Read Rich People Problems Online
Authors: Kevin Kwan
*
Any good tea sommelier will tell you that GFBOP stands for Golden Flowery Broken Orange Pekoe tea leaves, but of course.
THE HELENA MAY, HONG KONG
Astrid walked into the dining room at the Helena May, Hong Kong's historic private ladies' club, and Isabel Wu waved to her from her table by the window. She strolled toward Charlie's ex-wife a little trepidatiously. It was only the third time they were meeting, and the last time in Singapore hadn't gone so well.
“Astrid. Thank you so much for agreeing to meet with me for lunch. I know it's your last day in Hong Kong, and you must be so busy,” Isabel said, getting up from her chair and giving Astrid a peck on the cheek.
“Thank you for inviting me. I love coming here.”
“Yes, it's such a special place, isn't it? There are very few places like this anymore.”
Astrid took a moment to look around at the other smartly dressed ladies having lunch together. The dining room with its Queen Anne furniture and botanical prints covering the walls was a throwback to another era, when Hong Kong was a British Crown Colony and this was the exclusive bastion for all the wives of high-ranking officials and expatriates. It was all so civilized.
Astrid was relieved by such a warm welcome from Charlie's ex-wife, and glad to see Isabel looking so well, and so chic in white jeans, a rose-colored cashmere sweater with a quilted vest thrown over it. She looked the epitome of Hong Kong old money.
“What have you been doing since you got here?”
Astrid hesitated for a moment. She didn't think it would be a good idea to tell Isabel that she'd spent most of the week planning her upcoming Hong Kong wedding, and yesterday, Charlie had taken her to see the breathtaking new house he had built for them in Shek O. “Not much really, I've just been decompressing. It's good to be away from Singapore, you know?”
“Yes, the past few weeks must have been very hard on you. I'm so sorry about your grandmother's passing. She was a great lady, from everything I know.”
“Thank you.”
“As I told you in my note, I was very close to my Ah Ma. In fact, she used to bring me here for afternoon tea once a month. So this place holds many memories for me.”
“My grandmother used to take me to afternoon tea as well. One of my earliest memories, I think, is of having tea with her at the Raffles in Singapore. But soon after that, she stopped going out.”
“So she became a recluse?” Isabel asked.
“Yes, and no. She didn't go out much, but that's because she felt that the standards had slipped everywhere. She had very exacting standards, and she didn't much care for restaurant food. So she only went to friends' housesâthe ones that she knew had good chefsâor she entertained at home. She liked to have people over all the time, and she was very social up until the end of her life.”
“Sounds like quite a character. All the women of her generation, like my grandmother, were characters. My grandmother was known as the hat lady. She had the most incredible collection of hats, and she never left the house without one.”
The waitress came over and took their orders. After Astrid ordered the cream of asparagus soup, Isabel looked across the table at her with an almost embarrassed look. “You know, I have to confess I've been so nervous all morning about this lunch. I am still so mortified over what I did when I was in Singapore.”
“It's fine, really. I'm just happy to see you so well again.”
“Those women whom I scalded. Was one of them a nun or something? Is she okay? I have such a strange memory of that day. Because I remember everything, you know, but I just had no control over my actions.”
“A nun?” Astrid didn't know what she was referring to.
“I remember the look on her face when I threw that soup. Her eyes got so huge, and she had Tammy Faye levels of mascara on. She was wearing a nun's habit.”
“Oh! You're talking about the Dowager Sultana of Perawakâshe was wearing a hijab. She was fine, the soup hardly touched her. Don't worry, it was probably the most thrilling thing that's happened to her in decades.”
“Well, I appreciate your understanding, and I really must thank you for taking such good care of my daughters during that difficult time.”
“Don't mention it. Chloe and Delphine are lovely girls.”
Isabel paused for a moment and looked out the window at the view of the hillside park. It was apparent to Astrid that she was going through a spectrum of emotions. “Soon, you will be their stepmother. You'll be spending much more time with them, and I'mâ¦I'm actually glad they will have you in their lives. Not just their crazy mother.”
