Risking it All (18 page)

could barely handle her fully clothed.

Half naked? It hurt to look at her.

“Bowen, please. I need something to

stop the hurt.”

The fact she didn’t even
know
what

she needed set off an odd burn in his

chest, but it also filled him with hot,

pumping anticipation at the idea of

showing her. “I know what you need, but

that’s not what I’m about to give you. I’ll

always give you
more
than you need,

Sera. Every time.”

He peeled the scrap of underwear

down her legs, his vision fraying around

the edges when he finally saw her

uncovered pussy.
Mine. It’s mine. She’s

mine.

Mine.

His

instincts

were

screaming at him to pin her down,

spread her open, and fuck her. But he

couldn’t let the urges win. After what

she’d given him, he owed her pleasure.

Still, this need to claim her in some

way had him reaching for his thinnest

paintbrush. He dipped it in purple paint

and brought it to her lower belly.

Knowing she couldn’t wait much longer,

he wrote his name quickly, but clearly.

Bowen
.

It

might

be

insignificant

compared to how he wanted to mark her

as his own, but it would have to do for

now.

He tossed the paintbrush aside,

blowing on the drying paint as he ran his

hands up the insides of her smooth

thighs. When they met at the sweetest

part of her, he ran a knuckle down her

seam to find her wet. His cock surged

against his belly, his body begging to be

inside her, to use the wetness to his

advantage. Instead, he pushed his middle

finger into her tight heat, groaning at how

little room he had to move it.

In the hopes that kissing her would

remind him to go slow, he crawled up

her body, sinking into a kiss as he

fingered her. “Let me ask you a question,

baby. What kind of dickless morons

have you been around your whole life

that not one of them made a play for you?

For this?” He added a second finger,

pushing a little deeper than before. “Not

that I wouldn’t want to end their

miserable lives for them right now if

they had.”

Finally, he’d loosened her up enough

that he could massage her G-spot with

his middle finger. “All-girls’ school,”

she gasped, her hips jerking off the floor.

“Do that again.”

Bowen obliged, keeping his fingers

working between her legs as his open

mouth skated across her cleavage. “You

like that, don’t you? I haven’t even

touched your clit yet.”

“Maybe you sh-should?”

“Not yet.” He moved back down her

body, his tongue licking a path along her

shuddering stomach, circling her belly

button. “My tongue wants the first

stroke.”

As soon as the words left his mouth,

he grew impatient to do exactly as he’d

said. Losing his battle to be gentle, he

shoved her thighs wide, taking a moment

to look her over. Memorize the moment.

Her back was arched off the floor, her

eyes on him wide and trusting, hips

shifting with the need he’d built with his

fingers. What had he called her when

they met? A stunner? How fucking

inadequate. He didn’t have words to

describe her. She glowed. She’d

somehow fallen out of the sky and

landed in this unworthy place, with an

unworthy man.

He threw her legs over his shoulders,

lowered his head, and took the first

delicious taste of her. Firming his

tongue, he licked up her center and went

right to work, worrying her sensitive

bundle of nerves. Fast, slow, fast, slow.

She liked it both ways, begging for one,

then the other. Her fingers pulled

frantically in his hair, making him even

hotter to get her off.

“
Bowen
. Don’t stop.
Please
, don’t

stop.”

He worked two fingers into her, never

pausing in the worshipping of her clit.

Already she was beginning to tighten up,

contracting around his fingers. One suck

of her nub into his mouth, a pinch of her

flesh between his lips, and she went

flying, screaming his name in a way he

knew he’d replay every damn day of his

life. He’d never seen anything like her,

the honesty that twisted her body,

blanketed her beautiful face. She

climaxed with every part of herself,

wringing each drop free as if it might be

the last time she experienced it.

Bowen had to laugh at that.

As soon as her thighs went slack on

his shoulders, he pushed them up,

bringing her knees even with her chest.

“More, Sera. I’ll always give you

more.”

His mouth didn’t stop until her throat

was too hoarse to scream his name

anymore.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Sera leaned against the kitchen counter,

eating a green apple and trying not to

stare at Bowen’s closed bedroom door.

Even after what they’d done together last

night, he’d retreated to his own room

after depositing her limp body in the

guest room bed, underneath her halo

where he claimed she belonged. His

behavior grew more and more confusing,

and while she should be focused on the

case and not examining his actions, she

couldn’t help it. His huge presence had

taken up permanent residence in her

mind, and no way could she shake him.

He continued to be honorable, sticking

to his guns and not sleeping with her.

Even the nuns at Holy Angels would

approve. She should be grateful. Really.

Even without sleeping with him, she’d

started feeling…an attachment to him. A

dangerous realization if she’d ever had

one.

She could hear her uncle now.
You see

all the good in people. Never the bad.

