AJ popped open the top of his beer and sat on the edge of the hot tub. “Nice night.”
“Yes it is. Where’s Pax?”
“Inside, making us some snacks. Grange managed to call ahead and have the fridge fully stocked.”
“Pax cooks?”
“Pax cooks. It’s not steak, but it’ll do for tonight. I was hungry.”
Teresa turned around and saw Pax come out with a tray filled with . . . something. He set the tray down on the side bench attached to the hot tub.
“I made some finger foods. Easier to eat when you’re all wet.”
Chips and dips and sandwiches and vegetables, and suddenly Teresa was starving. She leaned over and started munching, and so did the guys. Before long, her beer was empty and AJ had replaced it with another from the cooler he’d brought onto the deck. Satiated, she sat back with her beer and smiled.
This couldn’t get any better. Well, yeah, it could. Because Pax and AJ were fully clothed and sitting outside the hot tub. And she knew why. She appreciated them looking out for her and taking things slow and easy, but she refused to be afraid to be in a hot tub naked with two guys she knew weren’t going to push her to do anything she wasn’t ready for.
“Why don’t you two get in here with me?”
AJ played with a lock of her hair. She’d put it up in a messy ponytail on top of her head before getting into the tub.
“Are you sure that’s what you want?” he asked.
“I’m sure that’s what I want.” She scooted to the far side of the tub and waited, ignoring the racing of her pulse and the too-fast beating of her heart.
Pax looked to AJ. “I think I’ll take this stuff inside. And I need to check in with Grange, let him know we’re here. You go on ahead.”
AJ nodded and turned to face the hot tub after Pax went inside. “You sure about this?”
She wasn’t sure about anything where men were concerned. All she was sure about was that she wanted to be normal again, to have some fun. “Get in the hot tub, AJ.”
His lips quirked, just like she remembered. “Yes, ma’am. You might want to avert your eyes, then, because I’m about to get naked.”
Now it was her turn to lift her lips. “Why would I want to avert my eyes, then?”
His smile died, and what she saw on his face was pure hunger. But she still felt no threat from him. She knew AJ, trusted him, knew she was safe with him, even naked together in the hot tub. He was one of the most patient guys she’d ever known.
He pulled his shirt off, and Teresa sucked in a breath at the wide expanse of shoulders and chest. He’d matured so well in the years since she’d seen him last. Gone was the lean boy she’d known. He was muscled and broad, with a wide chest and flat stomach, a smattering of dark hair on both. He toed off his boots and pulled off his socks, then undid the belt buckle on his jeans and pulled the zipper down, letting them drop to the deck. Teresa’s heart continued to beat faster, but it wasn’t fear driving that beat, it was pure, unadulterated feminine appreciation for the man who stood in front of her clad only in tight boxer briefs that did nothing to hide his beautiful body.
He pushed the boxers off, and she got only a brief glimpse of his magnificent cock before he slid over the side of the hot tub and into the water.
“Goddamn. You didn’t tell me it was going to be this hot. I’ll probably never be able to give a woman children now.”
She laughed. “It’s not that hot, you wuss.”
“It’s hot enough. I’m sweating in here.”
“Good God. I’ll turn it down.” She reached over to the controls and notched it down a few degrees. “Men are such babies.”
“Hey, I can take a bullet. Just not a thousand-degree hot tub.”
She rolled her eyes, and AJ laughed, stretching his legs out, his feet touching hers. He kept his gaze on hers, no doubt assuming one touch of his feet against hers and she was going to bolt and run like hell.
She couldn’t blame him for that, considering how skittish she’d been with him and Pax. Yet he pulled his foot back, draped his sculpted arms over the sides of the hot tub, and leaned his head against it, effectively withdrawing from her. Yes, he was in the tub with her, but he wasn’t
with
her.
“When will we head where all the other bikers are?”
“Tomorrow,” he said, keeping his eyes closed and his head resting against the hot tub. “It’ll give us a full day to check out the area, see where people are congregating and figure out the gang hangouts. Most people stay near the campgrounds or in the area in town where the vendors are. We’ll go there first.”
