Rock Chick 07 Regret (31 page)

A jumble that looked an awful lot in my head like the house I was sitting in at that very moment.

That dream died ages ago; in fact until just then, I’d forgotten I’d even had it.

“Sadie?” Hector called.

I gave my head a little shake and looked at him.

“What?”

“You looked miles away.”

I wasn’t miles away, I was right there.

In fact, my whole life, I never felt as
right there
as I did at that exact moment.

“Are you fixing up your house?” I couldn’t help but ask.

He looked around at the abundance of evidence of this very fact obviously scattered around us, his mouth twitched and his eyes came back to me.

“Yeah,” he answered.

“Oh,” I said softly, not knowing what else to say but for some reason I could feel my heart beating in my throat.

One of his hands slid slowly up my back, the other arm came to rest across my lap.

“You okay?” he asked, his eyes doing a scan of my face.

No. No, I was
not
okay. It hit me that I didn’t even know what “okay” felt like. I’d never actually felt “okay”.

At that precise moment, however, what I felt like was asking Hector if I could paint his living room. And that, I figured, was probably seriously
not
okay.

“Yes,” I answered.

“Sadie,” he said softly.

I focused on him, noticed he was watching me closely and I wondered what he saw.

“What did you think of me when you first met me?” I asked before I could think better of it.

His fingers were warm on my neck and he gave me a gentle squeeze.

He didn’t hesitate with his answer. “I thought you were beautiful and I thought you were cold.”

This didn’t offend me, a lot of people thought that way because I wanted them to think that way, so I nodded.

“Do you want to know what I think of you now?” he asked.

I really didn’t, I wasn’t sure I could take it but for some bizarre reason I nodded again anyway.

“I think you’re even more beautiful and I think you’re totally lost.”

My brows went up. “And you think you can help me find my way?”

He shook his head, his eyes went warm and I got another neck squeeze coupled with a tightening of his arm around my waist.

“
Mamita
, only you can find your way. I just wanna be along for the ride.”

My belly went warm and I decided in that instant, in that house with Hector, after he said those words, that before I left this life behind forever, I’d give myself one more gift.

And on that decision, I leaned forward and kissed him.

It wasn’t a peck on the lips, it was
a kiss
and just like the first time I threw myself at him, he caught me, instantly.

He leaned in, pulling my body across his lap as he took over the kiss. It went from Sadie Hot to Hector
White
Hot and I wrapped my arms around him, feeling myself melt with the fire he shot through me from his body, our locked lips and his talented tongue.

His mouth trailed to my ear and my hands yanked at his shirt until I had it out of his jeans and I could get my fingers under it, inside it and up the smooth skin and hard muscle of his back.

I turned my head and whispered in his ear, “I like the way you kiss.”

His tongue touched my neck, I shivered, felt his lips smile there and then his mouth came back to mine.

Our mouths touching, his eyes looking deep into mine, he muttered, “Good.”

Then his head slanted and he kissed me again, this time hotter, deeper, longer, making me feel
 
things I hadn’t felt in a long time. Good things. Delicious things. Tingles along my skin, wetness between my legs and a belly tied up in glorious knots.

It felt so good, I squirmed in his lap and gently scored a path down his back with my fingernails, showing him (I hoped) that I wanted more.

He groaned into my mouth. That felt good too.

His arm moved from my waist to behind my knees and he stood up, taking me with him, carrying me while kissing me to the stairs, up the stairs, down a hall and into his bedroom.

I guessed that meant he knew I wanted more.

He set me on my feet by the bed, leaned over, turned on the bedside lamp, sat on the bed and tugged off his boots.

I watched him, coming out of my desire-fuelled stupor, my senses coming back to me and my mind asking me what in
the heck
did I think I was doing.

Then he leaned forward and down, grabbed my ankle, lifted my foot between his legs, slid off my shoe and threw it to the side. His head came up, eyes on mine as one hand held my ankle firmly, his other hand trailed up the back of my calf, moving only to his fingertips as they swept behind my knee then kept going partially up the back of my thigh before his touch fell away.

Oh…
my.

He put my foot down and repeated this move with my other leg.

Before I could do a thing (like, say, tear off my clothes and throw myself at him), he stood in front of me so close our bodies brushed, the tingles had started to spread again, this time far more frantic and he pulled off his t-shirt. At our proximity, this maneuver meant his t-shirt caught under my breasts and slid over them. I sucked in breath and reached out quickly to grab his waist and hold on because I was pretty certain sure my legs were about to give out.

He tossed his t-shirt toward my shoes and my hands tensed at his waist when I saw his chest. It was smooth, well-defined and he had a small, broken heart inked in blood red, outlined in barbed-wire black, tattooed on his inside, left pectoral.

Like someone else (an even
newer
New Sadie) had taken over my body, I leaned forward and put my mouth to his incredibly cool tattoo. Then I put my tongue there too.

