“Oh, my lady,” I breathe. “She's beautiful.”
Mother stares at me a moment, her expression vacant, before averting her head.
“What do you call her?” I ask.
“It has yet to be decided.”
I think this is quite odd. “But she is three days old. What are you waiting for?” I ask.
“Oh, Tom.” She rolls onto her side, her back to me. “You know so little about this life. . . .” She draws in a shuddering breath. “This cursed life.”
I am moved to pity for this thin, defeated woman whose beautiful baby lies so near her. She seems so unhappy in her role. I furrow my brow in confusion as my eyes shift from mother to daughter. I thought this was what all women yearned for, that it was something as natural for them as longing for a sword is for men.
I approach the bed, daring to touch her shoulder. “Mum,” I say in soft tones, “shouldn't you name her? She shall be christened soon and it wouldn't do for her not to have a name.”
Mother throws an arm over her eyes. “Yes, yes, I shall name her. Do not worry. It's just . . .” She sits up, hugging her knees. Tears light her brown eyes. “It's just, Little Tom, to name a child is to give it meaning. To attach yourself to it. And He waits for you to become attached.”
“Who?”
“God.” Mother casts wild eyes about the room, as though God might leap out of the wardrobe any moment and smite her. I am caught up in her panic and find myself doing the same thing. Years later I would have laughed at my young self and assured him that of all the things holy and unholy to lie in wait for him, God would never be one of them.
Mother returns her gaze to me. “You see, He takes them then, Tom. The moment you open your heart, He takes them. Three of them are gone now; you are too young to remember. But I remember. They are in the cemetery. Their headstones have names.”
I am unsettled by her. She does not appear altogether well and I wonder if it would be prudent to fetch the midwife. I turn to the cradle once more. “This one seems strong and splendid to me, my lady,” I tell her. “I expect she shall be with us a good long while.”
At this the baby awakes and begins to fuss. I scoop her up in my arms, holding her to my chest. She is so warm and soft I do not want to let her go. I smile down at her crimson face as she howls her displeasure.
“Listen to that set of lungs!” I cry. “She shall be a force to be reckoned with, my lady, you shall see.”
Mother has covered her ears. “Fetch the wet nurse, Tom. See that she is fed.”
I take the baby to the buxom maid, who I must say seems quite perfect for her profession, and she is happy to relieve me of my little burden.
“Has the missus decided on a name yet, milord?” she asks me in her grating country accent.
I shake my head, heart sinking.
The nurse sits in one of the chairs, baring her breast without a thought. “I suppose it's in God's hands.”
God. I shiver. Wasn't I just looking for Him a moment ago?
The baby is eventually named by Sir Thomas, who settles on Alyss. I admit to feeling a special tenderness for her. As she grows, cooing and laughing and forming short sentences, I teach her to say my name. “Say Tom,” I tell her over and over.
“Tom,” she repeats, her round blue eyes filled with the unbridled adoration only a baby or a dog is capable of projecting. “My Tom,” she says again.
“Yes,” I say, picking her up and twirling her about. “I shall always be your Tom. I shall be your brave knight and protect you from all harm.”
But I cannot protect her from God. He takes her from me in 1483 when she is but two. A fever, a terrible scorching fire of the humors, consumes the soul of my little Alyss and she perishes.
Everyone moves on. Mother is with child once more. The baron curses my tearsâbabies are lost all the time, he tells me, and are replaced easily enough. Sir Thomas does not address the issue at all. So I have found a dual purpose for my helmet. Not only does it serve to protect me from blows to the head in practice, but I can also put it on and cry to my heart's content. When wearing my helmet, no one sees my tears. No one knows I cry.
The night my little lady is interred, I keep vigil by her headstone, her headstone that bears her name.
I wear my armor. I wear my helmet.
Two Bonny Lads
M
y Alyss is not to journey to the Lord alone. She is accompanied by our king, Edward IV. The baron carries his banner during the funeral procession and keeps vigil over his body that night, shedding tears and mourning with such conviction, one would have thought he had never spoken ill of him and that they were bosom mates.
This leaves the crown to twelve-year-old Edward V. His uncle Richard Plantagenet, Duke of Gloucester, is to serve as regent until the lad reaches his majority.
However, it is not a smooth transition and on the way to the coronation, Gloucester descends upon the party and arrests Anthony Woodeville, Earl Rivers, along with several others for their supposed conspiracy to assassinate the young king. For their protection, King Edward V and his brother Prince Richard are taken to the Tower of London to be supervised by my grandfather, Constable of the Tower.
