Resistance (Ilyon Chronicles Book 1) (47 page)

The two of them sat quietly for a moment before Rayad took a rejuvenating breath. His eyes cleared as he turned to study Kyrin.

“Altair,” he said, more to himself than to her.

Kyrin tensed as her mind jumped immediately to the deeds of her grandfather. But she laughed inside.
How much more shame had she brought to their name?

“You’re not old enough to have known your grandfather, are you?” Rayad asked.

Kyrin shook her head. “No, he was killed quite a few years before I was born.”

She stared at her lap and smoothed her dress over her knees. After all these years, she should be used to this, but the shame still crept in.

“Mm, yes, that was nearly thirty years ago now,” Rayad said as if well-acquainted with the incident. “What have you heard about him?”

Kyrin raised her eyes but found no condemnation or disdain in Rayad’s expression. If anything, it offered understanding.

“He abandoned his men in battle and then turned on them.” She winced at the unflattering image. Though now bearing the label of traitor as well, at least she had not hurt anyone in the process, despite the emperor’s claims. “Most of the soldiers were killed before someone took my grandfather down.”

“I see,” Rayad murmured. “Who were the enemies they were fighting?”

Kyrin stared at him, and her forehead wrinkled. How odd she had no answer for that. “I…guess no one ever told me.”

Rayad gave a slow nod. “No, they wouldn’t have. Few truly know the answer. They were villagers from a small settlement called
Ilmar—both men and a few women, untrained to fight, but determined to defend their families.”

“Villagers? But
…why?”

“They were followers of Elôm, ordered to build a temple for Aertus and Vilai. When they refused, Daican sent men to either force them to comply or exterminate them. Your grandfather was the captain. But, when he arrived and witnessed the villagers’ determination, something changed in him and several of his men as well. He ordered his company back to the barracks, but the men still loyal to Daican chose to fight.

“Your grandfather and a handful of his men stood with the villagers. Some escaped, but most were killed. Your grandfather was captured near the end. He was executed and branded a traitor throughout Arcacia.”

Two warm tears slipped down Kyrin’s cheeks. Her grandfather was really a
hero?

“How do you know this?” she asked, her voice trembling.

“I was there,” Rayad responded with a sad sigh. “Warin and I both. We’d come to sell horses, but ended up caught in the struggle. We helped some of the villagers get away, but stayed close enough to see how it ended.”

Kyrin wiped her cheeks, but more tears flowed. For all her life, her grandfather had lived as a villain in her mind. How horribly wrong they’d all been.

“You saw my grandfather die?”

Rayad nodded solemnly. “I did, and let me tell you, it’s one of my greatest regrets that I couldn’t have stopped it.”

Kyrin clenched her fists. How could the emperor do this to her family? To her father, who’d borne the brunt of the shame all these years? She tried to swallow the aching lump in her throat and the acidic burn of anger that came with the realization that he was doing the exact same thing to her. Would people speak her name in disgust thirty years from now, just like they did with her grandfather? Kaden and her father would know the truth, but would the rest of her family duck their heads in shame whenever anyone spoke of her?

The anger churned inside her, but her ire slowly gave way to a burdening need for encouragement. Wiping her eyes again, she looked at Rayad. “Do you think he believed in Elôm?”

“I can’t say for sure, but in my heart I believe he did. He faced death like a man who is confident of where he’s going.”

Kyrin’s lips lifted in a wobbly smile. “Thank you. I can’t tell you what it means to me to hear that.”

“I’m glad I could tell you. The way your grandfather has been reviled has bothered me for years. It gives me some peace to know at least one member of his family knows the truth and can see him for what he really was.” He rested his hand on Kyrin’s shoulder. “And it looks to me like his courage was passed on.”

Jace trudged into camp just as the sun set with a red glow through the trees. Voices and laughter drifted from where everyone gathered around the fire for supper, as usual, but it wouldn’t last long. He steeled himself as he approached. Would he ever get used to the hush he caused? He set his eyes on the large pot of what smelled like stew.

He had no game to tend to today. His mind just wasn’t on hunting. He’d dreamt about Kalli and Aldor the night before. Though not his usual nightmares, they were just as painful, reopening the ragged holes in his heart he didn’t believe anything could ever fill again. He never slept after that. With the nightmares still plaguing him, he only found a couple of hours of rest each night, if that, and it had begun to tell on his body. His reflexes and senses weren’t as sharp as they should be. He never missed such an easy target as the deer he’d failed to bring down this afternoon. But the worst part was that he didn’t even care.

