Renegade Lady (9 page)

I feel Sarah’s body jerk, and she whispers, “For a while?”

I ignore her and continue with my introduction.  “This is my sister-in-law, Mindy.”

Then, I turn towards Jenna.  “This is my… this is my Jenna.”

Jenna

As soon as dinner was over, I rushed to my room.  I just couldn’t stand being around Kidd and that woman any longer.  I know he’s not my boyfriend, but I still hate to see him with anyone else.  Just the thought of him with her breaks my heart.  I barely make it to my bed before the tears start to fall.  I’m crying so hard that I don’t even hear the door open.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Mindy asks, walking into my room.

I rush to wipe the tears from my eyes and paste on a fake smile.  “I’m fine, just a little tired.”

She closes the door and walks towards my bed.  “You weren’t tired before Sarah showed up.”

I shrug.  “I stayed up last night. I guess it finally just hit me.”

She sits on my bed and grabs my hand.  “You know it’s not nice to lie to a dying woman.”

Anger bubbles up inside me.  “Don’t joke about that.”

She releases my hand and lays down, throwing her arm around my waist.  “Okay.  I’m sorry. I know it bothers you.”

“Thank you,” I whisper out. 

We lay quiet for a moment before Mindy starts to talk about the elephant in the room.  Actually, I guess it’s the elephant in the other room.  “Kidd didn’t mean hurt you.”

“I know.”

“You don’t need to worry about her.  She isn’t his old lady. She’s just a hanger on.   She’ll never last.”

“Yeah,” I say, even though I’m not sure that she’s right about that.  It only took a few minutes of being around them to know that the woman is in love with Kidd.  I can’t really say for sure how he feels, but I can tell he cares for her. 

“Sweetheart, you’re still young.  Give it a little time, and everything will work out.”

I nod and grab her hand, pulling her arm tighter around me.  “I love you, Mom.”

She places a soft kiss on the back of my head.  “I love you too, sweetheart.”

We lay like that for a long time, neither of us saying anything.  I think she just needed to be close to me, and I know I just needed her.  I don’t know what I’m going to do when she’s gone.  That’s something I don’t even want to think about, but looking down at the frail hand holding mine, I know it’s going to happen soon.  I start to close my eyes when I hear the door open.  Mindy and I turn around and see Kidd standing in the doorway.  “Is this a private party or can anyone join?”

Mindy lets go of my hand and slides out of the bed.  “I think it should be a party for two, and I don’t think I need to be one of those two.”

With those words, she walks towards Kidd.  When she gets near him, she lays her hand on his shoulder and smiles.  Then she walks from the room, shutting the door behind her.  I look from the door to Kidd, hoping that he can’t tell I’ve been crying. 

“Won’t your girlfriend get mad if you leave her out there by herself too long?” I ask sarcastically.  As soon as the words leave my mouth, I start to blush.  I know I sounded like a jealous girlfriend, but I couldn’t help it. 

Kidd shrugs.  “If she does, she’ll get over it.  Nothing comes between me and my girl.”

Hearing him call me his girl brings a smile to my face.  I finally look up to him and smile.  “I’m glad you’re home.”

“I am too, baby doll,” he says as he walks towards me.  He crawls into the bed and lays down beside me, pulling me flush to his front.  “I missed you, Jenna.”

“I missed you too,” I whisper out, trying to concentrate on the feeling of his body next to mine.

“Tell me what’s been going down while I was gone.  I heard you’ve been dating,” he says, sounding harsh.

“I went on a date or two, nothing serious.”

“Do you like this guy?”

“Who?”

He blows out a breath, tickling the back of my neck.  “The guy you went out with.”

“Not really.  He’s just some boy from school. He was kind of boring.”  I shrug, my shoulder sliding across his chest.  “He has an old car. Some kind of muscle car.  He thought it was the shit, kept bragging about how fast it went.  I asked him if he ever drove a Harley, and he said that he wasn’t in to motorcycles.  I knew then he wasn’t the guy for me.”

