River's End (9781426761140) (30 page)

Read River's End (9781426761140) Online

Authors: Melody Carlson

“I think it's an excellent idea,” Anna agreed.

“I thought I could figure out where things are and look at the dormitory.” Sarah frowned. “But I know this is a busy time of year. And I don't drive.”

“When did you want to go?” Clark asked.

Of course, Sarah wanted to go to Eugene on the same weekend her mother had proposed to visit. Anna knew this wasn't a coincidence. Even so, she reminded her. “And I'd really like to meet him.” Anna smiled at Clark. “Lauren sounds so happy. I think this guy must be pretty special.”

“I'd like to meet him, too,” Clark said.

Sarah got quiet now, looking down at her plate.

“But I'd be happy to drive Sarah to see the U of O,” Clark told Anna. “Although I don't like being away for the whole weekend. Not this time of year when we're so busy.” He turned to Sarah. “How about if we made it just a day trip? Maybe on a weekday.”

“But I wanted to be there on Saturday so I could see Saturday Market, too. I went to it years ago, and it was so cool.”

Clark looked stuck. “Well, I don't mind going on a Saturday. What do you think, Anna?”

She smiled. “I think it sounds like fun. I wish I could go, too.”

“Then do come,” Sarah urged her.

Anna laughed. “I can't very well take off when Lauren is bringing her friend to visit.”

“You think I'm rude, don't you, Grandma?”

Anna studied Sarah, trying to think of a kind way to put this. “I just think you're still hurting, and, well, I wish you could move past it. For everyone's sake.”

Sarah pursed her lips.

“Some wounds take more time to heal,” Clark said gently.

“You're right,” Anna agreed. “I just look forward to the day when we can all gather happily together.”

Now Clark changed the subject, telling them about how Johnny Johnson had made a woman friend in town. “She works at the café, and I could tell she'd caught Johnny's eye from the get-go. Her name is Margie, and she's got bright red hair, you know the kind that comes from a box. But she's pretty nice and seems to like Johnny. Problem is if we're anywhere near town, Johnny will suddenly get the urge for a piece of chocolate cream pie.”

Anna resolved herself to Sarah and Clark being gone on the Saturday when Lauren and Brad were scheduled to come. The upside was that since Clark left the boat in the dock in town, Lauren and Brad were able to take it upriver with them. They were supposed to arrive at the inn just in time for lunch. And since it was such a nice day, Anna decided to serve lunch on the upstairs deck outside. Thanks to Clark and Johnny, she had made a big Crab Louis salad and was just setting a vase of
wildflowers on the table when she heard the boat coming into the dock.

Anxious to see Lauren and curious about her new friend, Anna hurried down the stairs to greet them. Lauren was beaming and looking better than ever as an attractive man with longish straight hair helped her off the boat. Dressed casually in jeans, a faded Hawaiian shirt, and sandals, he seemed comfortable in his own skin. Lauren quickly introduced Anna to Brad; and Anna could see why Lauren thought he seemed “familiar.” With his dark hair and eyes, he could easily pass for Anna's son. In fact, he looked more like Anna than her own daughter did.

“This is a beautiful place,” he told Anna as they walked up to the house. “It's no wonder you're fully booked.”

She thanked him. “And I'm sure Lauren will give you the full tour after lunch.”

“You should've seen this place before Mom and Clark went to work on it,” Lauren said as they went upstairs. “It's been an amazing transformation over the years.” She grinned at Anna. “It just gets better and better.”

“This is great. Really pretty.” Brad nodded at where the lunch table was laid out with the good china, linens, silver, and flowers. Now he turned to look at the river. “What a view!”

“Brad is an artist,” Lauren said proudly. “A very talented bronze sculptor.” She went on to tell about some impressive places where his pieces were being shown.

As they sat down, Anna asked about the subject of his sculptures.

“Nature,” he told her. “Mostly animals. A few people.”

“Brad's mother is Native American,” Lauren told Anna.

“I wondered about that,” Anna admitted. “Do you mind if I ask which tribe?”

“She's mostly Paiute. She grew up in Warm Springs,” Brad explained. “But she moved off the reservation when she married my dad. I used to feel cheated by that—not living on the rez, I mean.”

“How so?” Anna passed Lauren the salad.

“Well, Mom would take me to visit sometimes. And she has all these relatives and the kids there seemed to have so much freedom and there were horses to ride and the river and streams. I'd have such a great time that I was always unhappy when it was time to go home, back to our cracker box house in the 'burbs.”

“I can understand how you would miss that sense of community,” Anna said.

“I did.”

“But you could live there now if you wanted, couldn't you?” Anna asked. “On the reservation?”

“I actually tried it for a while when I was in my twenties. Turned out it wasn't the same. A lot of good folks there, but some sad dysfunctions, too. I'd moved there thinking it would be idyllic . . . an inspiration for my sculptures, but I found I got distracted from my art when I was there. I'd get caught up in some of their problems . . . and then I started drinking and that was a disaster.”

“I see.” Anna passed the basket of rolls to him.

“I finally realized that for my own health, as well as for my art, I had to leave. But I go back to visit sometimes. And I've taught workshops at the school.” Now he asked Anna about her own family and the Siuslaw heritage. She could tell he wasn't just making small talk but that he was genuinely interested.

“My stepfather's mother saved a bunch of our stories,” Lauren told him. “You still have them, don't you, Mom?”

“Of course. And you're welcome to take copies if you want to read them.” Anna smiled, thinking of how little interest Lauren used to have about these things.

“I'd love to read some,” Brad told her. He gazed out toward the river and just shook his head. “This is really a magical place. I can feel it.” He turned to Lauren. “I can understand why you miss it so much.”

