River Road (River's End Series, #4) (28 page)

“How come you never watched this at the ranch?” Kate inquired.

Cami shrugged. “I don’t know.”

That was part of the problem; the girl didn’t know, nor was she comfortable anywhere.

A hard, impatient knock at her door brought Kate to her feet.
AJ.
Kate slid the deadbolt and swung the door open. He rushed right past her, harried with worry as he entered the room before stopping dead when he found Cami calmly sprawled in a chair, her legs swinging to the rhythm over the armrest. She had even smiled a few times over the last hour while educating Kate about
her
music. Her outright laughter at Kate would have been insulting if Cami weren’t so shocked at Kate’s apparent interest.

However, there was nothing fun about how AJ looked. His expression went from haggard to furious. Cami’s easy sprawl in Kate’s apartment made AJ lace his hands behind his neck as he shook his head. His temple throbbed and his neck muscles strained. “What the hell were you thinking? Do you have any idea what we went through? We had the police looking for you. Every person who lives or works at the ranch, along with about a dozen neighbors, are scouring the area. They were preparing an Amber Alert for you. A half dozen people saw you get on the school bus, only to get off in Patterson, where you don’t usually, before you got into a car with a stranger. They had the entire city nearly shut down, stopping drivers, until I called with the news that you’d run off to my girlfriend’s house. But even then, you had no fucking idea where Kate lived. And no way to find her. What did you think you were going to do when you got here? Huh? Just get off the bus and start walking? It’s not River’s End. Do you know what could have happened to you?”

AJ was shouting and pacing, his hands fisting the more worked up he got. Kate had never seen AJ react to anything, let alone with any kind of passion like this. She’d never seen fear on AJ’s face either. So much, it practically emanated off him. He moved towards her and said, “Do you have any idea the things I was thinking might’ve happened to you?”

Cami’s gaze widened, and dropped. She stared down at her black fingernails, which she picked at. The cuticles were shredded and she picked at white shards of dead skin. Ruthlessly, she pulled bits off. “It was only a few hours,” she replied, but her feeble response merely incensed AJ all the more.

“Only a few hours? That’s all it would take to lose you forever. For you to get kidnapped or taken or lost or taken advantage of… Dear God, you’re just a little girl, do you know the things that could happen to you in
just a few hours
?”

AJ’s eyes would have sparked flames if they could have. His hands rested on his hips, and his legs stood in a wide stance, making him look more powerful. Almost like the Incredible Hulk about to split his shirt. His muscles were straining and he seemed so intimidating, unlike he ever appeared before. Cami pushed into the cushion of the chair, biting her lip.

Kate stepped behind AJ and touched his back. “You’re scaring her.”

“Good! Maybe she’ll listen for once. Maybe she’ll understand that her actions affect others around her. And at thirteen years old, she doesn’t get to go across a strange state, to a strange city, where she is all alone and vulnerable.” He wiped a hand over his face. “Dear God, the things I’ve worried about happening to you.”

They were the same fears that ate away at Kate the moment AJ told her Cami was gone. Being unsupervised and lost since no one knew she was actually okay were the same concerns Kate believed her parents would have had about her. Good parents worry about their kids.

Cami wasn’t Kate’s kid; at this point, she was barely AJ’s. Only AJ’s biologically speaking, since they didn’t really know each other.

But their feelings were very real, Kate realized; and in the same way, Kate was beginning to think that was also happening between AJ and her. The feelings were there, but there was no time or opportunity to fully get to know each other. Time, of course, could render a solution to that.

Cami’s small chest rose and fell quickly. She gripped the edges of the armrest, her fingers turning white. Taking a deep breath, she muttered, “You don’t care what happens to me! You don’t even know what to do with me without
her
around.” The
her
was spoken with disdain as she narrowly glanced at Kate. Yet Kate didn’t for a second believe Cami said it out of anger towards her, but rather, longing. Kate sighed heavily as her stomach clenched.

