Resonance (Marauders #4) (19 page)

I’d always been a sucker for a sad story, which was why I knew
Wuthering Heights
almost by heart. Felix wasn’t the only one in the family who liked to reread his favorites.

We’d watched the movie, too, but Felix didn’t like it. He was disappointed it only had one good witch, that the shoes weren’t silver, and he really, really didn’t like that Dorothy wasn’t a young girl not much older than him. So we’d decided to stick to the book.

“How was your day?” I asked Felix as I leaned over to give his forehead a kiss.

“Good. Daddy was here, but he had to go.”

“And why aren’t you in bed, mister?” I asked with a glance at Mom. She just shrugged.

“I wanted to wait for you, and Grandma said I could.”

I decided to just drop it, and not thirty minutes later, Felix was sleeping. He’d been tired as hell, but I understood why Mom didn’t force him to bed, because I kept having the same feeling. I believed—no, I
knew
—that he would be okay, but a nagging voice at the back of my head kept telling me to make sure to get as much time with him as possible, just in case. I hate that voice, I despised it, and I did my very best to ignore it, but sometimes I couldn’t. Sometimes I wanted to wrap Felix in my arms and never let go.

Which was why I’d spent way too many evenings in Felix’s room, just staring at him while he was sleeping, and I did it that night, too. I heard the door open behind me, but didn’t think much about it.

“Hey, babe,” Tommy whispered in my ear.

I turned around, and he gave me a big smile. I hadn’t known he was coming, and he reeked of beer, cigarette smoke, and pot, so I assumed he came directly from the clubhouse.

“Why are you here? Felix said you’d left, and why do you smell of beer?”

“I’m not an idiot,” he said and lay down on the other side of Felix. He took my hand and pressed it against his lips. “I haven’t been drinking, and I’m back because I wanted to see you. Both of you.”

I was embarrassed. I had no right to mistrust him, and the question was a low blow. He probably just had the same feeling as I did—to see Felix as much as possible.

“Sorry,” I said.

“Don’t be.” He gave my fingers another kiss. “Told you, I like you as Mama Bear. How is he doing?”

“About the same.”

“We’ll fix that soon,” he mumbled and kissed Felix’s forehead. “We’ll get him in shape soon.”

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

I’m Scared, Too

~oOo~

INSTEAD OF JUST ‘THE last time’ I did something, it was the very last night before the surgery. But it was ‘the last time’ Felix went to bed with kidneys full of cysts. The thought was as mind-blowing as it was scary.

I lay down on his bed next to him, and Tommy was kneeling on the floor on the other side of the bed, resting his elbows on it. Felix had wanted him there the full night, and Tommy had been quick to agree.

“Are you scared?” Felix asked him.

We’d been talking a lot about it the last week, about being scared and fears people had—about good and bad fears, and how to deal with them. It could’ve been a bad idea, but Mom had early on managed to balance it out by talking about hope, and what we hoped would come out of the fear.

“Yeah, Champ, I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“The catheter,” Tommy answered, and I started laughing. “And that your body might not want my kidney, but you know that’s not likely to happen.”

Kidney transplants were a success in most cases. Over eighty percent were still working well three years after the surgery, and Felix knew that, too. But we still worried. I mostly worried because I knew that if you looked further, only around fifty percent were working after ten years. He would need another transplant, probably more than that. He’d be on immunosuppressive therapy for the rest of his life to ensure that his immune system didn’t reject the new kidney. It would mean a higher risk for infections and cancer.

But it also meant he had a fighting chance to live to see his teens, and even survive them. I was trying to focus those things, the benefits. It would buy us a lot of very valuable time.

“Which one are you giving me?” Felix asked.

“This one.” Tommy pointed to his left side.

“Did you get to pick which one to give?”

“No. Apparently it’s easier to take that one.”

“Are you staying until tomorrow?”

“I told you I would,” Tommy said and took Felix’s hand. “We’re going there together tomorrow.”

Felix was silent for a while, and I almost thought he’d been able to fall asleep, but then he turned towards me.

“Will we still be living here when I’m not sick anymore?”

“I don’t know,” I answered. “Where would you like to live?”

“I was thinking… that maybe I could live with Daddy, too?”

“I’d like that, Champ. I’d like that a lot,” Tommy said with a big smile. “I’ll find a house so you can have your own room.”

Felix was quiet, but I could see that he was still thinking about something, and I was trying to be relieved that it probably wasn’t about the surgery. He was looking at me.

