Rhinoceros (73 page)

My dear Tweed - By the time you read this you will probably have heard of my decision. Why did I do it? Because after a long and reasonably honourable
career, I made an appalling mistake. Gavin Thun
der, who hopes to be Prime Minister, and probably will be after what is going to happen, persuaded me
to accept the post of Supreme Governor of a Britain
divided into six military areas. On reflection, I
realized that, although I thought some change was
needed in our way of life, what he proposed -
and what I agreed to - was a crime. I decided I
could only make amends for my ghastly error of
judgement by removing myself from this fragile
world. I remember gratefully your friendship in
the past. Goodbye.

The letter was signed 'Bernard Barford'. Paula folded up the sheet and looked at Tweed.

'This is awful. Poor man. I don't know what to say.'

'It was his only way out,' Tweed said, so quietly that she
only just caught the words. 'He was an honourable man. I
shall go to the memorial service, if there is one.'

The letter was passed round to everyone. Afterwards
there was a silence in the room that no one seemed inclined
to disturb. The intercom Monica had just installed buzzed.
She answered it, frowned, looked at Tweed.

'There's someone downstairs who won't give a name.'

'Tweed here. Ah, it's you. By all means, come up.
George will show you the way.'

Tweed looked round the room.
This will stun them,
he thought. He spoke quickly.

'When our visitor arrives do not be alarmed. You are all
in for a surprise.'

The door was opened by George, who stood back to let
someone walk in. Everyone, except Tweed and Monica, stared in disbelief as the visitor entered.

Oskar Vernon was smiling, as always. He wore a bright
green shirt, a pale lemon suit and a wild white tie dec
orated with clusters of lemons. In his hand he carried a
straw hat.

'Meet Oskar,' Tweed said, 'a man who helped me
greatly all through the saga we have experienced.'

'I don't understand,' said Paula.

'I can appreciate Paula's confusion,' Oskar commented.
He looked at Tweed, who had gestured for him to sit down.
'Maybe you had better explain.'

'Oskar,' Tweed began, 'has kept me closely informed
about the enemy's movements as often as he could. Know
ing his underworld contacts, I suggested he used his
reputation to infiltrate the enemy organization . . .'

'Some reputation,' snapped Marler, leaning against the
wall.

'It has taken Oskar years,' Tweed went on, 'to build up a reputation among the police, the security services and the
underworld as being a mastermind behind every kind of
villainy. Except he isn't a
villain. He detests all the people
he has had to impress.'

'I hate their guts,' Oskar remarked. 'So I revel in first
fooling them, then destroying them. I arranged for rumours to be spread about my criminal activities long ago, but they
could never prove anything. I mean the police. Because I
am innocent.'

'Anything else you did to help us?' Tweed enquired.

'Well . . .' Oskar straightened his tie. '. . . I did try to
kill off those two paragons of virtue, Barton and Panko. In the middle of the night at Tonder airfield I placed a bomb
inside their aircraft. But they must have discovered it since
they took off safely. On the other hand, I did shoot dead
two men of the Special Reserve in the third jeep, coming
up behind them in my black Audi - incidentally, just before
they were going to kill me.'

'That was a great help,' Tweed commented. 'Otherwise
we'd have had seven instead of five enemies to deal with at
the sand quarry. Also, Oskar phoned me when I was alone
in my room, gave me news of the enemy's latest plans.
Without him we may not have survived.'

'One thing puzzles me,' said Paula, 'While I was in Lisa's
room someone phoned and said they were Oskar.'

'Not me.' Oskar looked perplexed. 'Anything else strange
that happened about the same time?'

'There was a man vacuuming the floor outside. He
didn't look like staff and disappeared soon afterwards.'

'Ah!' Oskar beamed. 'That would be Thunder's idea
to discredit Lisa, make you suspicious of her. The fake
servant would use his mobile to tell whoever phoned that
you were in her room.'

'We'd better take you out to dinner for starters,' Paula suggested. 'After all you've done for us.'

'Thank you so much,' Oskar replied. 'But I must decline
your kind invitation.' He beamed. 'It would ruin my reputation to be seen with such law-abiding citizens! I
must slip away now. It has been a pleasure to work for
you.' He stood up. 'Bless you all . . .'

'Well, I'll be damned,' said Newman when Oskar had
left.

'I did tell you, Paula,' Tweed remarked with a smile.

'Told me what?'

'That no one was what they seemed to be.'