Renewed Faith (CSA Case Files 3 / Military Romance) (34 page)

Elle cracked the door, allowing cold air to breeze into the entryway. No taxi. She let it click shut, resting her forehead on the hard surface. She needed to be away from here to clear her mind. She needed to do something that made her feel worthwhile.

“Elle, are you okay?”

Elle turned to find that Max was being handed his jacket from Hannah. She remembered him saying that he had to leave early this evening and that Nick would be taking over as Dungeon Monitor for the rest of the night. He was a really nice man but she didn’t want to make small talk.

“Yes, I’m just waiting for a taxi.”

“I’m heading out,” Max said with a gesture of his hand. “I can give you a lift.”

“No, thanks.” Elle tried to smile, but she knew it came across as forced. She didn’t want Max to give her a ride to Reformation for he might mention something to Kevin. She knew the two of them spoke on a regular basis. Right now, she needed distance to figure out how to accept what had happened this evening. “I appreciate it though.”

“Really, it’s no trouble.” Max opened the door, triggering Elle to cross her arms to ward off the cold. “Honestly, I’m surprised you’re not getting a ride from Kevin. Everything all right between the two of you?”

“Oh, look,” Elle exclaimed with relief, “there’s my ride. Have a good night.”

Elle swiftly made her way across the sidewalk without glancing back. She reached for the cold handle and swung the door to the back of the cab open. Climbing in, she rattled off the address before looking back and seeing Max standing there watching as the driver pulled away. She hoped that he went about his business and didn’t say anything to Kevin. All she wanted was a few hours where she could be herself.

Reaching into her pocket, Elle pulled out the cash that she’d placed there in order to pay for the items that she’d purchased the other night. Thinking about that night caused a sob to well up in her chest and she let the green paper fall to her lap as she covered her face. She needed to regain her composure, but knowing that she’d lost everything she’d loved was harder to accept than the night she’d decided how to survive. It was a hell of a time to realize that she loved Kevin. Wiping her eyes, she then counted how much money she’d need for the ride and pocketed the rest. It didn’t take long to reach Reformation. After paying the driver, Elle quickly exited and slammed the door.

The porch light was on, illuminating the steps up to the front door. Knowing this late that Cam and Eric would have locked up for the evening, Elle rang the doorbell and waited. After what felt like an eternity, the door finally opened to reveal Cam holding a cup of his famous hot chocolate. The familiar sight finally caused her tears to fall. Cam didn’t say a word and folded her gently in his arms.

*   *   *   *

“Where’s Taggart?”

Kevin felt antsy and apprehensive upon walking into the police station, knowing full well it had nothing to do with the case and everything to do with Elle. Maybe he should have had it out with her before leaving the club. At least to point out how wrong she was. Once again, she was trying to put words into his mouth and trying to alter the way he felt. He didn’t love an idea…he loved her. Absolutely. Totally. Infinitely. What was it going to take to make her believe that?

“Went to speak with the judge personally,” Detective Schragg answered as he walked by Taggart’s desk.

“Fucking great,” Kevin muttered underneath his breath as he sank into Taggart’s beaten-up old leather chair. Phones were ringing, the copier machine was whirling, and stale air permeated the ventilation. This place would suck to work in. He ignored the distractions and started shifting through the folders on Taggart’s desk. Kevin knew that his friend would have left the information for him to review while he ran his errand. Nothing. “Beetle, did Taggart leave me anything?”

The robust detective that was sitting at the desk in front of Taggart’s turned around in his chair and shook his head. A phone was tucked in between his shoulder and ear, letting Kevin know why he wasn’t replying. Kevin nodded his appreciation and then sat back to wait. He pushed his fingers against his tired eyes, Elle appearing in the darkness. Maybe he should call the club, make sure that Connor gave her his message. At least he’d be able to hear her voice. Kevin took out his cell phone and continued contemplating, wondering if a call would make it better or worse.

*   *   *   *

“What made me think that this would work?”

“Because it can?” Cam asked, sitting on the couch with Elle. The girls that were present had retired to their rooms upon her arrival. She knew it was because Cam shooed them out and she didn’t argue. Rachel wasn’t around, which turned out to be a good thing. The last thing Elle wanted to do was argue about Hash and Bee. “Elle, it sounds to me as if he accepted all of you. Besides Kevin thinking that Eric is guilty of murder, he seems like a good guy. So you two had a fight. I’m sure it won’t be your last.”

“It was a little more than that,” Elle admitted, tightening her hand on the warm mug that Cam had supplied her with. The marshmallows were melting into the hot chocolate, but she didn’t care. It wasn’t like she was going to drink it and she doubted that Cam would have the stomach for his after she told him the truth. “I told him that I slept with Eric.”

“You told him…” The look of confusion on Cam’s face turned to hurt and squeezed Elle’s heart. “You and Eric had a relationship? Why didn’t I know about this?”

“It was a long time ago, Cam.” Elle leaned forward and placed her cup on the coffee table. The common area was cast in soft lighting from the side table lamps and where it usually generated a comfortable atmosphere, she was feeling anything but. “I was seventeen. It was one night. I didn’t see the need to say anything once I started to volunteer here. Eric’s changed over the years. I’m sure you know that. You’re his brother.”

