Rock Chick 05 Revenge (46 page)

I wanted to tell him there was nothing he could do, no one he could be that I didn’t want to know and I didn’t even care what scary shit he did or who he did it for. That was how much he meant to me.

But I couldn’t. I couldn’t open myself up like that.

Luke went on. “A few weeks after I left that life, my Dad died. I tried to reconnect with you, then
you
left
me
for five years.”

My heart lurched because there was definitely accusation in his tone.

I closed my eyes and tilted my head forward so my forehead was resting on his chin.

He kissed me there then kept talking. “Ava, I need you to tell me why you didn’t pick up the phone.”
 

“I can’t.” My voice was so soft even I had trouble hearing it.

“You will,” he replied in a voice nearly as soft as mine and it made me shiver.

He felt the shiver, his hand left my hair and his arms wrapped around me.

I waited for him to say more but he didn’t. Instead, he held me while I processed all he said, tied it in a bundle and buried it deep. He kept holding me until the tension ebbed out of me again.
 

And he kept holding me until I fell asleep.

* * * * *

As usual, sometime deep in the night, Luke pulled me over his body.

Not as usual, he stopped when I was on top of him.

His hands went over my bottom, down the backs of my thighs to my knees and then he pulled my legs up so I was straddling him. As his hand went between our bodies, my head came up.

“What’s going on?” I mumbled in a sleepy voice.

He didn’t answer. Instead he did an ab curl, sitting up, taking me with him at the same time he guided himself inside me.

“Oh my God,” I whispered at the shock and the thrill of it.

One of his arms hooked around my waist, the other one went into my hair and tilted my head down to his.

“I want you to feel it,” he told me, his voice husky.

The husky voice mixed with him filling me worked like a charm. I was instantly
way
turned on and I started to move. His arm went from around my waist, his hand slid down my arm, taking hold of my hand and pulling it between our bodies.

I kept moving, sliding up and down on top of him, my lips on his as he brought our hands between us and his fingers pressed mine to where we joined.

I had to admit, I liked the feel of us. We felt sexy and hot and wet and having my fingers touch our physical connection opened something inside me, something I really wanted to stay closed.

“Luke,” I breathed.

“Quiet, beautiful. Just move.”

I did as he asked and moved, slowly, rhythmically, all the while he held our hands between us, his other hand in my hair, tilting my head down, slanted so my mouth was on his. Every once in awhile, he’d kiss me, softly, touching his tongue to mine briefly and pulling away.

It didn’t take long before I felt it – what he was talking about, what he wanted me to feel.
 

It was our connection, not just our bodies but more. It was about history, it was about understanding, it was about the fact that we fit together and the fact that everything was just, simply
exactly
as it should be.

It was right.

When I felt it, it overwhelmed me, shot straight through that opened part of me right to the soft, vulnerable spot I kept guarded and even
that
felt right.

The tears came to my eyes spilling over silently, falling down my cheeks but I kept moving.

“There it is,” Luke whispered, his voice had gone from husky to hoarse.

“I can’t do this, Luke,” I whispered back.

“You can.”

I pulled my hand from his but only so I could wrap both my arms tight around his shoulders and I kept moving. “I can’t.”

“So you can’t. We’ll do it together. That’s the point, babe.”

I knew that. Now, I knew it.

“You don’t get it,” I told him, still moving.

“Tell me,” he replied softly, his hand sliding up my back making me shiver.

I slid down and stayed down so he completely filled me. I loved the feeling of Luke deep inside me.

I took a moment to memorize it before I said, “This can’t go bad.”

“It won’t go bad.”

“It can’t.”

“Ava –”

“Luke, you have to know, it won’t be like the other guys. If it’s you, it’ll be worse.” My voice went softer, lower, barely a whisper. “If this goes bad, it’ll destroy me.”

His hand stilled on my back and I waited, holding my breath.
 

The moment of truth.

No man wanted that responsibility. I knew it, I’d seen it time and again.
 

They liked to be in the chase. Luke didn’t want me actually to belong to him. He wanted to
make
me belong to him. Once he did, I was like his lamp, easily disposed of. Admitting to him that he had that power over me, I knew would be the ultimate turn off. Guys wanted girls they couldn’t have, so they could win them and then destroy them. Guys didn’t want girls who pined for them, loved them most of their life that was just too easy.

His hand in my hair fisted. “You sayin’ you belong to me?” he asked, his voice had gone from hoarse to gruff.

“No, I’m saying if this doesn’t work out –”

I didn’t finish, he whipped me around so I was on my back, he was on top and he ground his hips into me.

Ho-ly
shit
but that felt good.

“Luke,” I breathed, my voice catching on his name as the slow burn started sprinting.

“Admit it, Ava, you were sayin’ you belonged to me.”

“No.”

He pulled out and slammed back in and started grinding again.

Yes
. My brain screamed.

“Do you feel it?” he asked.

I nodded and whispered, “I feel it.”

“Then you belong to me.”
 

“Luke.”

He pulled out and slammed back in again and my breath hitched as my body jolted.

“Say it,” he demanded.

I held on to my denial. “No.”

He did a repeat of the pull and slam.

“Say it.”

“No!” I shouted, lifted my head, pressed my lips to his and kissed him, sliding my tongue in his mouth.