Astrid reached out and put her hand over Isabel's. “Don't say that. You've done such a great job raising them. You're their mother, and I'm not going to try to be any sort of substitute mother. I only hope that in time they will come to see me as a friend.”
Isabel smiled. “Astrid, I'm so glad we are having lunch together. I feel like I finally know who you are now.”
After lunch, as the two of them stood at the entrance of the Helena May on Garden Road bidding farewell to each other, Isabel asked, “What are you going to do now? Some shopping in Central? Can my driver drop you off anywhere?”
“Well, I'm leaving for Singapore in a few hours, but I'm going to meet with Charlie first. I think he's at the house, waiting for me to make some decisions about the decor.”
“The new house in Shek O? I'd love to see it sometime. After all, Chloe and Delphine are going to be spending half their lives there.”
“Of course. Actually, if you're free, why don't you come with me right now?”
“Ohâ¦wellâ¦I wouldn't want to intrude⦔ Isabel said hesitantly.
“No, no, I'm sure it will be fine. Let me just text Charlie.”
Astrid quickly shot off a text:
ASTRID LEONG:
Hey! Just finishing up with Isabel. It went GREAT.
CHARLIE WU:
I'm so glad.
AL:
Isabel would like to see the house. Ok if I bring her?
CW:
Sure, if you don't mind.
AL:
Of course not. See you soon.
“Let's go!” Astrid said, looking up from her phone. The two of them jumped into the back of Isabel's chauffeured Range Rover and sped off. As they made their way around the south side of Hong Kong Island, the landscape began to change dramatically as the dense skyscrapers that cascaded down the mountainside gave way to picturesque bays and ocean vistas.
The winding highway took them through Repulse Bay and its crescent-shaped beaches, hugging the coastline as they passed Deep Water Bay and the village of Stanley. Finally, they arrived in Shek O, a historic fishing village on the southeast corner of Hong Kong Island, which was also home to one of the world's most exclusive neighborhoods.
“Charlie's always longed to live here, but I would never let him. I prefer being closer to town. I could never live way out here in the middle of nowhereâI'm too much of a city girl,” Isabel remarked as they pulled up in front of an imposing metal gate with an attached gatehouse.
“There's no one there,” the chauffeur said.
“Oh, we don't have it staffed yet. Just enter 110011 into the keypad,” Astrid said, glancing at the instructions Charlie had texted her. The gate slid open silently, and they proceeded down the long driveway to the house. Rounding the corner, the oceanfront villa cantilevered on a rocky cliff came into view.
“This place is so Charlie.” Isabel laughed as they drove up to the imposing series of contemporary structures designed by Tom Kundig clad in steel, limestone, and glass.
“Your house on The Peak is more traditional, isn't it?” Astrid inquired.
“I'm not sure where you heard that, but it's classical Palladian, built in the twenties. I have it done in a French provincial style. I wanted it to feel like a manor in Provence. You must come over the next time you're back.”
“I've heard that it's one of the most elegant houses in Hong Kong,” Astrid said.
They stepped out of the car and entered a large courtyard dominated by a reflecting pool. Here the walls of the main villa were made entirely of glass, allowing for a seamless transition between the inside and outdoors. Entering the house, Astrid was once again taken aback by the spectacular ocean views from every vantage point in the house.
In the great hall, an immense window perfectly framed a tiny island just beyond the coastline, and stepping into the living room, a wall of windows opened onto the terrace, where an infinity pool ran along the entire side of the house, its horizon line melding into the South China Sea.
As Charlie came around the corner to greet them, Isabel graciously offered, “Charlie, you've outdone yourself. You finally have your dream house by the sea.”
“I'm glad you approve, Izzie. We're still quite a way from being done and we've just received the first big pieces of furniture, but here, let me show you Chloe and Delphine's private wing.”
