Revelations: Book One of the Lalassu (25 page)

Michael still stroked her fingers, and Danielle drew strength from the warm contact.

“I never told them what happened. When I came home, Mom was full of I-told-you-so crap, and even Dad said he hoped I understood now why I couldn’t expect a normal life. They were both focused on Gwen, trying to stop her from hurting herself to stop the voices.”

“They attacked you. You defended yourself.” Michael’s voice stayed remarkably calm but she could smell his building fury.

She still couldn’t look at him. Not until she finished. “Neither of them ever recovered.”

His fingers stilled against her hand, and she knew she’d finally managed to reveal an unforgivable secret. “Both of them are in some high-priced care facility, wearing diapers and drool bibs. I went to see them once. I had a stupid idea that maybe the Huntress could help fix them. As soon as I stepped in the room, they started screaming. One hit his head against the wall over and over, like he was trying to knock himself out. I left and never went back.”

She couldn’t decipher his scent. It was intense, but so mixed up and chaotic that she couldn’t pick apart the pieces. She pressed on. “I didn’t know it could be like that. Before that night, I’d sleep with a guy and he’d get this strange expression when he came, but they never said anything. They’d just hurry me out the door as quick as they could. Sometimes one would spend a couple of hours in a daze. That’s all that was supposed to happen. But that night, I wanted them hurt. I wanted them to know what it felt like to be fucking violated.”

Even now, she couldn’t quite make herself feel entirely sorry. They’d deserved punishment, maybe not permanently, but something. She’d racked up more than enough sins to blacken her soul since then, though. “Since that night, the Huntress is darker than any of the stories say it should be. If I don’t feed it, it makes people around me go crazy. They get horny and violent and forget about everything else.”

“So you Hunt predators and force them to face their truth so the Huntress doesn’t hurt anyone else,” Michael finished. He still wanted to believe the best about her.

“It wakes them up. Some of them gave up addictions and shit like that. Some of them clamped down harder, trying to pretend nothing had changed. I used to try and keep track of them, but after a while, I couldn’t.” Dani straightened. “I don’t pretend I’m some kind of one-fuck-you’re-cured therapist. If I could stop, I would. And now you can go.”

He blinked, confused. “Why exactly would I go?”

“You wanted me to be a hero. I’m not and I never will be. I’m just like they were.” She turned to hurry out of the house, not wanting to see or smell the disgust she knew would be coming.

Chapter Thirty-Four

“Hold it right there!” Michael wrapped his hand around Dani’s wrist. She could have broken free easily but she stopped, face averted. Her self-loathing seeped through the contact. He couldn’t let it continue. Taking a deep breath, he steadied himself and prepared to engage. “You’re not running from this like a coward.”

It worked. Sort of.

“What?” Dani hissed, surprised into jerking her head up to meet his eyes.

“You heard me. You’ve run away from everything that frightened you. Those guys in college, the Huntress, our relationship, Dalhard.” He saw red glints beginning to appear around the edges of her irises and kept going. Either this would work or he was about to be pummeled in what might be the most stupid circumstances possible. “It’s time to stand up and face
something
.”

Her arm tensed and he felt her preparing to strike.

“Attacking me won’t change anything. It’s just another way to run from what you know is true.” He felt her resolve hardening along with her jaw and switched tactics, softening his voice and grip. “You have the power to fight. There’s no reason you can’t be a hero.”

“I’m not like you, Michael. You’re one of the good guys.” The red faded from her eyes and he sent a silent prayer of thanks that his gamble had paid off.

“Bullshit. You’re fighting like hell for your family, for Bernie, for those people in the kitchen. You care about all of them; I can feel it inside you. You care so damn much that you’re terrified of letting them down. You’re willing to sacrifice everything for them.” He cradled her face in his hands, pressing his forehead against hers. Her skin burned against his, feverish proof of the stress she was under. He wanted to kiss her, but neither of them could afford to be distracted right now.

“Not everything. I won’t risk you. I watched what the Huntress did to my father. It sucked out his life force and he never walked again. My mother couldn’t stop it. And that was before it made me into a monster.” Dani’s fist tightened painfully in his hair as she pressed against him. A wail of misery swelled inside her, threatening to break free.

