Renewed (The Fractured Series Book 3) (4 page)

Chapter
Seven

“I’ll call you at nine,” Rob said when he drove me home.

“I’ll be waiting.” It was harder and harder to leave him each time.

I closed the front door behind me and walked into my living room. The whole family was sitting around the television, waiting for me. Dad lowered the volume.

“Mandy, could you come in here for a minute?” Mom said.

“Sure, Mom. What’s up?”

“Have a seat, Sweetie,” Mom said.

My eyes darted around the room and studied everyone’s faces. Bryan didn’t look happy. “Am I in trouble?”

“No. Why would you think that?” Dad asked.

“Because you’re all in the same room and you want to talk to me. I swear, whatever it is, I didn’t do it. I’ve been at the mall with Jennifer all day, and Rob just dropped me off.”

“You haven’t done anything wrong, Mandy,” Dad started. “We just want to talk to you about something important.”

Part of me hoped it was Dad coming clean with the whole family. I looked at Bry
an. “Is everything all right?”

With a less-than-enthusiastic look, Bryan said, “Yeah, just great.”

“Jennifer? The baby? The wedding?”

“Mandy, just sit down,” Mom said.

I sat on the couch next to Bryan. My eyes stayed fixed on him as his head flopped back on the couch.

“Mandy,” Dad’s tone was very fatherly. “Since Bryan won’t be able to attend Notre Dame in the fall, your Mom and I want to offer you the money we’ve saved for your own college tuition. I know you’ve only applied to the community college over here, but maybe you can apply to that medical college a few towns over.”

“But what about when Bryan is ready for college, after the baby is born?”

Bryan’s head flipped up from the back of the couch. He looked happy that I hadn’t written his life off as a failure yet
, the way my father obviously had.

“We’ll keep saving, and by then
, maybe he can foot his own bill with all the money he’ll be earning in that big fancy stock office his new father-in-law is going to give him.” Dad gave Bryan a look that showed his displeasure with the path his son was on.

The silence in the room was awkward. On one hand, this was my opportunity to go to college and study
neuroscience. On the other hand, I was stripping Bryan of his chance to pursue his own dreams. Well, he kind of did by being careless.

“Dad, I don’t know. I want to talk to Bryan about this
… alone.” I pulled Bryan’s hand and dragged him up to my room. I shut the door and pushed him onto the bed. I pulled the chair from my desk over to face him.

“What do you want to do about this? You can still go to school at night
; it just won’t be Notre Dame.” I looked into his face.

“I’ll be fine,
Mand. You use the money. At least one of us will be getting a good college education. I’ll be struggling just to learn what my new job will be, and getting used to being married. And then with the baby…” His voice trailed off. “I can’t throw college into mix. I’ll have a nervous breakdown.”

I never felt
sorrier for my brother. “Bryan, do you want to do this? Do you want to get married and have a baby? You aren’t even eighteen yet. There are alternatives, other choices.”

He looked at me, at first with worry, then with surety. “I love her, Mandy. And, she’s pregnant. She didn’t get that way all by herself. We should have used… I should have been more careful. If I ask her to do something she doesn’t want to do, she’ll never talk to me again. And
, although I’m terrified about being a husband and a dad, I’m even more terrified about losing her. I think Jennifer’s scared, too. But we’re going to try, just like Mom and Dad did when they had us. I don’t think I can live without her.”

I knew how he felt. I had the same feelings for Rob.

“Okay, then, this is what I’m proposing. I’ll go to college first, and when I’ve graduated, you’ll go. It’s the same plan we had before, except we’ll reverse the order. I was going to wait until you were done with Notre Dame, but now, you’ll just wait until I’m done at Stony Brook. I’m sorry you won’t have a football scholarship, but maybe you’ll find something else you’ll excel in. Maybe, you’ll earn millions in the stock market. You’re very smart, and I know you can do whatever you want to.”

His face lightened. “That’s a good idea. That’ll give me a chance to get into a groove with a comfortable job and figure out how to be a good husband and father. Then I can better myself so I can make Jennifer and the baby proud of me.”

I was so happy with Bryan’s line of thought. I hugged him.

“What was that for?” he asked.

“For thinking and being a responsible adult. I know you’re going to be a great husband and father, because you’re a fantastic brother.”

