Sadie lowered the Coke to the table. “Who?”
“Ask Mr. Koonz,” Clara Anne suggested, then bit her lips together.
“I will. Who’s Marisol?”
“It’s not my place to say.”
“You already did. Who’s Marisol?”
“The nanny your daddy hired right after your mama died.”
“I had a nanny?”
“For a few months and then she left. She was here one day and gone the next.” Clara Anne folded her arms beneath her breasts. “She came back about a year later with a baby. We never believed that baby was your daddy’s.”
“What?” Sadie stood before she realized she’d jumped to her feet. “What baby?”
“A girl. At least the blanket was pink. If I remember right.”
“I have a sister?” This was crazy. “And I’m just now hearing about it?”
“If you had a sister your daddy would have told you.”
She scrubbed her face with her hands. Maybe. Maybe not.
“And don’t you think everyone in town would have talked about it?” Clara Anne shook her head and dropped her arms. “They’d still be dinin’ out on it at the Wild Coyote Diner.”
Now that was true enough. If Clive Hollowell had an illegitimate child, it would be the topic of the century at every dinner table in town. She would have certainly heard something by now.
“Then again, me and Carolynn were the only two here when Marisol showed up that day. And we never spoke about it.”
T
he Road Kill bar hadn’t changed much in ten years. Country music poured from the same Wurlitzer jukebox. Old road signs and stuffed critters still decorated the walls, and fashion-minded patrons could purchase rattler skin belts and tanned armadillo handbags from a display case behind the mahogany bar. The owner of the Road Kill was a taxidermist on the side. And it was said that Velma Patterson, bless her heart, had hired him to stuff her poor yappy dog, Hector, the unfortunate victim of some maniac hit and run driver.
Sadie sat at a table near the back corner beneath a stuffed coyote, its head lifted and howling at the ceiling. Across from her, dim bar lights reflected off Deeann’s red pouf as the two of them threw back a couple of margaritas. Deeann had called earlier and talked Sadie into meeting her at the bar. Not that she’d had to twist Sadie’s arm. Sadie hadn’t had anything else going on and a lot on her mind. She’d met with Mr. Koonz that morning and discovered that her daddy had been supporting “the unnamed beneficiary” for the past twenty-eight years. There was no acknowledgment of any paternity. Or even any name on the Wells Fargo bank account in Las Cruces. At least that’s what her father’s lawyer told her, but Sadie didn’t believe him.
“I always try and get out on the weekends that the ex has the boys,” Deeann said as she sipped her blended drink.
Sadie preferred hers served over rocks. Less chance of brain freeze. For her outing at the Road Kill, she’d worn a simple white sundress, a blue cardigan, and her boots. The more she wore the boots, the more she remembered why she’d liked them so much. They were so worn in; they fit her feet like the caress of a glove.
“The house is too quiet without the boys.”
Sadie knew a thing or two about quiet houses. Once the Parton twins left for the night, the house was too quiet. So quiet she could hear her daddy’s horses in the corral. So quiet she listened for a phone that never rang, a beep from a text message that was never sent, and the sound of a truck that never rolled up to her front door.
“We haven’t really had a chance to chat since before your daddy died.” Deeann took a sip. “How are you doin’?”
“Busy.” Which was how she liked it. Busy so she didn’t have time to sit around and think about losing her daddy. And Vince. Although she supposed Vince had never really been hers to lose.
“I drove past the Gas and Go the other day, and noticed the new signs. When is Vince opening again?”
Sadie had seen the new signage and Vince’s truck parked on the side of the building on her way through town that morning when she drove to the lawyer’s in Amarillo. Her heart had sped up and stopped all at the same time. A painful pound and dull thud. A pain that stung the backs of her eyes, and she’d tried really really hard to hate him. “I don’t know when he’ll open the Gas and Go.”
“Aren’t you two dating?”
Dating? “No. We’re not together. He’s free to see whomever he wants.” She took a drink and swallowed past the hurt in her chest. “You can date him.” Although she should probably warn Deeann that Vince would get bored and move on. Possibly on the worst day of her life. The day she buried her daddy and had to put up with his aunt’s Frito pie. Asshole.
