Rescue Me (Sawtooth Shifters, #2) (4 page)

“For you,” he reminded me. We’d already fallen into an easy pattern, like we knew what the other one wanted. Shadow climbed into the driver's side of my truck. “I had nothing to do but watch you the whole time I was at the shelter.” He chuckled. “That didn’t sound creepy at all.”

“No, it actually didn’t,” I admitted. It was nice to be able to watch the town come into view without worrying about, well, anything tonight. Except for this date. “It’s actually pretty sweet.”

“I think I’d prefer creepy.” Shadow laughed harder, shaking his head. “You’re going to ruin my street cred, Trina, I’m trying to...never mind.”

“You’re trying to what?” Now I was alarmed. He could be trying to be anything, with me held hostage as a passenger in my own vehicle. The Sun Valley Saloon was at the end of this street and I prayed that he’d actually turn into the parking lot. “Now you’re creepy.”

Shadow looked at me quickly, the smile gone, before turning into the parking lot. I finally exhaled. He could be as creepy as he wanted with witnesses. “I want to be alpha. I’ll have to fight for the title, and it goes against everything I stand for. But I can’t let Major take the reins and destroy order in the forest, and our chance at a future. He leads by intimidation; his brothers barely speak in his presence. And Shea, that’s the one who ran off, he’s nothing but chaos.” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “I think it’s worth fighting for.”

“I do too.” I put my hand over his and the smile was back. “What about running for mayor?”

“I’ve been thinking about it.” He headed toward the restaurant. “I’d still need the support of the pack to win.”

“I think you can do it.” If Shadow could get me to come out of my shell, even by the baby steps I’d taken, he could get people do to whatever he wanted. He might not look like a typical politician, with his long streaked hair and his leather jacket, but Granger Falls was full of hard working people that didn’t easily trust a fast talker in a suit and tie. “Let me know what I can do to help. I won’t be running for Miss Congeniality or anything, but there must be something I can do that wouldn’t hurt your chances.”

Shadow kissed my forehead as we waited for the hostess. Everyone in the restaurant gasped when we walked in—the guy who they’d all thought was dead and the weird animal lady who put a wrench in everyone’s lives by exposing the dog fights. They turned back to each other, the buzz noticeable as we walked by. But no one approached us.

If Shadow noticed, he didn’t acknowledge it. “I’m so excited to be here.” I said, looking at him over my menu. I wanted this night to be about us, our future. Not the past. “Cooking for one person sucks. I’m usually too tired to bother with anything more than a sandwich when I get home.”

Shadow raised an eyebrow when I ordered a strawberry margarita, or maybe I just imagined it. Drinking had been one of the ways I dealt with Ryan’s death. It was a way to quiet down my brain before I met Shadow. I added a T-bone steak and mashed potatoes. Shadow ordered the same thing and the way he looked at me after he handed his menu to the waitress—I had no idea how we’d make it past the appetizer.

“I have some questions for you, since we’re doing this the right way.” Shadow smirked. “Normal stuff,” he added when my eyes widened, still self-conscious about ordering the drink.

“Okay.” I was doing something I hadn’t done in a long time. Living in the moment. There was no doubt he’d ask me things that would make me squirm. But if we were going to be anything more than whatever it was we were right now—a bundle of nerves and some insane sexual tension—I had to stop running from this. “Go for it.”

“Are you from Idaho?” He started easy.

“No. I grew up in Oregon. South of Portland. I haven’t been home in a long time, but if I concentrate really hard, I can still smell the mint fields.”

“That explains the Ducks obsession.” Shadow smiled. I’d figured out a way to stream the football games on my computer, and I blasted them at the shelter every Saturday afternoon. “I’m more of a Broncos fan,” he added.

“Boise or Denver?”

“Boise, of course.” Shadow rolled his eyes and laughed like it should’ve been obvious. “And it’s my alma mater.”

I nodded. “University of Oregon is mine. What did you study?”

“Anthropology. You?”

“Marketing.” The plan had been to go work for an advertising agency or something else that normal adults did.

Shadow’s eyes widened. “Really?” I expected him to react like that and braced myself for the inevitable next question. “How’d you wind up with a shelter?”