“It took me a long time to fully appreciate it,” Lauren admitted. “But it really is special.”

After lunch, Lauren gave him the full tour, and they even took out a canoe. Brad seemed to be even more enchanted when they went down to the dining room for dinner. “I think I could live here,” he told Anna.

She smiled. “Well, you're seeing one of our best days. The weather isn't always this spectacular. We get a fair amount of fog and clouds . . . and then there's the rain. Some people can't take the wet gray days.”

“It's not any grayer than Eugene,” Lauren told her. “Trust me, I know.”

“Good point.” Anna agreed.

“The weather here on the coast seems to blow away and clear out better,” Lauren told Brad. “Whereas the valley seems to trap the clouds.”

“And the smog,” he added.

Lauren sighed. “See why I miss it so.”

Anna thought of Sarah and Clark now. Were they having a good visit in Eugene? Was it smoggy there? Did Sarah feel any remorse for dragging Clark away from his opportunity to spend time with Lauren and to meet Brad? More important, would Sarah ever figure out how to forgive her mother? Would they always be passing like two ships in the night? Carefully avoiding each other—going their separate ways? And if they did, how would Anna manage to accept it?

26

As usual, Anna had mixed feelings when Labor Day arrived. On one hand, she was relieved that their busiest time of year was coming to an end, but on the other hand, it was hard to say good-bye to another summer. And it had been such a pleasant one—not only because of Sarah's being with them, but the weather had been delightful, too. Sunny and mild besides that sorrowful time of the dying whales in June, it had been a perfect summer.

Even so, the hardest part about seeing it end was knowing Sarah was about to leave for school. Sometimes Anna wondered how many more partings she could bear. Oh, certainly, it was a part of life . . . but why was it that it seemed to grow more difficult as one grew older? Was this how her mother had felt when Anna had married and left so many decades ago?

Not for the first time, Anna wondered about how it had been a hundred years ago . . . or back before the white man came. Back in a slower time . . . when families and communities stayed together, helping one another, living peaceably alongside the river . . . and no one left. Was that what she was always longing for? That sense of connectedness . . . of being part of something bigger?

And she knew that, in some ways, she provided that for the guests who came to stay at the inn. They would settle in, make new friends, connect with old ways, experience the peace of the river, and perhaps even experience some form of personal healing. Or so she was often told as guests were departing, going back to their faster-paced citified lives.

But what if what she offered was only a temporary comfort? She tried not to think about it too much, but what if it was only a placebo? Or, even worse, what if she was some kind of charlatan? Pretending to have answers, feigning a place of healing . . . but it wasn't lasting or real? These were questions that sometimes bothered her in the middle of the night.

And yet, she knew that her motives were genuine. She wanted to share with others what she'd experienced on the river. As fleeting and confusing as that sometimes felt, she wanted others to know the peace and the wholeness to be found here. And at the same time she was tired . . . she was growing weary of all the coming and going . . . most of all the leaving.

Besides Sarah going off to college, both Diane and Janelle had announced this was their last summer to work for her. Diane was getting married, and Janelle was moving to New Zealand, of all places! Not only that, but with the expectation of their first child, Jewel and Skip seemed to be up in the air. One day they would want to stay here at the inn indefinitely. The next day, Skip would be talking to his dad about becoming a plumber. Nothing seemed to remain the same.

However, Anna continued to find comfort in the constancy of the river. Oh, yes, it was constantly changing as well. Always renewing itself, never running dry, it kept on flowing. Even after a long, warm summer, it didn't run out. Going and flowing, the Siuslaw rippled past the inn, shimmering like diamonds during the high tide, always finding its way out
to the sea. She could count on that. In the same way that she could count on God's grace to continue to flow through her life, she could count on the river to keep flowing to the sea. And that was a comfort!

These were the thoughts Anna comforted herself with after they dropped Sarah off at college. She and Clark had driven her there, carrying in her boxes and bags and seeing her safely settled into the big brick dormitory. Sarah's roommate, a petite blond named Susan, had seemed sweet and smart and already knew where the best deli was located. And so, Anna had hugged her dear girl and parted ways.

She'd hidden her tears as she and Clark walked back to the station wagon. Really, they were tears of both joy and sadness. When she thought of where they'd all been just one year ago, she knew that she should be exceedingly happy. And she was. It's just that she was sad, too.

“I thought we should stop by Lauren's coffee shop,” Clark said as he drove away from campus. “I found it when I was here with Sarah that weekend. I told Sarah it's where her mom worked, and, of course, she wanted nothing to do with it. But I know where it's located.”

“Do you think Lauren would be there?” Anna asked. “I didn't even call her to say we were bringing Sarah. I didn't want to make her feel bad.”

“Doesn't she usually work weekends?”

“That's what she said.”

As it turned out, Lauren was there. And she was thrilled to see them. Anna quickly explained that they'd brought Sarah to school then just as quickly changed the subject to inquire about Lauren's classes.

“I'm taking a lot of hours this fall,” she told them. “But I decided to go for my associate's degree.” She swiped the counter
and looked around the nearly deserted coffee shop. “I'm not even sure what I'll do with it, but I suppose it can't hurt.”

“Are you still seeing Brad?” Anna asked.

Lauren smiled and nodded. “We're going out tonight. Maybe you guys could go with us.” She looked at Clark. “You haven't met him yet.”

“And I've heard he's quite a guy.”

“How about it?” Lauren asked.

So it was that the four of them went to dinner together. And Anna was pleased at how easily Clark and Brad connected. She could tell that Lauren was relieved, too. “Maybe you two can come visit us on the river again,” Clark told them as they were going their separate ways. “We're not fully booked now.”

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