Robin's Reward (Bonita Creek Trilogy Book 1) (15 page)

Chapter 19

As she opened the door, Jeff gave her a sterling smile
. He pulled his arms from behind his back, and held out a bouquet of brilliant wildflowers wrapped in green florist’s tissue with a raffia tie on it.

“Hi, Robin. These are for you.”

Jeff waited for her to respond. There was no possibility he was going to allow the chance to get to know Robin slip away this time.

Robin stiffened and said, “What is it you want, Mr. Clarke?” Angst drifted in his direction.

Mr. Clarke? She’s angrier with me than I expected.

Jeff shifted his straw hat off of his forehead and inwardly groaned. He couldn’t blame Robin for being leery of his motives.

“Can we talk, please?”

“Talk? About what?”

“Uh . . . um . . . about my faults.”

“It’s getting late and this could take awhile, don’t you think?”

Jeff’s ears reddened in embarrassment.

“Fifteen minutes.”

“Excuse me?”

“You have exactly fifteen minutes to convince me not to throw you off my property. Let’s sit outside,” she snapped.

Robin motioned for Jeff to sit at the table where they’d originally chatted back in March. She hadn’t yet accepted the bouquet he’d offered, so he set it on the table.

“What is it you wanted to talk about?” Robin’s voice was missing its usual warmth and kindness.

“I don’t blame you for being upset with me, but—”

“Don’t try to read my mind. You don’t know anything about me.”

“You’re right, Robin. I don’t know you, but I’d like to.”

She chuckled quietly and murmured something under her breath.

“Sorry. I didn’t catch that. What did you say?” Jeff asked.

“I said your lies and actions don’t show you want to get to know me.”

“That’s harsh. I’ve never lied to you, Robin.”

“A lie of omission is a lie all the same. You’ve been secretive and sneaky since you got to town. Your words and actions lack a certain transparency, as our politicians in Washington like to say.”

“I’d like a chance to explain, please.”

Robin tilted her head in acquiescence and folded her arms across her chest as she leaned back in her chair.

“I’m all ears, Mr. Clarke.”

It’s long past time to man-up. Tell the plain truth this time.

“I’m really sorry about how I acted when you invited me over for breakfast. I’m not making any excuses for myself, but I’d like to explain what happened.”

Her nod urged him to continue.

“I was assigned the investigation of the library’s finances by my employer, Stan Brownstein. His firm, Brownstein & Associates, was hired by City Manager Ben Bauer to basically discredit the importance of the library. Ben Bauer has the opinion the library isn’t an essential public service like police, fire, and medical emergency services. He thinks the library is simply a drain on municipal resources.”

Sudden tears pooled in Robin’s eyes.

“I was shocked by his poor attitude also. Obviously the guy has no clue how vital the library is to this community. He was under the mistaken impression literacy is a skill freely bestowed on all people at birth. He doesn’t realize it takes dedicated professionals such as you to reach out to families and assist them in their journey toward literacy. The library in this town is an especially important gathering place for the community.”

He paused and waited for her to speak before continuing. Robin remained quiet.

“I realize the role you play in the library’s function and how important your leadership is to the community. I had so many conversations with residents where your name was brought up, and you were described in a positive light. The people here admire you, and they appreciate all you do to reach out to multiple generations.

“When I saw you working in your garden the first hot afternoon, I was attracted to you. I wanted to get to know you better, much better. My heart was on fire for the first time ever. After you told me you were the town librarian at the Chili Cook-Off, a part of me died inside. I knew immediately I’d be torn between my job assignment and my desire to get to know you better.”

“I liked you right away, too,” she whispered with a half-smile.

He smiled and continued, “When I got home after our chat at the cook-off, I called Mr. Brownstein and told him I’d met you informally. I mentioned you seemed nice, and I wanted to see you again socially. I tried convincing him to have someone else from the office assigned to this investigation. He threatened to fire me if I didn’t continue the investigation in a professional, unbiased manner.”

“Certainly with your qualifications and experience you could get another job.”

Robin wasn’t going to let him off easily.

“I was weak, Robin. I acted like a coward when I followed his orders. My excuse to my guilty conscience was I have to work so I can pay off my student loans from graduate school. Pretty pathetic, huh?”

He didn’t look up to meet her eyes for fear of the disgust he would find there at his admission.

He continued, “At one point, Mr. Brownstein suggested I romance you to get insider information to benefit the investigation. I told him I absolutely, positively would not do anything dishonest in any instance involving this investigation or any other matter. I told him I wouldn’t lead you on to assist the investigation.”

Robin shook her head and quietly asked, “Did anyone else in town know what you were up to? Was I the only person out of the loop here?”

“I didn’t share my purpose for moving to Bonita Creek with anyone except Ben Bauer. I went to the library workday and church services because I wanted to participate in those events.”

He fidgeted with the tie on the bouquet. “I’m not proud of this, Robin, but my relationship with the Lord hasn’t been strong for the past few years. Before I arrived here, I recommitted my life to God and vowed to follow His word and teachings more closely. I’m searching for ways to make it happen. I have a strong desire to be the man He created me to be.”

