Return to Me (26 page)

He shook his head at her. “You don’t know me.”

His chest hurt as he watched tears roll down her heartbroken face. Dammit, he’d warned her.

She drew a trembling breath. “I could be pregnant. Have you thought about that?”

Thank God he had an answer for that one. “I can’t get you pregnant.”

“Why not?”

“I had a vasectomy years ago. I can’t get anyone pregnant.”

She jerked back as if he’d slapped her. “But … But … you used a condom the first time we …”

Noah shrugged as if it was nothing. As if his flesh didn’t feel as though it was being torn from his bones.

“Why, Noah? Why would you not want children?”

“Hell, Samara. You, more than anyone, know what’s in my blood. Why would you think I’d want to inflict the world with more garbage?”

A slender, shaking finger pointed at him. The trembling fury in her voice so evident, some of her words were almost unintelligible. “You are not garbage, Noah McCall. How dare you even say such a thing.”

Noah gripped the edge of his desk. “Go home, sweetheart. Find that Prince Charming you’ve always dreamed of, because he sure as hell isn’t me.”

“You have no idea what I dream, Noah.” She turned toward the open door and then whirled to offer one final parting shot. “When you’re ready to stop being a coward, you know where to find me.” She closed the door behind her, leaving Noah with an all-over body ache he knew he’d never recover from.

Before he knew it, his chair zoomed across his office as he shoved it away and stalked to the door. He couldn’t let her leave like that. Seeing her pain, her disappointment. He looked down at his white-knuckled grip on the doorknob. What the hell was he going to say to her? He could offer her nothing.

Feeling like his guts were wrapped around his chest and tightened with every breath, Noah returned to his desk and a world Samara didn’t belong in.

Shaking with fury and an ache so deep she felt as if she were bleeding inside, Samara made her wobbly legs move toward the elevator. Damned if she’d let Noah walk out of his office and see her pressed up against the wall, trying to hold herself together. She’d come here knowing almost exactly what he would say. The shot about Jordan had been low, but he was shooting everything in his arsenal at her.

She thought she was a bit tougher than this, though. He hadn’t really said anything terribly cruel and she’d almost crumpled in front of him. It was the vasectomy thing that got her. … No, it floored her. How could he think about not having babies? With all the goodness he had inside him, he’d make a wonderful father. A laughing sob caught in her throat. Okay, so he wasn’t a saint. Was quite often an asshole, a jerk, and one of the most stubborn people ever put on this earth. But he was a damn good man … one of the finest she’d ever known. And she loved him. It was as simple as that.

Pride got her to the first floor without crying a drop. The elevator door opened and she stepped out. Giving a tight, grateful smile and a wave to the beautiful but overtattooed receptionist, she managed a shaky “Thanks, Angela.” She wished she could have said more since the woman had been kind enough to let her go up to Noah’s office without announcing her presence.

Dashing out the door blindly, she ran smack into Jordan, who stood on the narrow sidewalk, apparently waiting for her. Seeing him was all it took. He barely got out the words, “You okay?” before she threw herself into his arms and burst into tears.

His embrace was comforting, but not the arms she longed for. Nevertheless, they allowed her to cry her heartbreak onto his chest. He made soothing sounds and kissed the top of her head, much as her father would have.

She pulled away and offered him a watery smile. “Sorry, held it in as long as I could.”

He nodded toward the door. “Want me to go kick his ass?”

Sniffling, she pulled away completely. “No, thanks. By the time I’m through with him, he’ll be kicking his own ass.” She reached up and kissed his cheek. “Tell Eden I’ll call her … but not for a while. I’ve got some things to do. Bye.”

She dashed away from an obviously confused Jordan. She couldn’t explain what she was going to do. He’d try to talk her out of it or he’d tell Noah, who’d come to Birmingham and yell at her. She wanted to see Noah again, more than anything … but not yet. She had given him his chance. Now, for a while, she was going to step back and redirect her energy. She’d learned too much over the past month to let it go to waste. She had some new skills. She wanted to learn more.