Near the fire, he glanced at the group and his eyes paused on Rayad. He sat next to the new girl in camp. They spoke, and Rayad smiled. Jace hadn’t seen him do that in a while. Something clenched like a cold vice around his heart. He could be sitting there, or at least sitting with Rayad somewhere. Rayad would be quick to join him if he just asked. But they’d grown so far apart now. It was
his own fault. All of it.

He looked away from Rayad, cursing the way his eyes stung. But, as he dropped a ladleful of stew into a bowl, his eyes
were drawn to the new girl again. She was watching him. His empty stomach twisted with a desire to hide from eyes that seemed to cut right into him, past his shield of protection, seeing everything—every weakness, every vulnerability. Yet, while he felt himself laid bare before her, she gave away nothing about herself.

He spun around and retreated to the solitude of the trees at the edge of camp.

When he sat, he cast a glance back to the fire as he considered the way she had watched him the last couple of nights. He’d heard something about her having the ability to read people. Just what did she see in him? Did she see the monster he was?

Days had passed since he let his thoughts turn to Elôm. He leaned his head back against the tree, his heart aching to cry, to release the pain.
Why?
Why did this happen to him? He waited for Elôm to speak, but the answer that filtered into his mind was nothing like what Rayad would have told him and not at all comforting.

Because you’re an animal. Everything you touch
is killed or destroyed
.

Jace closed his eyes. He’d reached this devastating conclusion recently and believed it more and more every day. Nearly everything he’d ever cared about was gone, and it terrified him that this curse would manifest itself again by destroying Rayad, the only person he had left. For this reason alone, he still thought daily of leaving—of getting as far away as he could from anyone or anything he cared about so they could never be harmed because of him.

He wrestled with this until Tyra’s whining penetrated the shadows of his thoughts. His eyes popped open. She stared at him with her head slightly cocked. He glanced at the bowl of stew that had gone cold and set it on the ground.

“You eat it. I’m not hungry.”

Tyra looked down at the bowl, but then just stared at him again.

K
yrin hadn’t known such a peaceful existence in years. Forest life was every bit as wonderful as she’d imagined, and she loved Lenae and being amongst people who believed as she did. But then there came times she missed Kaden so much her heart broke. She prayed daily he would show up in camp with Tane, or she would at least receive word of his safety, but she lived in fear of learning something had happened to him.

Though falling into a routine, she still felt a little out of place and uncertain without her brother. She’d relied on his strength and presence so heavily over the years. Too heavily, perhaps. Needing time alone to gather her own strength, she wandered into the woods not too far from camp, where she sat on a fallen log surrounded by trilliums and violets. The delicate blooms swayed and quivered around her feet as silent witnesses to the gathering of tears in her eyes.

“I miss Kaden,” she whispered into the quiet of the forest. “I worry about him, though I know You have his life guarded, just as You do mine. Help me trust that, and please bring him here safely. I want to enjoy it with him. He would love it so much.” She bit her lip and closed her eyes. “I just want him to be safe.”

Tears leaked past her lids and dribbled down her cheeks as her thoughts went to her last night in Valcré. The ache of riding away from the city without him still cut deeply. She hadn’t even been able to say goodbye.

Something rustled in the grass, and Kyrin’s eyes popped open. “Oh!”

Jace’s black wolf stood staring up at her.

“Hello, girl,” she said softly.

The wolf’s tail
wagged, and the animal took a step closer. Kyrin extended her hand, admiring the animal’s beautiful eyes and shiny black coat. Tyra sniffed her and let her rub the soft fur under her chin.

As with Tyra, Kyrin didn’t hear him come, but when she looked up, Jace stood a couple of feet away. He looked at her oddly as his eyes shifted between her and Tyra. Kyrin pulled her hand away from the wolf and smudged the tear tracks from her face. Clearing her clogged throat, she said, “She’s very beautiful.”

She offered a tentative smile, not sure how he would react to her touching his wolf. He just stared and barely murmured what sounded like “thanks” before walking off. Tyra trotted after him.

Kyrin twisted around to watch them. This was the closest she had seen Jace, and in full daylight. Despite all she had learned from Rayad, it had not prepared her for the sight of the dark shadows under his eyes and sunken cheeks. Though built like Kaden, he clearly wasn’t eating the way her brother did. No wonder Rayad worried.

Wiping away the last remnants of tears, Kyrin returned to her prayers, but with a newfound focus as a burden settled on her heart. Jace needed help, and like Rayad, she prayed for divine intervention.