Riders (32 page)

“Gideon, look at this!” Sebastian lifted a guitar in the air. “Dare got it for us!”

A
guitar
?

And
Dare
?

What?

I told him I’d be right back, then I jogged to the hut and changed into a fresh shirt, wrinkled but mostly clean, and did a quick washup before heading back outside. There were two unclaimed stones around the fire on either side of Daryn, which was perfect. Exactly where I wanted to be.

I didn’t know what my plan was. All I knew was that something had to change. And I was pretty sure that I was the something.

“You’re going to like this, Gideon,” Jode said, flashing me a wry grin. “Sebastian here would like us to form a boy band.”

Bas was bent over the guitar, tuning it. For over a week, all I’d heard was wind, fire, our weapons colliding, or our voices. By comparison the guitar sounded clear and rich, like my hearing had just gone high-def.

He looked up, grinning at me. “Think about it, G! We can be the Fjord Horsemen!”

I laughed, and then listened as the guitar story came out. While I’d gone on my recon hike, Jode and Daryn had walked down to the tourist station. Daryn had struck up a friendship with the attendant there, a woman named Isabel. As they’d left, Daryn had convinced Isabel to give us the guitar, which some tourists had left behind.

“Isabel?” I asked, glancing at Daryn. That name sounded familiar.

She nodded, and then I knew. The Seeker she’d told me about, her friend, was close by.

“The guitar’s missing a string,” Daryn said. “That’s the only downfall.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Bas said. “It’s awesome.”

“I’m glad you like it.” Daryn tugged her sleeves over her hands. “I wasn’t sure if any of you played, but I figured it didn’t matter. If you practiced a little bit every day, you could learn. Or if one of you had some experience with musical instruments from their career, or as a hobby or whatever, maybe that person could teach the others, assuming his methods of instruction weren’t totalitarian and inflexible. Or just flat-out rude. And that the
other
people, who might also benefit from learning to play, didn’t interfere and create additional problems by being obstinate, negative, or easily discouraged. Anyway, I thought you’d all enjoy it.”

The four of us looked at each other. We’d just been gently but thoroughly dressed down.

Bastian started plucking a tune, stumbling as he adjusted to the missing string. The thinnest string was gone, I noticed. The one that should’ve been at the bottom. But he adapted quickly and his fingers moved faster, playing a song that was like a chase, the notes running up and down and back up. We listened in silence as he made five strings work together. Work together
really well
to create something complete.

We got it. We heard her message loud and clear.

Bas started up on another song. I wanted to keep listening, but I had something I needed to do first. “Daryn.”

She turned sharply to me, surprise in her eyes.

“Walk with me?” I asked.

She didn’t say a word, just stood.

We took a trail that went up the mountain, instead of the more familiar one to the practice area. My heart thudded as we walked. It’d been over a week since we’d been alone and I had a ton of things I wanted to say. I tried to get it into some kind of order.

We stopped when we’d reached a smooth ledge. The sound of the guitar was quieter in the distance, but still clear.

“Isabel’s here,” I said. “Something going on? Do we know anything new?”

“No.” Daryn crossed her arms. “She’s just reinforcement. She’ll be there to help, if we need it.” She paused, toeing at the grass. “I didn’t know she’d be there until I saw her. It was good to see her.”

I could relate to that. I’d wanted to look at Daryn for days without checking myself, or overthinking it. Now she was right here, and I went right into binge mode on it. I couldn’t look away from her. I’d missed talking to her. I just wanted to be around her again.

“You have such a knot on the side of your head,” she said. “When are you and Marcus going to … What are you looking at, Gideon?”

“You. I’m looking at you.”

Her eyes started to shine with some emotion that made my throat go raw.

“How am I looking?” she asked.

“Daryn, I—”

“Can we just hug first?”

“Yes.”

I pulled her in and held her. We stayed there, hanging on to each other until we’re both breathing steadier. I ran my hands up her back, into her soft hair. “How you doing, boss?”

“A lot better.” Daryn turned her head and burrowed against my chest. It sent a wave of sheer kinetic
yes
through me. “You?”

“Real good.”

In the distance, Bas started playing another song.

“Gideon, I’m sorry things got weird after Rome,” she said, looking up at me.

