Road to Reason (20 page)

Ryan leafed through a magazine in the waiting room.  It had been a few days since Ben accused him of not being serious about Kaitlin. And it still irked him. Who was Ben to pass judgment? Besides, it wasn’t Ben’s life. It was his and Kaitlin’s.

He had a reason for purposely avoiding any type of commitment. A reason no one knew of, and no one needed to, either. 

After all these years, Kaitlin was the first person to make him think it was time to get serious.  Time to look at the future.  He never saw himself as being married or having a family.  But all of sudden he was rethinking things.  Now he just had to get Kaitlin on board.

He was taking the next step.  A step he hoped she would appreciate and understand the true meaning behind. 

It was a risk. But there were no rewards without risks. And he wanted that reward. The big prize at the end of the game. Only this time it wasn’t a game, not at all.  It was his life and he wanted Kaitlin in it. He just hoped she felt the same way.

“Thanks again, Aaron, for stopping by,” Ryan heard Kaitlin say to her client as she walked him down the hallway toward the reception area.  Her steps faltered when she saw him sitting in the waiting room, his eyes watching her.  She reached out and shook her client’s hand, then held the door for him to exit.

“Ryan,” Kaitlin said, walking over to him smiling brightly.  “This is a pleasant surprise.” She leaned in to give him a kiss, only to have him step back. He saw the concern fill her eyes.  “Is everything okay?” she asked, tilting her head to the side, baffled.

“Yes.”

“OK.” She looked around the waiting room. “I’ve got a few minutes before my next appointment is here.  Let’s go back to my office.”

“I’m your next appointment.”

“What?” she asked, startled.

His lips twitched a little. “You heard me.”

She shrugged and turned to walk back to her office, confident Ryan would follow. She had no idea what was going on, obviously.  He’d been making a habit of stopping in to see her at least once a week, so there was no surprise there.  But he always gave her a kiss. And he never made an appointment to see her. He didn’t want to make her suspicious, he was only trying to keep it professional. 

It had to be professional for what he was about to do. 

He was also trying not to groan while he walked behind Kaitlin to her office. She had the sexiest work wardrobe he’d ever seen. Today she was wearing a fitted white dress with a blue belt at her waist and blue and white striped heels. Her red painted toenails were peeping out the fronts. 

He had all he could do not to lay his hand on her backside as it swished in front of him.  He was beginning to think she was doing it on purpose.

Kaitlin turned into her office, shut the door behind her, and then held her hand out toward the chair in front of her desk.  She made her way behind her desk.  If he was going to act professional, then so was she it seemed, and he bit back a chuckle.  “So what brings you here today?” she asked cordially.

He laughed at her.  She wasn’t happy he changed the rules today, and as much as she was trying to hide it, he saw right through her. She liked to be in control, have a grasp of things, but so did he.  He was impressed and had to give her credit for at least feigning indifference.  “I wanted to talk to you about some investments.”

She frowned, clearly thrown off course. “Is there a problem with my father?”

Ryan had been a client of William’s for years.  His entire family was.  Not that William would be upset if anyone switched over to Kaitlin, but normally clients only did that if their advisor wasn’t available, or they didn’t like the advice they were getting. “No. Not at all. I’m very happy with your father.  But your father is more conservative.”

He hedged over his description of her father, not wanting to insult her, but was happy when he saw her nod of agreement. “And I have something else in mind right now.  I’ve heard you are the one to go to for that.”  He liked the fact that after he did a bit more research he found that she was the risk taker of the firm.  Somehow that shocked him, but it was a pleasant discovery. 

“What is it you have in mind?”

He listed the name of the company, a local electronic firm.  She said, “I’ve been following the company and know they are on the cusp of something big. Something that a bigger company often swoops in and buys out for their technology and patents rather than products. How much were you thinking?” 

“A hundred thousand,” he said casually.  Her jaw dropped. That wasn’t pocket change, he knew.  As wealthy as she knew he was, that was still a lot of money to throw down on a hunch. And so far all he had to go by was a hunch.

“It’s a risk,” she said in warning.

He leaned forward, his elbows on her desk, a determined look in his eyes. “I’m willing to take the risk.  Are you willing to take it with me?” he said softly.

“Yes,” she whispered back.

***

“Dad?” Kaitlin knocked on the doorframe outside of her father’s office.  “Do you have a minute?”

“For you, Katie, always.” William smiled and turned away from his computer.  He watched Kaitlin shut his door. Based on the look on her face he knew it had to be important.

“Ryan was just in to see me.”

“That’s nice, dear.” He was trying to contain his anxiety. Ryan stopped in often to visit, but Katie had never come into his office looking this nervous before.  He hoped it wasn’t bad news. He and Isabel were just talking about how Ryan and Kaitlin were perfect for each other. If only they could figure it out on their own.

“He asked me to be his advisor on a transaction,” she explained to him.

William let out a breath. Wasn’t that interesting?  Even he knew one of the first rules was never mix money and pleasure.  The fact that Ryan was going to Kaitlin over him was very telling. And he could tell that Kaitlin might have concluded the same meaning behind it.  “What’s he interested in?”  He blew out another breath when Kaitlin explained everything.  “That’s a big risk,” he pointed out to her.

