Road to Recovery (9 page)

***

It took a huge amount of willpower for
Lucas to not contact Brooke the last few days. He lost count of the
number of times he started an email, only to stop and delete
it.

He was glad he didn’t have her cell
number, because he knew he would have been as tempted to send her a
quick text. Or worse yet, call her for some made-up
reason.

He left the ball in her court. He
didn’t want to push, but he was starting to realize that if he
didn’t, he could be waiting a very long time. Trying to think of
excuses to stop in and see her, even though they were legitimate
concerns, or rushing through work to get to the gym knowing she
would be there only made him feel like a stalker.

He was itching to get his hands on her.
And those gym visits were the worst. Seeing her all hot and sweaty
was putting images in his head. Images that stayed there, resulting
in many sleepless nights.

He was actually glad that he was away
these last few days. It was good to give her time, time to let her
get comfortable around him. And he was sure she was, but his normal
patience was wearing thin and he wasn’t sure why. He wasn’t sure
what it was about her, what pulled at him so fast and so early, but
he needed to be around her. Needed to see that slow smile start at
the corner of her lips, spread to her eyes, brightening them,
making the flecks of gold stand out more.

He shook his head of those thoughts
about her. It seemed like one thing after another had stopped him
from seeing her today. He had wanted to rush down the minute he
walked into his office late morning, but emergencies and visits
from staff kept him away. And now it was almost four.

Without thought, and fearing
he would be interrupted again, he quickly pulled up his email. He
would test the waters and start simple.
Gym
tonight?
he typed.

Almost immediately he
received her response.
Yes.
Good sign.

Keeping it simple, he
inquired.
Alone?

The response didn’t come
back quite so quickly this time, but not enough time passed to
alarm him. Once he read it he could almost picture her at her desk,
internal debate waging war on what to write. Internal debate or
not, he couldn’t help grinning or letting out the next breath he
had been holding.
Yes, unless you’re going
to be there?

It was the opening he was
hoping for.
How about dinner
instead?

OK.

Looking at the clock once more, Lucas
started to form a plan in his mind. He was going for broke. He
could keep it professional if need be, but only for a backup plan
if the night didn’t go as expected. He sincerely hoped that
wouldn’t be the case.

He typed back.
Pick you up at home at 6:30? I’ve got your address
from your résumé,
he
added quickly, not wanting her to alarm her.

Sounds good.

***

A few hours later, Brooke
paced back and forth in her closet. Why had she agreed to this? She
was terrified, and for the life of her couldn’t figure out why.
Well, she
knew
why,
but still tried to get her emotions under control.

She reminded herself it was only normal
to feel this way. A year was a long time without intimacy. A long
time to go without feeling wanted and needed in a way only a man
could make a woman feel. She hadn’t realized she was missing that
connection so much, until Lucas.

But she was enjoying the tingle of
anticipation of what was to come. The dancing around two people did
in the beginning, the thrill of the next step. Wondering if and
when it would happen. And sex, she was really missing sex.
Hopefully that wasn’t clouding her judgment.

She began to look around her closet,
then wished she had asked where they were going. Concluding he
wouldn’t do anything really fancy, she decided on a pair of dark
washed skinny jeans and a fitted buttery yellow top with a scooped
neckline. Plunging just enough to tease, throwing out a hint but
leaving enough mystery.

“
Shoes, shoes, shoes,” she
muttered to herself as her eyes roamed the neatly organized
racks.

Heels always made her feel confident,
and she knew she was going to need that extra boost tonight. The
gray suede heeled ankle boots would do the trick. She quickly
grabbed them off the rack.

One more quick turn in the mirror
satisfied her that she accomplished the right amount of feminine
casual sex appeal she was going for. Glad that she had worn her
hair down today, as it was one less thing she had to deal with. It
seemed to add to the look she was going for, which was modern and
confident without trying too hard.

She freshened up her subtle makeup and
then headed out to the living room to wait. The problem with always
being early was the waiting. Waiting was the worst, especially
waiting for the unknown.

Picking up her laptop, she settled into
the corner of the couch. Taking advantage of the time, she decided
to review her notes for some fresh ideas she had. Maybe he did want
to talk about the conference after all. If that was the case, she
wanted to be prepared. She hoped she wasn’t reading the situation
wrong, but being prepared for any outcome was what she excelled at.
So, she would prepare.

***

Lucas pulled his Range Rover in front
of the closed garage door. Debating between the front or garage
doors, he opted for the front door. The garage seemed too casual.
They weren’t there yet. Better to stay formal, at least for now. No
use scaring her any more than he thought she was. Go slow, he
reminded himself.

Reaching over, he grabbed what he
needed from the passenger seat and got out.

Brooke answered the doorbell almost
immediately. Her eyes instantly went to the pizza box in his hand.
“Change of plans,” he explained, noticing her confused frown. “I
decided I wanted a night in after the conference. I’m kind of sick
of restaurant food, not that this is much different. Hope this is
okay?” He hoped me made the right choice. Maybe he should have
asked her opinion ahead of time?

“
Sure.” Stepping back out
the way, she grabbed the box from his hand, and took note of the
other two bags in his other hand. He held them up slightly. “Beer
and wine. Thought I would cover my bases.”

A nervous smile crossed her face. “Come
on in. I would have cooked if you wanted to stay in though.” She
shut the door behind him.

“
Seriously? Cook, as in an
actual meal, real food, not out of a package or microwave?” he
asked curiously.

