Road to Berry Edge, The (24 page)

She wasn't late in going to bed, she was worn out from the anxiety about the journey, the journey itself and all kinds of new things. Jenny was waiting for her. Faith said she must not wait up if it made her too late, but the girl smiled and said that it was all right. Faith had never been helped to bed before and the bed itself was like sinking into a cloud. In the lightness Faith went to sleep.

*

Rob wanted to teach her to ride a horse, and in the tiredness of that late evening Faith had agreed. She was not however quite so sure the following morning down at the stables. As Faith hesitated he said encouragingly, ‘Don't worry, it's not a horse, it's a slug.' Though she felt rather precarious balanced on the horse, she decided that he had been right. She soon felt quite safe, and it was a new delight to see the world from a horse's back. A golden sun appeared above the dew-white fields.

It was Sunday and a number of people had been invited to the midday meal. Faith enjoyed the new company, and a walk in the afternoon when she saw Ida's Japanese garden. The next day the men went to work though Rob was only going to look, he assured her, and she was rather disappointed until Ida suggested they should go into Nottingham and do some shopping. She took Faith out to lunch and later to a tearoom. Ida knew a great many people. Faith suspected that Ida hadn't spent such a day since her daughter had died, though she didn't say so. Faith's mother had provided her with a great deal of money, which Faith said she would not need but which her mother
had insisted on her taking. She found herself even that first day buying things which she had never before wanted and which now seemed essential, a pretty scarf which went with her coat and some sweets for Jenny because she had been so kind.

That evening when the men came home to dinner Faith felt so happy that she could burst. Ida was talking about invitations which she had received and how long they would stay, and whether there would be time to go and stay with some old friends who had a house just outside London.

‘We came back here to do some work,' Vincent said.

‘Nonsense,' his wife declared, ‘we've all done quite enough work. We're entitled to some time to ourselves.'

Faith wasn't going to argue with her hostess. Once again the dinner was perfect, beef in a wine sauce, an almond pudding, port for those who wanted it. Faith didn't. The white wine she had consumed made her exhilarated. She wanted to go out and look at the stars which were very clear that night. Outside on the gravel drive, Faith had never felt like this before, the stars looked so big and bright and the sky behind them almost navy. She heard footsteps crunching the gravel. It was Rob.

‘Are you enjoying yourself?' he asked.

‘I'm so glad I came,' Faith said. ‘I don't understand now why I was so reluctant. It's wonderful here, Vincent and Ida are so kind and generous and I may even learn to ride a real horse.'

‘We won't leave you to the mercies of The Slug once you feel confident,' Rob said smiling

‘Did Sarah ride?'

‘Yes.'

‘And very well, I expect.'

‘She was brought up with horses and that's different. I think you did very well today. It isn't easy, but you liked riding, didn't you?'

‘It was fun. How was work?'

‘A year is a long time to be away. It makes you feel either that you aren't necessary, or frustrated that you weren't there to do it better.'

‘And which did you feel?'

‘Both in some degree. It's like being torn in half between here and Berry Edge.'

‘I thought you would have learned to hate Berry Edge.'

‘I neither love nor hate it any more, I just wanted to try and put things right there.'

‘I think you've done that.'

‘Do you? I wish I could be sure.'

He said nothing more, but Faith knew that he was thinking about John and how she felt.

‘Rob, I don't understand why you didn't tell me about Sarah. If I had known that you had understood what I went through it would have made things different.'

‘I wanted you to forgive me because you wanted to forgive me, not because you felt sorry for me.'

‘I have forgiven you.'

‘Have you?'

‘Have you forgiven yourself?'

‘No, it's an endless debt, like a well. I never reach the bottom; each time I think I've conquered it, it springs back up again.'

‘Nobody could have done any more, Rob.'

‘My father's dead and my mother doesn't care for me.'

‘She never did. You can't help that. She adored John and your father and adoration isn't something that goes round well. You're the apple of Ida's eye. Be thankful for that.'

‘I've been lucky there.'

‘Yes, you have, and with Vincent and living here, it's so beautiful. The stars are much brighter in the country. They look so near and low. I didn't realise you lived as richly as this. I didn't think. Going back to Berry Edge must have been
awful for you, and your father's house must have seemed so small.'

Rob laughed. ‘Harry had never seen a bedroom without a fire in the winter. I thought he was going to turn around and come straight back here.'

‘Harry's not like that,' she said.

‘No, I know. His loyalty will be the undoing of him.'

‘He's certainly loyal to you. The times he tried to persuade me to be kinder to you!'

‘You are kinder to me.'

‘When I think now that you almost had to die before …'

‘I didn't almost die, Faith.'

‘You were off your head. You thought I was Sarah. And Harry told me lies, he told me that you were all right.'

‘I was all right.'

‘You weren't,' Faith said, faltering.

‘I'm fine. I'm here. Look, there's the North Star, there's the Great Bear.'

Faith looked.

‘I'm going to take you to London.'

‘Really? Oh, I've always wanted to go. Are you sure?'

‘I'm sure. I just need a few days here. I'm going to show you the town.'

*

Their house in Berkeley Square was huge and elegant with great bay windows and long, echoing rooms. Faith soon realised that it was one of the most prestigious places to live, the best address in London. Vincent grumbled because he hated it all but Ida insisted on going to help Faith along socially.

Faith went walking in Hyde Park, riding in Rotten Row, both at the correct hour, dressed to suit, as though she had lived that way all her life. In Nottingham she had done the kind of frivolous things which she would once have thought ridiculous, played croquet and gone with Ida to fashionable
shops like George Huttons's fur warehouse in Pelham Street, taken tea with the right people and had dinner with the best families.