When the check from LCR came to her, she’d been furious. Eden had calmed her down and explained that like any other operative, she’d been paid handsomely. It wasn’t an insult from Noah, but payment for a job well done. Looking at it in that light, she’d been able to accept it and began to make plans on how to use it.

Her experience in Mississippi had taught her a valuable lesson, one that couldn’t go unchecked. The promise she’d made to herself still existed. Never again would she be vulnerable to the Mitchell Stoddards of the world. Then, she would see where that led her.

And if Noah McCall didn’t like it. … Well, that was really quite perfect.

  Noah stomped around his apartment, unable to find relief from the burning worry inside him. Eden’s amused, lackadaisical attitude only egged him on. “Eden, dammit. You’ve got to have some idea how she’s doing.”

Leaning back into her favorite easy chair, Eden didn’t even bother to hide her smug smile.

“The least you could do is act concerned,” Noah snapped.

Her husky laugh grated on his nerves. “I can’t help myself. This is just such a reversal, I feel as though I’m in an episode of
The Twilight Zone
.”

Noah ran his fingers through his hair. This was getting him nowhere other than more pissed. “When’s the last time you talked to her?”

“I called her on her cellphone while she was still at the airport. Remember … it was about three months ago? The same day you talked to her, Noah. The day you told her to go home and find her Prince Charming. That there was nothing for her here.”

“I can’t believe she told you that.”

“I can’t believe
you
told her that.”

“It was the truth.”

“Well, if it’s the truth, why do you care?”

“Because she’s disappeared, dammit! That’s why. No one has seen or talked to her in almost three months. I can’t believe you’re not concerned for her. I thought you were her friend.”

“As far as I know, she still lives in the same place … doesn’t sound like a disappearance to me.”

“You know what I mean. She won’t talk to any of us. Every message I leave gets ignored, every email I send unanswered.”

“You know where she is, go see her.”

“I can’t.”

Noah ignored Eden’s exasperated eye roll. She knew full well why he couldn’t go see her.

“Noah, you’re making this harder than it is. Call her family. Let them tell you how she is.”

“I don’t do well with family.”

“So basically you want to know how she is, as long as you don’t have to go see her yourself, or put yourself out there by introducing yourself to her family? You think they’re going to bite you or something?”

Her sarcastic wit was not appreciated. “What do you think they’re going to tell a complete stranger? They don’t know about me, so I can’t …” He stopped as Eden shook her head. “What?”

“They do know about you.”

“She wouldn’t tell them about me. She knows she’d be putting herself and her family at risk if they were linked to me.”

“Oh, she didn’t tell them you were the famous Noah McCall. Actually, I think she told them your name was Noah Stoddard.”

“Why’d she say anything at all?”

“I think that’s something Samara will have to explain.” A sad little smile played around Eden’s mouth, telling Noah there was a lot he didn’t know.

“I can’t call them. … Why can’t you?”

Wide-eyed, Eden shrugged. “I’m not the one looking for her.”

“Jordan’s talked to them and they won’t tell him. If they’re not telling him … they won’t tell me.”

“Well then, there you have it. They’ve apparently talked to her. They know where she is and that she’s fine. So what’s the problem?”

Noah turned away and looked out the window. He needed to know how she was. He didn’t need to see her … couldn’t risk seeing her. Just talking to someone who’d talked to her would be enough. That’s all he wanted. Why couldn’t anyone understand that?

Before he could snarl a lame reason at her, the phone rang. “What?” Noah snarled into the phone instead.

“Turn to channel eleven,” Jordan said.

“I don’t have time to watch television.”

“Trust me, you’ll want to watch this.”

Noah picked up the remote on his desk and turned on the plasma TV across the room. Switching to channel eleven, he slumped into a chair and glared at the screen.

An attractive blonde smiled at the camera. “Welcome back. We’re talking with a young woman who has put herself in harm’s way time and again to catch online predators. Due to her need to remain anonymous, we can’t show her face.” The interviewer turned toward a petite and distinctly feminine shadow. “Can you tell us how you became interested in this?”

The shadow shrugged with a delicate familiarity. “I had a friend who was involved in catching an online predator. I became intrigued and decided to see if I could do something like this.”

Noah shot up in his chair. Breath, heart, and everything in between stopped functioning.

