the realities of the situation, but he hoped that it would do for now.

Serena shook her head sadly. “She will always hate me. And she will always think of me as the Italian maid.”

B.J. laughed at that. “No, she won't, silly. I promise.”

“How can you be sure?”

“I know my mother. And she knows me. She knows that she can't run me. It's a simple fact of life. So she'll eventually accept what happened, and when she finally sees you, she'll be bowled over, just as I was, and she'll see what you are—beautiful, and gentle and lovely, intelligent, and the woman I love. They're all going to love you, Serena, even my damn mother. I promise … you'll see.…”

“But all that Pattie said—”

“Sour grapes, my love. Even my mother will recognize that when she sees you together.”

“Together?” Serena looked shocked, and B.J. looked rueful.

“She's marrying my brother Greg in June. That's an interesting development, isn't it?”

Serena watched him closely and dried her eyes. “She's marrying your brother?” He nodded. “Do you mind?”

“Not in the way you mean. What I mind is that I think she's the worst thing that could happen to my brother. Or maybe not, maybe he needs someone to run his life. My mother can't do it forever.”

“Is he really that weak?”

B.J. nodded slowly. “I hate to admit it, but he is, the poor devil. He's just like my father.”

“Your father's weak too?” She looked shocked to hear him tearing his family apart so candidly. He had never done this with her before.

“Yes, my father is weak too. And my mother has more balls than an entire football team put together. I don't think it's made her happy, and at various times it has driven all of us nuts, but there it is. And all that matters, my darling, is that I love you. Now, I have done my duty, I have told my family about our marriage, I'm sorry that they didn't jump up and down with joy, but once they meet you they will, so let's not worry about that, and now let's go Christmas shopping. Is that a deal?” She looked up at him with damp eyes, and attempted a smile.

“I love you.” But she almost instantly began to cry again. “I'm so sorry.”

“Why? For crying all day on our wedding day, for that you should be sorry. Very sorry, especially after that terrific lunch.” He handed her his handkerchief again and she blew her nose.

“No, I'm sorry because I've made your family so unhappy.”

“You haven't, I promise you. You have given my mother something to think about, which won't do her any harm, and the rest of the family will probably think it's great news.” And at that moment, before he could continue, the phone rang, and it was his brother Teddy, calling from the States. “What's up?” B.J. looked vaguely worried and a moment later Serena saw him break into a broad smile. “She's sensational, you're going to love her.… Okay … okay … I'll let you talk to her yourself.” And then without further warning, he handed the phone to Serena with only the brief introduction, “My brother Ted.”

“Hello, Serena, this is Teddy. I'm Brad's youngest brother, and I just wanted to congratulate you myself. I wanted you to know that I'm happy for you and Brad. And I'm sure that if my brother loves you, you must be one terrific lady, and I can't wait to meet you.”

Tears filled her eyes as she murmured, “Thank you so much.” She blushed and stammered then as she reached for her husband's hand. “I hope … so much … that I will not make the family unhappy.…” Brad could hear the terror in her voice. His poor little princess, afraid of his twenty-two-year-old brother. Poor thing, she had really been through the wringer. But never again. He would keep his mother in check when they went to New York for Greg's wedding, if they went at all.

Ted was quick to reassure her. “The only way you could make us unhappy is if you make Brad unhappy, and I can't imagine you doing that.”

“Oh, no!” She sounded shocked.

“Good. Then just know how happy I am for you.”

Her eyes filled with tears again and she said good-bye to her new brother and handed the phone back to Brad.

“Isn't she terrific?” Brad was beaming at her as he spoke to his brother.

Teddy sounded more serious again. “I just hope you're not as nuts as Mom said. Is she really a nice girl, Brad?”

“The best.”

“You love each other?”

“Yes, we do.”

“Then, I wish you the best, Brad. I wish I were there to tell you myself. I wish I'd been there to share it with you.” And Brad knew that Teddy meant it.