On 25 June, Gloucester names himself king of Englandâhe is to be styled as Richard III now and installs himself at Westminster. My grandfather stood at his right as acting earl marshal. The baron's heirs will be named earls marshal by heredity, which means someday I will hold the title. Then came the honor my grandfather had yearned for as long as memory served. He is named Duke of Norfolk at last. My father is created Earl of Surrey. We are given many of the Mowbray lands along with properties that once belonged to Earl Rivers, who had met with the executioner's axe.
I wonder at this and decide to question the newly created duke about it on one of his brief visits home (I admit with delight that since the accession of Richard III, my grandfather's calls are few and far between).
“How can you be styled the Duke of Norfolk when Prince Richard already holds the title?” I ask, referring to one of the princes in the Tower.
Grandfather seizes my shoulders, shaking me till my teeth chatter. “Never mention that name to me again, do you hear me? Never!”
True to my nature, I cannot let it go. “But if they are in the Tower for their protection, they will be let out soon, won't they?” I ask in subdued tones. “When the danger passes? Why has he been stripped of his title?”
Grandfather averts his head a moment. He works his jaw several times before returning his deep black eyes to me. He draws in a breath. His voice is surprisingly calm. “You must not think of them anymore, Tom. They are . . . they are to be forgotten.”
“Why?”
He pauses. “There is a new regime now.”
I feel a rising sense of panic. Something terrible has occurred, something dark and evil that I should not pry into. But I want to know. I
have
to know.
“What happened to them, Grandfather?” I whisper in horror. “What happened to the princes in the Tower?”
Grandfather releases my shoulders. He regards his hands a moment, turning them palm up. They are trembling. “In life, Tom, there is a time when it is expedient to do things . . .” He shudders. His voice is a gruff whisper. “Terrible things . . . in order to survive. Survival, Tom; that is what it is all about. The Howards are to be allied to the Crown, no matter whose head it rests upon. We are climbing out of the ashes and will be great. But we cannot hesitate. We carry out our orders without question. We demonstrate our loyalty. We crawl on our bellies and sing their praises; we cavort with demonsâwhatever it takes. We will rise up to be the greatest family in the land. Play it right and not only will we be able to claim a royal past, but we may see one of our own sit the throne in the future. Do you see?”
I don't see at all. He evaded my question by launching into some abstract philosophical discussion of our rise to power through justifiable treachery and shameless flattery.
He leaves it thus and my curiosity is unsatisfied.
Perhaps it is better I do not know the part Grandfather may have played in this particular instance.
For the princes are never seen again.
A New Allegiance
I
n October my father and grandfather quell Henry Stafford, Duke of Buckingham's rebellion, which had arisen to support the Earl of Richmond, Henry Tudor, and resulted in the duke's beheading. As a reward we are given more lands, and Grandfather and Sir Thomas are steeped in favor and royal responsibilities.
On 22 August 1485, our brief interlude with peace is interrupted when Henry Tudor lands in Wales to launch another attack, resulting in the death of Richard III during the Battle of Bosworth. We learn Grandfather is also slain (I grudgingly seek the Lord's forgiveness for not mourning him) and a wounded Sir Thomas has been taken prisoner in the dreaded Tower of London. We fall at the speed with which we had risen. Our lands, all except Mother's Ashwelthorpe, are seized. Sir Thomas is referred to as the attainted Earl of Surrey. The dukedom of Norfolk is no longer in Howard hands.
And yet the new King Henry VII is merciful. Neddy and I are styled lords and called to court to wait upon him as pages. Not only this, I am to be betrothed to the king's future sister-in-law Lady Anne Plantagenet, daughter of the late King Edward IV. The white rose of York and red rose of Lancaster will be united through the king's marriage to Elizabeth, and I will be his own brother-in-law. I, Thomas Howard, brother-in-law to a king! It makes the thought of dealing with a female much easier. What is most important is that this new connection may one day free my father and restore the Howards to glory.
“Be warned, Thomas,” Mother whispers before we depart. “The king holds you as favored prisoners; if your father does not continually demonstrate loyalty even from the Tower, you shall be snuffed out without a second thought.”
I shudder at the thought, recalling the poor little princes in the Tower, other innocents snuffed out in the name of ambition. Neddy and I are of no great consequence to anyone and yet still find ourselves pawns. How much greater is the risk to our lives should Sir Thomas offend His Grace further?
I must serve the king, impress him with my loyalty and devotion. I must prove myself indispensable. For love of me, the king may spare my father. Grandfather, despite his own questionable character, did say that we are to ally ourselves to whoever is in power in order to survive. I believe I can see the logic in this with a little more clarity now. With me near, His Grace will see that we Howards are loyal, the most loyal servants he can come by. My heart swells with hope. Yes, that is what I will do. I will prove to this new king, this King Henry VII, that he can trust the Howards as he can his own God.