“Okay. And if we find the Fists?”
“You can look them over and see if you can spot the guy who stabbed Larks.”
“And if I do?”
“We’ll notify local authorities that he’s a suspect in a murder in Missouri. They’ll detain him.”
“And if they don’t?”
AJ smiled. “You ask a lot of questions.”
“I like to know all the details so I can plan ahead.”
He sat straight up. “You won’t be able to plan ahead for something like this. Whatever happens, count on it being unpredictable. If we can even find the Fists . . . and your phantom killer.”
“He’s not a phantom. I saw him.”
“I believe you. But there’s only a small chance he’s here.”
“Oh, he’s here all right. What a great place to hide out. The Fists . . . and this guy . . . have no idea what’s going on with the investigation back home. For all they know someone has fingered him for Larks’s murder, so they want to be as far away from that as possible.”
He shrugged. “We’ll see. Don’t be disappointed if we don’t find either him or the Fists here.”
“And I’m going to say ‘I told you so’ when we find them both.”
AJ laughed and stretched out his legs, brushing her feet again. He pulled back. Again.
Teresa frowned. “I’m not that fragile, AJ. You can touch me.”
“I don’t want to give you the impression I’m after something.”
She cocked a brow. “So you’re saying you don’t find me attractive?”
He rolled his eyes. “I think you know better than that. You know I want you. I’ve always wanted you.”
“You said you wanted me ten years ago, too. You used amazing restraint in walking away from me.”
“More than you’ll ever know. I didn’t want to leave.”
“But you did.”
“I was a criminal. I knew where I was headed and I didn’t want to take you with me.”
“How . . . noble of you.”
She sounded bitchy and knew it, but old hurts had arisen and she didn’t know how to shove them back down where they belonged.
“I could have fucked you that night. Hell, it’s what we both wanted.”
“Instead, you let someone else take what you’d waited years to have. Did you ever wonder who was my first, AJ?”
The darkness hid his eyes, but she felt the tension clear across the hot tub. “All the time.”
Maybe she wanted him to feel some of the misery she’d felt after he dumped her and left her wondering what it was that was lacking in her that caused him to walk away from something so good.
And what exactly was the point of dredging this up again? To hurt him? She’d succeeded. Or was she just trying to drive a wedge between them so he wouldn’t get too close? God knew she was famous for that, using any excuse to keep men at arm’s length.
Distance, always distance.
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Teresa. If there had been any other way to do it I would have. And I could have taken your virginity that night, but I already knew I was going to leave. And I wasn’t going to take you with me. So which would have been worse?”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about the past anymore, AJ. I’m the one who’s sorry. It was petty of me and I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
What had started out fun and light had turned deep and dark and miserable. She hated the damper she’d put on this evening, wished she could do something to lighten things up again.
AJ moved over to her side of the hot tub, occupying space on the same bench.
“I don’t mind being held accountable for what I did to you. I deserve every bit of what you throw at me.”
She tilted her head back to stare up into his dark eyes. “You did what you thought was right at the time. And I won’t deny that it hurt, but the sensible part of me understands why you did it.”
He touched her nose with the tip of his finger. “The sensible part of you isn’t what I hurt.”
“True enough. But we can’t go back and change what is. We can only look forward.”
He was close, but his body still didn’t touch hers. The heat of the water and AJ being so close reminded her why they were in this hot tub in the first place.
Time to leave all things in the past behind and move toward an uncertain future, and the only way to do that was to let go.
She scooted closer to him until their thighs touched, acutely aware that neither of them were clothed. Her breath caught at the contact, but she was more interested in what was happening with his body under the water than she was in her own reaction to being this close to a naked man.
There was no violence in this situation, and what had happened to her before hadn’t been about sex. The logical part of her mind knew this. It was time to get her body in line with what her mind knew. She wanted sex again, wanted to feel good and hot and have a man’s hands and mouth all over her and not think about that time five years ago.
She half turned, dragging one leg up onto the bench so she faced AJ. “Where’s Pax?”
AJ turned to her. “Inside.”
“Why?”
“Because we don’t want to overwhelm you.”