You’re too soft to be a cop.
The familiar

rhetoric was so ingrained in her mind,

she could hear his voice like he stood in

the room.

Originally, she’d justified coming to

stay with Bowen as a way to further her

investigation while finding out if he’d

played a role in Colin’s death. Yet here

she stood days later without even one

attempt under her belt. She’d become too

comfortable and she needed to step

back, view the situation objectively

again. Already this morning, she’d done

a quiet search of the apartment that

yielded no results. Not that she’d

expected much in the living area or guest

room, Bowen being smart enough to

keep

any

possible

incriminating

evidence somewhere safe. Away from

prying eyes. Where, though?

Sera pushed off the counter. It would

only take her five minutes to get to

Bowen’s car and back. She could clear

her head and cross one more searchable

location off her list. It had to be done.

After tossing her apple core in the trash

can, Sera pulled on a light jacket and

went to the door. Unlocking the dead

bolts sent three loud
clank
s echoing

through the silent apartment, making her

cringe. She held her breath and waited to

hear movement in Bowen’s room, but

nothing came. With a relieved exhale,

she gently pried the door open and

slipped into the hallway.

Hands tucked in her pockets, she

moved quickly down the sidewalk,

grateful

that

residents

in

this

neighborhood appeared to be late risers.

Most of the shops hadn’t rolled up their

metal gates for the day. The fewer eyes

on her the better.

Bowen’s car sat parked just around

the corner from his building. She only

felt safe taking five minutes to search,

knowing that Bowen could wake up any

moment. It wouldn’t be a pretty scene if

he found her room empty. Five minutes

wasn’t very long, especially when you

had no idea what you were looking for.

Or in this case, hoping you didn’t find.

Her brother’s case had been labeled

cold—
officially
, anyway—and it had

been years since his death, so she didn’t

necessarily expect to find evidence.

However, she
could
search for a link

between Bowen and Hogan. Weapons.

The one that killed Colin had never been

recovered.

Sera’s hands clenched inside her

pockets. What would she do if she found

something incriminating? As soon as she

asked herself the question, something

became glaringly obvious. She was in

deep
. Into the investigation, yes, but

even more so with Bowen. When

evidence was found, it went to the

department.

There
were
no other

options. In her case, it went to the

department and she vamoosed as soon as

she was sure Hogan was gone. And

she’d go alone.

Why did that make her feel so empty

now?

When she reached Bowen’s car, she

let the slim jim she’d found beneath

Bowen’s sink fall from her jacket sleeve

into her palm. She slipped the tool

between the car window and rubber

seal, making quick work of the lock.

Quickly, she popped the trunk and

retreated to the back of the car, pushing

the slim jim up her sleeve as she went.

Inside, she saw nothing. A brand-new

tire iron, a Brooklyn Nets sweatshirt.

She lifted the lining and felt around, all

the while praying her fingers didn’t

connect with anything except the spare

tire.

After her search yielded nothing, she

heaved a sigh of relief and skirted the

bumper to the front passenger side,

flipping open the glove compartment.

Clean. Not even a crumpled-up parking

ticket. No, wait…a folded-up piece of

paper tucked inside beneath the plastic

manual. The yellow edge jumped right

out at her because it was the only thing

out of place in the clean car, appearing

as though it had been stored in a rush.

She pinched the very corner and drew

out a yellow pamphlet, laying it on the

seat.

Her hand rose to her throat. The

church program. Bowen had kept it.

Along the bottom edge, he’d written

yesterday’s date in heavy script, circling

it once. Guilt swarmed in the air, before

swooping in to break right through her

rib cage. Guilt and…something else.

Maybe she hadn’t gone out there looking

for evidence against Bowen. Maybe

she’d been looking for something to

justify her desire to save him. God, she

wanted to. It had taken this gesture to

kick her in the ass. Make her realize

exactly how vital that additional mission

was to her.

Without searching the rest of the car,

Sera replaced the church program

exactly as she’d found it, locked the car,

and returned to the apartment. To

Bowen.

Bowen drew on his cigarette as he

watched Sera from across the street. She

removed the rolled-up newspaper she’d

used to prop his building door open and

slipped back inside with the grace of an

adorable cat burglar. When the door

closed behind her, some of the tension

lifted from his shoulders. Although he’d

suspected she would sneak out at some

point, watching her knowingly deceive

him bothered him more than it should. A

lot
more.

He’d walked into this with his eyes

open, knowing Sera would be playing a

part. It shouldn’t be driving him out of

his mind she hadn’t confided in him yet.

Why would she? They’d known each

other for four days. Did he honestly think

she would jeopardize all her hard work

on the chance he turned out to be a

decent man?

Hell, he wasn’t a decent man. He’d

been treading water before, but she

finally managed to drag him below the