“No, I am. My head hasn’t been right.”

“I know what you’ve been dealing with. I know what they can do.”

“But it was still shitty of me—”

“But it’s my fault too. I shouldn’t have let anything happen between us.”

“You don’t think something’s happening between us?” I didn’t understand. Why were we standing there, with our arms wrapped around each other? “I mean, what’s this?”

“I don’t know.” She stepped back. “I think it’s us trying to find a way to be that’s less painful.”

This definitely wasn’t going where I’d thought it was going. I didn’t know what to do with my arms anymore now that she wasn’t in them. I stuffed my hands into my pockets. Reminded myself to make smart choices that I wouldn’t regret. “Tell me what you want,” I said. “Let’s start there.”

“I want to fall into you like I just did,” she said. “That’s what I
always
want. I want to fall into you and hold on, but I can’t do that. I’d just have to let go. I could leave tomorrow, Gideon. We’d never see each other again. I don’t want you to break my heart, and I really think there’s a potential you could. So let’s not make this harder than it already is. Let’s not create more history for me to miss when I’m alone again.”

I tried to figure out how I felt, hearing all that. Terrible. Crazy. Amazing.

“Okay,” I said. “I think I understand what you’re saying. You want us to suffer now so we’ll be less miserable later. I don’t think it’s going to work, but okay.”

She frowned. “Okay?”

I shrugged. “I’m not going to talk you into being with me, Daryn. And I’m not going to pretend I like your decision, either. But if you want to not create history together, then let’s do it. Let’s stand here, in the most stunning place I’ve ever been in my life, and share some completely forgettable experiences. I’m in, Martin. Totally in.”

“Are you being serious?”

“Yes.”

“So you’re okay with us just being friends?”

“Whoa, hold up. No.”

“
No?
I don’t understand!”

“I don’t want to just be friends. If this is the plan we’re going with, then I want to be
best
friends. Super tight, Martin. With handshakes, inside jokes, finishing each other’s sentences. The whole deal. And I’m not budging on that, so. Take it or leave it.”

I’d already passed on the
friends
option once. Not a mistake I was going to make again. I’d be whatever she let me be. Even if it was going to gut me.

She shoved me on the shoulder for messing with her, but her smile was huge. It killed me dead. Let the gutting begin.

“You suck,” she said.

“I don’t do anything by half measures. You know that, buddy.”

She shook her head, then launched herself into my arms and we hugged it out. It felt like no hug I’d ever had with a friend ever. Nothing about it did. This new status between us was already mighty interesting.

We hiked back down to the huts, talking the whole way but I had no clue what I was saying. Inside I was replaying everything she’d said. I was looking at her and thinking,
This amazing girl just told me she always wants to fall into me
. Why wasn’t it happening? I was trying to figure out how I could feel so damn good, but also feel like I’d had my ass kicked.

We got a lot of long stares from the guys as we walked up, but Bas was tactful enough to keep playing. I joined them around the fire, but Daryn went to the hut and came back with a blanket. She sat down on the same stone, right next to me, pulling the blanket over both of us like a really great, great friend. I was instantly sweating under it. Noticing her leg against my leg. The clean shampoo smell of her hair. Just noticing everything and frustrated beyond belief. But it was worth it because she kept smiling at me.

Sebastian finished a song, pushed his hair out of his eyes, and started up a new one.

“You’re pretty good on that thing,” I said.

“Thanks, G. I had to learn for acting.” I didn’t know how he was able to talk and play at the same time. It didn’t look easy. “You get an advantage when you’re up for a part if you have skills on your bio, so people take up all kinds of things, like tightrope walking and foreign languages and horseback riding.” He smiled. “I wish I’d done that last one.”

“What’s on your bio?” Daryn asked.

“Mine?” Bas squinted up, like the answer was written in the sky. “Well, a bunch of stuff. I took ballroom dance lessons for a year. I wasn’t very good at the tango or the foxtrot but I can kill it in the waltz. I speak Spanish, obviously. But I’m good at accents in general. I have a good ear, I guess. And I can play the piano. Better than the guitar. I have freaky long fingers. I also took a course in stunt fighting, and—”

“Stop,” I said. “Did you just say
stunt fighting
?”

