Rock Chick 03 Redemption (16 page)

Uncle Tex’s arm came around my shoulders as I saw lights rounding the corner down the block.

I froze.

It was dark, but I could see, in the streetlamps, it was Hank’s 4Runner.

“No,” I whispered, panic flying through me.

“Roxie?” Uncle Tex asked, he and Nancy stopped with me.

My eyes flew to Tex. “I can’t see Hank.”

Uncle Tex glanced at the oncoming car. “Darlin’ girl…” Tex started and I knew he didn’t agree with me.

“No! No, I can’t see him and… and he can’t see
me
. Not like this. Please, please, please,” I chanted.

The SUV was close. I had no time. I stopped chanting, shook off Nancy’s hand, Uncle Tex’s arm and I ran.

* * * * *

I went into the house, tearing through it, to the room at the back.

I threw the door closed. It was Uncle Tex’s bedroom.

I ran to the windows, cats flying everywhere, sensing my panic, and I pul ed the drapes. Then I went back through the dark room to the door, feeling the knob for a lock but there was none. I put my back to the door and slid down it, sitting with my shoulders pressed against the door.

Then, I heard the voices, Uncle Tex’s a soft boom, Hank’s deep voice control ed and patient, Nancy’s butting in every once in awhile. The boom got louder and then I could tel , even though I couldn’t make out the words, that Hank’s control slipped.

I put my hands over my ears, pul ed my knees up and rested my forehead on them but I could stil hear the voices, I could feel Hank’s impatience and I knew Uncle Tex was trying to protect me.

I started humming.

God, I was so tired. So, fucking, tired.

I couldn’t give into the exhaustion.

I hummed, forcing the voices out of my head, and I planned.

Get my clothes from the hotel.

Get my car.

Go to Chicago.

Go to Annette’s.

Get my money, my stuff and escape.

There came a soft knock at the door and I stil ed.

“Roxie, honey, it’s me. Nancy.”

I got up slowly from the door and opened it a crack. She was alone.

The voices were gone.

“Where’s Hank?”

“Lee and Eddie are here, they’ve got him outside. Let me in, baby dol ,” she said gently. I opened the door enough so she could slide in and I closed it right behind her.

She switched on a light and then turned to me. “Eddie and Jet went to your hotel today. It’s good having a cop in the family.” I watched as she smiled a mother’s satisfied smile and my heart wrenched at the sight. I’d never seen my Mom smile at Bil y and me like that. Never.

Nancy kept talking. “Eddie explained to management and they checked you out. Your car’s outside. Jet and Indy brought in your stuff. They’re making up the second bedroom right now.”

I was leaning against the door, trying to hear what was happening outside at the same time trying not to hear.

“We al think you should go home with Hank,” Nancy said softly. “Even Tex.”

I shook my head, looking at the floor.

“I’m going to sleep for a while, then I’m going to go,” I told her.

Nancy got close to me, leaned against the door with me, more for real support than moral support, I could tel . She reached out and grabbed my hand. “Where are you going to go?”

“I don’t know,” I was stil looking at the floor. “Away.”

“You should know, Hank wanted to look for you. Jet told me. Lee and Eddie talked him out of it. When he got to his house…” she stopped. “Baby dol , look at me.” I looked at her. Her green eyes were kind and I felt my nostrils start to burn and I sucked in deep breaths to control the tears.

She continued talking. “When he got to his house and you were gone, it wasn’t good. Tex knew exactly what had happened and told them about this Bil y person. Lee was worried what Hank would do if he caught up with you and Bil y was with you. Tex told me that Lee and his boys can do things Eddie and Hank can’t do. Stil , it took a lot to talk Hank out of coming after you.”

I realized that Nancy thought I was upset that Vance had come after me, not Hank.

“It’s not that,” I told her.

“What is it?” she asked.

I looked at the floor again and swal owed.

She squeezed my hand. “What is it, honey?” she asked, her voice so soft, I could barely hear her.

My nose started burning and so did my eyes. I closed them, hard, and blinked the tears away.

