“But after a few years of being awakened to my own psychological torture, I was determined to learn why a secret becomes flesh and has a heartbeat just like you and I. I read every book I could find on sociology, psychology and family systems of dysfunction. The more I read, the more fascinated I became and the more I was determined to understand the way a buried secret can infect a bloodline and cause generations of pain.”
Jane’s ears pricked. “Where did you read that a secret can
infect
a bloodline?”
“That’s my term for it.”
“Yours?”
“Yes. What’s your point, Jane?”
“Jake Van Gorden used that same word, both in conversation and in writing in regard to
the sins of his family
. It’s an odd word and even stranger when a missing boy you’re accused of taking also used it.”
Jordan’s back went up. “I won’t be a martyr for their cause, Jane! No one loves a martyr except the Church. To everyone else, they’re just dusty bores.”
“Why don’t you ever give me a straight answer?!” Jane yelled.
“Because I would hope that you’d trust me by now to know the answer!” His manner hardened. “There are two things people can’t handle—death and the truth. Ask yourself some questions, Jane.” Jordan took several steps toward her. “What are people willing to sacrifice to keep a secret?
Who
are they willing to sacrifice for that secret?!
I
was sacrificed to serve the secret of my father’s affair! People are sacrificed every fucking day, Jane, in the name of a
secret
. And the darker that secret, the more it must be kept at all costs!”
“The cost of a life?”
“
Especially
at the cost of a life! Wasn’t my life sacrificed? You
can
sacrifice someone without killing them physically. You take away their honor, their right to be heard, their right to exist. You can bury a man without putting him in a box.” He moved closer to her. “I
exist
, Jane. I exist in this town like I’ve existed in every other town. I exist under a
modus vivendi
—a practical arrangement that allows conflicting people to coexist until a final settlement is reached. The final agreement is usually my removal from the town. Take away a man’s sense of safety and he never feels as if he can exhale. It’s psychological warfare at its finest. You never have to do anything else to him. Just keep him on the slenderest of edges so he feels a bit unsteady and you’ll own him because the tension within him will prevent him from fighting back.” He raised his hand. “But I’ll be damned
if they’re going to lead me toward desperation because I don’t believe in desperation. It always leads to compliance!” Jordan stood within an uncomfortable foot of Jane. “I know how the game is played, honey. I may be half black, but I won’t be their nigger.”
Jane had enough. She turned and moved through the thicket of trees back toward the truck. Jordan followed closely on her heels. “You know what it feels like to be alone,
don’t you, Jane
?” he yelled. “Staring at the ceiling when you’re in bed and wondering if there will ever be another warm body next to you that won’t end up
destroying you
!”
She stopped and stared daggers at Jordan. “You’ve crossed the line one too many times with me. I
can
make your life a living hell if I choose to!”
“But you know the truth, Jane.” He held her arm, more in desperation. “Most women who leave a man to
find themselves
, end up finding themselves in the arms of another man because truly
finding yourself
is a lonely and terrifying proposition. You have an understanding of what abject loneliness feels like. You understand my life more than anyone!”
Jane shook him off. “Stop dragging me into your fucking nightmare!” She turned around and moved quickly toward the truck.
Jordan remained relentless, hugging her shadow as she walked. “We’re all magnets in this town, Jane! I’ve told you that before! We’re drawn to each other in the electric haze and with a synchronistic aim, we shoot into each other’s lives. Because the more we try to run from our secrets and hide our past, the more we encounter it and are forced to reconcile our sins.” Jordan grabbed Jane’s arm and turned her around. “How else could you explain you and I coming together?
You
, the one who holds the thing I so desperately need but don’t yet understand.
You
, the one who can bring me my life.” His left hand started to shake. “You see?! It’s
confirmation
!”
“Let go of me!” Jane seethed. He released her arm and she
stormed toward the truck.
Jordan stood still. “Don’t abandon me, Jane! You’re the only one who can bring me my life!” Jane’s gait increased. “Just because you don’t believe in something doesn’t prevent it from still operating in your life.” She moved into a slow run but she could still hear his screaming voice. “If things don’t work out here, I’m heading to south Florida and opening up a hair salon called,
Mien Coif
. Think it’ll fly, Jane?” She flung open the door to the truck but the narrow canyon caught the echo of Jordan’s voice and carried it back to her. “Don’t believe their lies, Jane!”
