Rock and A Hard Place (Cascade Brides Series) (15 page)

“Trust.”

“Ah. Easier said than done, eh?”

“Yeah.”

“I know it was something I really struggled with after my father
left. Classic abandonment issues and all that.”

Faith knew something about those.

“At first I had a hard time believing that God could really be
there for me. If my own father couldn't hack it, how could God when
he knew all my faults?”

She studied his expression, waiting for him to continue.

His eyes scanned the distance. “I eventually came to understand I
didn't have to depend on my feelings. Even if I didn't feel God's
nearness, I always know He is near, because He says so in the Bible.
And His word is solid, like a rock.”

Faith thought of the words of the song earlier, then forced her mind
back to the conversation when she detected moisture building at the
back of her lids.

“In fact, since I've been a ranger surrounded by rocks here in the
Western states, that means even more to me.”

She murmured her agreement, then looked out the window.
Is that
what Merle meant by scenery? Rocks? Or do I just have rocks in my
head?

“How did you become a Christian?”

Faith wasn't prepared for the question. And answering it might
reveal what a muddle she'd made of things. She chose her words
carefully. “When Merle gave me the job, he also invited me to
church.”

Shane's brown eyes captured hers for a moment. “And you went
because he was your boss.”

“Yes.” She swallowed. “But after a while, it became real to
me.”

“But life has still been a challenge.”

Faith stiffened. What was he implying? That she wasn't doing it
right? “Isn't it for everyone?”

His smile gentled. “Yeah.”

They quickly arrived at the trail head. Faith slipped out of the
Jeep as soon as Shane parked. She had a bad feeling his promise not
to get too personal had worn off. This could be a long afternoon.
But at least her annoyance would keep her growing attraction at bay.

Once they were situated with their gear, Shane asked her to lead.
The hike was an easy one and well-marked, especially nice for her
ankle that still panged her from time to time. They headed through
thick pines as gray jays swooped overhead, chattering at the
intrusion. Faith enjoyed the rhythm of walking, of the crisp air
that cooled her heated cheeks and cleared her cobwebby mind. And she
might even admit it was rather nice to have company—even if that
company was nosy and pushy.

After about an hour's walk, they reached the trail summit. Shane
took a clipboard from his pack and began to take some notes as he
ranged over the area and examined trees and brush. After that, he
snapped some reference pictures.

Faith looked at the trees and decided they looked healthy for the
time being. But if the area didn't get significant rainfall, the
needles would dry out and the area would be prone to wildfire from
dry lightning and campfires.

She shook her pack from her shoulders and pulled out her water
bottle as Shane put his clipboard away. Sinking to the ground, she
took a long pull from her bottle. While the air was cool, the direct
sunlight warmed her skin. Leaning back, she shoved her backpack
behind her head, then closed her eyes.

“Lying down on the job?” Shane said, amusement in his voice.

“I'm not on the job, you are.”

“We need to keep an eye out for rattlesnakes.”

“I already did a sweep, Zadopec. This isn't their usual terrain
anyway.”

She heard him settle next to her. “Okay, Ranger lady, if you say
so.”

Faith smirked, her eyes still closed. “I just need to soak up some
vitamin D.”

“Good idea.”

After a few minutes of silence, she tilted her head slightly and
eased open one eye. Shane lay about a foot away from her, his arms
folded under his head, eyes closed. Faith took the opportunity to
look at him unhindered, without him scrutinizing
her
, which
was always unnerving. The sun gilded his olive skin and put a golden
halo around his dark hair. Heavens, the man was eye candy. It was a
whole lot easier to deal with him when he wasn't peering into her
soul with his perceptiveness. Eyes closed, his features relaxed,
made him seem approachable and less intimidating, socially speaking.

Maybe she could convince him to start wearing dark sunglasses. Of
course there was the risk he'd look even cuter.

His eyes snapped open, a smile tipping the edges of his mouth. “See
anything you like?”