“I’m dirty,” I whispered in a voice lower than hers. “He’s good and clean and wonderful and he deserves better than me.”

“Oh baby dol ,” she whispered and she moved, sliding across the door, her hand letting go of mine and her arm coming around me. “You gotta know that’s just not true.” I stood there and let her hold me as best she could. She was smal er than me and she’d had a stroke, but she was stil stronger than me. So was Jet, so was Indy, so was Al y.

Everyone was stronger than me.

Hank needed someone like them. Someone who knew good from bad, was strong enough to stand for the good or turn away from the bad.

And that was not me.

John Mel encamp sang an old adage, “
You gotta stand
for something, or you’re gonna fall for anything
.” Mel encamp was right.

Miracle of miracles, I didn’t cry and final y I said, “I have to go to sleep.”

She pul ed away and looked at me closely. I could tel she didn’t like what she saw.

Even so, she sighed and let me be.

“I’l see how Indy and Jet are doing with that bed. You want me to send them in here?”

“No!” I said it louder than I needed to but I liked these people and spending any more time with them would make it harder to leave. “No. I want to be alone. I haven’t been alone in three days.”

She nodded, but I could tel she stil didn’t agree.

“I’l knock on the door when the coast is clear.” I took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “Thank you,” I said.

She reached up, kissed my cheek, then slid out the door, not opening it any more than she needed to. I found myself hoping, again, that Uncle Tex and Nancy worked out.

I turned out the lights and resumed my position on the floor, shoulders against the door.

I heard Nancy talking to Indy and Jet, their voices a murmur and I couldn’t hear what they said.

Then there was quiet.

I waited.

A long time passed and there was a knock on the door.

“Roxie?”

It was Uncle Tex.

“Yeah?”

“It’s just you and me, girl. Everyone’s gone.” I didn’t answer.

I closed my eyes and rested my forehead on my knees.

It wasn’t with relief, it was with heartbreak.

* * * * *

I sat in the dark for a little while longer and, when I felt ready, I came out.

Uncle Tex made me eat half of a frozen pizza and made me drink three shots of hooch. The whole time he watched me silently. I could tel he wanted to say something but he kept his peace.

I left him in front of the huge, old console TV in his living room and went to the second bedroom.

The double bed was made with fresh sheets, an old, mint-green, chenil e blanket smoothed over the top. My suitcases were on the floor against the wal , my pajamas had been cleaned and were folded and resting on the pil ow.

I fought back the tears (again), changed into my pj’s and slid into bed.

I stil had my plan and tomorrow, I was going to carry it out.

I didn’t know what was happening to Bil y and I didn’t care. He was dead to me.

I didn’t know where Hank was and I tried not to care. He wasn’t dead to me but we were over. This I knew like I knew MAC cosmetics were the best quality for the price by a long shot.

Final y, I slept.

* * * * *

I woke when the covers moved and it wasn’t me that moved them.

For a moment, I thought it was one of Uncle Tex’s cats, then the bed moved in a way that it would have to be the biggest cat in history.

Or a human.

Then, a strong arm slid around me and I was pul ed back against a warm, hard body.

I froze, then I tried to pul away.

“Don’t,” Hank said to the back of my head.

Shit.

I stopped pul ing away but my body was tense.

“How’d you get in here?” I whispered.

“Tex let me in.”

I closed my eyes.

Betrayed by my own flesh and blood.

“Wel , he’s certainly not invited to my next birthday party,” I said.

Silence.

“I’m okay, Hank. Real y. You can go,” I told him, or more like, lied to him.

More silence and he didn’t move.

“Actual y, I’d rather that you went. I’m feeling the need to be alone.”

“That’s too bad, ‘cause I’m not feelin’ that same need.” Jeez, he was stubborn.

“If memory serves, I was the one who was just abducted.

I’m not sure your feelings count about now,” I told him, sounding so uppity I was borderline bitchy.

His body got as tense as mine, I felt it like a warning.

Then, his mouth came to my ear. “I feel the wraps,” he said, his hand running gently along my ribs. “And I know the way Vance found you. I’m sorry you went through that, Sunshine.”

