Resurrection (The Lone Riders MC Series Book 3) (23 page)

Bowing his head for a couple of beats he took a deep breath, pulling forward the courage he needed to walk inside. But when he looked back up, she wasn’t alone. A tall, well-built man was leaning over the bike behind her, his hands on the seat, his chin resting on her shoulder as she pointed out something in the magazine to him. Ben watched, transfixed, as Mia said something to the man and he laughed, leaning in to kiss her neck and she reached behind, burying her fingers in his hair, turning her head slightly so their mouths touched. Ben had never felt a pain like it. Not even when he’d seen Coby Walker fucking her had he felt this pain. She really had moved on, without him. And he felt every last ounce of fight in his weakening body drain away.

Thirty

Mia ran her hand along the gleaming black and chrome of her brand new Harley Davidson, smiling to herself as they wandered on to the leather seat. This bike was her escape now. When she straddled it, kicked it into action and sped off into the Northumberland countryside she lost track of everything – time, problems, the mundane decisions day-to-day existence forced you to make. They all disappeared the second she heard that engine roar into life.

‘From what I’ve heard you’re pretty handy at fixing these things, too.’

She turned to look at Drake, taking the drink he held out for her. ‘I wouldn’t go that far.’ She shrugged, taking a swig of soda. Riding was thirsty work, which was why they’d stopped for a drink and a burger from a food truck well-visited by the local bikers in the area. ‘But I picked up a few things when I was over in
America
.’

Drake leaned back against the tree behind him, tearing a huge mouthful out of his burger with his teeth. Mia found it unusually sexy, watching him eat. She had no idea why, it was just one of those strange turn-ons, she guessed.

‘Come here,’ he said through a mouthful of ground beef, jerking his head back towards himself.

She smiled, taking the burger from him and helping herself to a bite, chewing a couple of times before she leaned in for a kiss, both of them bursting out laughing.

‘So ladylike.’ He grinned, his arm circling her waist, pulling her closer.

‘You wouldn’t want me if I was a lady, big guy. I wouldn’t be half as interesting.’

He raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly. ‘Want some more?’

She shook her head, turning around and leaning back against him, looking out at the rolling countryside in front of them, peaceful bar the odd bike passing through. It was a well known, favorite route for bikers, this stretch of road, and Mia had missed riding it when she’d been over in
America
. It was nice to be home, on familiar soil, riding familiar routes. It was good for her. It was grounding her; making her realize what was important.

Neither she nor Drake said anything for a good few minutes. And it was nice, just standing there, his big strong arms keeping her close, making her feel safe. He was her rock right now, her shoulder to lean on because she wanted that, for once in her life – a shoulder to lean on.

‘You OK?’ Drake asked, squeezing her waist.

She placed her hands over his, resting her head back against his shoulder, turning it slightly so his lips brushed over hers. ‘I’m fine. Just thinking about stuff.’

‘Want to talk about it?’

She turned to face him, stepping back from him, her hands in her pockets, her head down. ‘It’s hard, y’know?’ She raised her gaze, her eyes meeting his still-startlingly ice-blue ones. ‘Forgetting everything.’

‘Forgetting
him
?’

Mia raised her eyes to the sky, a quick, humorless chuckle escaping. ‘Yeah. Despite everything he did I can’t forget how he made me feel. But it was all lies. All of it.’

‘Maybe his feelings for you weren’t lies, Mia.’

She sat down on her bike, pushing both hands through her hair. ‘It all seemed so real. The way he looked at me, the way he touched me, the things he said…’ She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, not knowing where all this had come from, but it must have been in there. She must’ve been thinking this, if it was all coming out.

‘He wanted you to give it another go, huh? When he was over here?’

Mia nodded, her head turned away from Drake because she really hadn’t wanted to do this, and she inwardly cursed herself for being so weak; for letting Ben still get to her even when it was over. ‘But I can’t do it, Drake.’

‘Do you still love him?’