These two lost souls needed her. And strangely enough, she was starting to need them. But it was happening too soon. All so soon. There was so many miles between them, and so many other road blocks.

Except there was a little girl in the middle of it all.

AJ’s massive shoulders that were so brazen and aflame with indignation, anger, and worry a few seconds before simply wilted. His head dropped in complete defeat. He turned and staggered to Kate’s couch, slumping down. “I care what happens to you. Why do you think I had the police scouring the entire valley for you? Did you really think you could run away without me searching for you?”

She shrugged. “Dunno. Did it before and no one looked for me.”

He closed his eyes, a deep, weary sigh escaping his lips. “I’m not anyone, Cami. I’m your father.”

“No, you’re not! You didn’t want me.”

“No, you’re wrong. I didn’t know about you. Those are two entirely different things.”

“You don’t like the daughter you got. You want me to be all cute and bubbly like that—that Marcy girl or something.”

“Well, Cami, you’re wrong again. I never wanted a daughter or began to think about children before the day I learned about you, so you’re in luck, since I had no expectations of what I wanted. Not a one. My mind was a blank slate just waiting for you to step into it and be yourself.”

Kate stood back and touched AJ’s shoulder from the side. “Cami, could you give us a minute?”

Cami scurried into her room.

“She didn’t run away to hurt you. She ran away to prove something. She wanted to see if you’d come after her. If you’d care. If there were any reason she should try to live with you. Did you stop talking to her after I left?”

“I tried, but she doesn’t answer me. She doesn’t talk to me. What am I supposed to do? So I… guess, maybe, I did.”

“You keep at her until she responds. Question after question. She’s not getting along well at school.”

“What did she say?”

“Something about the ‘bitches talking smack’ about her. But I take that to mean she’s not blending in well. She isn’t the typical student at River’s End, judging by what I’ve witnessed. She hoped she’d fit in here, or at least, find a segment of the school’s population that accepted her. But mostly, AJ, she needs you. She needs to trust you’re going to stick with her no matter what she does. If you feel that strongly.”

“I do.”

“Then find a way to tell her. I can’t tell her for you. Maybe don’t scold her so much now. Maybe just talk to her. I think she was looking for an opening and this could be it. This is her letting you in. So listen.”

He nodded, staring at his feet. “So I should talk to her?”

“Yes.” Kate went to her room and sent Cami out. Then she leaned against the bedroom door, her heart hammering. She hoped she was advising him correctly. She should give them privacy… but it was
her
apartment. And she could not bear waiting to know what happened. She kept the door cracked and leaned in to listen and peek at them.

Cami sat back down, slouching her posture and not caring. But Kate knew how she felt. And it was just the opposite.

AJ straightened up and squirmed while sitting on the edge of the couch. Then, clapping his hands together between his legs, he stared at them and said, “So, I won’t yell. I’m sorry. When I got here… I was terrified. I couldn’t calm down right away.”

“You only cared that a person might be hurt. Not me, specifically. I know the difference, AJ.”

He nodded his head slowly. “You’re a smart girl.”

“There’s nothing you can do that I can’t handle.”

“I think there’s a lot I could do that you actually can’t handle anymore.” He paused. His back rose and fell with a big breath. “Look, Cami, I didn’t ask for you, and I was honestly stunned by your existence. I don’t know you and you don’t know me. But… that could change. We could work it out. All I can tell you is that you are mine. That is a fact. And nothing can take you away from me again. Consider me your armor against the world.”

Her head started to slowly rise, and her eyes were solemn and untrusting. She tilted her head at an odd angle, but didn’t believe him, although she was dying to.