After giving Isabel a tour of her daughters' rooms, the three of them entered the dining room, where an immense vintage George Nakashima dining table had just been delivered. Standing around the free-form structure that resembled an immense piece of driftwood, Charlie looked at Astrid. “What do you think? Is it too Pacific Northwest?”
Astrid considered the piece for several moments. “I love itâit goes great under the Lindsey Adelman chandelier.”
“Phew, I'm so relieved!” Charlie said with a chuckle.
Isabel stared up at the bronze light fixture that resembled blown-glass bubbles budding from the stems of an intricate tree branch, saying nothing. In her former life as Mrs. Charles Wu, she would have vetoed all of this, but now as the three of them headed for the front door, she simply said, “I do think Chloe and Delphine will love it here.”
“Well, you will always be welcome,” Astrid said, her heart soaring that Isabel was being so agreeable about everything. It had been such an unexpectedly lovely day. As they stepped outside into the courtyard, Astrid's phone pinged, and she saw four text messages suddenly pop up:
LUDIVINE DOLAN:
I went to pick up Cassian after school but found out that his father already got him.
â¦.
FELICITY LEONG:
WHERE ARE YOU? WHAT TIME YOU GETTING BACK TONIGHT? COME STRAIGHT TO TYERSALL PK! SO MUCH HAPPENING WITH THE HOUSE! WE NEED YOU!
â¦.
OLIVER T'SIEN:
Aren't you friends with Prince Alois of Liechtenstein? And that Poet Prince Fazza of Dubai? Can you connect us? Call me, will explain.
â¦.
LUDIVINE DOLAN:
Just spoke to Mr. Teo and asked if he needed me to help with Cassian but he wants me to take the rest of the day off. No idea what's happening.
Astrid put her phone back into her purse, suddenly feeling a bit sick to her stomach. Why the hell did she have to go back to Singapore?
BONDI BEACH, SYDNEY
“Are you fishing on your dock?” Nick asked when his father picked up the phone. He could hear the crashing waves along the seashore.
“No, I'm doing the cliff walk from Bondi to Coogee right now.”
“I love that hike.”
“Yeah, it's a good day for it. You know your mother invited Daisy, Nadine, Lorena, and Carol to Sydney? The whole gin gang's here, and it's such a toilet-seat-down invasion, I needed to get out of the house. The ladies are busy hatching some kind of plotâ¦I think involving Tyersall Park.”
“That's the reason I was calling, Dad. It looks like things are moving far too quickly with the house. Your sisters seem really primed to sell it to the highest bidder, and I don't even want to tell you what those developers have planned.”
“Does it even matter? Once we sell it, the new owners can do whatever they want.”
“But I feel like everyone's losing sight of the big picture,” Nick argued. “Tyersall Park is a unique property, and we need to make sure that it's preserved. I mean, I'm at the house right now, and even just looking out the window onto the gardensâthe rambutan trees are bearing fruit, and they are flaming red. There's nothing quite like it.”
“I think you're being too sentimental,” Philip said.
“Maybe I am, but I'm just surprised that no one else cares about this house in the way that I do. Everyone's just seeing dollar signs while I see something so rare that needs to be protected.”
Philip sighed. “Nicky, I know for you this house was like some never-never land, but for the rest of us, it was a bit of a prison. Living in a palace was no fun as a kid. I grew up with nothing but rules. There were so many rooms I wasn't even allowed to enter, chairs I couldn't sit in because they were too valuable. You have no idea, because by the time you came along, my mother was a very different person.”
“Yes, I've heard the stories. But surely you must have some good memories?”
“To me, it's just one gigantic headache. Don't forget, I was shipped off to boarding school practically as soon as I could walk, so it never truly felt like home to me. Now, even the thought of having to come back to Singapore to deal with all these property folks fills me with dread. Do you know how many ACS old boys have called me up out of the blue to invite me to lunch, to golf, all that nonsense? People I haven't seen in eons are suddenly behaving like my best friend because they can smell the money.”