“I told him that.  He said he was willing to take it.” She paused and looked her father in the eye. He saw her hesitate, then smile softly. “If I was willing to take it with him.”

“What did you say?” William asked with his fingers crossed under the desk.

“I told him yes.”

William nodded his head while he tried to fight back his grin. “Are you going to do some research and get back to him?”

“No. It’s a done deal. I just completed the electronic transfer from his account before I came in here.”

“That was fast.  I guess he’s pretty confident on what he’s doing.” William wondered if Kaitlin got the double meaning behind the statement. “Are you?”

“I think he is,” she replied.  “And I know I am.”

The minute Kaitlin was out his office, he walked to the door, closed it and then picked up the phone.

“Good afternoon, Mathews Law Firm, how may I help you?” Carol asked into the phone.

“Hello, Carol. It’s William, is Thomas available?”

“Sure, Mr. Harper. I’ll transfer you now,” Carol replied.

“You look beat,” Kaitlin said to Ryan when he walked into her kitchen, a garment bag over one arm, his briefcase in the other.

“Long day,” he said, smiling grimly, then made his way to her bedroom to hang his clothes up.  He was thankful she suggested he stay at her house the rest of the week.  The first two days of the week had been long enough as it was, then add the almost hour commute each way, and he was dragging. 

Staying at her place gave him an extra two hours to relax—or work, unfortunately.  But at least it gave them some time together.

“Not a good day?” she asked when he returned to the kitchen.

He walked up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist, and hugged her close, breathing in her scent. He just needed the contact at the moment. “Could have been better. But I’ve had worse.”  He kissed the top of her head when she snuggled in close to him. “I’ve missed you.”

She turned her head, her eyes searching his.  “You just saw me yesterday,” she pointed out.

“Ten minutes to drop off paperwork,” he said, snorting.  “Doesn’t count.”

“We had lunch the day before.”

“Still not enough,” he said seriously. He had thought he saw signs of them getting closer the last week, ever since he’d taken the step and made her his financial advisor.  But maybe he was wrong. And it was eating at him that it might be the case. “Maybe I just miss you more than you miss me?”

She turned and looked at him. Her face softened, her eyes took on a glow of pleasure—a dart through his soul. In that one moment his heart knocked against his chest.  “Don’t bet on it.”

***

Later that night Ryan watched Kaitlin sleeping on her stomach, her arm reached around his chest holding him close. He was still too keyed up to sleep himself. 

They’d had a nice relaxing dinner at home, talked about their day, then retired to the bedroom. After they had made love, she cuddled in close afterward, stroking her fingers over his heart, while he waited.

Waited for her to say something. Anything. He’d sensed she had wanted to talk the last few weeks, but she never said a word.  Just kept whatever was bothering her locked deep inside. 

He wished he could figure out a way to get her to say what was on her mind.  But part of him was afraid he didn’t want to know. Didn’t want to know if she was having second thoughts and wanted to pull back.

The other part, the rational part, knew that wasn’t going to happen. He just wanted
her
to take a step closer to him.  So far he had been the one making all the moves.  A totally foreign experience for him, and the possibility of rejection was more than he could handle right now.

It had been a long day, but he’d been so happy to come home to her, share his evening with her, have their dinner together, and relax together. Lie in bed together. 

He was anxious, about her, about the case, it seemed about everything in his life.  He was trying so hard to compartmentalize it all, to push work out of his mind and just focus on Kaitlin.  But memories of the day rushed back at him.

“I don’t understand, Ryan,” Brittany had said to him tearfully that morning. “Why do they think I killed Jason in cold blood?  It wasn’t premeditated, or whatever else they think.  It was self-defensive. They’ve got Alyssa’s statement and the medical reports that he had attacked her. Not to mention all my medical reports on my past injuries. Why won’t they believe me?”

“Because,” Ryan started patiently, “you admitted that you thought there was another woman.  That is how you found out about Layla and several of the other women’s information that you saw on Jason’s computer.  The fact that there was indeed another woman makes it look like you were jealous.  That you killed him in a bout of jealousy.  Lover’s rage.”

“Jealous that he was attacking my daughter?” she cried incredulously. “What kind of sick monster do they think I am?”  She was getting angry, and he was happy about it. Having her angry was better than tears; if she was angry enough she would fight harder. He needed her strong now, not just for herself but for her kids as well.

“The prosecutors will say that Alyssa will cover for you. And you for her.  The wounds you both had showed signs of a struggle, but their job is to say that you started the struggle and
he
defended himself, not the other way around.” 

He hated that the prosecutors were taking that angle. But he assumed they would. It’s what he would have done if the tables were turned.  And he had to prepare her.

“But what about the other woman, the one he was cheating on me with? What did she have to say about Jason? Surely I’m not the only one he had treated that way. You even said he showed a pattern.”

