Chapter Thirty-Three
Cannes was still in party mode as Anna and Leo walked along the bord du mer towards the quay that evening.
The paparazzi were gathered as usual at the foot of the Palais steps; restaurants and bars were full; glamorous women in impossibly high heeled shoes were stepping into limousines to be chauffeured away to some upmarket establishment along the coast to be wined and dined. International TV crews were everywhere filming, their reporters talking earnestly to cameras trying to convey the frenzied atmosphere around them to audiences on different continents.
Bruno, casual in chinos and black polo shirt, welcomed them aboard the luxury yacht he’d chartered for the evening as the stewardess offered glasses of champagne.
‘Anna. Leo. So glad you changed your minds. Should be a fun evening.’ He hesitated as he looked at Anna.
‘Leo told me what happened last night after I left. Are you all right? I’m struggling to accept it but with that wonderful thing called hindsight, I can definitely see a resemblance between Teddy Wickham and Philippe – and to you too.’
Bruno paused. ‘Verity and Teddy are hoping to join us later.’
Anna could feel the panic rising.
‘Would you like me to ask them not to come?’ Bruno asked.
‘What reason could you possibly give them, Bruno? No, Leo and I won’t stay too long. Hopefully we’ll have left before they arrive. I’m not ready for a confrontation with Teddy Wickham yet.’
‘Have you spoken to Verity?’ she asked. ‘Told her you know she’s Felicity Howell?’
Bruno shook his head. ‘Not yet.’
Anna hesitated before asking, ‘Are you going to say anything to Teddy about Philippe? About how close you both were?’
Bruno shook his head. ‘Not directly no. After all, Teddy isn’t aware that anybody knows his true identity and without breaking several confidences, I can’t tell him. But I may talk in a loud voice when he is within earshot about how friendly Philippe and I were. See if he picks up on it.’
Bruno swished the champagne around in his glass before taking a sip and looking at Anna seriously. ‘You’re probably the only one who can approach the subject with him – if you choose to do so.’
Anna grimaced. ‘From what Verity is saying, there seems very little point.’
‘We went to the lawyers this morning,’ Leo said. ‘Anna is about to become not only a French householder but also the proud owner of a boat.’
‘Philippe left you ‘One Life, One Love?’ Bruno said. ‘As well as the cottage?’
‘With certain clauses attached,’ Anna said. ‘Which I need to talk to you about sometime but not tonight. I’ve brought the keys to the cottage with me. Leo and I are hoping to have a quick look around tonight. If we disappear that’s why,’ Anna said.
‘Philippe invested a huge amount of money in that cottage over the years – he always hoped eventually to live there,’ Bruno said.
‘I know he did. He once told me what his dreams were for the place,’ Anna said quietly.
More guests began to come aboard and Bruno went to greet them, leaving Anna and Leo to make their way along the deck. A few minutes later the hum of the engines could be heard as the yacht began to manoeuvre off the mooring and make its way towards the island.
Bruno had instructed the skipper to take the yacht around the bay, ‘Give everyone a chance to enjoy the champagne and nibbles,’ and it was an hour before the yacht drew up alongside the island’s public pontoon and people disembarked.
The caterers had the barbecue a few hundred yards along the beach well under control as they arrived and people were soon tucking into the tuna steaks, lamb seasoned with herbs de Provence and pork chops that were on offer.
Across on the mainland, lights were beginning to shine as twilight began.
‘If you’ve had enough to eat I think we should slip away now to see the cottage,’ Leo said. ‘Don’t want to be stumbling around in the dark. Do you remember its location or do we need to ask Bruno the way?’
‘If I remember correctly we need to find the lane that goes around the island and it’s one of the few houses along there that has a boathouse,’ Anna answered.
The gate to the cottage, when they found it ten minutes later, opened easily and together they walked down the path towards the front door. Leo waited as Anna pushed the key into the lock and turned it before he put his hand on her arm and stopped her.
‘I think I’ll go and take a look in the boathouse. Have a look at your boat, if that’s all right with you? Give you five minutes on your own with your memories. Love you,’ and Leo kissed her cheek gently before leaving her to push the door open and enter the cottage.