He squeezed harder. “Thanks, Mandy. You’re the best sister in the whole world.”

Before he walked out the door he said, “By the way, you got a letter today.”

“A letter? From who?

“I don’t know. I’ll get it.” He was gone and back in two minutes.

I looked at the return address
; it was from Suffolk County Jail. I opened the envelope and pulled out a folded slip of paper. The handwriting looked familiar.

Dear Mandy,

It has been several weeks since I saw you at the trial. I know I was a bit rough the last time we were together. It won’t be like that anymore
. I promise. I have regular visits with a counselor. He helps me with sorting out my feelings. Come visit me so you can see how well I’m doing now. It’s lonely here without you. I miss you.

Love, Jimmy.

I ripped it up and threw it in my trash.

It took a long time for me to fall asleep that night.

The fluorescent lights shone brightly, making the long hallway look stark and sterile. The walls were close together. It made me feel claustrophobic as I walked toward the door at the end. My heartbeat pounded in my eardrums as I reached out to grab the doorknob. With a slow turn, and a gentle push, it opened.

Jimmy was sitting at a large wooden desk. “So, you want to go to this college? You must pass the test before you’re allowed to attend.”

“Test?” I asked.

“There are three requirements. I have to see if you have what it takes. Cognitive: What is the square root of four?”

“Two.”

“Pass.” He checked off a box on his clipboard.

“Physical: Strip down to your underwear.”

I removed my clothing and stood before him. He looked me up and down several times. A sinister grin spread over his face.

“Very nice. Pass,” he said and checked off another box on his clipboard. “Emotional: Why him?”

I knew he meant Rob. “Because I love him.”

This time
, I wasn’t sweating when I woke up.

Chapter Eight

After the talk with my parents about college, things happened quickly. Mrs. Lindsey, my guidance counselor, helped me get all of the paperwork signed and submitted so I could send in a late application to Stony Brook University. She attached a note asking if they could review my transcript for possible enrollment for the fall. She promised they wouldn’t be disappointed with a student of my caliber. I bought her a plant for her office as a thank you.

Mrs. Sutton and my mother had countless lunches together to discuss wedding arrangements. It made me sick to think of my mother hanging out with my father’s slut, and they were going to be related in a weird kind of way. I wondered how it would affect my father, if it would at all.

Dad worked more hours, but I couldn’t be sure if he actually spent those hours at the shop
, or with Mrs. Sutton at that cheap, sleazy motel I saw them at a few months earlier.

Dillon was getting better at making eye contact with people who were talking to him
, and got an award for using a whole sentence in school.
Way to go, Dill!

Bryan went with Jennifer to the gynecologist for her next appointment. He couldn’t wait to show Mom and me the sonogram picture. Of course
, you couldn’t really tell what anything was; it was just a big, white, fuzzy blur, but that was my little niece or nephew, so I was excited too.

Courtney, Liz, Tanya, Michelle, and I all went for numerous fittings for our bridesmaids’ dresses. Courtney kept asking me about Rob’s cousin
, Eric – what his favorite color was, whether or not he dated older girls, if I thought he might be interested in her. I didn’t know the answer to any of the questions. It got to the point where I just wrote his phone number down on a piece of paper and handed it to her.

And Rob
… well, Rob was just wonderful. He was supportive and caring about every aspect of what was going on in my life, which surrounded me on every side. That’s why I totally missed what
he
was going through.

I used my key to open the
mahogany door to his house and walked straight into the kitchen with a bag of bagels in my arm. Rob was at the breakfast nook, looking down at the paper on the counter. He didn’t look up.

“Hey,” I said, looking at him with apprehension.

“Hey.”

“Rob, what’s wrong?” I put the bagels on the counter and walked around the nook to him. He still wouldn’t look at me. “Rob, what’s wrong?” I asked again. My hand caressed his back.

His blue eyes were red, as if he had been crying.

“Rob!”

“It was today.”

“What? What was today?”

“The fire…”

“Oh!” My arms wrapped around him
, and he stood from the chair into my embrace. He cried into my shoulder.
How selfish was I not to be there to support him during this time?
I tightened my arms and held him without another word.

Several moments went by before he composed himself. He pulled back and wiped the tears from his face. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” I held him at arms distance.

“I know you have a lot going on in your own household.”