She felt tears prick the back of her eyes – hot, angry, frustrated tears and she blinked rapidly to try and stop them from falling. He wasn’t going to do this to her, not now. It was over, done, and she had to grow up and deal with it. ‘Yes,’ she whispered, not even aware she’d said that out loud, until she heard the words.

She finally turned to face Drake, his piercing eyes boring into hers. And only then did she know what it was she really wanted; really needed. Only then did she know.

***

Ben sat forward, turning the boarding card over and over in his hand. The airport was quiet, but it was still early. His flight was one of the first out, a domestic flight to
London
and then a connecting flight from Heathrow back to the States later that evening. There was no point staying here in
Newcastle
any longer. Mia had moved on, he’d seen it with his own eyes, and all he had now were the memories, good and bad; times he could replay over and over in his head, letting every heart-wrenching second remind him of what he’d thrown away.

The tannoy sprang into action, the disembodied voice telling everyone in the departure lounge that the flight to Heathrow was boarding now and could all passengers please head straight to the departure gate. Ben looked up, still continuing to flick his boarding card deftly between his fingers as he watched people flitting backwards and forwards, wheeling cases or dragging children behind them, some of them looking happy to be heading off on vacation, others in business suits with their briefcases and laptops obviously not in the holiday mood.

Another warning that flight BA7424 to London Heathrow was closing in a few minutes and could any remaining passengers head to the departure gate immediately or risk being offloaded.

Ben looked back down at his boarding card, his sigh weighted with resignation as he stood up, tucking the card into his back pocket and flinging his holdall over his shoulder. It was time to go. He didn’t really have much choice.

***

Mia sat on the bench overlooking the
North Sea
, grateful that the weather was being kind today. It wasn’t exactly tropical, but the sun was out and the sky was only being bothered by a handful of clouds.

She’d ridden her bike to the coast, feeling like some sea air. She’d always loved the coast. It was where she wanted to live, eventually, in a little house overlooking the sea. Something with a garden – that was important. A garden.

She had a lot of happy memories of days at the beach. Club outings, Sundays out with her parents when they’d still been alive – her wonderful adoptive parents. The pain of losing them still ran deep, and she closed her eyes for a brief second. So much had happened that she was still struggling to take in, which was why she’d come here. This bench was where she’d sat for hours after her father – the man who’d brought her up as his own – had died; just months after cancer had taken her mother it had claimed his life, too. She remembered sitting here, just staring out at the sea, on a day pretty much the same as this one, thinking about just what was going to happen next. Exactly what she was thinking now.

In a way, over the past few months, she felt as though she’d come full-circle. She remembered how she’d ridden here, to this exact same spot, that night; the night Charlie had told her she was leaving for
America
. The night she’d ran from Lennie. It had been dark and cold and the waves had been crashing angrily against the shore yet she’d felt nothing but calm. Because she’d known what she had to do. What she
needed
to do. And now, as she stared out at a much more peaceful sea she had that same feeling of calm. Because, just like before, she knew what she had to do.

Closing her eyes again, just for a second, she took a small but deep breath as she stood up, folding her arms against herself as she walked back to her bike. She kept her head down, her mind still whirring with a million thoughts, the sun warm on the back of her neck as she walked. It was strange, how everything seemed that little bit brighter when the sun was shining, and she couldn’t help smiling.

‘You look so much more beautiful when you smile.’

She stopped dead in her tracks, slowly looking up. He was leaning against her bike, his hands in his pockets, his green eyes bright and determined, and she couldn’t stop the somersaults her stomach had chosen to take. ‘I thought you’d gone home.’

‘I couldn’t do it.’ He didn’t move away from the bike. ‘I mean, I tried. I called the airport dozens of times, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to make that booking. Not straightaway. Until this morning, when I somehow found myself sitting there, in the departure lounge, holding a boarding card. And I still have no idea how that happened because the last thing I want to do is leave here, without you. But when I saw you, with someone else…’

She frowned, taking a couple more steps towards him. ‘Someone else?’