“Right now the other woman has had nothing but good things to say about Jason. She claims not to know anything about you, that you were a total shock to her.  But she stated that Jason had been nothing but a gentlemen in the month since they’d been dating.”

Giving her details like that wasn’t what he had planned, but she needed to know, needed to be prepared ahead of time if questioned. She and her daughter had suffered enough. The humiliation of this was just another stress she didn’t need right now.  Unfortunately, he had no choice.

“But that was how he was with me, too,” she cried out, frustration overriding any lingering sadness. “For months he was the perfect gentleman. It was almost too good to be true.  I didn’t even realize it the first time he hit me.  I mean I thought it was my fault. He told me it was and I
believed
him.  Then he was so sorry afterward.”

She put her head in her hands and openly sobbed. He was helpless and let her cry it out, there wasn’t much more he could do right at that moment.  A few minutes later, she lifted her face. “I should have left the first time. But he said he was sorry.  He said he loved me and that he was stressed and didn’t mean it. And that I made him lose his temper. I had been nagging him that night and he just snapped.  That’s what he said, and I believed it,” she repeated, staring at him straight on.

Fighting back his disgust over Jason’s tactics, Ryan wished Jason wasn’t dead so he could knock him around himself.  That Brittany still felt she was to blame for the abuse she took at Jason’s hands infuriated him.

All the therapy he had arranged for her and her children had helped. But not enough.  He needed her to be stronger than that.  “Right now it’s your word against hers. That is the angle they are using to get this case to trial.”

“What about the other woman you were able to talk to? Layla? Has she contacted you about making a statement?” Brittany asked, sniffling and walking over to get a tissue. 

“Not yet.  I’ve talked to her once since our first meeting.  I’ll keep trying, but I don’t want to push too hard.  If this does go to trial, I can subpoena her to court. I just would prefer to not go to trial at all. But you need to be prepared for the possibility.”

“I don’t know what else to do,” Brittany said, staring at the wall. Her face void of emotions, the tears had run dry, the frustration and anger also gone.  She was all over the place and he could see how Jason had used that to his advantage and manipulated her. “I can’t go to prison and leave my children.”

She looked defeated—tired and rundown.  He had to work harder.  He couldn’t stop until he did everything he could.  He would find another way.

“I will do everything in my power to not let that happen. Trust me,” he told her, reaching across and placing his hand on hers.

Now, looking down at Kaitlin asleep next to him, he wanted to talk to her. To get everything off his chest. To let his frustrations out.  But he couldn’t. He couldn’t burden her with his problems. This case was just one of many.  

But for some reason, this one hit home a bit more. He wasn’t sure why.  Maybe it was the single mother taken advantage of and having someone play off her emotions. Maybe it was the thought of the children possibly losing their mother.  He couldn’t figure it out, but with all the turmoil of this case and his own personal life, he was at a loss.

For once he wanted someone to share the stresses that were weighing him down, but he couldn’t, he wouldn’t. He had to be strong too.   He never let anyone know when it was all weighing down on him.  He would get through it; he always did.

Instead he pulled Kaitlin in close, wrapped his arm around her waist and tried to will himself to sleep.

***

The next morning Kaitlin woke before Ryan.  That in itself proved how tired he really had been.

He always woke before his alarm went off.   She turned and looked at him, watched him sleeping on his back, one arm thrown over his head.  The pull at her heart turned into a five-man game of tug-of-war. 

Seeing him so worn out and exhausted made her ache for him. She was sure this was nothing new for him, just part of his job, but it was the first time she had experienced it, and she just wished she could help him somehow.

After a minute, she reached up and trailed her finger lightly across his whiskered cheek, loving the rough look of him. She knew he would never show his face in the courtroom like that.  Too bad, it was a major turn on. 

Startled, she jumped when his eyes opened and stared into hers.  Searching hers, like he was trying to read her thoughts. She sincerely hoped he couldn’t. He most likely wouldn’t appreciate her thinking he was tired and worn out.

Then again, maybe she wished he could read her thoughts. It would make it easier at least if he knew what she was thinking, how much she loved him, saving her from having to voice those words and set herself up for more rejection.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he whispered to her.

She shifted her head and stroked his cheek, loving even more that he leaned into her palm. “Morning, handsome.”

He pulled her in close across his chest, urging her head to lie against his heart.  She could hear the beating under her ear, the soothing sounds of it that lulled her to sleep last night. Then, it almost seemed to kick up a notch, giving her courage. 

She hadn’t been trying to make him work harder at their relationship like Ben had suggested. She was truly scared. But she took a step, finally, knew she needed to, if not for her, then for him.  “I think you need a vacation,” she said, her finger tracing circles around his chest and abs.

“I think I need one, too,” he answered softly.

She paused, and gathered her courage. “Do you think you can carve some time out after this grand jury verdict? Maybe take a few days with me somewhere nice? Just the two of us, no interruptions?” she asked, holding her breath.

“I think I can most certainly do that,” he said, bestowing a huge smile her way. “Next week after grand jury ends, I’ll clear my schedule for some time away.”

It was going to be good. She did the right thing.  And she was looking forward to it.