Inside, Anna pressed a light switch and ceiling spotlights threw a seductive golden ambience over the hall and the sitting room it opened onto.
The room with its Provençal colour scheme and traditional furniture felt warm and inviting. Original paintings lined the wall. Silver-framed photographs stood on the piano in the corner. An Oscar stood on the mantelpiece.
Anna could almost sense Philippe’s physical presence in this room: standing in front of the French doors watching the yachts out in the bay; playing the piano for his friends; pulling a log from the basket standing at the side of the granite fireplace and throwing it on the fire; turning to smile at her before pouring a glass of wine from the table in the corner; sitting on the comfy sofa reading to a child.
Stairs from the hallway led both up and down. Trying to rid herself of images of Philippe in the sitting room, Anna went upstairs. Three bedrooms, a modern bathroom. A small box room, its walls decorated with faded nursery characters, empty, save for the old-fashioned wooden cradle in the corner.
Stifling a sob, Anna turned and closed the door, before running back downstairs to the hallway and on down again to the kitchen that occupied the entire ground floor of the cottage.
Taking a glass from the dresser, Anna filled it with tap water and sipped it slowly, trying to regain her composure. The house was beautiful, Philippe had done a brilliant job in restoring it but could she ever live in it – even for brief holidays – with Leo? Wouldn’t the memory of Philippe and what might have been, infiltrate everything they did together?
Footsteps sounded upstairs in the hallway. Would Leo like the cottage? Anna rinsed the glass and replaced it on the dresser.
‘I’m down in the kitchen. Just coming up,’ she called in response to the muffled ‘Coo-ee’ from upstairs.
‘Did you like the boat?’ Anna asked as she climbed the stairs to the hallway.
‘What sort of boat is it? Oh!’ For a moment she thought she was hallucinating as she looked at the man standing in front of her. A stranger, yet achingly familiar in so many ways.
‘I’m sorry to intrude but I saw the lights were on and I couldn’t resist asking if I might have a look around?’
Speechless Anna gestured towards the sitting room and the man smiled his thanks as he held his hand out.
‘I guess I should introduce myself I’m—’
‘You’re Teddy Wickham,’ Anna said. ‘I recognise you from ... from a magazine photo,’ she added wildly. ‘Why do you want to look around?’
‘It’s just that – that I was a great fan of Philippe Cambone’s work and wanted to pay my respects. Are you his caretaker?’
‘Sort of.’ Anna said, realising that he was being as economical with the truth as she was.
Suddenly Leo’s advice that getting the truth out into the open was the only way to go came into her mind. Lying at this first meeting with Teddy Wickham was the wrong thing to do. Before she could say anything Teddy spoke again.
‘It’s a lovely place. Sensational views. It would make a wonderful family home,’ he said strolling towards the window.
‘Do you know what will happen to it now that Philippe is dead?’
Anna shook her head. ‘The details still have to be sorted out.’ That wasn’t a lie at least. ‘Would you like to see upstairs?’
‘Please.’
Her heart thudding in her chest, Anna led the way upstairs.
‘This is the largest of the bedrooms, so I suppose you’d call it the master bedroom,’ she said. ‘The last time I saw it, it definitely didn’t look like this. There was only ...’ she stopped, realising she had been about to say that the only furniture the room contained years ago had been a double bed. Ignoring Teddy’s puzzled look she opened the door of the box room.
‘This appears to be the only room Philippe hasn’t redecorated,’ she said.
‘Maybe it was next on the list.’
‘Hey, I love these old nursery characters,’ Teddy said peering at the faded pictures on the wall. ‘Looks like a Winnie-the-Pooh theme. As for this cot, it’s beautiful.’ He fell silent as he carefully pushed the curved rail and it began to gently rock on its runners.
Anna watching him, felt the huge lump in her throat and swallowed hard. She knew she was standing within three feet of the man who, as a baby should have occupied that cradle, of that there was no doubt in her mind. If ever there was a time to speak out it had to be now surely?
‘Actually, I’m not the caretaker,’ she said faltering as Teddy turned to look at her.
‘Oh?’
‘I’m ... Philippe was an old friend.’