“I'm sorry that's happening, Dad. But let me ask you something.” Nick took a deep breath as he prepared to make his pitch. “If I can somehow raise the money, would you consider leveraging your thirty percent stake and joining me and possibly Alistair to buy everyone else out? If you give me a little time, I know I can find a way to make it financially worthwhile for us to own the estate.”
The line went silent for a moment, and Nick wasn't sure if his father was upset or if he was just on a particularly arduous stretch of the hike. Suddenly he spoke up again. “If you care that much about Tyersall Park, why don't you handle this whole house sale? Do what you think is best. I'll give you permission to act as my proxy, power of attorney, whatever they call it. In fact, I'll sign over my thirty percent stake to you right now.”
“Really?” Nick said, not quite believing what he was hearing.
“Sure. I mean, it's all going be yours one day anyway.”
“I don't even know what to say.”
“Do whatever you want with the house, just keep me out of it,” Philip said, climbing along the edge of a beautiful cliff-side cemetery overlooking the South Pacific. “Nicky, I'm up at that cemetery by Bronte now. Will you make sureâ”
“Yes, Dad, you've told me many times before. You want to be buried there. You want to have a view of the humpback whales doing backflips for all of eternity.”
“And if they run out of lots, you'll find another ocean-side spot? New Zealand, Tasmania, anyplace but Singapore.”
“Of course.” Nick laughed. He hung up the phone and found Rachel staring at him curiously. “That sounded weird, from what I heard.”
“Yeah, it was one of the weirdest calls I've ever made. I think my father just gave me his share of Tyersall Park.”
“
WHAAT?
” Rachel's eyes got huge.
“He told me he'd sign over his stake, and I can do whatever I want as long as I leave him out of it.”
“What's the catch?”
“There's no catch. My dad has never been interested in financial matters at all. He really would rather not be bothered with it.”
“I guess when you've been born with it⦔ Rachel shrugged.
“Precisely! I still can't believe how easy it was to convince him, though. I thought I was going to have to fly down to Sydney and grovel on my knees.”
“With your father's share in your hands, you're the biggest stakeholder now!” Rachel said excitedly.
“No,
we are
. And this gives us the leverage to stall the bidding war and buy some time.”
“Do you want to go downstairs and break the news to your aunties?”
Nick grinned. “No time like the present.”
They left their bedroom and walked over to the drawing room where Felicity, Victoria, and Alix were all sitting, unusually silent.
“I have an announcement to make,” Nick said boldly.
Felicity had a peculiar look on her face. “Nicky, we just got off the phone. It seems we have a new offer on the table.”
“I have an offer to propose as well.”
“Well, this is a very unusual offerâ¦it comes from someone who wants to preserve the house entirely and not build a single new structure on the estate,” Alix said.
Nick and Rachel exchanged looks of surprise. “Really? And they are offering more than those Zion people?” Rachel asked dubiously.
“A great deal more. The offer is for ten billion dollars.”
Nick was incredulous. “Ten
BILLION?
Who on earth would want to pay so much money and
not
develop the property?”
“It's some fellow from China. He wants to come and see the house tomorrow.”
“China? What's his name?” Rachel asked.
Felicity frowned. “If I recall correctly, I think Oliver said his name was Jack something. Jack Ting? Jack Ping?”
Nick put his hand on his forehead in dismay. “Oh GodâJack Bing.”
KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA
“So, she is the queen?”
“No, Kitty, she is the mother of the current Sultan of Perawak, so she's the Queen Mother but she's called the Dowager Sultana,” Oliver explained through his headset microphone as they rode together in the helicopter.
“Ah. So I have to curtsy to her?”
“You certainly do. She's as royal as it gets. And remember, only speak when you are spoken to.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you're not allowed to speak to her. The sultana initiates the conversation and gets to do all the talkingâyou simply keep your pretty mouth shut until she asks you a question. And if you have to leave the room for any reasonâwhich you really shouldn't before she doesâbut if you feel the sudden urge to vomit, make sure to walk out of the room
facing
her. The sultana must never see your ass, so you are never to turn your back on her, understood?”