“So do I. But we'll make up for it when we get together. What's this insanity about Greg, by the way?”

“You heard it. I guess Pattie figured that if she couldn't have you she'd have him. I'm just lucky she didn't decide to grab me, I guess.”

“Luckier than you know, kid.”

“I suspect as much. I hope old Greg holds up.”

“So do I.” They both sounded worried as they thought about Greg's impending marriage.

“Anyway, I just wanted to congratulate you both and wish you luck and tell you that I love you.”

“You're a great kid, Teddy. And one hell of a fine brother. I love you.” His voice was hoarse as he said the words.

“My love to you both,” Ted said gently, and then said good-bye.

Brad turned to Serena with a look of great tenderness after he'd hung up. “I've got some baby brother.”

“He sounds wonderful.”

“He is. I can't wait for you to meet him.” They held each other close then for a long moment, in the study, as Brad thought of his family so far away, and in spite of the joy of the special day he was sharing with Serena, he was suddenly homesick for the States, and his family, especially his brother Ted. “Do you want to go out now?” He looked down at his wife.

“What would you like, Brad?” She recognized that it had been an emotional hour for them both, and she felt spent, but she still wanted to buy him a gift.

But he looked at her warmly and took her hand. “I'd like to take you out and buy you everything in sight, Serena Fullerton, that's what I'd like to do.” She grinned at the use of her new name. “Come on, let's go shopping.”

“Are you sure?” She smiled at the anxious look in his eyes.

“Very sure. Go get your ugly coat.” She had already given the sable back to Marie-Rose and Pierre. “I'm going to buy you a new one.”

“Not a sable, I hope.”

“Hardly.” But as it turned out, he bought her a luscious blond lynx, and boxes upon boxes of new clothes. When they staggered home at six o'clock, he had bought her at least a dozen new dresses, two suits, half a dozen hats, the lynx coat, gold earrings, a black wool coat as well, shoes, handbags, scarves, underwear, nightgowns. She was totally overwhelmed by the avalanche of expensive goodies he bought her, and her own gift to him seemed so small in comparison, but it had taken almost the last of her savings. She had bought him a gold cigarette case and lighter, and later, after she gave it to him, she would have his name engraved, and the date. She planned to give it to him the following evening, on Christmas Eve.

The driver helped them deposit all their loot in the front hallway and slowly Serena and Brad walked upstairs, arm in arm, as he looked down at her with pleasure again and she turned her face up to his with a look of amazement. Who was this man she had married? Was it possible that he had such means? She had not seen such riches since before the war. It made her wonder if his family would think she had married him for his money.

“Something wrong, Mrs. Fullerton?” He was anxious that she be cushioned from the harshness of his mother's cruelty.

“No, I was just thinking how lucky I am to have you.”

“Funny, I was thinking the same thing about you.” He stopped her then at the top of the stairs, and picked her up gently, enveloped in her new lynx, which she had insisted on wearing out of the store, her blond hair blending with it, almost the same color, and he carried her over the threshold of their bedroom.

“What are you doing?” She said it sleepily against his shoulder. It had been a long day, filled with emotions and excitement. Their wedding, his mother, their enormous wedding lunch, all the shopping … it was no wonder that she was exhausted.

“I'm carrying you over the threshold. It's an American custom, to celebrate the fact that we're newly married. I can also think of other ways to celebrate the same fact.” She giggled at him and he set her down on the bed and kissed her, and moments later the coat was shed, along with the rest of her clothes and they made love until they were both spent, and fell asleep peacefully in each other's arms. Marie-Rose sent up their dinner that night, on a tray on a dumbwaiter as Brad had suggested, but they never woke up after their lovemaking, or went to get the sandwiches and cocoa she had made them. They slept on like two children to each other's arms.