In London Rob took her to the opera and the theatre, and again she met people and had invitations to dine, and it was so exciting. Women went into restaurants there, a new idea for Faith. It was another world after Berry Edge, and Faith had the feeling that she would never want to go home.

Rob did little work, they amused themselves. The days turned into weeks and she saw the way that the people here who were his real friends treated Rob, the respect and liking there was for him. She knew now something of his achievements, and she was pleased for him.

London went to her head, moving in interesting society, meeting people, spending money on clothes. Faith saw herself in the mirror in her bedroom one June evening and stopped, she was so surprised at the woman who looked back at her, so fashionable, so well dressed. She could not believe that she was the same woman who wore old dresses and poured the tea for Chapel meetings.

She went off downstairs. The weather was good, there was tea in the garden. Rob and Vincent were sitting under the trees. As she arrived, Rob smiled at her, and she was so reminded of John that she tripped over the edge of the lawn and almost fell.

Later Vincent went across the garden to where his wife was pulling weeds from the flowerbeds. They had gardeners, but Ida liked being involved and did most of the garden designing herself. It was not the garden she mentioned to him now.

‘Don't you think it's time Faith went home?'

‘She seems perfectly happy here.'

‘That's what's bothering me. I have no objection to having her here, but she's not good enough for him and you know it.'

‘Harry assures me there's no problem.'

‘Harry isn't here,' Ida pointed out. ‘I don't believe this story about another woman. Where on earth in the north would Robert find a suitable girl? He wouldn't, Vincent. You haven't gone and left them alone, have you? Faith may not be in the first flush of youth, but she's turning into an extremely pretty woman, and he thinks he owes her a great deal because of John. I want you to talk to him.'

‘Don't you think that would exacerbate the problem?'

‘If he asks her to marry him she's hardly likely to say no, is she? He's the biggest catch she's ever seen in her life, she's unlikely to refuse. And he'd regret it, Vincent, very much, because if he loves her then I'm the Queen of Sheba.'

That evening Vincent went outside to smoke a cigar.

‘You're not smoking that horrible, dirty thing in my house,' his wife had said. ‘Why you have to take up new bad habits at your age, I don't know.'

‘It's precisely because I'm this age that I have to take up new bad habits. Just be thankful it isn't young actresses.'

‘No young actress would look at you, Vincent,' she assured him.

Rob followed him into the garden.

‘Now, Vince,' he said.

Vincent shuddered over the northern greeting.

‘Missing the place, are you?' he offered.

‘Not especially. Harry can manage.'

‘And Faith, is she homesick?'

‘I doubt it.'

‘Her parents will be wondering how much longer she's staying here,' Vincent said.

‘She's never been away from home before. There's no reason for her to rush back.'

‘Three months is hardly rushing.'

‘Are you tired of her company, Vincent?'

‘No, she's a very nice girl when she stops talking about God, but she does rather lack social graces.'

‘That's not very fair,' Rob said. ‘We're all the product of our upbringing. God only knows what yours was like.'

Vincent ignored this jibe.

‘Are you fond of her?'

‘Yes. Much more so since we've spent time together.'

‘And your affections are free?'

‘What is this, Vincent?'

‘Harry assured me that there was no question of your becoming involved with Faith because there was another woman.'

‘I like the way you and Harry discuss me. I don't think that side of my life is any of your business, Vincent.'

‘It would be if you married Faith and expected to bring her home.'

‘You could hardly refuse me since I own a good part of the Abbey.'

‘I don't need to be reminded in such a vulgar fashion.'

‘I don't need to be told who I can and can't marry. I'm not your son, Vincent.'

‘Alas. I'd have brought you up with better manners.'

Rob said nothing to that. Vincent went on more softly.

‘I have nothing against the woman except that I doubt you love her, and if she loves you it's only for your brother's sake. Don't marry her out of guilt, Robert, you'll only regret it.'

Rob still said nothing.

‘Is there another woman?'

‘No!'

‘But there was.'

‘Nobody you would have wanted me to bring home,' Rob said bitterly. ‘If you think Faith's an unsuitable match, you should have seen
her.'

‘We must all be relieved for your good sense, then.'

‘It had nothing to do with my good sense. She wouldn't have me.'

‘Lord,' Vincent said, ‘I just wish for once that you or Harry would get something right. Between the pair of you, you can't find a decent woman.'

Rob didn't stay to hear any more.

*

Faith could not be accused of being insensitive to atmosphere, Rob thought that evening, when they went into the garden after dinner, escaping Ida's eagle eye.

‘I think I've outstayed my welcome,' she said.

‘It's nothing to do with you,' Rob lied. ‘Vincent and I are always quarrelling about work. You mustn't take any notice.'

‘I think I ought to go,' she said, smiling. ‘You've all been very kind to me.'

Rob thought that evening that Faith had turned into a remarkably pretty woman. All she had needed was good clothes, a little freedom and some town polish.

‘I don't want you to go. I like having you here with me.'

She smiled and Rob leaned over and kissed her. He had had no idea that he was going to. He had thought that he had conquered the need for Susannah Seaton or anyone else. He had put her from his mind savagely. Faith moved back away from him.

‘You mustn't do that,' she said.

‘I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.'

‘You seem like John to me, you know that you do, and you're nothing like him really at all. You're very important and respected and—'

‘Faith—'

‘No, it's true. You can have anybody you want.'

Rob smiled at that. He didn't seem to be able to have anybody he wanted.

‘I belong in Berry Edge,' Faith said. ‘It's been very nice
here but Vincent and Ida are polite because they think I'm dull and—'

‘No.' Rob caught hold of her. She tried to back away from him, but he kissed her properly this time. He did not forget that the last person to do so had been his brother so many years ago. She was sweet in her half-hearted resistance. When she drew back harder he let her go. Faith fled.

He caught up with her before she reached the door.

‘Wait!' he said, taking her arm.