He chuckles, and I can feel the vibrations through my body.  “You’re right.  When you get a man, he’ll drive a Harley.”

“Yes, he will,” I agree, visions of Kidd on his Harley running through my head.

After that, we lay there quietly.  Him holding me, and me enjoying being close to him.  Finally, my eyes start to get heavy.  I’m just falling to sleep when his lips brush the top of my head.  I spend the rest of the night dreaming of his kiss, but in my dreams, his lips are on mine.

Kidd

I leave Mindy and Chipper’s with Jenna on my mind.   I cannot believe how fuckin’ much she’s changed. She’s still the same Jenna, just a more mature version.  The fascination I had with her before is nothing compared to how I feel now.  I thought being gone as long as I was had helped me get over my feelings for her.  Well, maybe not get over her, but at least lessen the need I had for her.  Instead, the minute I see her again, I want her more now than ever.  

Sarah senses my mood shift as soon as we step outside. “What’s the matter, baby?”

Fuck, I need to break this to her, but I don’t know how. Over the past eleven months, I’ve grown to care for her. Do I love her? Hell, no.  But I do care enough about her not to want to cause her pain.  I knew I shouldn’t have ever brought her here.  When she asked if she could come along, something inside of my head kept telling me to say no.  It’s like it just knew something has always been missing, and now I know what it is. It’s Jenna.

“We’ll talk at the club house,” I grunt out.

She shifts in her seat and asks, “I thought we were going home, baby?”

She’s right.  I planned on moving her into my apartment; a place that I don’t stay at very often and that no one from the club ever goes.  I guess somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought I could keep her there and away from Jenna.  Now, the thought of having her in my home seems wrong.  “Yeah, I changed my mind. We’ll talk at the club house.”

I walk to my bike without saying another word.  I can feel her stare boring onto my back, but she stays quiet too.  

Ten minutes later, I pull through the gate to the compound and park in my spot. Sarah pulls in beside me as I’m sliding off my bike.  She follows me quietly to my room, passing the brothers I haven’t seen in nearly year, but I don’t stop to talk and they don’t call out. Guess my body is giving off the ‘don’t fuck with me’ vibe. 

I unlock my door and lead Sarah inside. I walk to the bed and sit, leaning forward, and put my head into my hands. Shit, what can I say?  There’s no nice way to explain this to her, and she deserves nice. 

I feel her walk over to me, but I don’t look up.  She sits down beside me and places her hand on my leg.  “Baby, what’s going on? Something wrong?”

I snort. “You think? Of course, something’s wrong.  My sister-in-law is dying.”

“But that’s not what you’re so upset over, is it?”

I stand up and start pacing the room. “When I brought you here, I thought we could give it a go.  You’re a great woman, and an amazing friend.  You’re a fucking firecracker in bed; everything a man could want.”

I stop pacing and look at her.  “It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong, but you’re not the woman for me.”

“Who is?” she asks, jumping from the bed.  “That kid? She’s what all this is about?”

I can do nothing but nod.  “I’m sorry, but the minute I saw her, I knew this wouldn’t work out.”

“What the fuck are you going to do, hook up with a seventeen year old?”

I shake my head.  “No, she turns eighteen in four months.  I can wait that long, but the minute she’s legal, I’ll be making her mine.”

Sarah says nothing. She just continues to look at me like I’m a piece of shit.  Why shouldn’t she? I am a piece of shit after all. “Sarah, I’m so sorry.”

“You talk about her all the time.  Your baby girl,” she says, venom lacing through her voice.  “You had to know you wanted her, so why the hell did you bring me here?”

“I told you, I thought we could give it shot. I didn’t think my feelings for Jenna were anything more than me looking out for her, but fuck, the feelings I shouldn’t have had for her before I left are still there. Only they’re stronger now.  I just can’t keep ignoring them.”

She starts to shake her head.  “You can’t do this to me.  You were supposed to make me you’re old lady.”