“The degree comes in handy, believe or not. I did work in advertising for a while when I lived in Portland. The shelter is part of my recovery plan.” I took a deep breath and nodded as Shadow’s eyes widened. Time was up, I had to tell him what happened. “CAST, which is the Center for Anxiety and Stress Therapy, placed me in a shelter. I have PTSD. I know people usually associate that with soldiers coming back from active combat, but anyone who’s had a traumatic experience can suffer. I was in a car accident.” I lowered my eyes. I had to tell him. “My fiancé was killed.”

The waitress picked the most awkward time to come with our drinks. Shadow put his hand over mine, his thumb rubbing the back of my hand until she left. Maybe the timing wasn’t so horrible. The long, sweet sip of margarita soothed my brain and thwarted the imminent shutdown.

“I’m so sorry,” Shadow said softly. 

“I was driving.” Instead of my lungs feeling like someone poured cement into them, I felt free. Light. Maybe it was finally time to talk about this. Or maybe it was Shadow. “I hit black ice. I didn’t realize there was anything wrong until it was too late.”

The sound the car made hitting the tree was always fresh in my mind. The dull thump of both of us hitting the windshield. The sickening crack when the airbag hit Ryan at just the right angle to snap his neck. Shadow let me continue the story. “Ryan had proposed to me that night. It was the best and the worst night of my life.”

That’s as far as I got before the sting of tears hit, the air left my lungs, and I had to hide. I covered my face in my hands and tried to make the image go away.

Shadow put his hand on my knee. I floated up from Hell back into the restaurant. “If you want to tell me about him, I’ll listen. But if you’re not ready—“

“No.” I slid my hands down my face. “That’s the most I’ve ever been able to say. I can’t talk about it. To anyone. The doctors placed me in animal assisted therapy to get me to function as a basic human being. I’d gone totally catatonic. I couldn’t take care of myself, I couldn’t process anything. The animals did the trick, to an extent. I still have a hard time with people, but animals I’m comfortable with.”

“Maybe that’s why you can talk to me.” Shadow smiled. “Because I’m a little bit of both.”

He had a good point. “What’s it like? Being both a man and a wolf?” The waitress was back, this time with salad and bread, and she side-eyed me, overhearing my question. Whatever. That’s what she got for eavesdropping. I cut the brown bread and buttered it before handing a piece to Shadow.

“It’s the best of both worlds, but extremely frustrating at the same time.” He bit into the bread and moaned. “We’re highly sensitive and tuned into things that humans aren’t. We’re stronger, quicker, and our senses are better. We see things differently, have a different value and justice system. We can’t always act on it in our human form, which can be maddening. Both humans and wolves hate change. With the growth in the town, we’re forced to be human much more than we ever were in the past, or else what’s left of our packs would dwindle even more than it has. But we can’t fully act human or act wolf. We’re still playing by old rules.”

This was fascinating. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’d be eating Caesar salad with someone who wasn’t human. “Like what?”

“This generation didn’t produce an even number of males and females for a mate. All of the female wolves were sold to wealthy families. If you couldn’t afford to buy your son a wife, chances are this would be the last generation of wolves in your line.” Shadow stabbed at his salad. “But the ruling class of the packs aren’t the wealthy wolves. It’s too bloody a job, and it’s always gone to the working class wolves.”

“So you’re headed to extinction and anarchy.” It made sense why he studied anthropology. And why he’d consider running for mayor. It was a necessity if he wanted to survive. He nodded, the darkness gone from his face. “What do you think needs to be done about it?”

“We need to find human mates.” He didn’t break his gaze. And now it made sense why he was so interested in me. I won’t lie, it was a letdown. He needed a human woman, I wasn’t sure he
wanted
me. “The genetics won’t be the same, but we can adapt. We’ll have different strengths. At first, it’s going to be hard for everyone, but I think it would make the transitions and relations between us stronger.”

“Shapeshifter engineering, basically?” I attempted to smile, but a chill had broken out over my body that had nothing to do with my frozen margarita.

“No.” Shadow frowned. “Nothing that extreme. Although I’m sure organized science would have a field day with my vision. I’m talking about the same sort of growing pains that anyone has in a new relationship. Some things work, some don’t. Give and take. Compromise. Conquering challenges. Learning about each other.”

“Is this why you want to be...alpha?” The word felt funny coming off my tongue. We’d always talked about top dog at the shelter, and noticed the way that the animals fell into line behind their leader, but I’d never had a chance to understand why they did it.