“And you do this with the cooperation of the police department?”

“Yes. Though we’re not directly related to the police department, we work closely with them. I make the initial contact. When the men show up, looking for a young girl they’ve met online, they see me. We chat for a few minutes and then they’re arrested.”

“Some people might call that entrapment.”

“Yeah, well, I call it getting a pervert off the street.”

Despite the fury engulfing him, her wry answer had Noah’s lips moving up in a grin. Damn, she was a piece of work.

“Have you had any problems with any of these predators, once they come to meet you?”

The slight hesitation caused Noah’s blood to go cold.

“A couple of times they were somewhat resistant, but we were able to bring them under control.”

“And do you help with this, too?”

Another delicate shrug. “When I have to.”

The interviewer thanked her for the interview, turned to the camera, and began to give statistics of predators who lurk online, looking for their prey. Noah had stopped listening. He couldn’t believe she had done this.

“Of all the insane, stupid, asinine things,” he muttered as he stalked to his bedroom.

“Where are you going?”

Without turning, he snapped, “Where do you think I’m going?”

“So you know who that was?”

“Of course I know.” That sweet, husky voice whispered in his dreams nightly.

“So what are you going to do?”

“First I’m going to shake her so hard her teeth rattle, then I’m going to spank her pretty ass until she can’t sit down for a week.”

Noah closed the door on Eden’s burst of laughter.

As he threw his clothes into a suitcase, he couldn’t stop shaking his head. Dammit, he’d wanted to keep her safe, away from the scum he worked with every day and what had she done? She’d not only immersed herself in it, she was putting her life at risk.

Did she think that just because they’d worked together, she was trained for this kind of thing? She was too delicate, too fragile. He couldn’t allow her to put herself in danger like that.

And if she argued with him? His mouth kicked up in a grin. Well, he still had his ties. Tying her to the kitchen chair had worked once. Why not again?

Samara searched the room for her date. He’d sent her a picture showing a nice-looking young man in his late teens. She was willing to bet this creep hadn’t seen young skin like that in the mirror in twenty years.

Over the last few weeks, she’d gotten pretty good at being able to spot a real teen who only wanted to hook up and have some fun and a creepy, weaselly freak of a sexual predator. The differences were sometimes subtle, but they were there. Most of the time it was a gut feeling and nothing more.

Tonight’s meeting place was a coffee shop, a popular teen hangout. A ripple of chills ran down her spine, making her squirm. Why was she so nervous tonight? This would be her seventh sting. The other six resulted in three arrests, two lonely teens who really wanted to meet a nice girl, and a no-show. She had been somewhat nervous on the other jobs. After all, she, more than most, knew what could happen. But tonight’s nervousness seemed more acute. She felt as if she was being observed, watched. Her eyes sought out the reason for her uneasiness, but she saw nothing that should cause such alarm.

The last few months hadn’t been easy but they had been worthwhile. Not hearing from Noah. Knowing that she’d offered her love to him and he’d rejected her. Knowing that at any time of the day or night, he might be putting his life on the line and she might never see him again. She still held out hope for them … for him. Loving him meant understanding him … his motives and his beliefs. His rejection of her love had hurt tremendously but hadn’t broken her spirit or tarnished her feelings. No matter what he said or did, her love was forever.

But she refused to sit and pine away like some weepy romantic fool. Seeing those young girls so abused and terrified had struck a need in her to do something more. She’d contacted the police and had been directed to the Macklin agency, a small private investigative firm who worked with the sex crimes unit of the police department to catch online predators. She’d been vague about her experience, but they’d seemed to understand and agreed to give her an opportunity to prove herself. She’d been working for them ever since.

Not wanting to dwell on her heartbreak and determined to keep her promise to herself, Samara had also enrolled in a self-defense class and shooting lessons. The self-defense classes were fun and kept her in shape. Shooting a gun not so much. It had taken her almost half an hour to stop shaking before she could shoot the first time. Now it only took about three minutes to settle down and begin shooting. Definite progress. She was now the proud owner of a. 38-caliber Smith & Wesson AirLight. Small, light, and the perfect size for her purse or ankle holster.