The court is maddeningâwonderful, dizzying. I am caught up and loving every moment. I sleep in the dormitory with the other pages and spend my days on errand for His Grace. I am Lord Thomas Howard, fancy that! It rolls quite nicely off the tongue.
There is always something going on, always work to keep me occupied. Henry VII is not the most personable of men, but I am not here to be petted. I am here to learn, and learn I shall. Henry VII is not a frivolous king. His wish is to keep a firm hold on his throne and oust any pretenders. He is a master of government, installing a King's Council, increasing taxes among rich and poor, and shipbuilding to strengthen the Royal Navy. He keeps a select number of Privy Councillors for his Court of Star Chamber in which he can deal with delicate matters of justice in a swift and efficient manner. His isn't a court of endless parties and needless expenditures. He is too set on rebuilding the royal exchequer. He is determined to make himself great and in this I am in sympathy with him.
The hardest lessons are learned in the dormitory. Pages are a rough group of lads and as I have remained quite small, an endless source of consternation, I find myself in many a quandary that only a combination of quick thinking, agility, and fisticuffs can rescue me from.
My energy is devoted to the dagger I have taken to carrying with me at all times. From every position conceivable I practice retrieving it, ensuring that I will be able to rely on the sleek blade no matter the circumstances. I weave it about, practicing that steady, certain upward motion that is the dagger's deadliest move.
I'll not let anyone get the best of me.
Of course they do try. I'd be a fool to think they would not. I am small and an easy target, but I meet them as a snarling badger would an unsuspecting rabbit and soon my reputation as a fierce and uncompromising opponent precedes me. There is no longer a doubt in my mind that I can be a competent and able soldier, that in hand-to-hand combat I can run a man through without faltering. It is a matter of us or them, after all.
“Aren't you afraid of
anything?
” asks Neddy one day.
I laugh. “And what is there to fear? God's body, Neddy, I've no time for that nonsense.” I shrug. “Fear stops you from everything. I've never heard of a coward rising to power. They remain a nobody.”
“But we're nobodies,” says my little brother.
I seize his arm. “No, we're not. We are the Howards. Our family's known success before and we will know it again!”
“You sound like Grandfather.” Neddy laughs.
I release his arm, stepping back, the fear I so condemn surging through me.
I do not want to sound like Grandfather.
I first see Anne Plantagenet at the king's wedding to her sister Elizabeth on 18 January 1486. We are to formally plight our troth this day and I have a little ring for her that was given to me by my father, who still passes his miserable existence in the Tower.
The ring bears no coat of arms, but I was able to scrape enough together to have an
H
and
P
interwoven in it to remind her that this is a union of the houses of Howard and Plantagenet.
I steal glimpses of her throughout the grand ceremony that is held at Westminster. She is looking at her sister and new brother-in-law, however, and does not glance at me once.
“She's beautiful, Tom,” says Neddy in dreamy tones.
I flush and look away, casting my eyes to the ring I am wearing on my middle finger. I hope it fits her. I hope she doesn't laugh at me and think it a cheap token. Were I in a better financial situation, I would have a beautiful signet ring designed, but such is not my present fate. She will have to settle for this.
At the wedding feast, we are presented to one another for the first time. My heart sinks when I note that she is taller than I, though the long tapering limbs that make up her arms and undoubtedly her legs suddenly take on a new appeal I hadn't thought to appreciate when first learning of our betrothal.
She is beautiful with her rose-gold hair and soft green eyes that bespeak nothing but gentleness. Her cheekbones are high and well sculpted, her nose long but not unattractive. Her mouth, though not full, gives itself over to a wide, eager smile, revealing a row of straight white teeth.
The king and his new queen-consort oversee the formalities themselves, the queen ever doting to her sister, rubbing her back as she introduces us.
I cannot look the girl directly in the face as I pull at the ring that has decided to make its home on my middle finger. My slim fingers seem as though they have expanded to three times their size in the last two minutes, and my hand trembles as it works at the stubborn piece of jewelry. At last it gives and I offer a grunt of surprise.
The princess laughs.
I keep my head bowed, holding out the ring. “Here,” I say, unceremoniously. “I plight my troth.”
“Lord Thomas,” remonstrates the queen in good-natured tones, “aren't you going to place the ring on her finger yourself?”
I look at the princess through my lashes. My heart is racing. Truly I believe facing an army of Scots would be easier than making physical contact with this one maid.
Lady Anne offers me a delicate hand. I cannot help but admire the daintiness of the long slim fingers as I slide the ring on.