Kitty nodded diligently. “I understandâno talking, no vomiting, no ass-backing.”
“Now, as I said, I don't want you to expect too much today. This is just an introduction, and a chance for Her Majesty to become acquainted with you.”
“So you're saying she isn't going to give me a knighthood today?”
“Kitty, women don't get knighted in Malaysia. There is a whole different system of honors here. The sultana can bestow a title whenever she pleases, but don't get your hopes up that it's going to happen today.”
“You sound angry at me,” Kitty said with a little pout.
“I am not angry, Kitty. I'm just speaking over the chopper noise.” Truth be told, Oliver had been on the verge of a nervous breakdown ever since Kitty had delivered her ultimatum, and he was anxious for everything to go as planned today. He had way too much to lose if it didn't. Trying to placate her a bit, he continued, “I'm just trying to make you understand that these titles given by royals like the sultana are
real
honors. They honor truly deserving people who have done a tremendous amount of good for Malaysia over a lifetime. People who build hospitals and schools, who start companies that support entire towns and provide work to thousands of locals. These honors mean a great deal more than Colette's title. All she ever did was spread her legs for some posh dimwit.”
The helicopter swooped over the Kuala Lumpur skyline, passing the iconic Petronas Towers as it started to descend. “So this is where the sultana lives?” Kitty asked as she peered out at the exclusive leafy neighborhood of Bukit Tunku.
“This is just her little crash pad in KL for when she comes to the capital. She has residences all over the worldâa house on Kensington Palace Gardens, a villa overlooking Lake Geneva, and of course, the gigantic palace in Perawak,” Oliver informed her as the chopper touched down on the great lawn.
The two of them jumped out of the chopper, and a uniformed officer awaited them on the lawn. “Welcome to the Istana al Noor,” he said as he led them toward a humongous white palace that resembled a wedding cake. Entering through the front doors, Oliver and Kitty found themselves in a vast reception hall with nine gigantic pyramidal chandeliers that descended from the coffered gold-leafed ceiling like upside-down versions of the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree.
“This is her
little
crash pad?” Kitty remarked.
“Oh, you have no idea, Kitty. Her home in Perawak is twice the size of Buckingham Palace.”
They were shown into the drawing room, which had dramatic black marble floors and walls painted in a shimmering crimson hue. The space was filled with priceless Peranakan gilded wood antiques mixed with fantastical Claude Lalanne bronze furniture. Facing them was a vibrant pink-and-yellow triptych of Andy Warhol paintings depicting the Dowager Sultana in her younger days. “Wow, this was not what I was expecting,” Kitty said, clearly in awe of her surroundings.
“Yes, the Dowager Sultana was definitely a hell-raiser back in the seventies,” Oliver noted as they both sat down on a backless velvet settee. Next to the settee was a round Lalanne table laden with gold-framed photographs of the sultana posing with famous personages. Kitty peered at the pictures, recognizing the Queen of England, Pope John Paul II, Barack and Michelle Obama, Indira Gandhi, and a woman with an enormous pile of blond hair.
“Who is that blond woman? She looks so familiar. Is she some queen?” Kitty asked.
Oliver squinted at the picture and then let out a quick laugh. “No, but she is adored by many queens. That's Dolly Parton.”
“Ah,” Kitty said. Suddenly the double doors opened, and two honor guards in full-dress uniform entered. Flanking the doorway, they clicked their heels at attention and tapped the base of their long bayonets on the marble floor twice in unison. “We need to stand, Kitty,” Oliver suggested. Kitty quickly stood up, smoothing out the wrinkles on the front of her ankle-length Roksanda skirt and then adjusting her posture.
The guard on the right side shouted sternly, “
Sama-sama, maju kehadapan! Pandai cari pelajaran!