Michael wished to every deity ever worshipped that he knew an answer.

“That’s not what happened.”

Dani and Michael broke apart when Walter spoke. His chair sat inside the open doorway to the library, a pistol resting in his lap. He noticed the two of them staring at it. “There was shouting.”

Michael shoved aside his embarrassment to focus on what Walter had said. “What do you mean, that’s not what happened?”

“The Huntress didn’t attack me,” Walter answered.

Dani narrowed her eyes. “I was fucking there. I saw it. You never wanted to talk about it. Mom wouldn’t talk about it but I saw it all.” Michael felt terror rising in Dani, locking every muscle into rigidity, and knew she was remembering the horrible alien presence hovering over her father’s bloody body.

Walter’s eyes flashed wide in surprise before softening in comprehension. “I didn’t know you were there, sweetheart.”

“Vincent and I were worried. We sneaked downstairs to see what was happening. So you don’t have to lie to protect Mom. I know what happened.”

“Dani, I’d been hit by gunfire. I’d escaped, but I was dying. I called your mom for help, but it took too long to get to the safehouse where you were hiding. I knew she could tap into her connection to save me, but at a cost. I begged her to do it. I was ready to give up anything to get more time with her and with my children. It didn’t attack me, it saved me,” Walter explained gently.

“But you were screaming…” Dani’s fingers tightened on Michael’s. “It was awful. I used to lie awake at night and remember it. I’d want to scream, myself. Vincent ran away when he heard you. But I stayed, I needed to know if it killed you.”

Michael heard the sound echoing through their linked hands. It didn’t sound like a man. An unearthly howling, as if some living creature were being ripped apart. He shuddered. If she’d heard that, he didn’t blame her for believing her father had been attacked.

Dani continued. “It sensed me there and part of it came toward me. I was ready to fight it with my bare hands to keep you safe. It laughed in my head while Mom was in a trance, and it said I would be next. But I knew I didn’t want any part of it. Not then, not ever. It said I didn’t have a choice, that it was already a part of me.”

Walter took her free hand, gripping it tightly. “I’m so sorry you saw that, Dani. No wonder you resisted so strongly. Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Who would I tell?” Dani shouted. “It took you months to be able to crawl out of bed, and Mom shut down so completely that it was like she was gone. She never even came out of the trailer. Eric and I tried our best to keep things together, especially when Gwen arrived. Vincent refused to sleep in the trailer. Did you know that? He spent six months sleeping in the truck before we could get him back inside. By the time Mom started getting up, all she ever told me was that it was my duty to become the High Priestess.” The barrage of words ran out, and she looked at her father again. “Are you telling me it didn’t attack you?”

“No. Without it, I’d be dead. It even gave me minimal sensation in my legs. Not enough to walk, but enough to know if I damage something. It’s not a monster, sweetheart. And neither are you. It’s high time you stopped calling yourself that,” Walter said. “No one insults my little girl.”

Dani studied the two men, each holding one of her hands. Her worldview was undergoing a major reshuffling. Michael could practically feel pieces sliding into their new places. He wondered if this single revelation would be enough to overcome years of fear.

“I don’t know what to say.” Dani looked at Michael. “Is it true?”

Michael extended his hand toward Walter, asking for permission. The man put his free hand in Michael’s, making skin-to-skin contact. After a brief pause, Michael nodded slowly. He could sense her father’s sincerity, guilt, and pride, but no gloating over a successful deceit.

“We should have talked about it. I kept quiet because your mom was so hurt by what happened that any mention of the Goddess was like rubbing salt on her wounds. I thought she must have explained things to you, and I didn’t want to hurt her more by bringing it up. I should have asked you. We could have saved everyone a world of heartbreak.” Walter didn’t seem offended by his daughter’s disbelief.

“I couldn’t. Neither of you wanted to talk about what happened. You were both terrified, I could smell it. Then Gwen came and you focused on her and what she needed. Eric, Vincent, and me, we tried to stay out of the way.” Dani looked up. “How did the Huntress work when you were with Mom?”