I didn’t answer and waited. I expected he wasn’t done.

I wasn’t wrong.

“But, I came home from a run the morning after the best date I’d ever had, a date with a girl who talked about pigs wearing toupees, who could quote Springsteen lyrics, who whispered to horses and who grew up in Indiana and was scared of cornfields. I came home thinkin’ that I was gonna make love to that girl, shower with her, get her breakfast, get her to trust me and final y, start to get to know her better.

Instead, I found my house a disaster, what I could only assume was her blood on the wal in my bedroom and she was gone.”

Dear God. How’d my blood get on the wal ?

He must have been out of his mind. Uncle Tex must have been out of his mind.

I closed my eyes and sucked in a breath.

“Was that your blood?” he asked.

I let out my breath. “Wel , I tried, but unfortunately, I was the only one who ended up bleeding.”

I should have stayed silent or, possibly, I shouldn’t have been flippant. For one reason or the other, the air in the room changed so much I found it hard to breathe and it had nothing to do with his arm tightening around my ribs.

“Hank, my ribs,” I whispered.

Instantly, his arm loosened and his mouth went away from my ear. I waited while he got control. The air changed back to normal and he spoke again.

“I guess I’m sayin’ that my feelings do count about now,” he finished.

“I’m sorry. I’l pay for any damage or cleaning of your house,” I said.

He ignored my total y stupid comment.

“You told me you weren’t in danger.”

Shit.

I had said that.

“I wouldn’t have left you alone if I’d known you were in danger,” he went on.

Good God, he thought it was his fault.

“It wasn’t your fault, Hank. I didn’t think I was in danger,” I told him.

And it was true, I didn’t think I was.

I thought Bil y loved me. He was crazy and possessive, not to mention crazy possessive, but I never thought he’d even hit me, much less beat me up and threaten to rape me on another man’s bed. I never thought he’d drag me across country, on the run from what had to be bad guys and put me in even worse danger from them than I had from him.

How lucky was I that they didn’t take me with them or shoot me on the spot?

How fucking lucky was I that they left me cuffed to a sink?

I never thought, growing up with dreams of being a corporate goddess with two closets ful of clothes and another one dedicated to shoes, that I’d end up like this.

My tense body started shaking.

“Oh shit,” I said.

He felt it coming and he turned me. I resisted but he did it anyway.

“Shit,” I repeated as it came over me. “Shit, shit, shit.” I was face-to-face with him and both Hank’s arms went round me as the tears arrived; great, wracking sobs.

Dammit, I
hated
when I cried. I was so fucking weak.

And anyway, crying hurt my ribs.

I put my hands over my face and, pain or not, had no choice but to let loose.

“I’m so s-s-stupid,” I stammered, between crying hiccoughs, taking my hands away from my face. “Bil y scared me, what with the sledgehammer and al , but I was so stupid. I thought I could play games.”

“Sledgehammer?” Hank asked but I ignored him.

“I thought I was smarter than him. Uncle Tex said my plan would go south. It’s so south, it’s in the next fucking galaxy!” I shouted.

“Let’s go back to the sledgehammer,” Hank suggested.

I pul ed away and started to rol out of bed. I was nearly out when Hank tagged the camisole top of my pajamas and pul ed me back into bed.

“Let go!”

“Roxanne, calm down.”

I struggled against him, “Hank, let me go!” Surprisingly, I won the struggle. It didn’t occur to me he wasn’t going to wrestle with me when I had three cracked ribs. I jumped out of bed and ran to my suitcases, my breathing labored with that minimal effort.

“I have to go, like, now,” I announced even though I was in no shape to go anywhere.

Hank was out of bed and getting in my space.

“Come back to bed,” he said.

“No, I have to go.”

He was blocking my way, every way I turned, and herding me back to the bed.

“Get out of my way!” I shouted.

“Where are you going to go?”

I made a split-second decision, “Mexico!”

“Mexico?”

“My money wil go further there. I could start a franchise, like a convenience store or something. I’l be the gringa queen of my vil age.”