Rewired (The Progress Series)
Read Rewired (The Progress Series) Online
Authors: Amy Queau
Rewire
d
The Third Book in the Progress Series
By Amy Queau
I’m sick. Charlie thinks she can help me. Silly little girl.
I know that no one is ready for what’s about to happen
—
especially me. And I don’t know where it will take me. But for now, she’s here. For now, she chooses me.
Jesse
Chapter One
Silence burned the inside of Jesse’s car. The whizzing of traffic and a muffled song on the radio weren’t enough to mask the desire they both felt for the need for words. Someone needed to speak. They were both equally shocked that Charlie had climbed into the passenger seat. She had accepted his offer and there they were, trying to figure out what was going to happen next.
“You’re sick, Jess. And I don’t know if I can help you; I don’t even know if you want it. I may not be able to fully relate to you, and I know that no one has ever really tried. Probably because you’ve never let anyone get this close to the truth. But I’m going to try. I’m going to try like hell to make this right for you, because I care. I adore you, Jess, you know that.” Her tone teetered between annoyance and adoration. “But also because I’ve given up my ‘happily ever after’ to make this right. I walked away from my future, for
you
. The man I was going to spend the rest of my life with is now standing—alone—in a parking lot, holding my coat in his arms, wondering where I am. So all I’m going to say is that you better be ready for this. Because this is going to be a ride to hell and back.” Glancing at him sideways briefly, she tossed her cigarette butt out the window. “It might just be the
second
hardest thing you’ll ever endure in your lifetime.”
The second?
Jess swallowed. “What was the first?” His eyelids drooped and his leg began to tremble.
“Having to go through it the first time,” she said, expressionless while lighting another cigarette.
Jess huffed. “What are you talking about?”
“You, Jess. Your past, your scars, your parents, all of it.”
He rubbed the back of his neck, and there was an edge to his laughter. “And what if I say fuck you?”
“You won’t.” She laughed and set her hands in her lap. The space between them instantly grew unbearably warm. “But if that’s how you feel, then you can turn the car around and drop me back off at the party. We can say our goodbyes there.”
No! No. I’ve gotten you this far. I’m not taking you back there; back to him. From now on you’re not going anywhere without me. You’ve chosen me.
Holy shit. You’ve chosen me.
He shook his head, unsure of this revelation.
Quit asking yourself why.
“No. But you forget I’m still a resident in your building, Charlie. I’ve signed a six month lease. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
It will be different this time; you escaped me once and I won’t let that happen again. You’re right. This moment is too volatile to risk it.
“And
you
forget that I’m still your landlord, Jess. That gives me an advantage too. I can control where you live for the next six months, so don’t test me. Plus, I don’t need to remind you who can sleep at night with peace of mind. No matter what you could do to fuck me over, I’m the one who will be able to say I did all I could for this little situation we’ve gotten ourselves into. And you’ll still be having your flashbacks, nightmares, and all the problems you have right now, which haven’t seemed to have changed much in a year. So, we either get to the bottom of all this shit you carry on your shoulders every day so that you can try to be a functioning human being, or we end it here and now.” She looked Jess square in the eye with her eyebrows raised until he had to pull his stare away to watch the road.
“So then, what’s your plan?” he mocked.
She exhaled slowly and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I don’t have one, yet,” she muttered.
Jesse screeched the car to a stop on the side of the road and slammed it into park. His temples began to throb and he strained to keep his mouth from snarling. “So you just got in my car, left your pretty little fiancé and your party, not because you love me, but because you want to
cure
me? Do I have that correct, Charlie? Because let me tell you something, there’s no curing this!” he said forcefully, pointing to his head with extreme vigor. “There’s nothing here to fix. What makes you so sure you’re the one who’s going to be able to figure it all out? What makes you think that
you
—” He stopped wringing the steering wheel to scratch his forehead. “Over a decade’s worth of shrinks and meds and women haven’t been able to figure it out, Charlie. I just am who I am. Nothing will ever change where I came from or what I’ve been through.”
A deep furrow pinched her brow and she softly said, “I’m not willing to give up. And if we don’t figure it out, then the past two years have been for nothing.” She licked her lips with a cautious hope.
Avoiding a fight, they stared at the road ahead of them, trying to settle their nerves as Jesse continued the drive home.
She’s exhausting. I’m not sure I have the patience for this. God! I wish it could just go back to the way it was a year ago. Without Sam. Without this Doctor Phil shit. Without sex. Well actually, I could do with some more of that.
“You know, I’m not always a bad guy. I do have some redeemable qualities,” he spoke quietly while streaming his index finger across the inside of her thigh.
“You have…
many
redeemable qualities,” she whispered, pulling her dress down to displace his hand. “That’s my whole point. Your problem
isn’t
that you’re an asshole…” She grew quieter and murmured, “That’s everyone else’s problem.