Her forehead wrinkled. “Of course real
food. Who eats packaged microwave food like that?” When he raised
his eyebrows at her, she said, “You know that stuff isn’t good for
you. It’s not really healthy.”

Agreeing with her, he shrugged. “True,
but all I’m good for is what I can throw on a grill, order over the
phone or take out of a package. Oh, or warm up something the
housekeeper leaves. She takes pity on me,” he added
ruefully.

“
Well, that’s good to know.
Looks like I’ll be doing the cooking next time,” she said with a
smile.

“
Deal.” Following her into
the kitchen, his eyes roamed from the soft wavy hair flowing down
her back, to the jeans hugging the curve of her backside, all the
way down to those sexy shoes she always paired with everything.
Little ankle boots this time, looking as soft as the shirt was she
wearing. She always looked so soft and touchable. And he had high
hopes on finding out how touchable she was.

“
I was starting to have
second thoughts on my way over here,” he remarked
casually.

“
What?” she said with a
high-pitched squeak.

“
About the pizza,” he rushed
to say when he saw the startled look on her face. “Not tonight, us,
dinner. No second thoughts there for me. You?”

“
No, no second thoughts.”
She paused and grabbed a wine glass from the cabinet.

“
I can hear the ‘but’ coming
loud and clear over here.” He smiled, hoping to put her at
ease.

“
But—I have a few things I
need to say first.” She turned and grabbed a couple plates next,
set them down, held up some utensils that had him shaking his head,
causing her to replace them. “Why don’t we eat while the pizza is
still hot?”

Opening the box, he placed a slice on
each of their plates. “I’ve seen you eating pepperoni before, so
figured it was a safe bet.” He remembered the time he saw her
grabbing a quick slice with Cori in the cafeteria a few weeks ago.
He’d taken note of her likes and dislikes, and stored it
away.

“
I’m not fussy. I’ll eat or
try about anything once,” she said simply.

When he raised his eyebrows at her, a
faint pink hue covered her cheeks. She finished chewing and
swallowed. “I meant food.”

Opting to stay quiet, he continued to
eat. No use making her any more nervous than she
appeared.

“
How was the conference?”
she inquired.

Lucas tried not to sigh. She obviously
needed to keep things neutral, ease into it, so he would let her.
For now.

He answered all her questions, threw a
few funny stories out there, tried to help calm her down a bit, get
her more comfortable around him again. He hoped he hadn’t lost all
he gained before he went away this past week.

After closing the lid on the box, he
looked into her eyes, held her stare for a moment. Noticing the
blush was gone from her cheeks, and her hands were no longer
shaking, he asked, “All set now?” He grinned. “Got your list ready
for me?”

She nodded, picked up their plates and
turned to put them in the dishwasher. “Why don’t we go into the
living room?”

Picking up the wine bottle, he gestured
to her glass. She nodded, and he poured. Then he grabbed her full
glass and another beer for himself and followed her to the living
room. Placing both on the coffee table, he sat on one end of the
couch. He’d let her decide where she felt more comfortable, her
decision to make the move for distance or not.

Clearing her throat, she sat down, a
couch cushion separating them, and then turned to look at him while
she tucked one leg under the other. She took her time looking at
him. He stayed relaxed, leaning back into the corner, his elbow
bent and placed on the arm of the couch, patiently watching her
give him the once over. Watched her as her eyes moved from his
sneaker-clad feet crossed at the ankles on the floor in front of
him. His long legs were in faded jeans, a blue striped oxford shirt
tucked into his lean waist. No tie, a few buttons undone revealing
his collarbone.

When she finally tore her eyes away and
moved them toward his face, he could read every one of her thoughts
and watched the flush creep up her neck. He knew what she was
thinking. He had been around enough women to know. She liked what
she saw.

Taking a deep breath, she looked away
from his gaze and began with, “I wouldn’t say I have a list, not
like you mean. There are a few things I want to say. First, as you
know, my last relationship ended almost a year ago, and I haven’t
been with anyone since. I’m not good at the casual thing.” She
stopped, then rushed out quickly, “I’m not saying I’m expecting a
commitment tonight. I’m just saying that I don’t do casual. So if
it’s in your mind to have one of those open dating relationships,
then I’ll say right now it won’t work. Being colleagues is our only
option.”

“
Good to know,” he stated,
then softened his tone. “And for the record, when I’m pursuing one
woman, I don’t pursue another. For one, it’s too much work. For
another, I have too much respect for myself—and for you—to play
those types of games.”

She let out a breath, then nodded. “OK,
we’re on the same page there. We all have baggage, I’m sure. But
I’m admitting upfront that I have it. No need to go into it now. If
or when it becomes an issue, we will take it as it
comes.”

She stopped, looked down to fiddle with
her jeans. “I’m working through it on my own, and I have a good
handle on things. But I can’t make any promises.” He watched her
try to force a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I’ll
promise to always be honest. It’s important to me.”

Lucas knew at that moment the wrong
answer would end any chance they had. He was going to be honest. He
knew no other way. “Did you wonder why I didn’t go into private
practice? I’m sure you’ve heard by now that my family, my brother
and father, are defense attorneys?”

Watching her nod, he continued on.
“Well, I couldn’t do it. I guess you could say I don’t have the
hard edge they do. They look at their clients and try to see how
the law can help them whether they are guilty or not. Even with
something as simple as a speeding ticket, my take is you went over
the speed limit, you’re guilty to me. Pay your fine and move on.
Don’t try to get out of it. I know it’s unrealistic to think that
way, but I can’t help it.”