“Rob, don’t be ridiculous. This is a hard day for you. Your whole life changed on this day. I wish I could have been there for you last year. I’m here for you now. What can I do to ease the pain?”

“There’s nothing you can do, Mandy.” Tears pooled in his eyes again.

“Rob, I don’t want you to hurt, but I know you are. I promise to do everything I can to help you through this, whatever it takes. I love you.”

He smiled. “I love you, too.”

I stroked his dark, wavy hair and smiled back at him. “I bought bagels. Are you hungry?”

“Not really.”

I took his hand. “How about we sit on the couch?”

He nodded and I led him to the off-white couch in the family room. When we sat, I put my arms around him and didn’t let go. No words were spoken. I ran my fingers through his hair, tracing each of his waves.

Several long minutes went by before he spoke. “I’m not happy I can’t walk down the aisle with you at the wedding,” Rob said. His voice was still weak from being upset.

“I’m not walking down the aisle with anyone. Jennifer wants the maid of honor to walk by herself. You, on the other hand, are walking down with Tanya.”

“I know, but I wanted to get the feel.”

“The feel of what?”

“Walking down the aisle with you.”

My spine tingled. “Well, you can pretend that Tanya is me.”

“Oh no. She isn’t amazing the way you are.” He was staring at me, and I felt warm all the way through my body. “If I’m going to walk down the aisle with someone, I would prefer it be you.” He smiled. It made me feel special that he didn’t want to even think of another girl next to him, especially walking down an aisle.

He was quiet.

“What are you thinking?” I asked.

“Just about my parents.”

I knew this day must be difficult for him. “Wanna talk about it?”

“I miss them, Mandy. My dad was my best friend. He taught me how to throw a football and how to swim. He took me to my first baseball game
, and bought me a hot dog and cotton candy. He built me a rocket and pretended to go to the moon with me.” He hesitated. Then he looked at me. “My mom grew roses and filled the house with flowers. She answered every question I had. She taught me how to read, and how to love.” This time the tears rolled down more quickly.

I cupped my hand under his jaw. I said nothing, but I hoped he would read my eyes, which said, “It’s all right. I’ll take care of you.”

“They’ll never see me accomplish any of my plans. They won’t be at my graduation, or see me get married, or spoil my children. They don’t know how happy I am now, or know how wonderful you are.”

I pulled him into my chest and kissed the top of his head. His body shook as he sobbed. I wanted to hold him until the pain went away. I was prepared to do
this forever.

Several long minutes passed. I didn’t move until Rob had composed himself again.

He lifted his head. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing. You miss them. They were taken too soon.” I searched his face. He offered a small, forced smile. “I know I can’t replace them, Rob, but I’m here for you. I’ll hold your hand and be next to you every step of the way. I love you.”

He pulled close to me and gave me a firm hug. “They would have adored you, you know.”

“Well, I adore you.” I looked up at his face. I kissed him and tried to mute his sorrow.

“Let’s do something,” I said. I wanted to keep his mind occupied.

He looked at me. “I want to go to our spot.”

After I cut up the bagels, placed them in a Ziploc bag, and stored them in the freezer, we drove to my house and parked the car that Rob bought me for Christmas. I had to keep it a block away so Dad wouldn’t see that it was me who was driving. I couldn’t tell him about the lessons Rob had secretly been giving me, or the Driver’s Ed class I signed up for through school until I took my driver’s test, which was scheduled for the Thursday after Easter. I knew it would throw my father over the edge. Not that I should care about what he thought, but I did.

We held hands as we walked down the dirt-beaten path until the familiar sight of the creek came into view. It was the first time we had come back since the fall. The sprouting buds on the trees promised another beautiful canopy for the summer. Small shoots of grass started to push up through the dirt. New moss blanketed the rocks I loved to sit on and draw.

“Every time I come here, I’m amazed at how beautiful it is,” he said walking forward toward the water. “I’m so glad you’ve shared this place with me.”

“I love it here.” I walked up behind him. My arms found his waist.

He pulled me around so I was in his embrace. He stared into my eyes. His still had evidence of his sadness reflected in them. The ability to control my limbs left me, and my heart hammered inside my chest. A finger caressed my cheek. He reached behind me and plucked the clip that held my long strawberry locks in place. I took it from him and pushed it into my pocket. Long fingers combed through my hair. His touch was electrifying. I felt it in every synapse.