” They tapped their bayonets on the floor again, as the sultana swept into the room in a flaming violet silk kebaya, followed by four attendants. Her head was covered in a matching violet, blue, and white headscarf, and she resembled Queen Mary, covered in precious jewels from the waist up. Pinned in the middle of her hijab right above her forehead was an enormous sunburst diamond brooch with a forty-five-carat pink diamond in the center. On her ears were a pair of diamond-and-pearl girandole earrings, and around her neck were what appeared to be ten or twelve heaping necklaces of nothing but diamonds, diamonds, and more diamonds.
Kitty's jaw hung open at the sight of this Queen Mother ablaze in diamonds and she dropped to a curtsy so deep, Oliver thought she was doing the limbo. Oliver bowed smartly.
“Oliver T'sien, what a pleasure!”
“The pleasure is all mine, ma'am. May I humbly present Mrs. Kitty Bing of Shanghai, Los Angeles, and Singapore.”
“It's an honor to be in your beautiful country, Your Majesty,” Kitty blurted out nervously, before remembering that she wasn't supposed to speak first.
The Dowager Sultana pursed her lips and stared at Kitty for a brief moment, saying nothing. She sat down on a throne-like Bergère chair, and Oliver and Kitty took their seats again. An army of maids entered the room bearing gold-lacquered platters filled with Malay desserts and steaming pots of tea.
As the maids began serving tea to everyone, the Dowager Sultana smiled at Oliver. “Come, don't be shy! I know how much you love
ondeh ondeh
.”
“You know me too well,” Oliver said, helping himself to one of the bright green rice-cake balls stuffed with palm sugar and rolled in grated coconut.
“Now, what brings you to this neck of the woods today?”
“Well, Kitty has recently become enchanted with Malaysia, so since we were in town, I thought it only fitting that she meet this country's greatest living legend.”
The Dowager Sultana beamed. “Oh Oliver, you make me sound like a fossil! Tell me, child, what do you like about my country?”
Kitty stared at the sultana blankly. Until today, she had never set foot on Malay soil and didn't know a thing about the country. “Erâ¦wellâ¦I love the people most of all, Your Majesty. So warm andâ¦hardworking,” Kitty said, thinking of the half a dozen or so Malay maids that worked at Cluny Park Road.
The Dowager Sultana pursed her lips again. “Really? I was not expecting to hear that at all. Most people tell me how much they love our beaches and our satay. So do you intend to put down some roots here?”
“Well, if I can find a palace as beautiful as yours, I'd be very tempted.”
“Why thank you, but this is no palace. This is just a house.”
“Kitty's husband, Jack Bing, is one of China's premier industrialists. So they are highly interested in investing in Malaysia.”
“Well we do have such a wonderful relationship with China. And I do adore that First Lady of yours,” the Dowager Sultana said, picking up a piece of
ondeh ondeh
with her fingers and chewing on it slowly.
“Oh, you've met her?” Kitty said excitedly, forgetting royal protocol again.
“Why yes. I gave her an audience at my palace in Perawak. What an accomplished woman, and what a voice! Now, tell me, Oliver, how has your dear grandmama been since I last saw her?”
“Her health is excellent, ma'am. But I must confess her spirits have been rather low lately. As you know, my great-aunt Su Yi's passing has affected her greatly.”
Kitty, feeling bored, began to zone out on the photo of the sultana with Michelle Obama. She was trying to identify the designer of Michelle's red dress. Was it Isabel Toledo or Jason Wu? She felt sorry for the First Ladyâthat poor woman was obligated to only wear American designers.
The sultana continued to speak. “Ah yes, it was such a beautiful funeral. Did you not enjoy my son's eulogy to Su Yi?”
“It was remarkable. I did not know that the sultan spent a year living at Tyersall Park.”
“Yes, when he was doing a special course at the National University of Singapore, Su Yi was kind enough to host him. I'm afraid he found the Malay embassy accommodations to be lacking, and he was much more at home at Tyersall. You do know his great-grandfather was the sultan who originally built it?”
“Forgive me, ma'am, I had forgotten. No wonder he would feel a kinship to the place. If I might venture to ask, was Su Yi ever conferred with a title?”