Michael stiffened in surprise. In hindsight, it was obvious. Virginia had been High Priestess when her children were conceived, after all.

“It wasn’t really an issue, since she’d already transitioned from the Huntress to High Priestess. The Hunt is only temporary. When the ritual is completed, then the conduit opens between the priestess and the Goddess.” Walter pursed his lips as he thought. “If your mother chose, she could use the Huntress to give her lover a cosmic reality check. She did it to me a few times when she was mad at me.”

“I never got a choice.” Dani had said the words so many times.

This time, he believed her. “That isn’t how it’s supposed to work. It’s a partnership.” Walter’s gaze turned inward. “The Goddess used your mother’s clairvoyant powers to send visions and warnings we could pass on.”

“I’m a feral, not a psychic.” Dani bit her lip.

“Maybe that’s why the Huntress has been so physical with you, so different from what happened with your mom or the other priestesses.” Walter glanced down at the gun in his lap. “I heard what you said about what happened in college. I didn’t realize it was like that. I’m sorry, sweetheart. That’s more than you should have had to deal with.”

“It’s why I stayed away as much as I could, except for helping with Gwen. You and Mom smelled so relieved when I came home, but I never knew if it was because I was back or because you were afraid of losing a potential High Priestess,” Dani whispered.

Michael sensed the pent-up old hurts easing inside her as the conversation went on. From Walter’s grip, he sensed her father taking on the pain and burden of guilt for his mistakes. His therapeutic instincts wanted to sit them down for some in-depth counseling, but his training warned him this wasn’t the moment to interfere.

Dani lifted her head, her gaze sharp. “When she was seven, Gwen told me I had to go. That the Huntress would destroy us if I tried to do the ritual. But yesterday, she said I had to do it or Dalhard would win. I’ve fought it so long. I know it’s going to take me over if it gets a chance.”

“I hope you’re wrong about that.” Walter frowned.

“I don’t think we have a choice any more. Not if we want to stop Dalhard.” Dani replied.

“I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he struck when he did or that he targeted your brothers. He must suspect they’re my children.”

Walter’s grip came perilously close to crushing Michael’s hand. The brief cry escaping his lips bought Michael an immediate loosening. Walter and Dani dropped hands, but Michael was selfishly pleased to note that she kept her fingers interlaced with his.

“We’re going to have a planning session in the kitchen,” Walter announced, wheeling his chair back. “Join us when you’ve finished.”

He left the two of them alone in the library, his parting invitation reminding Michael of all they stood to lose: Bernie, Vincent, and Eric, even Gwen. But none of it hurt as much as the thought of Dani’s brilliant stubbornness vanishing into an alien consciousness.

“I’ve been afraid of it for so long,” Dani whispered to herself. “It seems hard to imagine it could have been any other way.”

“Our minds always build up our fears to be bigger than they are. I wonder if the Huntress reacted to your fear. It’s a psychic connection, it has to be influenced by the person it’s connected to,” Michael said, thinking out loud. “Maybe there’s a way to use that to keep it from taking you—”

Dani set her fingers over his lips, her eyes dark with tears. “I know you want to save me. But we’re out of time. I have to take the chance.” Her other hand still clung tightly to him.

Michael wanted to argue. In a story, someone would miraculously know some forgotten rituals to control the Huntress. But no convenient third party popped up to offer salvation.

She kissed him lightly and he tasted the saltiness of her tears on her lips. “You were right. I can’t run away from this. If I do, we’ll lose everything that matters to us.”

“I don’t want to lose you.” It couldn’t end like this.

“I’ll finally be what you see when you look at me,” she smiled, smoothing back the hair from his forehead. “I’ll be the hero you deserve and you’ll get to save the girl.”

“Dani…” His protest trailed off. He knew there wasn’t time. His body screamed for her, rock-hard inside his jeans. It wasn’t distracted by the bigger picture. It only knew how much he loved and wanted her.

“I love you,” she whispered, pulling her hand free to wrap her arms around him. “I always will.”

“I love you, too.” He held her, wishing the moment could last forever, but it couldn’t.