The car came to a dead stop in front of the gate and Cindy knew the moment of truth had arrived.
She felt like she was being thrown to the wolves, only worse.
“I guess this is it.”
“This is it – the most exciting day of the rest of your life!”
The trunk popped open and
Victoria
stepped out of the car to retrieve Cindy’s bags. When Cindy looked at her friend, the lump in her throat grew larger and big tears splashed from the corners of her eyes onto her new jacket.
“Can you come in with me?”
“I can for a second to help you haul this big thing in, but I don’t want my car to be gone when I get back.”
They hurried into the passenger check-in area.
Victoria
left Cindy’s bag in the long line, and gave her a hug.
Cindy felt her last connection to the outer world slipping swiftly away.
“Bye.”
“Bye, Cindy.
Have a super trip, and do everything I would do, okay?”
“Yeah, okay.”
“That will pretty much leave you open for anything, you know that, right?”
Cindy nodded, having trouble breathing as her stomach tied itself up in a knot.
“You brought a novel to read, right?”
“Yes; a few, actually.”
“Just put your nose in your book and pretend you’re on a big bus headed someplace…..a really big bus that just happens to be thirty some thousand feet in the air, no big deal.”
Victoria
laughed and patted Cindy on the back, causing her stomach to gurgle and a wave of nausea to wash over her.
“That’s not funny.
You have my parents’ number, just in case, right?”
“Nothing is going to happen to you, Cindy. You will be just fine.
I know you’ll come back all glamorous with a new wardrobe and who knows what else.
It’s going to be the adventure of a lifetime, lucky dog.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“Yes, I have your parents’ number, your hotel number, the number of the agency who assured me they could find you and your soon-to-be new sweetheart at the snap of a finger should anything important happen…”
Remembering her orange tabby cat, Cindy felt a new wave of anxiety grip the area around her temples and threaten to give her a splitting headache.
“You forgot Max.”
“No I didn’t. You interrupted me.
I have the keys to your apartment, directions for the proper care and feeding of Max, and the keys to your mailbox. which will be checked on a daily basis. Your mail will be collected and neatly stacked on your kitchen counter awaiting your return.
Anything else, Madame World Traveler?”
Cindy shook her head and held her breath to keep from crying as she laughed at
Victoria
’s dramatic account of her duties.
“It’s going to be the time of your life, Cindy, I promise.
You did sign up for this, you know?”
“Yeah, thanks to you.”
“I know you plan to be indebted to me for life and that’s okay.
Groveling is always a good thing to me and I enjoy exotic gifts…perfume, clothing, and of course jewelry…”
“Very funny.
Yes, I will find room in my bags to bring you a surprise or two back from the trip.”
“The only surprise I want is another super hunk.
If you see any, give them my MySpace address, okay?”
“Yeah, whatever.”
Victoria
turned around and Cindy noticed a uniformed officer approaching her car.
“Uh oh…Gotta run.
You take care of yourself and have a super trip, okay sweetie?”
Cindy reached out and clutched
Victoria
around the neck; her last connection with her familiar and mundane world was about to disappear.
“Thanks for bringing me to the airport.”
“No problem.
Oh look, the cop is standing next to my car and he’s a cutie!
Maybe I’ll get lucky after all.
Bye!”
Cindy walked toward the ticket counter, turning once to take a last look at her friend who was busy flirting with the officer.
Cindy felt more tears welling up in her eyes and the lump in her throat threatening to choke her now as she watched
Victoria
’s little car speed away. She made her way to the long line of passengers waiting to check bags.
The line moved quicker than she expected and within a moment, Cindy was standing in front of the ticket agent.
“Passport, ma’am?”
“Yes.”
“And you’ll have to put your luggage here.”
Cindy realized she was holding on to her bags for dear life as if they were the only connection left to tether her to the familiar surroundings of home.
“Yes, of course; sorry.”
“Here’s your boarding pass; the gate is just over there.”
“Thank you.”
The barrier through security seemed like yet another impenetrable wall taking Cindy further and further away from all that was familiar to her and into a brave new world.
She felt the excitement of the morning return to her as she walked through the screening area, realizing now there was no turning back.