She backed the truck away from the cabin and took a hard spin, spraying gravel across the dirt. Barreling out of Jordan’s property, she turned right to head back to Midas. Her face was flushed with anger and indignation.
Goddamn him
, she thought. This was the second time in less than twenty-four hours that the bastard hit tender nerves that no one dared inflame. She craved revenge; to shut him up so she wouldn’t have to hear him remind her of the awful truth. Who in the hell wanted to hear the truth, even when it was callously staring one in the face? To have her private thoughts laid bare and screamed into the wind made Jane feel far too exposed. She could make him suffer. A cascade of devious police tactics lobbed for attention. There were loopholes Jane could exploit; meddlesome search warrants she could execute. Even though she knew she had nothing but her bruised ego to blame, Jane didn’t care. The gaping private wound needed to be covered. It would quash any popularity she had with Jordan. But then again, Jane never suffered the burden of popularity in her life. Why start now?
Jane was so deeply entrenched in her desire for retribution, that she didn’t see the speeding patrol car buzz by her truck on the opposite side of the highway. It wasn’t until she looked in the rear view mirror, that she saw the car skid to a stop before making a hairpin U-turn and race up the road toward her. Jane kept the truck at an easy 45 mph as she hit a straightaway section of the road. The patrol car raced within inches of her
bumper. Checking the side mirror, she saw it was Bo and he looked enraged. He suddenly jerked the patrol car into the oncoming lane next to her and forced Jane off the highway and onto the shoulder in a blizzard of rage. She skidded to a wobbly stop as he tucked his patrol car behind the truck and exited well before the car came to a standstill. Jane didn’t make it out of the truck more than two feet before Bo’s angry frame loomed closer and launched a stinging attack.
“So, you’re all balls to the wall, is that it?!” Bo screamed, his nostrils flaring and pupils narrowing in for the attack. “I see you got your big-girl panties on and you’re gonna show me how it’s done!” He proceeded to tell Jane how Weyler handed over the twenty Chesterfield cigarettes, along with the pack and ashtray that she absconded. Fortunately, Weyler left out the fact that Jane followed Bailey to the strip club because the pointed message on her Mustang that morning clearly sent Bo over the edge. He figured he knew who wrote it. “You’ve been talking to that child killer behind my back! Don’t you lie to me no more! Beanie laid it out for me! You got him riled! And now
you
are the one at the center of all this mess!
You!
”
Jane felt slightly intimidated by Bo’s hulking figure. She spoke in a calm voice; the kind of tone she reserved for talking jumpers off the ledge. “I screwed up, Bo. I admit it. I thought if I drew him into my confidence, he’d open up about Jake…”
“But he didn’t,
did he
?! He just talked in circles with lots of riddles that don’t mean nothin’! Don’t you think I know the way that son-of-a-bitch acts?! See, I’ve kept him safe ever since he dragged his guilty ass into this town. I did it because that’s my job. For three goddamn decades, I’ve protected every person who came here to live and leave their past behind. And in four goddamn days, you have done nothin’ but take a wreckin’ ball to everything I’ve built!”
Jane took a step back. “Now hang on. I admit I should have told you about the cigarettes. But you can’t lay the blame on me for all the chaos Jake’s kidnapper has set forth!”
“Let’s call the kidnapper by name, Perry!
Jordan Copeland.
And you obviously must have said somethin’ that pissed him off for him to leave his four-letter calling card on your car in deer blood!”
“Deer?”
“The first thing I did was test it. Good God��there’s people standin’ around your car thinkin’ that it’s Jake’s blood! I had to put their minds at ease. But now all they want to know is when this hell is gonna stop. ‘When are we gettin’ our town back, Bo?’ And I can’t give ‘em that answer because I don’t know how much you’ve compromised the case by chattin’ up the Trash Bag!”
“What about the Van Gordens? Did you ever consider that they’re not opening up to you and that they could be putting their own son’s life in jeopardy?”