Her face grew hot as she struggled to maintain a placid expression.
How does he know I've been staring?
Faith cast about for a
witty rejoinder but finally retreated to her usual eye roll.

Shane edged over onto his side, propping his head up with his hand.
He looked like he was going to say something but instead he sat up.
“We should probably be getting back.”

Relieved at not having to respond to anything uncomfortable, Faith
got to her feet and grabbed her bag.

The drive home was quiet, which instead of putting her at ease, made
her begin to feel worried. Had she finally put him off? Disappointed
him somehow? Did he think she was hopeless? Faith caught her breath.
Has he finally given up on me?

And yet she had no one to blame but herself for continually pushing
him away.

The questions dogged her all the way to the ranger station. Shane
remained silent aside from the most basic pleasantries, his eyes
always on the road. When he dropped her off, his smile was as sweet
as ever but a guarded quality in his eyes made her heart sink.

Merle's admonition rose in her mind. “Ah, after work, if you'd
like to come by, I could, like feed you. I mean, have dinner.”
Bleh, that was awful
.

A small smile played around the edges of his mouth. “I'd love to,
but I can't tonight. Raincheck?”

Her head went up and down automatically. “Raincheck.”

Shane offered a little wave then headed into the ranger station.

Faith drove home, feeling numb, but not willing to examine the
reason why.

Once she was inside her house, the four walls pressed in on her,
making her feel suffocated. Rubbing her arms briskly, Faith powered
up her laptop and plunked onto the couch. When her email was loaded,
she opened one from Merle. He was pleased with the response of her
last brochure. Would she be willing to put one together for a
company wanting a brochure for the Three Sisters Wilderness Area?
She snorted and pushed her hand through her hair, an idea forming in
her brain. Faith hit Reply and began typing.

No problem, Merle. I'll get on it next week
.

***

Shane stared at his computer screen until his eyes began to cross.
It had been a long, Faith-less week. He had come up with this noble
idea of giving her some breathing space by not talking to her for
five days. It definitely hadn't helped and might have even hindered
the quality of his work.

Perusing a weather forecast pertaining to the conditions in the
mountains was usually a little more interesting. However, Faith's
image kept getting in the way. He could acknowledge that his
feelings had crossed over from attraction to affection, but what
good was that when she wouldn't respond?

He thought back to her dinner invitation last Sunday. At the time,
he hadn't believed it to be legitimate. He had no doubt she'd asked
because she was under compulsion from one matchmaking uncle. Shane
wanted her to ask because she desired his company, not because she
had some backward notion she was saving her job. Still, it had
pained him to turn her down.

Over the course of the week, he wondered if he'd missed an
opportunity. Even if it was grasping at straws. But her usual
lukewarm enthusiasm at spending time with him finally brought him to
a point. Maybe it was time to get the message. Maybe Faith Conrad
just wasn't into Shane Zadopec.

So why wasn't his heart catching on?

Shane checked the clock. Four-thirty—almost quitting time. Then
the weekend. Maybe he could try one more time to let Faith know he
was interested in her—offer flowers instead of suggestions, a nice
dinner instead of take-out. Maybe she didn't know of his feelings
because he'd spent too much time telling her how to change, pushing
her harder even when she resisted, which everyone knew was the
ultimate in romantic impulses. He shook his head.
Way to go, man
.

Shirley cleared her throat. “You're mumbling to yourself, Shane.”

He twisted around and caught the amused expression of the office
assistant. “Uh, sorry about that.”

“Got a hot date tonight or something?”

He sent her a chagrined smile. “No, and that might be the
problem.”

She laughed. “Poor baby.”

Shane shook his head and finished up the report. At five, he
shrugged into his coat and followed Shirley out the door. Once he
was alone in his Jeep, he decided to relent and call Faith. Maybe
just let her know he was thinking about her. It was either romantic
or stalkerish, depending on her view of him. He just wished he knew
which was which. The call went to voicemail right away, which made
him disappointed after the long absence of the sound of her voice in
real time. He had no idea what message to leave.