I liked the taste of his skin. I liked it so much I slid my tongue to his nipple and that was that.

His hands came to my shirt, he whipped it over my head, dislodging my mouth from his chest and he tossed that aside. His arms locked around me, my head went back, his head bent and he kissed me.

This kiss, I could feel right away, was not under his control. It was even hotter, deeper and so urgent, I felt it stirring in me. My body responding wildly, I shoved my hands under his arms and wrapped them around him as tight as I could.

Still kissing me, his hands slid down my bottom, pressing me deeper into him so I could feel his hardness against my belly and at the feel of it, a thrill raced through my entire system.

When his hands moved back up, his fingers found the skirt’s zipper and tugged it down then he shoved my skirt over my hips until it fell to my feet.

His arms went around me then, he fell back to the bed, me on top of him, he rolled me to the side so I was on my back, his mouth on me everywhere, my neck, behind my ears, down my throat, across my chest. It felt good, it felt
tremendous
. I thought there was nothing better in the whole world until his lips closed over the dove-gray satin of my bra right where my nipple was.

I felt his tongue through the satin then he sucked deep.

Waves of pure goodness shot from my nipple to between my legs and my hands slid in his hair.

“Oh my God,” I breathed. “Do that again.”

He did as I asked, it felt even better than before and I
arched
into him, wanting more. His hand slid down my belly, into my panties, between my legs, I felt his fingers on me, sliding through the wetness…

And I froze.

Unbidden, unwanted ice water filled my veins. I clamped my legs shut and my fingers fisted in his hair.

The desire knotting in my belly vanished, it was panic in my belly now, sheer and mad, and my only crazed thought was
escape
.

His hand froze, his body stilled and his head came up but I didn’t look at him.

I let him go, rolled, dislodging him and his hand and put a knee to the bed to launch myself away. I got about a foot before he tagged me and dragged me backward into the heat of his body.

“
Let go!
” I screamed in a voice so shrill, so full of terror, it hurt my own ears.

“Sadie, calm down,” he whispered into the back of my neck as his arms wrapped tight around me, one at my stomach, one at my chest, pulling me into his hard body. “You’re safe. We’ll stop.”

“I have to go,” I demanded.

I felt his gentle, “
Sh
,” at my neck and I saw his hand reach out, nab a blanket at the end of the bed and pull it over my body.

I was trembling head-to-foot regardless of his heat and the blanket. Trembling so violently I could swear I felt the bed shaking with it.

The humiliation was excruciating, crippling and I felt tears clog my throat.

“I have to go,” I repeated, my voice sounding funny.

“Quiet,
mi corazón,
” he said gently.

I stayed quiet but I went on trembling, staring unseeing across his bed to his wall. He went on holding me tightly, his face in my hair, his warm breath on my neck. After long moments, his heat penetrated the cold in my veins and the tremors stopped.

It was then I realized I did it to him again. I came onto him and took him somewhere I didn’t intend to go. I didn’t know I didn’t intend to go there but that was the way it ended all the same.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

He gave me a squeeze. “Why?” he asked.

“I did it to you again,” I told him honestly. It cost me but he deserved honesty and not the cold bitch I treated him to the last time I walked away from him.

He rolled me to face him, arranged the blanket so it was covering me again and slid his hand through the side of my hair, pulling it away from my face. His hand went down my back until his arm was locked around me again.

I looked into his eyes. They were warm and gentle not hard and angry.

Well, thank God for
that
.

Finally, he said, “Don’t worry about it.”

“I didn’t intend –”

“I know you didn’t.”

“I feel like an idiot.”

“Don’t,” he said firmly.

I pulled in my lips, nodded (even though I still felt like an idiot, I mean, this
was
embarrassing) then dropped my gaze to his throat.

“Put your arms around me,
mamita,
” he ordered.

I didn’t want to but I did and, for some reason, this made me feel better.

“Can I ask a favor?”

I nodded again.

“Stay here tonight.”

My body went tight.

“No, Sadie.” His fingers came to my chin and lifted my face to look at him. When my eyes were on his he leaned in and touched his mouth to mine. He pulled away a couple of inches and said, “I just want you beside me. That’s it.”

“Buddy and Ralphie –” I began, using my one and only easy (but good) excuse.

“I’ll call Buddy and Ralphie.”

Darn.

If Hector called Ralphie and Buddy and Ralphie answered he’d probably leap for joy. I figured Buddy’s reaction would be far less dramatic but along the same vein.

I chewed my lip. Oh heck, what could I say?

First off, I’d already slept with him twice. It was on a couch but still. Secondly, I could hardly say no after this latest episode. Lastly, I wanted to stay with him, he made me feel snug, warm and safe.

Boy, my plans never really worked out, did they?

“Okay,” I agreed.

He didn’t grin, look amused or glory in his triumph. He pushed up, kissed the top of my head then slid away.

I sat up, holding the blanket to my front and watched as he walked across to a dresser, pulled open a drawer and yanked something out.