“That’s not fucking true,” I shout, starting to get angry.  “I never made you any promises.  I made sure you knew that before I brought you here.  I told you I didn’t know how long this shit between us would last.”

“No!  You just said that. You didn’t mean it.  You love me, and I refuse to let you throw me to the side for some little bitch.”

My anger explodes and I grab her by the arm.  “I never once said I loved you.  I wouldn’t, because I don’t.  There’s only one woman I love, and if I ever hear you talk about her like that again, I’ll lay your ass out.”

She pulls away and steps back.  “Fine. I won’t say shit about your precious baby girl, but I ain’t leaving.  I have nowhere to go.  You told me I could work at The Kitty Kat.  Let me strip for a few months. You can at least let me stay until I can save up some money.” 

I stare at her for a moment before my anger begins to fade.  This is my fault.  The least I can do is give her a little time to get shit straight.   “You’ve got four months.”

CHAPTER Eight

Kidd

Mindy’s gone. I can’t believe it. We’re lucky she lasted as long as she did. We ended up having a lot more time than the doctor thought we would; a little over three months.  Thank God I came back when I did.  I’m not sure I could have ever forgiven Pop if I hadn’t gotten to talk to her one last time.  Seeing her lying in the hospital, taking her last breath, was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it was also a privilege. It was a privilege to have had her as my sister in this life, a privilege to be her brother-in-law, and a privilege to share in all the goodness that was Mindy. 

As I turn to walk away from the casket, I see Jenna standing in the corner of the funeral home crying.  I know there’s nothing I can do to take her pain away, but I still walk towards her and pull her into my arms.  “I’m so sorry, baby girl.”

She buries her head into my shoulder and lets her pain out.  Her body convulses with sobs, and I can feel every ounce of the grief that she has coursing through her body.  Even though she’s only known Mindy for a little over a year, I know she’s hurting every bit as much as I did when I lost my mother.   “She loved you, Jenna.  You were the daughter she always wanted.  You made the last year of her life the happiest she’d ever lived.”

She draws in a labored breath, then pulls her face back and looks up to me.  “She was the best mom ever, and I’m just not sure I can live without her.”

I give her a tight squeeze and place my forehead on hers.  “You can, and you will.  It’ll just be hard for a while.  As time goes on, you’ll get to a point where you can look back at the time you had with her for the gift it was.”

“It wasn’t a gift. It was a reward,” she whispers out. 

“A reward?”

“Yes, I think God sent her to me.  She was my reward for all the bad shit that’s happened to me in my life.” Her tears start to come faster as she continues to talk. “I would go through it all again, just to have my Mindy back.”

Hearing her talk about the past, even not going into detail, kills me.  I hate that my girl had to go through all that shit.  If I could, I’d dig Rig’s ass up just to kill the motherfucker again.   I pull my head back and kiss her forehead.  “She told me once that you were a gift from God.”

“She told me that too.  She said that she used to pray that she could have a baby, but it never happened.  Then, I showed up and she knew that I was the baby she had prayed for.” She looks up to me and a sad smile crosses her face.  “She said that God knew how much she would’ve hated changing diapers and wiping snotty noses, so he sent her a child that could take care of her own bodily functions.”

I let out a quiet chuckle and start to respond when I see Sarah walking towards us.  I let go of Jenna and take a step back.  I don’t want to, but I also don’t want Sarah starting any shit here.  She’s been pretty good about everything so far, but I can tell she’s ready to explode. 

It only took her a few minutes of seeing me with Jenna for her to realize that Jenna meant more to me than she ever would.   I should’ve sent Sarah home right away, but I hoped she’d help me keep my hands off Jenna.  Needless to say, a woman doesn’t like being used as a stand in for the one you really want. 

She stops a few feet from us and places her hands on her hips.  “Are you ready to sit down yet?”

“I’ll be there in a minute.”

“I’m ready to sit down, now,” she says, drawing out the now. 

“Well, I’m talking to Jenna right now.”