Deeann shook her head, and her brows lowered over her brown eyes. “I’d never date a friend’s ex. Vince is a good-lookin’ guy and all, but that’s just wrong. It’s against the rules. The girl code.”
Sadie knew there was a reason she liked Deeann.
“Although . . .” Deeann stirred her drink. “I did date Jane Young’s former boyfriend.” She lifted one hand to the side of her mouth. “But she casts a wide net, if you know what I mean.”
Sadie leaned forward. It had been so long since she’d sat around with girlfriends, she’d forgotten how much she missed it. And, yes . . . gossip. As long as it was about someone she didn’t like. “Jane gets around?” Which she normally wouldn’t hold against a girl. But Jane had a bad soul.
“Well, as my grandmama used to say, ‘She lets her hair down and everything else.’ ” She dropped her hand to the table. “And she took up with my ex Ricky for a time.”
Sadie gasped. Deeann had been friends with the Young girls since charm school. “That’s against the rules.”
“She thinks I don’t know.” Deeann shrugged and toyed with her silver necklace. “If she didn’t buy jewelry from me, I’d freeze her out.”
Ah, Deeann didn’t let the friend code get in the way of her mercenary heart. Good for her.
“Her old boyfriend was way better in the sack than Ricky. It’s a miracle I got two boys out of that man.”
Sadie laughed and the two ordered another round. She sipped it as the Road Kill filled with people she’d known most of her life. She played pool in the back room against Cain Stokes and Cordell Parton and managed to lose to both. She had a good time, but by eleven she was ready to leave. The veterinarian was coming out to the JH in the morning to check out Maribell and give her a Pneumabort shot. Tyrus was capable of taking care of the mare, but Maribell was getting older and this would be her last foal. The last of her daddy’s foals, and Sadie just wanted a second opinion that everything was progressing as it should.
She put her cue away and headed out of the back room to find Deeann.
“I was just coming to find you,” Deeann said from the middle of the bar. “Vince is here.”
Sadie lifted her gaze above the pouf in Deeann’s hair to the defined pecs in a T-shirt several feet behind her. He wore his customary brown T-shirt and cargo pants, and the sight of him made her heart squeeze. She lifted her gaze up his wide neck and chin to his green eyes looking back at her.
“Do you want to go?” Deeann asked.
“No.” She shook her head even though she’d been planning on leaving. In a town the size of Lovett, she was bound to run into him. Best to get it over with. He moved toward her and she forced herself to stand perfectly still. Not run away or swing at him or wrap her arms around his big chest.
He tilted his head to one side and looked into her face. “How are you, Sadie?” he said above the noisy bar.
The sound of his voice brushed against her and tugged at her insides. “Getting by.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Are you staying in Lovett?”
“For now.” Small talk. With Vince? She couldn’t do it. Not without falling apart.
“This is my buddy Blake,” he said, and motioned to the man standing beside him. “He’s helping me with the counters at the Gas and Go.”
Sadie turned to the man she hadn’t noticed before and wondered how she could have missed him. He was big and blond and obviously military. She stuck out her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Blake.”
Blake grinned and took her hand. “Pleasure’s mine, sweetheart.”
Vince stuck his arm out and placed a palm on his friend’s chest. They exchanged looks, and Blake turned his attention to Deeann. “I love redheads. What’s your name, beautiful?”
Sadie fought not to roll her eyes but Deeann ate it up like a peanut patty. The two had hardly exchanged names before they were off to the back room to play pool.
“You need a drink?”
Standing so close, her heart pounded in her chest and throat. “I was just on my way out.”
His gaze lowered to her lips. In that way he had of watching her talk. “I’ll walk you.”
“No need.”
He placed his hand on the small of her back and she let him. Like it was no big deal. Like he hadn’t shattered her heart. Like his touch didn’t make her want to curl into his chest. Like she didn’t hurt so badly she wondered why she didn’t die from it.
“How are things at the JH?”
Like the touch of his hand and the smell of his skin didn’t muddle her head and confuse her senses. “I might have a sister,” she blurted as they stepped out into the cool May night. She hadn’t meant to confess that to anyone. Especially not Vince. They weren’t friends anymore. He didn’t need to know her business, but she knew him well enough to know that he wouldn’t mention it to anyone. She didn’t have to ask him not to.