Your
problem is that no one has been able to show you the kind of person you can be. And it’s obvious that at the age of—what, twenty-eight?—you aren’t going to figure it out on your own.”
He cracked his knuckles with his thumb and exhaled. “Why are you doing this? Tell me,” he said.
Charlie sighed and threw her cigarette butt out the window. Turning back toward Jess, her smile wavered. “I’m doing this because I…because I’m a pathological optimist.”
He eyed her in disbelief. “That’s the
only
reason?”
Say it, Charlie.
Her body softened and she turned toward the window, whispering something too softly for Jess to hear.
What?
“I’m sorry, what was that you said?” he asked, his head snapping in her direction.
She said nothing and continued to stare at the white line on the road outside her window.
Oh, shit.
I think she just said she loved me.
After parking the car, he flew out and slammed his door, causing Charlie to jump in her seat. Before she could reach for the handle, he had opened the door and was standing in front of her. At a loss for words, he stared down at her worried expression while she sat, avoiding his eyes.
The snow was sprinkling through the air around him, much lighter now than when the evening had begun. The stars were cloaked with a silvery blanket that sparkled as the moon skulked its way between the clouds.
The car door squeaked as he tried to open it farther. Battling with his indecision, he knelt down on the asphalt and shimmied her legs on either side of his chest.
Limp and unresponsive to his touch, Charlie closed her eyes. With her dress creeping up to her hips, Jesse slid her body toward him and cradled her cheeks in his hands. Her hair had fallen and her mascara was threatening to run down her face. Tilting her head toward his, Charlie briefly opened her eyes to meet his, only to close them once more.
“Look at me,” he whispered.
She shook her head.
“Charlie, please.”
She opened her eyes and glanced toward the moon, trying to prevent a tear from falling.
“It’s been a big night,” she finally said.
He nodded. “It has.”
With hesitancy, his arms reached around her waist and he pressed his face against her chest. After a short delay, she rubbed her cheek against the top of his head.
“We should go inside,” she whispered.
Not yet.
“Okay,” said Jess, pulling her closer, not quite willing to let go.
“Come on, Jess. If anyone sees—”
“I know, I know. Your
residents
.”
He pried himself away and took her hand to help her to her feet. She glanced around briefly, making sure no one could see her, and straightened her dress as it fell back to her knees. Taking off his jacket to offer it to Charlie, Jesse was fixing the collar as a car drove into the lot. For a brief moment he could see the terror in her eyes as she removed his hand from his coat. When Charlie didn’t recognize the driver, she sagged back against the car.
Running her hands over her face, she whispered, “What the fuck am I doing?”
He let out a soft laugh and his eyes dropped to the ground. With a dry throat, he whispered, “Don’t worry, I make irrational decisions all the time.” His smile shifted. “Come on. Let’s go inside.” He gestured with his head toward the front door.
*
“Now what?” he said, as they approached Charlie’s apartment.
“Now, I go to sleep. And you…you do whatever it is vampires do at night. Feed, I guess.” She let a giggle escape.
“Oh, jokes all of a sudden?”
She shrugged. “I guess I just thought the conversation was a little heavy.”
Fumbling with his keys, Jesse spoke with little certainty. “May I come in?”
Her head shook frantically for a brief moment. “Not tonight. I haven’t had the locks changed yet, and Sam still has a key. Not that I would have any intentions of…well, not that you would have any…I mean, it’s not like we’re gonna…” She shuffled her feet and sighed. “Good night, Jess. It’s Sunday tomorrow. I’ll come over to your place around ten in the morning. Sound good?”
“You don’t want to come to my place tonight?” he asked quickly.
“Do you need me to?”
His eyes shifted around the hall in a rapid blink and he tugged on his earlobe. “Is this a trick question?”
Her eyes moved from her door to him, and back again. “No, it’s okay. I’ll come over now. Just give me a few minutes and I’ll meet you there.”
It was five minutes later that Charlie arrived at his door, knocking.
Having anticipated her arrival, he swung open the door swiftly and smiled. “Why are you knocking? You have a key,” he said, cocking his head.
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t have my work keys on me,” she said, entering. Charlie had changed her clothes and was in her pajamas and fluffy white slippers.
“I texted Sam,” she said abruptly, and waited for his response.
Whoa.
The rumbling fear in his stomach tumbled its way through his body until it reached his face. His chin lifted slightly and his eye twitched.
Steady now.
“I’m only telling you this because I don’t want you to think that I’m hiding anything from you,” she added.
“What did you tell him?” he asked, his tone unnerved.
“I left him a message saying that I had some things I needed to take care of and that I would let him know when I was ready to talk.”
“Some things you needed to take care of?” he quickly snapped.
“Yeah.”