Her eyes cut to Jenna then back to me.  “I can see that, but I think it’d be better if she was up there with Chipper.  Don’t you?”

I can see the anger working in her eyes, and I know that I either go with her now, or she’s going to throw a bitch fit in the middle of Mindy’s funeral.  I can’t let that happen, so I turn to Jenna.  “Baby girl, why don’t you go on and sit by Chipper?”

“Are you not going to sit with us?” she whispers.

I don’t get the chance to respond before Sarah butts her big ass in.  “No, we’re going to sit in the back.”

Jenna looks up to me, tears in her eyes.  “I really wanted you to sit with us.”

Again, Sarah answers her.  “Well, I’m sorry honey.  There’s not enough room for Kidd and me in the front row, and I’m Kidd’s woman.  I need to be there to comfort him today.  A man needs his woman when he’s upset, not some little girl.”

I reach out and grab Sarah’s arm, jerking her to me.  I bend down and whisper in her ear,  “Shut the fuck up, or I swear I’ll have you packing your shit and heading back to Mateland before the day’s over.”

“I have nowhere to go,” she whispers angrily. 

“Then you’ll do what I said and shut the fuck up,” I say before turning to Jenna.  “Go on up to Chipper.  I’ll talk to you after the service.”

She doesn’t respond, just walks away.  She’s only a few feet away, when she looks back to me.  The look on her face is full of pain.  Not the same pain as she had earlier, but a different kind completely.  The kind of pain that someone feels when their best friend betrays them.  She shakes her head sadly and turns away, and I know that everything between us has just changed. 

I jerk my head towards Sarah and growl out, “You’ve got two weeks, and then I want your ass gone.”

Jenna

Setting up the house after Mindy’s funeral sucks. All the old ladies brought a ton of food yesterday, so at least I didn’t have to cook, but I still had to get everything set up.  Feeding nearly a hundred bikers isn’t easy, especially when all you want to do is lay down and cry.  Timber and Reese are helping me out, since Chipper is drunk and crying.  Wish I was too. It’d be nice to dull the pain I’m in. 

As I’m setting the last casserole on the table, I see Roxy slip onto the couch beside Chipper.  She’s been trying to chat him up for months. Let me tell you, that bitch has some nerve. When Mindy was still alive, she used to come over here all the time.  She said she was here to help, but not one time did she lift a finger to help me take care of Mindy.  Instead, she’d try to hit on Chipper.  One time, I heard her tell him they could make it quick.   She said he wouldn’t last long since he hadn’t been getting any from Mindy.  I braced, hoping he wouldn’t be like my Dad and jump at the chance, and instead he got pissed and told her to back the fuck off.  He also told her to never step foot in his house again. I guess she didn’t listen. 

Roxy was pissed when it happened, but she still wanted Chipper.  I could see it in her eyes every time they were around each other.  Now, she thinks his wife’s funeral is the perfect opportunity to get him.  The bitch is unbelievable.  She just doesn’t get it.  Chipper loved Mindy. He wouldn’t cheat on her.  He sure in the hell wouldn’t fuck someone on the day of her funeral. 

I turn to Reese who’s standing beside me with a look of pure disgust on his face. “What the hell is her problem? Mindy’s funeral was today, and she’s over there trying to get at him. What do you see in her?” I say, almost hysterically.

Reese looks at me, eyes darkening. “One day, babe, I’ll tell you, trust me, I ain’t got no choice but to keep her around.” He then looks back up and shakes his head at his wife.  “If I could, she’d be out on her ass.”

I start ask him what the hell he’s talking about when the door opens and Kidd and Sarah walk in.  I can’t believe he brought her here.  She’s been nothing but a bitch to me for the last three months. I look up to Reese and whisper, “I can’t believe that he brought her here after she was such a bitch at the funeral home.”

He places his hand on my shoulder and gives it a tight squeeze.  “Just ignore her ass.  Her expiration date is coming up soon.  You won’t have to put up with her much longer.”

“What do you mean by that?”