That’s when it went wild. He didn’t stop between the pull and slams, just kept pounding into me again and again and again and, it must be said, I loved every, single, mind-blowing stroke.

I lifted my legs at the knees, pressing them into his sides as my hands roamed, my nails scratched. I kissed, licked and I may have gotten out-of-control and given him an actual Junior High School love bite at the base of his neck.

With his hands at my ass lifting my hips to take his thrusts, I finally got so close, I called his name, ready to finish.

And he stopped.

I’d arched my neck in preparation for climax but my chin jerked down and I stared at him. “Don’t stop!” I shouted.

“Do you belong to me?” he asked.

Even in the throes of pre-orgasm, my mouth dropped open. Then I snapped, “I hate you Lucas Stark!”

I saw his white grin.

“Yeah,” he mumbled. “You belong to me.”

Then he started moving again. And he didn’t stop this time.

And he left me believing that regular-position sex definitely had its merits.

* * * * *

We were face-to-face, my hands pressed against his chest, my leg wrapped around his hip, his fingers stroking the back of my thigh.

I had my eyes closed and even though I’d come down from my post-getting what was between us orgasm, my heart hadn’t stopped beating too fast. In fact, it was pounding so hard I was certain Luke could hear it
and
feel it.

“You scared?” he murmured.

Yep, he could feel it.

“Yes,” I whispered and do not ask me why, I told him the truth.

I was scared. I was scared out of my mind.

“Of me?” he asked.

“Yes,” I answered honestly again and I actually started trembling.

He stopped stroking my leg, his fingers slid over my bottom, his arm wrapped around my waist and he pulled me closer to the heat of him.

“Finally,” he muttered, “I’m gettin’ somewhere.”

I was so screwed.

He certainly is getting somewhere and I like where he’s getting!
Good Ava said dreamily.

I don’t think your fuck buddies idea is working,
Bad Ava told me on a huff.

I ignored Good Ava and Bad Ava and Luke held me tight until the tremors slid away.

Then I called, “Luke?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“What was with the handcuffs?”

His arm got even tighter. “If I had to, I was gonna cuff you to me again.” His head came up and he kissed my shoulder then he settled again and said softly, “I didn’t have to.”

Hell and damnation.

I just kept giving myself away.

Chapter Twenty

Straighter

It had been a long and emotional night so when I woke up, I still felt asleep and thought I was dreaming. Either that or I was in my pretend happy place. Those were my excuses for what I did and I was going with them.

See I woke up before Luke. I woke up happy (yes happy, it was morning, I hadn’t had the chance to put my defenses up yet), warm and post-night of mind-boggling life-altering sex relaxed, curled into his side and the first thing my eyes saw was the wall of his chest. There were a lot of things about Luke I liked (read: pretty much everything), but I liked his chest especially. So, since I liked it so much and I was living a dream, I leaned down and kissed it.
 

I decided I also liked his neck so once I was done kissing his chest I shifted up and kissed his neck. Since I was at his neck, I saw that I had, indeed, given him a hickey the night before and even though that was silly, juvenile and highly embarrassing, secretly I liked my mark on him so I kissed that too.

You also like his jaw,
Good Ava reminded me.

She was right. I
did
like his jaw. Luke had a great, strong jaw.

So I kissed Luke’s jaw.

You also like his…
Bad Ava started but Good Ava threw her halo at Bad Ava, it bonked off Bad Ava’s head so Bad Ava snapped at Good Ava,
Hey!

“Babe,” Luke said softly, his voice husky with sleep, his arms coming around me.

I lifted my head to look at him, planting my hands on his chest, moving closer to his face and still in my dreamy, pretend happy place, I smiled and whispered, “Good morning.”

That’s when I noticed his face. It was soft and his eyes were sleepy, warm, inky and completely unguarded.

Whoa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Stop right there.

Before I could react, retreat or even take the moment to memorize that look leveled at me, his hands came to my hair, pulling it off my shoulders to bunch it the back of my head. One hand shifted my hair to his other hand and the fingers of his free hand drifted down my back. His head came up and he brushed his lips against mine.

He settled back into the pillows and his warm, unguarded eyes roamed my face as I lay there frozen. Good Ava was twirling with delight, a la Maria in the mountains at the beginning of
The Sound of Music
while Bad Ava had her face in her hands and was shaking her head.

Luke’s eyes settled back on mine and, softly, he murmured, “Christ, you’re beautiful.”

At his words my blood turned to ice. The pretend happy place around me exploded and I found I was in the polar arctic, surrounded by snow and wasteland.

What was I doing? What, on earth, was I doing? How had I let it get this far?

No.

No, no, no.

This was wrong. It wasn’t right, it was very, very
wrong
.

What I was, and forever would be, was Fatty, Fatty, Four-Eyes.

What I was not was beautiful.

Without a word, I jerked away from him and rolled to a seated position on the side of the bed, nothing but escape on my mind. I had no idea where I was going but I was going there and fast. I almost had my feet on the floor when his arm sliced around my waist and I was yanked back, across his lap.
 

“Where are you…?” he started but I was struggling, out-of-control kicking and hitting, my fists connecting with his flesh.
 

I had struggled against Luke before but not like this. It was like it was life or death. And in a way it was life or death because what I just learned about Luke was just like dying and all I knew was I had to get away.