Waiting as long as I could, the tidal wave of emotion took over. My mouth pressed on his. We kissed, but it wasn’t enough. The fire inside of me got hotter. I wanted him, and I could tell he wanted me. I wondered if the animals that lived in the woods would mind if I had my way with Rob in the middle of their sanctuary.

Without warning, rain fell. The leaves weren’t mature enough to keep the drops from hitting us. I thought my skin would sizzle when the cool water hit it. We could have easily run back to the car or my house, but Rob’s smile turned mischievous.

“Come on,” Rob said, grabbing my hand. He pulled me through the woods. I tried to keep up with his long strides as we ran deeper and deeper into the thick wall of trees. Bright green plants tried to grab our legs, but we moved too swiftly for them to catch us. The rain fell harder, pounding down on us. My hair stained dark. It was heavy
, and the curls stuck to my face. Rob kept running, pulling me with every step. We didn’t stop until I couldn’t breathe without gasping.

His halt was sudden. He pulled me close to him as the rain teemed down on us. It camouflaged us from nature’s light fighting to break through the clouds and the canopy of trees. I blinked to keep the rain out. His body was warm against my cold skin. I looked at his face. His dark, wavy hair hung over his eyes.

The rain was relentless as it poured from the sky. Our clothes clung to our bodies. The contours of his strong shoulders appeared through his wet tee shirt. Gentle hands cupped my jaw. I was no longer in the forest, but lost in him. A curtain of heavier drops rained down. It was hard to see through them, but I didn’t move or look away. He was beautiful. Fireworks exploded inside me as he moved closer, and then… he kissed me in the rain.

It was magical. Romantic. Wonderful! Energy ran rampant through every molecule of my body. The rhythm of my heart kept time with the raindrops pounding against the ground. Despite the cold water drenching us, his lips were soft and warm. He didn’t stop until the rain did. He pulled his face back to look at me. I didn’t care about the streaks of black mascara that must have been running down my cheeks
, or the wet strands of hair pasted to the back of my head. He looked at me as if I was the most beautiful girl on the planet. The two of us were drenched, but I didn’t care. He kissed me again. I felt the urgency in his mouth. He looked at me, my face still in his hands, and he said, “Mandy, I love you.”

I kissed him again and silently hoped for more rain.

**
*

“The two of you are soaked,” Mom said when we walked into the house. “Mandy, bring him upstairs and give him some of Bryan’s clothes. I’ll make some hot soup with dinner tonight.”

“You don’t have to go to any trouble, Mrs. Stewart. I can go home to change.”

“Nonsense. I’ll throw your clothes in the dryer and you can change back after we eat. Now go.”

Rob chased me up the stairs and into my room. When the door closed, he grabbed me by the waist. Our wet bodies clung together like
bits of paper to an electrically charged, plastic comb. He kissed me again. The same feelings I had in the woods started to re-emerge. I reached to the bottom of his wet shirt and peeled it over his head. Then I threw it on the floor.

He imitated my actions with my shirt. He leaned his head close to mine. His breath was sweet
, and my mouth searched for his. My hair dripped on the carpet and I shivered, but it wasn’t because I was cold. In fact, I was very, very hot.

I struggled to
shed my pants. I stood in front of him wearing just my bra and panties.

“Oh
, my God. Do you want to give me a heart attack in your parents’ house? Your father would kill me if he could read my thoughts right now.” He stepped forward to put his arms around me. He was wet and cold. I didn’t care. It was exhilarating.

“You should take your wet clothes off.” I pointed to his pants.

Without hesitation, he pulled the pants down to his ankles and stepped out of them. He resumed his advance, reaching his arms around my waist. He jumped back when he heard the front door slam downstairs.

I grabbed my bathrobe from the closet and said, “Wait here. I’ll get you some dry clothes.” I kissed him quickly before I walked out of the room. I returned a few seconds later with a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt from Bryan’s room. They weren’t much, but they were clean and dry.

I watched as he plunged each of his muscular legs into the pants, sorry to see some of his best features being covered up. Then he pushed his head through the top of the dry shirt. I helped straighten it so he could get his arms in the right holes. As I pulled the top into place, he put his arms around me.