He shrugs.  “Not my place to tell you, but you’ll find out soon enough.”

Strong arms circle my waist before pulling me back into a wall of muscle.  “What are you two over here whispering about?”

Before I respond, Reese clears his throat and nods his head towards the doorway.  I pull away from Timber and turn around.  Sarah is walking right towards me.  “Shit!”

Timber leans down and whispers in my ear.  “Don’t let her upset you.  That’s what she wants.”

She stops a few feet in front of me, just looking at me with her hate filled eyes.  I swear she stares at me so long, I start to feel like I’m some sort of art piece in a museum. I look around for Kidd, sighing, but only see the back of him, leading Chipper out the door.

Finally, I look back at Sarah. “Can I help you?” I say, doing my best to sound bored.

“Yeah, you can stay the fuck away from my man,” she says snottily.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, bitch.  I’ve had enough of you strutting your ass in front of him.  If he wanted you, he wouldn’t be with me.”

Her words hit me right in my heart, mostly because I know they’re true.  He wouldn’t be with her if he wanted me, but he doesn’t want me.  I’m just his little sister.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.  If you have a problem, maybe you should talk to Kidd about it.”

“My only problem is you.  I want you to take your ass away from here.  This is Kidd’s brother’s house.  He shouldn’t have to put up with you panting after him every time he comes to visit.”

I feel Timber’s body tighten behind mine, so I place my hand on his to let him know I got this. “I live here. It’s my home, and I’m not leaving.”

“You’re only here because Chipper feels sorry for you.  Do you really think he wants some bit of used goods around all the time?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Reese growls out.  At the same time as Timber says, “Close your fuckin’ mouth before I close it for you.”

If her earlier words had been a hit to the heart, these are punches straight to the gut.  Not once has anyone brought up what happened to me in Mateland, especially not like that.  Mindy and me talked about it a time or two, but only when I had nightmares, and only to comfort me.  The worst part is that I know Kidd had to have told her, because she would’ve never known about it if he hadn’t. 

I know I gotta say something, or Reese and Timber are going to go off on her ass.  Finally, I choke out.  “Whatever, seems to me you’re just jealous of this used bit of goods.”

With that, I start to walk away. I barely make it a foot before she reaches out and grabs my arm.  She swings me around to face her. “Listen here, you little slut.”

She doesn’t get further before Timber sends the side of his hand into her forearm, causing her to let go. “Hands off. Now!” Timber snaps.

I stumble backwards, landing in Reese’s arms.  “I got you, Jenna.”

Timber gets in her face and starts to yell, “I take it you don’t know the fuckin’ rules around here, so let me enlighten you.  She’s the princess around here. Fuck with her, fuck with all of us. There is not a man in this room that wouldn’t lay his life down for her any day.  I know you think you’re big shit because you’re with Kidd, but we don’t give a flying fuck whose dick you’re riding.  You mess with her, and your ass is dead.”

Sarah’s face pales before responding.  “I was just laying claim to what’s mine.”

Timber bends closer to her, almost touching her nose with his.  “That’s bullshit, and you know it. You’re time’s coming, and you’re grasping at strings.  But let me tell you, it doesn’t matter what you do. You’ve already lost. Now get the fuck away from me.”

At that, Sarah turns around and rushes across the room.  I let out a relived breath.  “My God, she’s a bitch.”

Reese chuckles.  “You got that right, Jenna.” When Reese first came back after being in Mateland with Kidd, he would tell me about Sarah. About how nice she was, sweet, a good person, then she moves here with Kidd, and she turns into a mega bitch. I’ve never seen a nice Sarah, not once since I’ve met her.

The words barely leave his mouth, before Roxy storms over, taking Sarah’s spot. “What the fuck, Reese? You’re always on my ass about what I do, and here you are with your hands all over the kid.  I better not find out you’re fucking her.”

“What I do, bitch, is none of your fuckin’ business.”

“Everything you do is my business, as long as you want Rosalie to keep calling you Daddy,” she shouts.