“Yes. I want to lead by addition. Major uses fear and intimidation, which would result in subtraction.” Shadow leaned back as the waitress brought our dinner. “In a perfect world, we’d be able to work together. Neither of us is willing to compromise. I don’t know if I can trust him.”

“Can your packs be separate?” I asked, then took a bite of my steak. I hadn’t treated myself to a meal like this since Ryan died. I could’ve gone out with the girls, but instead I insisted on punishing myself. So much of tonight reminded me of him, but in a good way. I had no idea the memories could do anything but hurt.

“We’ve been separate all along. And we’re getting smaller instead of larger. We’re fighting instead of getting better.” Shadow was already almost finished with his meal. He’d devoured it. Six months of being hungry and he didn’t let food hang around.

“What can I do to help you?” I asked. He needed humans, and he had me in his spell. “I’d always thought the weird vibe in the Falls was something I gave off; it never occurred to me that it could be the town. Now it makes a lot of sense.”

“You being here tonight helps me,” he said. My heart pounded when I met his eyes. “Maybe it wasn’t Major I needed all along. It was you.”

The rest of the dinner passed in a haze. We kept talking, but all I could concentrate on was those three words.
It was you.
“Do you want to take a walk?” Shadow asked. “I haven’t been downtown since I was captured.”

“I’d love that.” The night was warm and Granger Falls was gearing up for the ski season. Instead of hibernating for the winter, the town came alive. Shop owners were loading into store fronts, twinkle lights illuminated the walkways, and slivers of the pond were visible beyond the buildings. Bald Mountain stood proudly in the background, overseeing everything.

“Do you ski?” Shadow asked. We’d been walking hand in hand but he’d stopped to look at the reflection of Baldy, as we called the mountain, in the pond.

“No. It never appealed to me.” I braced myself for the inevitable
how can you live in Granger Falls and not ski?
Easy. I had no desire to fling myself down a mountain on greased sticks. Or volunteer to freeze my ass off.

“Me neither.”

“Really?” I almost gave him the same crap I hated. “What do you do to stay in shape?

“I have—well, had been a contractor building houses.” Even emaciated, I could tell those muscles didn’t come from the gym. And Shadow was good with his hands. “And yoga.”

That was the last thing I expected him to say. “No way.”

“Way. It gets me out of my own head. You should try it,” he said. I gasped, he’d landed in my head. I hadn’t been expecting company there and it was always a mess. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It would probably help.”

“Give it a try. It’s not for everyone, but I always feel better after I’ve done it.” Shadow’s expression softened, and he leaned in close. “I’m always willing to try new things. Even if they don’t work out, I’m not left wondering what if.”

His lips brushed against mine, our hair tangled together in the breeze. I sighed, letting him catch me before I fell into whatever black hole had strangled me for the last five years, the one where trying things resembled scary, twisted nightmares. The one that put up iron gates to keep Shadow out, even though the rest of me had been begging for him. The one that was scared by what he’d said at dinner.

Did he want me or need me?

With his tongue gently stroking mine, I didn’t care.

Shadow’s big hands were on my back and in the middle of Granger Falls, a place I usually felt raw and exposed, I knew I was safe. Finally, it felt like home.

Chapter Six

Shadow

I wasn’t sure if it was the wolf or man in me that wanted to crawl inside of Trina. She brought every one of my carnal desires to boiling beneath the surface of my skin. After six months in captivity, I’d forgotten it was possible to feel so alive.

When she’d asked me what it was like to walk the line between two worlds, I should’ve given her a different answer. It was like walking on a high wire with no safety net. With Trina, I had balance, and could walk in both worlds.

I wanted her more than anything. More than I wanted my freedom, more than I wanted to best Major. Trina was capable of understanding every part of me, and for that I’d do whatever it took to make her my Queen.

Ever since the working class wolves of Sawtooth realized that we’d have to look beyond having a wolf mate to survive, we’d been fighting about what to do about it. But no one had the balls to actually mate with a human. We’d all had plenty of one night stands, but no self-respecting wolf ever bagged a Granger chick without bagging
it
first. To be the alpha, I needed to man up, wolf up, and lead by example. The human bond would make us stronger. We needed to adapt; our world was disappearing before our eyes. We might be stronger and faster as wolves, but as humans we were smarter and more cunning. We had to marry all of our strengths or it would be our biggest weakness.