15

Two days later Serena awoke before her husband, and scampered quickly out of bed to find the two boxes she had concealed in her dressing room the night before. And as he looked at her, sleepy-eyed and happy, stretching lazily as she came toward him, he held out both arms.

“Come to me, my lovely wife.” She did so gladly, and held him for a moment, the presents still clutched in her hand.

“Merry Christmas, my darling.”

“Is it Christmas?” He feigned surprise and a lapse of memory as he pulled her back into bed beside him, her warm flesh smooth against his own. “Isn't it tomorrow?”

“Oh, shut up, you know it isn't!” She was giggling at him, remembering all of the wonderful gifts he had bought her. “Here, these are for you.”

This time his surprise was genuine. “When did you do that, Serena?” He had been so intent on his shopping for her that he hadn't noticed when she had purchased them at Cartier, while he bought her earrings. “You are a sneaky one, aren't you?”

“For a good cause. Go on, open them.”

He kissed her first, and then slowly unpacked the first present with an enervating lack of speed. He was teasing both her and himself and she laughed at him, until at last the wrapping fell away and the smooth silky beauty of the gold cigarette case lay in his hand.

“Serena! Baby, how could you?” He was shocked at the fortune she must have spent. He hadn't even known if she had that kind of money in her reserves. And he knew all too well that if she did he was now holding the last of it in his hand. But a gold cigarette case had always been, in Europe, a standard wedding gift for a young man, and an important one. It was the same wedding gift she would have bought him if her parents had been alive. The difference would have been, perhaps, sapphire initials, or an elaborate message engraved inside. And there might have been an additional gift of sapphire cuff links, or studs for his dinner jacket in black onyx with handsome diamonds sparkling inside. But Serena's gift of the simple gold case was both handsome and impressive and B.J. was touched beyond words as he leaned over to kiss his bride. “Darling, you're crazy!”

“About you.” She giggled happily and handed him the other gift, which he opened with equal delight.

“Good God, Serena, you spoiled me!” For a fraction of an instant the huge green eyes looked sad.

“I wish I could have spoiled you more. If—” But he took her in his arms before she went on.

“I wouldn't be happier than I am now. I couldn't be. You're the best present I've ever had.” And as he said it he disengaged himself slowly from her arms and hopped out of bed to go to his own chest of drawers in a far corner, as she watched him with interest.

“What are you doing?”

“Oh, I don't know. I thought maybe Santa Claus may have left something for you.” He looked over his naked shoulder with a broad grin.

“Are you crazy? After all the presents you bought me yesterday?”

But he was walking determinedly toward her, with a small silver-wrapped package in his hand. It had a narrow silver ribbon, and the box was intriguingly small as he extended it to her. “For you, darling.”

She shook her head with disapproval then. “I don't deserve more presents.”

“Yes, you deserve the best—you are the best. Got that?”

“Yes, sir.” She gave him a mock salute and her eyes grew enormous as she began to unwrap the present. Even the wrapping looked expensive, and the small black suede case looked more so, and when she opened it to reveal the shining black lining and what lay nestled on it, she could only gasp. Her hand trembled and she looked almost frightened as she saw it. “Oh, Brad!”

“Do you like it?” He took it quickly out of the box for her and reached for her trembling hand to put it on her. It was a flawless pink diamond, in an oval shape, surrounded by smaller white diamonds on a narrow gold band. The entire ring was of exquisite proportions and the color and brilliance of the ring were truly remarkable on her narrow, elegant hand.

“Oh, my God!” She was almost speechless as she stared at it. Even the size was right. “Oh, Brad!” Tears rapidly filled her eyes and he smiled at her, pleased that she was so obviously delighted.

“You deserve dozens like that, Serena. The Germans didn't leave much of that in Paris. When we get back to the States, we're going to buy what we can. Lovely things for you, pretty clothes, furs, lots of jewelry, hats, all the things that you'll enjoy. You'll be a princess—my princess—always.”