‘I was due to meet him for the first time last week,’ Teddy said, a sad expression on his face. ‘Sadly I left it too late. Everybody I talk to say he was one of life’s gentlemen – in every sense of the word.’
‘Yes I believe he was.’ Anna said quietly. She took a deep breath before continuing.
‘I’ve met your daughter Cindy at the villa where I’m staying. She’s a lovely child. You must be very proud. Your wife too – Verity – she came to my party recently.’
‘Hang on. Are you Anna Carsons? The woman who gave Cindy that expensive birthday present?’
Anna nodded. ‘Yes. She offered to lend me her balloon, the helium one, for my party.’
Teddy looked at her incredulously. ‘And because of that you spent what must have been a small fortune on a present for her?’
Anna shrank beneath the intensity of his gaze. ‘No, not just because of the balloon. I wanted to give her something special – she’s such a sweet child and,’ she added quietly, before taking another deep breath as she came to a decision.
‘Because in another life, my name was Lucinda Ann Carstairs – and yours was Jean-Philippe - and Philippe Cambone intended that cradle to be yours.’
In the silence that followed her words, Anna clutched the pendant around her neck tightly, praying that she had chosen the right moment to speak out. That she had done the right thing. That Teddy would respond favourably to her.
Teddy took a step backwards, away from her. His face void of any expression he said. ‘You’re Lucinda Ann Carstairs?’
Anna nodded, her whole body taunt with anticipation as she waited for her son to acknowledge her.
‘So, that makes you the mother who gave me away and deprived me of knowing my natural father.’
Anna nodded slowly.
Several seconds passed before Teddy spoke again. ‘As far as I’m concerned you have no right to call yourself my mother and my daughter doesn’t have a grand-mother.’
He turned away and left her standing alone in the room that should have been his nursery. Anna listened to his footsteps echoing through the cottage as he ran down the stairs and out into the lane, slamming the door behind him.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Thanks,’ Anna said, wrapping herself in the towel Leo handed her as she climbed out of the pool.
‘You’re not swimming?’
‘No. I’ve made us some coffee,’ Leo answered indicating the cafetière and cups on the patio table. ‘We need to talk.’
Ignoring his last words, Anna moved towards the table. ‘I’ve been thinking, how d’you feel about doing some sightseeing over the next few days? I was thinking we could go to Antibes today and have a mooch around. Maybe Monaco tomorrow? There’s so much to see down here, we’d be silly not to do some exploring while we’re in the area. We could even go over the border to Italy. I’ve never been to Italy. What d’you think?’
‘I think you’re trying to avoid the subject but yes we could do some sightseeing if that’s what you want – after we’ve talked.’
Anna sighed, knowing what Leo wanted to talk about: last night, or rather the consequences of last night. The memory of that meeting with Teddy Wickham in the cottage would remain with her forever. Talking would not erase it from her conscience or alter its affect on her life.
‘I meant what I said on the boat coming back, Leo. Teddy Wickham has made up my mind for me,’ Anna said quietly. ‘The matter is closed. No more soul searching. No more hoping for any sort of reconciliation.’
She looked at Leo as she took the cup of coffee he’d poured her. ‘Like you’ve been saying all week, I have to move on. Let my past mistakes go. Get on with my – our – life together.’
‘You’re not even going to fight to see Cindy then?’ Leo asked.
Anna bit her lip. ‘No.’
‘I know I’ve been saying leave the past behind but all the same I can’t help feeling you should try again to get Teddy to listen to the truth,’ Leo said.
‘Then you will at least know you’ve done all you could to do the right thing as far as your Jean-Philippe is concerned.’
Leo placed his coffee cup on the table and took Anna’s from her before taking hold of her hands. ‘I love you and know the kind of person you are – caring, kind and compassionate. Teddy has this picture of you as the hard-hearted woman who didn’t care about him from the beginning. A picture I know is simply not true,’ Leo paused.
‘Verity is clearly on your side. Go and see her. Get her to talk to Teddy. I think he should at least be presented with the evidence that the fault was not all on your side. I can’t bear the thought of anybody thinking so badly of the woman I love.’
‘Leo, you didn’t see the look in Teddy’s eyes when he told me he didn’t have a mother. He didn’t need to tell me how much he hates me – it was all there in his expression.’ Anna was silent for several seconds before adding.