She was about to go from small-town farm girl to international traveler in a matter of a few hours.
The final act to seal her fate came when she stood in the line to enter the plane.
As much as she tried to hold back the growing feeling of trepidation, Cindy found her limbs tighten up, her breathing become labored, and an undeniable feeling of dread and terror wash over her as she slowly crept down the accordion tube into the narrow aisles of the plane.
The look of panic on her face must have been perceived as confusion, because the instant she put her big toe in the plane, Cindy found herself seizing up, unable to move another step.
“May I help you find your seat?”
Cindy didn’t hear the woman at first, the sound of her deep breathing filled the inner chambers of her ears, her pounding heart muffled the flight attendant’s soft voice.
“Ma’am?
May I help you?”
Cindy stared at her, finally bringing recognition to her words.
“Yes, thanks.”
She followed the woman only a few feet from where she started.
“Here you go, Ms. Brown.
Welcome aboard.”
Cindy was sitting in first class, assigned to a spaciously roomy seat which she hoped would be more comfortable and less traumatizing than the one on the only other flight she’d ever taken.
“Thank you.”
The small carry-on bag with her novels slipped easily under the seat in front of her and she closed her eyes, waiting for the moment of truth to arrive and her flight to begin.
Would she be scared beyond all her wildest imaginings?
Would she humiliate herself?
Cindy hoped things would be different as she covered herself with a blanket, fastened her seatbelt and closed her eyes, pretending to sleep.
The whole experience would only take fifteen hours, Cindy reminded herself as she tried to rest.
Surely I can handle anything for fifteen hours.
The calm state of mind Cindy worked so hard to create instantly disappeared at the thunderous sound of the engines. She sat bolt upright and stared wide-eyed at the tightly enclosed space, heart racing as she clutched the armrests so tightly it made her fingers hurt.
Oh no, oh no.
I can’t do this!
I want out!
Her breath quickened until she was near hyperventilation, and Cindy wanted nothing more than to get up from her seat and run kicking and screaming back down the hall and into the airport.
She needed help.
She knew that.
Looking around at all the gadgets and buttons, she vaguely recalled the light above her head and pushed the button that sent her flight attendant rushing to her side.
“How may I help?”
“I…..don’t….feel….good.”
Recognition of Cindy’s fears immediately registered in the woman’s face and she instantly put a reassuring hand on Cindy’s shoulder.
“Have you ever flown before?”
“Yes….once.”
“Okay, good.
Then you know how easy it is.”
Cindy wanted to slap the smile off of the woman’s face even though she realized the flight attendant was only trying to do her job and that she was sincerely trying to help her.
Nobody could know the terror she felt at being trapped in this mechanical bird that was about to take off and fly.
“I…can’t.”
“Yes, you can.
Just take a deep breath, close your eyes and pretend you’re at home relaxing.
Yes, that’s it.”
Unsure of exactly what “it” was, Cindy knew for sure it wasn’t happening for her.
Her head felt like it was going to explode and she had an incredible urge to crawl under her seat and assume the fetal position.
“Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth and just relax.
Don’t look out the window; just relax.
You’re going to be just fine. Remember to close your eyes and try to pretend you’re at home, relaxing.”
Didn’t I hear this in a yoga class?
It didn’t work then, it surely won’t work now.
The engines screamed as the wheels began to turn.
The flight attendant strapped herself into the seat next to Cindy.
“There you go.
I’m right here, and I promise you’ll be just fine.”
Faster and faster, the plane careened down the runway until….
“Agh.
I can’t do this!”
Cindy held her head in her hands, buckets of sweat pouring off her forehead.
“Look!
You’ve already done it.”
Hesitantly, Cindy opened her eyes, amazed that the loudest part of the noise had died down and the plane was getting higher in the air every second.
She tried to look as the ground got further and further away and familiar things faded into dots, but it was too much for her to deal with and she began to cry, breathing rapidly to the point that she felt dizziness begin to take over.
“Let me close this shade.
I guess that wasn’t the best thing to have you look at, but I wanted you to see that everything’s just fine.
You made it, and in a few hours we’ll be there.”
The flight attendant patted her knee as her words echoed in Cindy’s mind.
A few hours
….