“Do you think I should get a room there, too?” I asked.

“Yes,” he immediately answered.

“You want your mom and dad to live together,” Tommy chuckled. “Is that it?”

“I wish you were both with me, together, all the time,” Felix whispered, and he looked at me. “Are you angry?”

“No, of course not. You want what you want, that’s nothing I would be angry about. Almost all kids want their parents to live together.” I desperately tried to figure out what to say. When I looked at Tommy, he gave me a meaningful, and slightly amused, smile. “Gotta jump, huh?”

“Something like that, Munchkin,” he mumbled, and then he looked at Felix. “Your mom and I are trying to figure some things out, but I promise to buy a house she likes, and I promise that no matter what, we both love you, and we’ll both be in your life. And I love your mom, too.”

“You love her?”

“What’s not to love?” Tommy smiled. “She’s awesome, and she gave me you.”

“She’s awesome,” Felix agreed. “So, you’re not angry at her anymore?”

“No, Champ. I’m not angry at her.”

“Not even a little?”

“Not even a little,” Tommy confirmed.

Felix looked between us, and then he beckoned Tommy closer with his index finger. When he was close enough, he put his arms around Tommy’s neck and pulled him even closer to whisper something in his ear. I couldn’t hear what, but Tommy chuckled and gave Felix’s forehead a peck.

“Yup.”

Felix glanced in my direction, and then he whispered something else. Once again Tommy answered, “Yup.”

“Now?” Felix asked.

“Okay.”

Tommy leaned closer to me, and with a firm grip around my neck, he gave me a kiss. Felix giggled and hid under his cover.

“He told me to kiss you,” Tommy explained when he’d let go of me. “He said that when you love someone, you kiss them, and he asked if I wanted to kiss you.”

He pulled down the cover Felix was still holding in front of him.

“Sure about this?” I asked him, and he nodded vigorously. “If it’s only that you want your dad around, you can live with him, too, even if I’m not there.”

Felix shook his head.

“When you and I are feeling better, we’ll talk about it again,” Tommy said.

“Do you love Daddy?” he asked me.

“Yes, I do, and like he said, no matter what happens, we both love you, and I’ll always love him for letting me keep you.” I gave him a hug. “It’s not as easy for grownups to say what they want, but I promise we’ll talk about it, Daddy and I.”

Felix smiled. “Okay.”

“You need to sleep, Champ, gotta be strong tomorrow,” Tommy said. “Want us in here, or do you want to be alone?”

“I want Grandma.”

“Grandma?” I asked. “Okay.”

“So you can talk about the house.”

I laughed. At least the idea of us all living in a house together had taken his thoughts off the surgery the next day.

“I’ll get you Grandma,” Tommy said. “And we’ll talk about the house.”

When Tommy had left, I stroked Felix’s cheek to make him look at me.

“If you want me or Daddy to come back, just ask Grandma to go get us.”

He nodded. “Tomorrow, you’ll be there when they make me sleep?”

“Yes. Absolutely.”

“And when I wake up?”

“Absolutely.”

When Mom came into the room, I gave Felix one more kiss before going out to find Tommy. It wasn’t very hard. He was waiting just outside the room and pulled me into his arms.

“Wanna practice making babies?”

“Making babies?”

“Yeah, well, the best donor is a sibling, so I figured we’d get four or five more kids, and then Felix has a whole line of people who can give him kidneys.”

“You want to have more kids so Felix can get kidneys?”

“No, I want to have more kids because I want to have more kids, and I’ll give them a good home so they love each other. The rest will take care of itself.”

“You think so?” I asked and gave him a kiss. “I’m not so convinced about that logic, but I’m up for some practicing.”

“If Zach had needed a kidney, how long would it have taken you to offer one of yours?”

I looked at Tommy. “About two seconds.”

“See,” he said and wiggled his eyebrows. “Perfect logic.”

“I think this is more because you know you can’t have sex for a while after the surgery.”

“Then there’s that.”

I took his hand and walked him towards my room. “So you lied to Felix,” I joked. “We’re not going to talk about the house?”

He opened the door, and once we were inside, he started kissing me as we walked towards the bed.

“Wanna move into my house?”

“You have a house?”

“Not yet, but when I get one, will you come live with me?”

“I’ll consider it.”

“There, we’ve talked about the house. Get naked.”

Getting naked sounded a lot better than discussing an imaginary house. I started pulling off my clothes and watched Tommy do the same. He was already growing hard, I could see the outline of his dick under his boxer briefs, and I stepped forward to gently circle it through the cloth.