“This is Faith Conrad. I will be out of town for this weekend on
assignment and will return your call Monday.”

A weighted feeling of defeat settled on his shoulders. Five days was
about to become seven. Where was she headed? Where was she headed
without
him?
Shane called Merle.

“Hello?”

“Hey, this is Shane. I just tried Faith's line and she said she'll
be out of town?”

“Yes, I've asked her to do a brochure on the Sisters Wilderness
Area so I believe she's heading up to get some shots.”

“All weekend, huh?”

“Depends on what she's after.”

Shane shook his head, and after a quick chat on the weather and
business, he hung up.

Depends on what she's after.

What if that included
not
him?

Chapter Thirteen

Only a thin line of shimmering gold crept past the horizon at the
Pole Creek Trail Head as Faith suited up for the climb. She'd spent
the last week making arrangements and getting her gear in order. The
busyness had kept Shane thoughts to a minimum—at least she only
thought about him every other minute rather than
every
minute. It stung a little that he hadn't called over the last
several days. Or that he'd turned down her clumsy Sunday dinner
invitation, but she only had herself to blame for her off-putting
behavior.

That's why this weekend was so important. Just like making the
effort to try for her GED, she was going to take another of Shane's
challenges and 'climb the girls' as he'd said. Maybe it would
exorcise the embarrassment she felt for at least a few of her
shortcomings. Maybe this climb would give her the confidence that
always seemed to be in such short supply.

It was going to be a hard push, hitting all three Sisters in two
days, but she'd found a large climbing group to tag along with and
they were just as determined to meet the same goal.

Faith double-checked her gear. It would require a few extra tools as
there were still icy glaciers where a pick-ax would come in handy.
She'd had to replenish her supplies as well as add new equipment.
The rest of the group milled around in the pre-dawn light making
last minute adjustments to their own gear and getting psyched to
start the climb.

“We're gonna hit the Gnarly Northy first because she's the
toughest,” said a man who looked more like a surfer than a
climber.

“Also known as the North slope,” someone said from the group.

“Yeah, she's got quite a few names.”

A woman spoke up. “Like the Black Beast.”

“I've heard the north peak was called the Ugly Sister,” someone
else said with a laugh. “That's the peak named Faith, right?”

“Yep!”

Faith grimaced.
Great
.

But her annoyance was forgotten an hour later as they headed up the
rugged slope. It took all her concentration to keep up the pace,
especially considering her periodic stops for photos. She stayed at
the rear of the group, listening to their excited chatter and
laughter.

The mountain gave way to an arching blue sky and alpenglow as the
morning wore on. Thoughts of her troubles were soon eclipsed by
loose, crumbling rock and slick glaciers requiring every last bit of
her experience and strength. Photography became secondary to keeping
one foot in front of the other.

The other climbers had been on this route before and despite the
jovial air, everyone took their time, being especially cautious
around the ice. Even in the more dangerous areas, the group
maintained high spirits and offered loud encouragement to those who
straggled slightly behind. Aside from a few smiles and words of
support, the others left her to herself. But that was fine because
she often hiked alone. She had always enjoyed the solitude. Today
surely wasn't any different. Faith focused on one step at a time,
listening to the sounds of the group begin to fade as they moved on
ahead, listening to the measured crunch of her boots and the huffing
of her breathing. She slowly realized, despite being included with
the others, she was essentially alone.

She wondered what Shane was up to. He would probably enjoy this hike
more than she. A vague sense of guilt plagued her as the hours wore
on. Should she have invited him along? But why would he want to
come? He didn't want to come to dinner. What did she really have to
offer outside of smart-alec remarks and a stubborn streak a country
mile wide?

Faith reminded herself that he'd most likely use the climb to badger
and prod her, making her feel like she didn't measure up. Or use the
exercise to promote some spiritual homily that would set her teeth
on edge.