She cocked a brow. “Did you flip a coin?”
“No.”
“Oh. I see.”
“What do you see?”
“Look, AJ. I know you like me. We go way back. Obviously you’re the one stuck with babysitting the fractured woman.”
He snorted out a laugh. “Is that how you see it?”
She looked away. AJ tipped her chin to face him.
“You’re wrong.” He let go of her. “Hey, Pax,” he yelled. “Come on out here a second.”
Teresa grabbed his arm. “What are you doing?”
“Pax!”
Pax showed up in the doorway. “What? There’s a game on. Cleveland is up, bottom of the ninth and bases are loaded. This better be important.”
“Teresa thinks I’m the one out here with her because I pulled the short straw.”
She wanted to slide under the water until she drowned.
Pax shifted his gaze to her. “Is that what she thinks?”
“Yeah, that’s what she thinks,” AJ said.
Pax pushed off the wall and came over to the other side of the hot tub and kneeled down next to her. He slid his fingers to the nape of her neck and turned her head to face him. “Babe, you couldn’t be more wrong about that.”
He slid his mouth over hers and she gasped at the contact, the rush of heat, the unexpected flood of hunger that washed over her as his tongue invaded her mouth. This was no gentle kiss. It was need and desire and—oh dear God—he told her in that kiss that he wanted her. His fingers slid up into her hair to hold her steady, gently and yet with undeniable, masterful dominance, the kind a woman wants from a man when he’s kissing her.
When he pulled away, Teresa was slack-jawed, out of breath, and could only stare into Pax’s liquid chocolate eyes and wish he were naked and in the tub with her right now.
“I’m going to head to the store for a few things. I’ll be back later.”
He pushed off and left her with AJ.
TEN
OH, GOD. AJ HAD BEEN WATCHING. TERESA WHIPPED HER HEAD
around to find AJ studying her with a mixture of curiosity and desire in his eyes. She licked her lips, wanting to touch them with her fingers, but not wanting to give him the wrong idea. Her mouth tingled from Pax’s kiss. Hell, her entire body tingled, from her nipples to her pussy, which had fired to life in such a major way.
There’d been no fear in that kiss, only wonder and joy and need.
She wanted more, but she was also confused as hell.
“You liked that kiss?” AJ said.
How was she supposed to answer that? Honestly, she supposed. “Yes.”
AJ’s lips curled upward. “Good.”
She leaned back, studying him. “It doesn’t bother you that I kissed him.”
“Hell no. Watching you kiss Pax was hot.”
“I don’t know whether to be shocked or insulted or . . . something else entirely.”
He reached out and smoothed his wet hand over her hair. “Why would you be insulted?”
“Most men are possessive and jealous, wouldn’t want to see a woman they’re . . . with . . . being touched or kissed by another man.”
“Pax isn’t just another man. If it were any other guy, then hell yeah I’d be pissed. He and I have been friends a long time. There’s no jealousy between us.”
“Why not?”
AJ shrugged. “There just isn’t. What’s mine is his. What’s his is mine.”
“You share your women all the time?”
“All the time.”
“Why?”
“When we first joined the Wild Riders, he and I got close, became friends. We have similar tastes in women, so we found ourselves going after the same women all the time. And then we ended up with the same woman one night. And it worked out for us. Then it happened again, and it was something we both enjoyed, so why not?”
“And neither one of you gets jealous.”
“No. Why would we?”
“Obviously you’ve never been in love.”
AJ’s eyes went stormy gray. “Yeah, I have.”
Teresa looked away, then back at him. “That was a long time ago. We were kids then.”
“We’re not kids now.”
“You don’t love me now.”
She expected him to look away, to change the subject.
“I’ll always love you, Teresa. You were there for me when no one else was. You were the first—the only—girl I ever cared about. But that whole love and permanence and forever thing? I realized a long time ago it’s not for me. I can’t offer that kind of lifestyle to a woman. My job takes me everywhere. I’d never be there for the kids. And I’m not going to ignore my wife and have my children end up resenting me. Children should feel wanted and appreciated and loved.”