He kept his eyes locked with hers, refusing to break the stare. ‘I came to the shop, a couple of days ago. I wanted to fight for you, Mia, for
us
…’

‘There was no
us
anymore, Ben.’

He said nothing for a beat or two, his eyes continuing to bore into hers. ‘I wanted to fight for you. But when I saw you and him…’

‘He’s a friend.’

‘You kiss all your friends like that?’

‘You’ve lived this life, Ben, don’t pretend you don’t know how it works. He’s a friend, and I needed one of those. And yes, we slept together, but it was nothing, it
meant
nothing, I just needed someone – I needed someone to at least make me think, for a few blissful minutes, that everything was gonna work out. Somehow.’

He finally dropped his gaze, looking down at his scuffed black boots, his hands still dug deep in his pockets. ‘It looked like you’d meant what you said, that you really had moved on.’

‘I thought I had.’

He looked back up. ‘There was no point in me being here, if you’d moved on. And I tried to leave, Mia, really I did. I tried. I got right to that departure gate but I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t make that final step, couldn’t give up this fight without giving it one last go because you are all I care about. Nothing else matters.’

She broke the stare, her eyes darting this way and that, looking around her, not sure where to focus because her head was spinning now.

‘I don’t want to go back there, Mia. I can’t do it. If you’re not with me I don’t want to go anywhere…’

‘I haven’t moved on. Not really.’ Her voice was almost monotone, but there was a small fire inside of her that had just been lit, and a gentle warmth was slowly starting to spread right through her.

‘We can do this, baby. Me and you, we can do this.’

She looked at him again, knowing that everything he was saying – she was thinking it too. She couldn’t forget him, couldn’t just push him aside like she’d never met this man, but trusting him, that was something she still wasn’t sure she could do. But she also knew she couldn’t carry on without him. That’s why she’d been planning to head back to
America
, take that chance and try and find him, talk to him; try and put this right. She knew that finding a way to make this work, to make
them
work was the only way forward. Trust could be rebuilt. That was going to need work; it was going to take time. But the way she’d once loved him, she wasn’t sure she could find that with anyone else. She didn’t
want
to find it with anyone else.

‘Which man are you really, Ben? The man I fell in love with, or the man who scares me?’

‘I’m the man who never stopped loving you, Mia.’ He ran a hand through his dark hair, and it was only then that Mia noticed he’d let it grow back, just a little bit; only then that Mia noticed how much he looked like the man she’d first met, and she felt a lump spring to her throat. ‘I know I said I was always gonna be Benjamin Almeda… I know I said I couldn’t change that, but now I… I think you can change anything. If you really, really want to.’

She took another step forward. He felt his heart start to pick up a fast, heavy rhythm and he allowed himself to feel a flicker of hope.

‘And I really want to, Mia. I want to change, everything – except the way I feel about you. Because that will never change.’

She bit down on her lip, briefly raising her gaze to the sky, confusion merging with relief and excitement and a multitude of other emotions she was nowhere near ready to explain just yet. She just knew that this – this was happening, and it was what she wanted. Because she loved him. It was as simple as that. Maybe, for a few small moments in time, she’d stopped doing that; she’d closed down every emotion she’d had for him, because she’d had no choice, the way he’d acted. But now – now she knew she’d never really stopped loving him. Despite everything.

‘We can do this?’ she whispered, taking one last step forward. She was right in front of him now, so close she could hear him breathing.

He reached out a tentative hand, laying it gently on her hip, slowly pulling her against him. ‘We can do anything, Mia.’

She wasn’t sure she was totally buying into that just yet, but she was willing to give this a go; see where this journey took them next. She was willing to do anything, as long as they were together.

‘I’m staying here, baby. Charlie, he – I guess he still doesn’t totally trust me with his daughter, and I can’t blame him for wanting to keep an eye on me. On us…’