It seemed to Serena in the months that ensued that she merely passed her time all day wandering in the Bois de Boulogne, going to still-half-empty museums, looking aimlessly into shops, anxiously waiting for B.J. to come home at night. All she wanted was to see him, all that meant anything to her was her husband, and B.J. discovered in her a passion he had never even begun to suspect before. They spent hours together, lying side by side in their library, staring into the fire, talking and kissing and hugging and holding, and then racing each other upstairs like two kids. But they were far from being children once they got upstairs. Their lovemaking was expert and endless, as the winter drifted into the spring.

Brad was busy with his job, but there was far less to do now, the most pressing postwar problems had begun to be resolved, and the long-term ones wouldn't be completely taken care of for years. So what remained was a pleasant lull, a kind of easygoing limbo, in which he would actually daydream at his desk, meet his wife for lunch, go for long walks in the parks, and hurry home with her for another passionate adventure before returning to his desk.

“I can't go on meeting you like this.” He grinned at her sleepily one afternoon in May, as he lay in her arms, happy and spent.

“Why not? Do you think your wife will object?” Serena was grinning. And she looked more mature now than she had five months before when she had arrived in Paris on the train from Rome.

“My wife?” B.J. looked at her, her hair tousled. “Hell no, she's a sex maniac.” Serena laughed out loud. “Do you realize that I'm going to look sixty when I'm forty if we keep this up?” But he didn't look as though he minded, and Serena looked at him archly.

“Are you complaining, then?” But there was a strange gleam in her eye today, as though there were something she wasn't telling. He had thought that he noticed it when he first met her for lunch, but he had forgotten about it as they talked. Later he would press her about it. But first he had something to tell her. “Are you complaining, Colonel?”

“Not really. But I think you ought to know that I won't be able to do quite as much of this when we go back to the States.” His eyes were twinkling strangely and Serena cocked her head to one side.

“Is that true?”

He nodded but looked indecisive. “Well, Americans just don't behave like this, after all.”

“Don't they make love?” Serena looked mock-horrified, still with that wicked gleam in her eye.

“Never.”

“You're lying.”

“I am not.” He was grinning at her. “Hell, we can't go on making love like this when we go back. My lunch hours won't be as long.”

“Brad.” She suddenly looked at him strangely. “Are you trying to tell me something?”

“Yes.” He nodded with a grin.

“What?” But she already thought she knew.

“We're going home, princess.”

“To the States?” She looked stunned. She had known that it would come eventually, but she hadn't thought it would be so soon. “To New York?”

“Only for a three-week leave. After that, my love, we go to the Presidio in San Francisco, and I become a full colonel. How do you like that, Mrs. Fullerton?” At thirty-four, Brad knew it was quite an accolade, and she knew it too.

“Brad!” She looked elated for him. “How wonderful! And San Francisco?”

“You'll love it. Not only that, but Teddy will be near us, since he's going to Stanford Med in the fall. And we'll even get home for Greg's wedding. That wraps it all up pretty nicely, wouldn't you say, my love?”

“More or less.” She lay back against their pillows again, with that same mysterious grin.

“More or less? I get promoted, we get sent home, we get one of the best posts in the country, and you say ‘more or less’? Serena, I ought to spank you.” He mockingly pulled her toward him to turn her over his knee, but she held out a hand.

“I wouldn't do that.” Her voice was oddly gentle and her eyes very bright, and something in her face made him stop pulling her toward him, as though he knew, as though he sensed it, even before she spoke.

“Why not?”

“Because I'm having a baby, Brad.” She said it so gently that it brought tears to his eyes, as he moved toward her and held her.

“Oh, darling.”

“I hope it's a boy.” She clung happily to him, and he shook his head firmly.

“A girl. One who looks just like you.”

“Don't you want a son?” She looked startled, but he was looking down at her as though she had just performed a miracle, not really concentrating on her words, just stunned by the total fulfillment he felt.