He grinned. “Yeah. I’m certified in Dramatic Combat. It’s a twelve-week class where you learn how to make things like sword fighting and punches look real. I didn’t tell you this?”

I stared at him, trying to digest this new information.

“I don’t think he believes you, Bas,” Daryn said.

He laughed. “It’s true. I have a diploma and everything.” He stopped playing the guitar. “Stop looking at me like that, Gideon. It’s for the
movies
. So if I ever got a part that needed me to look like I could fight, I could pull it off. This is why I didn’t tell you.”

“I’m just trying to under
stand
. Like … you learned to play guitar for the movies, but you can actually
play
it. And you learned to freaking waltz, which I’m guessing you can also actually do. So what the hell happened? Why is combat the only thing you didn’t actually learn?”

“War appears to be taking this personally,” Jode said.

“Can you bloody hell blame me?”

Jode laughed. “No,
dude
. I can’t.”

“Maybe we could get some cameras up around here, see if it helps,” Marcus said, like a real contributing member of the conversation.

Bas grinned. “It would totally help. I crush when the cameras are rollin’.”

I nodded. “Now, that actually is true. Sebastian is to acting as the lions are to the Sahara. Top predator. Extremely capable.”

Jode and Marcus hadn’t heard about how I’d met Bas in the audition, so we told that story. Then we just kept going. We talked and listened to Sebastian play, as night fell around us. We stayed out there for hours, messing around. Finally
talking
. But I never lost sight of our situation.

The fire made me think of Pyro. The embers reminded me of Ra’om’s eyes. When I looked into the darkness, I imagined Alevar crouched there, huddled inside his wings. How much longer did we have?

It was past midnight when Sebastian put the guitar down. My eyes stung from the smoke and from being overtired, but the last thing I wanted to do was sleep. I kept waiting for someone to head into the hut, start the trend, but no one moved.

Our lighthearted fun was over. With the fire burning down and the shadows rising, this was the time for ghost stories or confessions.

Jode scratched his head. “Well, I’ll start,” he said. “Car wreck, for me.”

I instantly knew what this was. We all did.

“I was racing with friends,” he continued. “The sons of my father’s business associates, to be precise. Two of them whom I knew quite well. We hated one another. The road was wet, and … I lost control and struck a tree. I lost the race.” He was speaking in chopped bursts, like he wanted to get it over with. “When I woke in the hospital, I discovered this little bangle.” He lifted his left arm, his cuff shining in the dim light. “That was how it began.”

I felt like I was seeing him in a whole different light. Over the past week I’d ruled him out as a competitor, but his hesitation and fear of failing made sense now. Jode had wanted to win so badly he’d paid the ultimate price.

No one made any consoling comments. What was there to say?
Sorry you died, man.
Besides. We all had.

We sat and listened to the wind. We understood.

Then Daryn dug an elbow into my side.

“Ow—kay,” I said. “I guess I’ll go next.” Then I told them about RASP and my parachuting accident. As I spoke, I became conscious of Marcus. Usually he acted like he couldn’t care less what I was saying. Now he wasn’t just listening to me, he was focused.

“Was the parachute the problem?” he asked, when I’d finished.

“No. It was … just something that happened. Just a really rare set of circumstances. What’s even stranger is that it happened the exact same day my—” I caught myself, and looked at the firelit faces around me. It felt like a barrier moment. Was I going to trust these guys and tell them the truth, or not? Truth, I decided, and took a leap. “Because it happened the same day my dad died a year earlier.”

I wasn’t sure about the look Marcus gave me. Like he was seeing weakness in me. I didn’t need that. Suddenly I was worried I’d just made a bad move. Then Bas spoke, pulling my attention away.

“I drowned,” he said. “Strange, right? That it had nothing to do with food? Not what you’d expect from Famine.”

“But it’s still like you starved,” Daryn said. “It was for air instead of food. But it was still a lack.”

“Yeah. I guess you’re right.” Gratitude flashed across his features. He showed everything he felt on his face. “I was dead for almost five minutes. That’s what I was told. Everybody was pretty surprised that I came back. It was so weird to see everyone crying. It scared me so bad it made me cry, too. I bawled. It was a super-soaked experience all around.”