“Babe, they’ve done every fucking test imaginable on me. I’m clean as a whistle and in perfect physical and psychological health. Any chance you’re on the pill or something?”

I nodded. “Wanna skip the condom?”

“Fuck, yeah,” he groaned and got down on his knees in front of me. He pulled down my panties and kissed my stomach and the stretch marks. I had no idea what it was with him and the stretch marks, but he seemed to like them. “I want that. And I wanna taste you.”

I lay down on the bed and spread my legs for him. He ran his hands along the inside of my thighs before dipping down and giving me a long lick.

“I wanna taste you, too,” I mumbled. “Get up on the bed and get your dick over here.”

He did as I’d asked, and we were both on our sides, in opposite directions and facing each other, so I moved down until I could reach his dick with my mouth. My hand couldn’t circle him completely, and despite making a few attempts, I wasn’t even close to being able to deep throat him, but I liked trying—and he
loved
me trying. While I was licking, sucking, and kissing whatever parts of him I could reach, he was working me soaking wet.

I slowly moved my hand up and down his rock hard cock and sucked one of his balls into my mouth.

“Fuck, Billie,” he groaned against my clit. “So good.”

With a small smile on my lips, I let go and went for the other one.

“No,” he said and pulled me up to face him.

“Had enough of a taste?” I asked him, and gave him a kiss. “I was just getting started.”

“Liar,” he smiled and flipped us around so I was on my back. “You’re as eager as I am.”

“Maybe,” I answered, but then I felt him stroking his tip along my slit and moaned at the feeling. There was no way around it: sex felt a lot better without a condom. It’s not as if I’d had any complaints about the sex we’d had so far, but this was closer. More personal.

Intimate.

“Fuck,” he mumbled. “That’s….”

“Great?” I suggested, and then he slid inside. “Awesome.”

“Fucking fantastic,” he groaned as he pushed deeper.

I was bound to agree with him; it was fucking fantastic. It was always fucking fantastic. I opened my eyes, and Tommy was above me, but his eyes were closed. His mouth in a slight smile, and… I couldn’t take my eyes off him. It was so strange and amazing at the same time to see someone I’d known my entire life in such a different light. He was… beautiful. I drew my fingertips along his jaw, feeling the stubble tickle me, and his response was to dip down and suck my right nipple into his mouth.

“God, Tommy.”

He hummed with my nipple still lodged between his teeth, and I wrapped my legs around him to get him even closer—deeper.

“Fuck!” I groaned, since he hit my cervix, and it hurt, but at the same time it felt good.

He halted and grabbed my hip to hold me down. “You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah. Don’t stop.”

“Good?”

“Very.”

“I wanna take you from behind. We’re gonna go through as many positions as possible. I want my fill.”

“Okay,” I chuckled. “Think you’ll last that long?” I asked as I turned around to stand on all fours.

“Don’t be cheeky,” he said and slapped my ass before grabbing hold of my hips.

He gave me five kisses on different places on my back, and I knew he was kissing the five moles I had there. He did a lot of those little things that made it feel like he’d memorized my entire body. It felt… strange, and it made me feel so loved for who I was.

“Tommy,” I whispered.

“Right there. Spread wider, babe, and arch your back for me. Show me that curve I love.”

I did as he’d asked, and then I looked at him over my shoulder. His hands stroked my waist, up my sides, before going back down.

“Please?”

He nodded, and I felt him stroking my stretch marks as he slid his hands around my hips. Then the tip of his dick slowly entered me again. I loved that feeling. He just kept going, patiently waiting for me to adjust, and he was so big it felt like there was no end to him. He couldn’t fuck me hard from the behind, at least not until about the time I was coming; it hurt when he tried. So he always started slowly, letting me feel every inch of him as he moved in and out of me. Slow, delicious strokes, reaching all the right spots inside of me, and making me ache for more.

“Oh, god,” I moaned when he grabbed my hair and pulled me up to my knees. With my back against him, he was teasing a whole new set of spots. It also allowed him to fuck me harder without hurting me. “God, I love you.”

“Love you, too, Munchkin—every single inch of you.”

“Make me come,” I whispered.

He didn’t answer, but his right hand let go of my hip and traveled the short distance to my mound and in between my legs. The tip of his middle finger found my clit, and while giving the side of my neck licks and nibbles, he started circling it. At the same time, his grip of my hair tightened, and he was speeding up.