“Oh my God. Eric’s the one that introduced you to Bee, isn’t he?” Cam placed his mug next to hers, leaning forward to grab a hold of her hands. “You should have told me, Elle. We don’t talk about our past very often, but our mother was a prostitute. She, well, she did what she had to do to support us. It was hard on her, and eventually she just gave up. A man brutally raped her and the internal damage was just too much. I knew what my mission was in this life and that’s what Eric and I have created here.”

“I understand all too well,” Elle said, squeezing his fingers. She felt bad that they were raised in that life. “Which is why you should understand that women like me don’t get happily ever afters.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Elle. I’ve seen and even had a hand in helping these girls obtain a life. Obtain happiness. You’ve come such a long way. Don’t give up just because you two fought about Eric. I’m sure the evidence will eventually exonerate him and Kevin will have another suspect. As for you and Eric, that certainly explains the tension that surrounds the two of you. Have you ever talked about it with him?”

“There’s nothing to say.” Elle released Cam’s hands, needing to stand. She walked around the room, looking at various pictures positioned on the furniture and hanging on the wall. In one of the pictures was a red-haired woman, a child on each side of her and one in her arms. Her lipstick appeared brighter in color than anything else in the photo, but the woman’s smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I can see how hard Eric works for Reformation. I know he’s changed.”

“So if you believe Eric has changed, why not you? Why do you think you’re the only one who still has to suffer for the decisions you made when you were young?”

“Your mother?” Elle asked, pointing to the frame while looking over her shoulder for Cam’s reaction. She purposefully didn’t answer his questions. “She’s beautiful.”

“That photo was taken right before she went to work the streets that night,” Cam said, his voice low as if he were taken back to that time. His eyes were glued to the photo and Elle felt a twinge of guilt for using it to make her point. “She used to put on this red lipstick when she went to work. That’s how we knew she’d be gone for the night and that we would have to fend for ourselves.” Cam tilted his head and then focused his gaze on her. “I know where you’re going with this, but it isn’t the same. Your circumstances are different. Do you want to know what I think?”

“Not really, but that has never stopped you before.” Elle turned, crossing her arms and knowing what he was going to say before he said it. “Go on.”

“I think when Kevin told you he loved you…you panicked. You did what came natural and instantly went on the defense. Now it’s time for you to face the truth. You are worthy of love, Elle, but it’s up to you to accept it. You said Kevin keeps bringing up this courage that you have.” Cam reached for both mugs and once they were in hand, stood up and walked her way. He handed her one and then continued to clink the cups together. “Show Kevin he’s right.”

“What if he doesn’t take me back?” Elle whispered, looking down at the creamy liquid that was now cool. “What if I’ve really messed up this time?”

“Love doesn’t take a hike just because of a disagreement,” Cam scolded. “Take Rachel. She’s up in her room packing, getting her things ready to move in with Hash. Granted, they’ll have a rough haul of it if Hash doesn’t get his crap together, but Rachel refuses to give up on him.”

She shook her head in disappointment, hoping that Rachel would come to her senses. Elle heard a vehicle pull up in front of house. Looking out the sheer curtains, she could see that it was Eric’s SUV. Thinking back to how adamant Kevin was about Eric being the killer, she decided it was best that she leave. She had a lot of making up to do as it was, but first, she needed to call a taxi.

“Cam, thank you.” Elle reached out and hugged him tight. Here she thought she hadn’t had friends before Lauren and Emily. How wrong she’d been. Just as wrong as she was regarding Kevin’s feelings. He
did
love her. “I’m going to have a small chat with Rachel while I wait for my taxi. Then I’m going to dig real deep for this bravery that everyone says I have. It’s got to be in here somewhere.”

“It was always there, Elle. You just needed to be shown.”

Chapter Twenty-Nine

“W
here the hell have you been?”

Kevin stood upon seeing Taggart walking toward his desk. He was holding up papers in his hand as if in victory, but Kevin had yet to see the prize. He’d been waiting for more than an hour and he’d been about to abandon whatever the hell it was he was doing here to go back to the club. He couldn’t take that Elle really believed he didn’t love her. If it was one thing their lifestyle in BDSM would achieve, it was that she didn’t get to say how he felt.

“I’ve been wheeling and dealing, my friend. Thanks to you, I was able to get two arrest warrants signed.” Taggart folded the papers and shoved them into the inside pocket of his suit jacket. “Did you look at the file?”

“What fucking file?” Kevin growled, sick of being kept in the dark. He swept his hand over the mess of papers. “You didn’t leave me anything.”

“The hell I didn’t.” Taggart shuffled some papers around on his desk until he came up with a manila folder. He held it out for Kevin. “It’s right here.”

Kevin yanked the folder out of the detective’s hand, looking down at the tab. It was blank. Instead of roaring in anger that he couldn’t possibly know what the folder had contained, he gritted his teeth and opened the front to reveal the papers inside. A bunch of nonsense glared off of the page.

“Taggart, I’m in a fucking bad mood. Translate.”

“We leave in three minutes,” Taggart said after twisting his wrist to see his watch. “I picked a few men to go with us to serve the warrants and they’re getting ready now. You know how we got the DNA results from the first two rapes? We didn’t get a hit in the system. Well, the results from the first murder came across my desk this afternoon. They don’t match the assaults but this fucker was in the system. You’re not going to believe it.”

“What do you mean, they don’t match?” Kevin dropped the folder on Taggart’s desk. “When both Becky and Melanie were beaten unconscious, lipstick was applied to their lips that matched that of both murder victims. We’re looking for the same guy.”