Looking directly into Robin’s eyes he lowered his voice. “I’m sorry for my lies and lack of transparency and the pain my actions have caused you, Robin. I hope you’ll forgive me. I’m an honest person. I just didn’t make good choices in this situation.”

“I need time to think about it. Your actions set off some bad memories for me.”

Robin stood up and said, “I’m tired. I’d like to say goodnight.”

“I understand. May I come see you again tomorrow night?”

She hesitated and then said, “Okay. Come back around seven. Good night. And thanks for stopping by, Jeff.”

She stepped inside without another word.

This won’t be easy. You’re gonna have to really work for this, Clarke.

~*~

Robin was sitting on her porch with the wildflower bouquet in her hands thinking about their conversation the night before.
I can’t believe I treated
anyone
like I treated Jeff last night. Being unkind isn’t in my nature—usually. Unless  . . . Right, now I get it. The pain Thomas caused me rears its ugly head again. I’m so embarrassed. I’ll apologize when Jeff gets here. I really do like him, and I believe it’s worth working through our issues to see if we have a future together.

Jeff walked up the path to her porch wearing a hesitant smile.

Here goes nothing.
Robin smiled and greeted him. “Hi, Jeff. Thanks for coming back. After the way I talked to you last night I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again.”

“I deserved it,” Jeff said as he shrugged his shoulders.

“No, you didn’t. No one deserves to be treated like a piece of gum on the bottom of a shoe.”

“You have such a way with words, Librarian Bennett,” Jeff smiled.

“I’m sorry for my bad attitude and hurtful words. It won’t happen again, I promise.”

“Apology accepted, Robin. Let’s move on.”

“I have something else to say.”

“I’m listening,” he replied.

“I forgive you, Jeff,” Robin said softly.

“You do?”

“I’m not perfect either. I have plenty of faults.”

“None that I’ve observed. It’s the main reason why distancing myself from you has been so hard. I believe God wants us to explore a relationship together.”

Robin’s face broke into a full smile. “I felt a positive connection with you the first day we met. I was sad when you blew me off the next weekend. Thanks for your candor and honesty last night. Not everyone is brave enough to admit their faults and ask forgiveness. Now I understand your position and actions.”

“I want us to have a chance to spend time together getting to know each other as friends. Then we’ll discover where this journey will take us.”

He reached for Robin’s hand. She silently motioned for him to enter her cottage. She was trying to swallow down the lump of emotions lodged snuggly in her throat before she faced Jeff. She turned to look up at him. Robin was absorbing what had transpired the past few months. Silence hovered pleasantly between them.

“Would you like some iced tea?”

“Thank you, tea would be great.”

Then in a serious and slightly shaky voice commanded her attention, he said, “Robin, we need to talk. Is now a good time for you or do you want me to come back some other time?”

Her anxiety ramped up as she took a few steps toward the kitchen before responding. Her self-esteem regarding men had hit rock bottom since Thomas’s lies and abandonment. Her mind was flooded with unpleasant memories and heartache. Her first thought was Jeff’s main motivation was negative.

Realizing she’d never know what his intentions were unless she asked, she reluctantly whispered, “Is it something bad?”

“No. It’s definitely something
good
,” he said with a wry smile.

“Let me pour you some iced tea then we can talk for as long as you want. Make yourself at home. Excuse me for a moment.”

He sat on the sofa directly across from what he assumed was Robin’s favorite chair. The chair was covered with a soft handmade quilt with a glass of tea resting on the adjacent side table. She returned a few minutes later juggling a pitcher of tea, a large ice-filled glass, and a plate filled with huge oatmeal cookies.

“I thought you might want a snack after all your hard work at the fair yesterday,” she said with a shy smile.

“How could you even notice my hard work? You looked as if you didn’t have a spare moment to take a breath all day.”

“You watched me all day and didn’t even say hi?”

He nodded sheepishly.

“My hometown is quite taken with the boyish Tom Sawyer who saved the library from the clutches of the evil city manager.” Her eyes danced with delight. “They reported your actions and whereabouts to me throughout the day. Even the youngest children couldn’t keep their eyes off of you. For some reason, people assume
I
actually care what you’re up to moment by moment.”

“I see.
Do
you care what I’m doing? I mean, do you have any interest in me?”

“Uh, well, I . . .” She hesitated and felt her cheeks flush. Once again, she sensed her old fears and doubts where men were involved creeping into her psyche.

“It wasn’t fair of me to put you on the spot,” said Jeff. “Let’s start over again.”

“I want to clear the air. I’m sorry for all of the awful names I called you when I was angry and hurt.”

“You called me names?”

“I’m not proud of it, but yes, I called you names. I mean—I didn’t call you names in front of anyone besides Miss Praise.”

“Yeah, but I’ve heard she likes to gossip.”

Robin laughed.

Like what?” he prompted with a boyish twinkle in his blue eyes.

“What do you mean, like what?”

“Like what names did you call me?”

“Let’s see. Ratfink, scamp, scoundrel, pond scum, weasel, and scumbag, among other things come to mind.”

“Pond scum and weasel
are
pretty horrible names to call a guy, but I guess I earned them by being such a smelly jerk.” He began laughing.