“Jesus Christ! Jake is
never
comin’ home. You know it and I know it! And if he ain’t dead, he’s ruined for life.”
Jane stared at Bo in silence. There was something intensely jarring in the way Bo’s face filled with sadness. “So keep him lost? Is that what you’re saying?”
He swallowed hard. “Sometimes a man has to accept when his son ain’t ever gonna be right and when he’s never comin’ home.” Bo’s chin trembled. “See, the damage is done!” he said, recovering quickly. Bo shifted his stance closer to Jane. “Let me tell you somethin’, Perry. When you take away everything, a man is left with two things—his integrity and his reputation. I’ve worked my ass off my entire life for both of those. I may not be the smartest man on this planet, but I’ll be damned if I’m leavin’ this town without both of them intact.” Bo stared at Jane, in one breath fearful and in the next, obdurate.
“If you keep turning away from what you refuse to see or don’t want to hear, it doesn’t speak much for your integrity and it sure as hell tarnishes your reputation.”
Bo’s eyes narrowed. “You think you know me, Perry? Don’t be so goddamn sure! I’ve heard and seen too damn much in this life.” He turned and lumbered back to his patrol car, wincing in
pain as his large frame hit the driver’s seat.
By the time Jane rolled back in front of the B&B, there were only a few people gathered around her ice blue crime scene. The spring sun warmed the pavement, taking the edge off what had been a cool morning. A lone deputy finished taking photos while another dusted for prints. Weyler stood on the sidewalk, calmly answering questions from a concerned citizen. When he saw Jane, he excused himself and met her as she exited the truck.
“I tried to stop him, Jane…”
“I’m sure you did. He thinks Jordan did this,” she said, motioning to the Mustang.
“Any other likely suspects?”
Jane considered the possibilities as she removed her jacket. “Bo?”
“You serious?”
“I’ve pissed him off plenty. Maybe he’s trying to scare me.”
“That isn’t his style, Jane.
If
this is the work of the kidnapper, and if it’s not Jordan, then he’s suddenly making it very personal. Somehow, he knows you’re working the case.”
“I’ve never been connected to this case in the media.”
“There was that impromptu news conference the day we showed up. You and I were included in the frame during Bo’s sound bite.”
Jane thought it through. “So, if it’s not Jordan, whoever did it was watching TV that one day and caught a twenty-second glimpse of me in the background. But my car wasn’t featured in the shot so how would they know what I drove based on that TV clip?”
“The only people who know what car you drive are people in this town.”
“And Jordan…”
“Did he offer anything of value this morning?”
“He told me he didn’t kill Daniel Marshall. He said the boy shot himself by accident.”
Weyler’s eyes widened. “That was his
big secret
?” Jane nodded. “Fascinating timing, don’t you think? Just when the heat’s bearing down on him, he throws out that bone to make us question everything.”
“I don’t think he was lying,” Jane said, hating to admit it.
“But you’re also not sure he’s innocent either.”
Jane moved to the rear of her car. “I just want to get as much distance from him as possible…” The deputy took the last shot and headed back down the street toward Town Hall. The other continued dusting for prints. “Any idea when we’ll hear back on that bloody thumb print you sent to CBI?”
“I said to rush it because we’ve got a pending case up here, but we’ll get it back when we get it back.”
Jane stared at the graphic assault on her trunk. “You know, this doesn’t compute. All along, I’ve said that the M.O. of our guy is that he wants to be heard. He’s tired of being ignored. I’ve actually made quite a point of exposing whatever I can. If I’m right that this individual wants attention, he wouldn’t write,
Fuck You, Jane!
He’d write
Thank You, Jane!
”
“It could have also been a knee-jerk response to an exchange that tripped off his anger. When you left Jordan’s yesterday, did you leave on a good note?”
Jane easily pulled up her parting words to Jordan. “I said, ‘Fuck you!’ And I meant it.” Weyler furrowed his brow. “Hey, he crossed the line with me.” She turned away. “He’s got a bad habit of doing that. And frankly, I’m sick of it!” The desire for retribution swelled up again. “I’m ramping this up, like you said. I’m tired of playing games with Jordan.”