Kitty's ears suddenly pricked up.
“To my knowledge, she wasn't. I believe in the 1970s the Agong
*
âwhoever it was back then, I've lost trackâtried to honor her, but she graciously turned it down. She was already Lady Young, and never even used that title.
Alamak
, what would Su Yi need a title for? There was never any doubt of her position. I mean, she already had Tyersall Park. What more do you need?”
“That's quite true.” Oliver nodded, stirring his tea.
“Tell me, Oliver, what is going to happen to that spectacular palace now?” the sultana asked, her brow furrowing.
“Oh it's anyone's guess. My cousins are entertaining an avalanche of offers. Every day I hear there's someone new coming in with an even higher bid. We're in the billions now.”
“I'm not surprised at all. If I was younger, I might have considered it as a home in Singapore myself. Of course, it will never be the same without Su Yi, but whoever ends up living there will be tremendously fortunate.”
Oliver sighed dramatically. “Sadly, though, I don't think that will happen. The house will surely be torn down.”
“Oh my goodness, how can that be?” The sultana placed her hand to her chest in shock, showing off her fifty-eight-carat blue diamond ring. Kitty's eyes followed the solitaire like a cat distracted by a shiny toy.
“The land is far too valuable. All the developers that have put in bids have ambitious plans for Tyersall Park, and I don't believe that would include the old house.”
“But what a travesty that would be! Tyersall Park is one of the most elegant estates in Southeast Asia. That rose garden, and the grand salonâsuch sophistication! Someone needs to rescue it from the greedy developers!”
“I couldn't agree more,” Oliver said.
Kitty listened to them with fascination. This was the first time she had heard anything about this old house.
“Well, Oliver, surely you know someone who will want to buy the estate and maintain it to the same standards as Su Yi did? What about that new Chinese duchess whatshername who's moving to Singapore to save the chimpanzees? I met her at the funeral.”
Kitty looked up from her tea in alarm.
“Um, you're referring to the Countess of Palliser?” Oliver said, glancing at Kitty uncomfortably.
“Yes, that one. Do you know her? She should buy the house. Then she would become the undisputed queen of Singapore!” the Dowager Sultana declared, popping another sweet coconut ball in her mouth.
After their audience with the sultana, Kitty remained silent during the helicopter ride back to Singapore. As she alighted from the chopper, she turned to Oliver and said, “This house the sultana was referring to, how much are we talking about?”
“Kitty, I know you heard what you heard, but the Dowager Sultana lives in a bit of a fantasy land. Colette would never buy Tyersall Park.”
“And why not?”
“I know my cousinsâthey would never sell the house to her.”
“Oh really? You said Colette would never be at your auntie's funeral, and yet there she was. You said Colette wasn't a threat, but then she bumped me off the cover of
Tattle
. I don't think I can believe anything you say anymore.”
“All right, I'll admit, I'm not the Oracle of Delphi. But there are some things that even Colette could not make happen. For one thing, there is no way she can afford that house.”
“Really? How much is it?”
“Well, I'm told the highest bid right now is four billion. And I know Colette doesn't have that kind of money on her own.”
Kitty frowned. “She doesn't, but she has a trust fund worth five billion. She can borrow against that trust if she really wants this house. And something tells me she does. She wants so desperately to be the queen of Singapore, queen of the fucking universe!”
“Look, Kitty, if it will stop you from losing your mind from this ridiculous rivalry, go ahead, try to buy the house. I'll even go to my cousins with your offer for you. But just so you know, in order for the Youngs to regard your offer as serious, you've got to come in with a bid that wipes everything else off the table clean.”
“So we offer them five billion.”
“That's not going to work. You have to realize something, Kitty: You are a
Mainlander
who's married to a mogul with a very big but very new fortune. You haven't yet gained the degree of respectability that these people value. If you want to steal Singapore's most prized estate away from its snottiest family, you've got to do it in a big way. You need to shock and awe them with your money.”