“What?”
“Nothing. Forget it. Never mind.” Once outside, she stepped away and his hand fell to his side. “It might not even be true, and I wouldn’t even know how to find her if it is true.”
T
hey moved beneath the stars cramming the dark Texas sky, but Vince found no calm on this night. Peace did not soothe him. He hadn’t known Sadie would be at the Road Kill. Hadn’t known how he would feel the first time he saw her again. Hadn’t known it would feel like the world was falling apart beneath his feet even as it stood absolutely still. Hadn’t known his lungs would burn with each breath he tried to catch.
“There’s my car.” She pointed to the left, and the crunch of gravel beneath the heels of her boots filled the space between them. The last time she’d worn those boots, he’d been deep inside her, up against his refrigerator. Lost in her and not thinking about the end. Not thinking about anything but how good being with her felt. “You can go back in now,” she added.
He couldn’t go back. Not now. They stopped by her driver’s side door and he reached for her. She stepped back, and once again his hand fell to his side. “I never wanted to hurt you, Sadie,” he said.
She looked down at the toes of her boots. “I knew you’d get bored and move on.”
“I wasn’t bored.” He didn’t make the mistake of reaching for her again and curled his hands into fists. “Never bored.”
She shook her head, and the moon shone in her pale hair and the side of her face. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does.”
“Then why did you treat me like I didn’t matter?” She looked up and placed a hand on her chest. “Like I was nothing.”
Because she’d seen him at his worst. Because he hated that he had nightmares like a little girl and now she knew about them. Because he’d felt lower than nothing. “
You
were never nothing.”
“I always knew you’d move on. I always knew it would end, but did you really have to break my heart on the same day I buried my daddy?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Couldn’t you have waited? At least one day?”
He hadn’t meant to end things at all. He’d give anything to take back that night. To have stayed awake all night and not allowed himself to fall asleep. To have stayed awake and watched her while she slept. “I’m sorry, Sadie.”
Moonlight bounced off her forehead as she lowered her brows. “Sorry. People who step on my foot say they’re sorry. You stomped on my heart and that’s all you can say? You’re sorry?”
“Yeah.” Mostly he was sorry that he was standing next to her and couldn’t touch her. He couldn’t talk to her about all the stuff he’d done at the Gas and Go and listen to her talk about everything happening in her life.
She moved before he saw her coming at him. She placed her hands on his chest and pushed hard. “Sorry?” She was so angry she actually shoved him back on his heels. “You probably think that makes everything okay.”
“No.” He placed his hand over hers. “Nothing is okay anymore.” He slid his palm to the side of her head and lowered his face to hers. “I want you,” he whispered. “I’ve never wanted anything like I want you.”
“Vince.” His name on her lips brushed his and blew him apart. He came undone. He kissed her. Devouring her with a hot hunger he didn’t even know rested in his soul. It burned him up in a raging inferno of primal need and longing. Bursting and unrestrained. Wild and out of control. His hands moved over her. Touching, pulling her against him as his mouth ate her up. He wanted to pull her in, eat her up, and never let her go again.
“Vince!” She pushed him and took several steps back. “Stop it.” She raised the back of her hand to her mouth. “I won’t let you hurt me anymore.”
His lungs ached as he pulled air deep, trying to catch his breath. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“But you will.” She opened the door to her Saab, but she wasn’t going anywhere. She was his. He could change her mind.
He grabbed the top of the doorframe. “You said you love me.” He wanted her to love him. Wanted it more than he could recall ever wanting anything in his life.
“I’ll get over it.” Beneath the light of the moon, a tear ran down her pale cheek. It punched him in the gut and he dropped his hand to his side. “Stay away from me so I don’t love you anymore. Stay away so I don’t feel anything for you anymore.”
Sadie didn’t cry. Not on the day her daddy had died or the day she’d buried him. Vince watched her drive away, feeling numb and gutted at the same time. Helpless. Like when he’d tried to save Pete.
The primal inferno raging through him turned outward. Real rage. The kind of rage he’d felt during the days after Pete had died. During the days he’d fought to get his hearing back and later after leaving the teams he’d loved. And the rage he’d felt the night he’d taken on a bar of bikers.