“I can’t offer you Seattle, and I know this city would fit you better. I realize that. I’m sorry, but as you can see...” He waved a hand at himself. He was sitting on her couch in ripped, dirty jeans, having raced to find her from the fields, and a stained t-shirt with his usual, dirty, white hat. “Seattle doesn’t fit me. I don’t have a lot of money. I only have a dumpy old trailer that I rent. But I have a job, and I always will. I also have strong back and I know how to use it. You’ll never be hungry, or go without whatever you need. I swear to you I will do everything I can to earn a good living so that you can have whatever you want. It might take me some time, but I will find a way. I will never let anything or anyone hurt you, never again. I’ll sleep on the couch of that place I looked at, and you can fix up the bedroom any way you want. All I can offer you is me, but you’ll have me in every way you need until the day I die. I will do anything I can within my power. I know I’m not enough. I’m not smart or successful or interesting or cool or whatever, but I’ll be there, every single day, every single night, and no one and nothing will ever harm you under my care. I don’t drink, or do drugs, and women will not be coming and going. Kate was the only anomaly.
You
are now my priority. You will be the sole focus of my life. I’m rotten at knowing the right words to say to you. I don’t know much about little girls, I mean teenagers… but I’ll learn. I swear to you, I’m not stupid or an imbecile, I can learn it all. Everything you don’t like about me, I can change and learn to be exactly what you need. You just… you just have to give me a chance.”

Kate closed her eyes, but the tears ran down her cheeks. She wiped them, keeping the sudden knot that lodged in her throat quietly suppressed. She silently pleaded with Cami, mixed-up, screwed-up, distrusting, alone, sad little Cami to give AJ a chance. Hearing AJ formulate that plea as a vow, and a commitment, and a promise made Kate’s heart twist in agony for him. She wanted to scream,
all he had to offer?
He was so much more than any other man. What he had to offer was
everything
. It wasn’t his location, his house, his portfolio, or his career. No, it was his heart, his soul, his integrity, and most of all, his love. It was all there inside him, just below the surface of that quiet nobility. He kept thinking he had nothing significant to share with anyone, or if he tried, they wouldn’t care. That was AJ putting himself on the line. There had never been anyone to even play the game with him. Kate closed her eyes, tears still brimming as she flattened her back against the wall and nearly slid to the floor.

Yes, AJ, I will give you a chance
… Kate wanted to burst out of the bedroom and scream that before jumping into his arms. She didn’t want AJ to spend another day alone and thinking, what? That he wasn’t quite good enough. Not quite. Because he’d never been enough for anyone else. But he was for Kate. She knew he didn’t want her for her location, condo, portfolio, or career either, but only her heart, soul, integrity, and love. She realized that now. This man, who crossed the state in a panic of fear; the strong, bull-like man whose personality was so unthreatening, had so much fear building up over the loss of a daughter he didn’t know. Kate fisted her hands and gasped.

Love
. Kate offered love to AJ, and she believed he had as much to offer her. But. Cami. She was part of him, and therefore, part of
them
. It was so much to deal with at once. But Kate’s heart was twisting as it swelled with passion. The desire to intervene was strong enough to place her hand on the door’s edge, ready to pull it open. But it wasn’t about her anymore. It was about a little girl, and that would always be.

Kate realized she could handle it in a sharp twist in her chest. She could handle Cami. She could handle River’s End. She could… and they could.

She nodded with pride as if someone were there to see and agree with her. They could do this. Together. Her sense of relief was deep and strong, but first, Cami had to give AJ a chance.

Cami’s voice was small when she said, “I was scared of you.”

AJ jerked upright, obviously surprised by her response. “Why?”

“You’re so huge. I was scared of what you could do to me, if you got mad.”

“I won’t hurt you. I’m here to protect you. My huge size will protect you from most everything. But I’ll never use my size against you, or to hurt you.”

“You really got upset that I was gone today?”

“I was terrified.”

Silence. Kate peeked through the slat in the door. Cami was staring at her fingers in her lap. Several long minutes of silence elapsed while AJ was perched as if waiting to leap off a cliff, when Cami finally said, “I could give you a chance.”