‘I don’t think there is anyway through that kind of anger. I don’t think I have the courage to even try.’
Just then the entrance phone for the villa gate buzzed. Leo answered it, turning to look at Anna, before he pressed the button to open the gate and replaced the phone.
‘It’s Verity. She wants to talk to you.’
‘I can’t see her now. I’m going to take a shower and get dressed,’ Anna said. ‘I’m sorry. You’ll have to talk to her. Get rid of her,’ and Anna ran into the villa leaving Leo to deal with their unexpected visitor.
Upstairs Anna took her time, soaking in the bath rather than having a shower, deciding what to wear and then applying her makeup. It was nearly an hour before she went back down-stairs, relieved not to hear voices.
‘Leo darling I’m sorry I took so long,’ she said walking out through the kitchen to the terrace. ‘I’m ready now. Where shall we go ...’ her voice trailed away as she saw Verity sitting with Leo. She turned to go back indoors.
‘Anna, listen to what Verity has come to say,’ Leo said standing up. ‘I’ll leave you two alone to talk.’
‘Leo, please stay,’ Anna said moving across to hold his hand before turning to face Verity.
‘Do I call you Verity or Felicity? Did Teddy send you?’
‘Most people these days call me Verity and, no,’ Verity shook her head, ‘Teddy didn’t send me. He doesn’t know I’m here. He’s told me that I’m to sever all contact with you.’
‘So, why are you here?’ Anna asked.
‘Because I like you, Cindy likes you and I know if he’d only give himself the chance to get to know you, Teddy would come to like you too.’
‘He told you about our meeting in the cottage last night? Told you what he said? How he made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with me when I told him who I was.’
Verity nodded. ‘He told me. He’s also saying knowing his father’s family will be enough but I know it won’t. Deep down he’s desperate to know the whole truth about his past, to know what both his parents were like, to see any family likenesses that have come down through the generations. To know who he truly is.’
Anna gave a wry smile. ‘That desire certainly wasn’t showing last night. Anyway, how do you propose getting him to change his mind about me?’
Verity shook her head. ‘Not me. You. I want you to talk to him.’
‘No.’
‘Meet him on Saturday morning and tell him your side of the story,’ Verity pleaded. ‘He’ll be at the villa alone – Nat is taking Cindy out and I’ve promised myself some last minute retail therapy in the rue d’Antibes. You can explain things. I’m sure he’ll respond.’
‘No,’ Anna repeated.
‘Anna,’ Leo said. ‘Don’t you think ...’
Anna shook her head. ‘What part of the word “no” do neither of you understand? Teddy would only be meeting me under sufferance and I, the guilty one, and make no mistake I am as guilty in my own eyes as I am in his, would have to try to persuade him to listen. Then, to forgive me for something I find as unforgivable as he does.’
Both Verity and Leo looked at her in silence.
‘Sorry, but I’ve finally made up my mind to let the past go and to make the most of the present and the future. Of course I would like nothing more than to get to know Teddy and I long to tell Cindy I am her grandmother but I can’t inflict a grandmother on her who her father detests. It would do nothing but create tension between them, and I’d hate to be the cause of that. I’ve caused enough unhappiness as it is.’
‘Please Anna,’ Verity pleaded. ‘Try again with Teddy. I know he will eventually respond. As for Cindy, she already adores you.’
Anna shook her head. ‘No. Any approach now has to come from Teddy. He has to be ready to listen. I will make you a promise though. If at any time in the future Teddy decides to contact me, I will see him and answer his questions. So I suggest you use your powers of persuasion on him if you really want to help.’
Verity sighed. ‘I intend to. Maybe when we’re living in England he’ll listen to sense.’ She glanced at Anna. ‘Are we still going to meet up occasionally? Have lunch?’
‘I’d like too,’ Anna said. ‘Though I’m not sure it would be wise. A complete break might be better, besides, I thought Teddy had told you to sever all contact with me?’
‘We don’t have to tell him do we?’ Verity said with a smile. ‘Anyway in a few months’ time things might have changed. He could want us all to be one big happy family.’
‘In my dreams,’ Anna said softly. ‘In my dreams.’