“You have perfect fingers for the virginals,” I find myself saying.
I look up at her then. My nervousness recedes like the tide; calm surges through me as warm as wine. Everything about me fades, obscured by the light of her face, that sweet, beautiful face. I do not think that I am fourteen, with fickle fourteen-year-old passions. I think of her.
And love her. Just like that.
And just like that, with our hands joined here at Westminster among a bustling court before a jubilant king and his bride, I know she loves me, too.
My father is pardoned and released in 1489, returning home a different man from the one who entered the Tower three years ago. He is harder, darker, proving with his short temper and ruthless management of his household that he is indeed his father's son.
He is styled the Earl of Surrey and allowed to keep the lands in his wife's inheritance but none from his father's or the Mowbrays.
He is certain to unleash his bitterness at being withheld the title he covets with as much longing as his predecessor, that of the Duke of Norfolk. I, for one, think he should be grateful to be alive, but I suppose he isn't dwelling on that now. I imagine that he figures since he is alive he should receive what he considers his due.
The king tests his loyalty by sending him to Yorkshire to quell a rising there. Lord Surrey wins the day. As a reward, His Grace grants him the Howard lands he had still retained.
All of this I take in with interest, being that my father's elevation is equivalent to my own. However, there is more to interest the lads at court than advancement and soldiering. The fair sex has entered our awareness. We watch them, these gentle daughters of Venus with their curves and long, lustrous hair, their soft voices, their perfume, their graceful, fluid movements as they dance . . . and are seized by fever. Suddenly, there are not enough whores to be visited, not enough maidenheads to deflower. I join in, always one to participate in sport of any kind. Besides, I am to be married soon. I must know what to do. And so I learn.
No sooner do I become a student in the art of love than I become enslaved by it. The gangly girl I met when plighting my troth has returned to the court of her sister a beautiful woman, and my love for her is rejuvenated the moment our eyes lock. When not engaged in my duties I court her with all vigor. Together we stroll in the gardens. She plays for me upon the lute and the virginals, lifting her sweet voice in song, and I close my eyes, trying to emblazon in my mind and heart every note, every sound, every nuance that is this girl, this girl I have come to adore and love with every fiber of my soul. The strength of this emotion terrifies and excites me; like wine I drink it in but remain insatiable. All about me is the growing need for Lady Anne, my princess, my forever love.
To impress her I try my hand at poetry and fail miserably. She laughs that soft laugh that resembles the gurgling of a streamâhow the sound intoxicates me!âand strokes my cheek, assuring me I need not impress her with flowery words.
“All I need,” she tells me, grasping my hands, “all I could ever want, is you, Lord Howard.”
On 4 February 1495, I stand in Westminster Abbey; she has me. Hands entwined with my bride, my princess, we stand before the Archbishop of Canterbury and are wed.
She is still taller than I, almost too tall for what is comely, but it is a trait I will excuse. I make up for my own lack of height in muscle and after we are led to our wedding chambers that night by giggling courtiers who see us to our bed with all manner of crude jokes befitting the occasion, the princess seems duly impressed.
Our settlement is the most pathetic thing a bride and groom of our illustrious station have ever seen and I cannot contain a sigh of dismay when I learn that the princess and I will be living on nothing but the charity of our relatives. We are penniless and it is seen to that we will remain so until my grandmother, the Dowager Duchess of Norfolk, passes on. With my luck the cantankerous old bird will live forever.
The queen provides for her sister in the manner she sees fit, and my princess is given a household of two ladies, a maid, her own gentlemen and yeomen, along with three grooms. She is also given twenty shillings a week for food and a promise that the proper gowns will be provided.
My father allows us use of his residences at Lambeth and Stoke in Suffolk and when I ask my princess where the best place to start our family would be, she blinks back tears.
“Stoke, my lord,” she tells me in her soft, husky voice. “The country. Far away from court.”
“Then we shall remove to Stoke,” I tell her, taking her dainty hands in mine. “And there I will be your goodly and devoted knight and will love you till I die.”
This passionate display sends her into a deep flush and she bows her head. My God, she is a beauty! I cannot believe she is mine.
I find I am relieved to depart from court as well. I am not a born courtier. I am as yet unskilled in the art of empty flattery. I know my calling and that is to arms; should the king need my service, he is assured that I am ready to prove my worth as his loyal and able defender.
We set up our meager household and I find it isn't altogether bad to be poor (though I will seize every opportunity to reverse my fortuneâI'm not an idiot, after all). My princess is quite competent and demonstrates a keen ability for frugality. She is formal; I imagine being raised at court has instilled this in her and as a result she is not given to initiating demonstrations of affection.