Rock Chick 07 Regret (59 page)

“Yes, I’m Ralph
Mankowicz
,” Ralphie answered, ignoring my effort at damage control.

“I have some paperwork for you to sign, son,” Aaron replied. “It’s in the car, I’ll just –”

“No!” I cut in, “Aaron, can we –” I started again but Ralphie interrupted me.

“Paperwork?”

“Yes, to sign over the gallery,” Aaron, ever informative, answered.

The air in the room was now heavy, tense
and
electric and I knew everyone was watching, listening and not liking what they heard.

Why, I will ask again, was everything in my life so…
fucking
…
difficult?

“Sign over the gallery?” Ralphie repeated.

“Yes, to you and a Mr. Leon Simmons,” Aaron told him and his gaze came to me, heavy, wiry, white eyebrows raised in question. “Isn’t that right?”

I didn’t answer Aaron because Ralphie was looking at me, his eyes were wide, there was confusion written plain on his face, right alongside what looked an awful lot like hurt.

My heart squeezed.

“Ralphie, we’ll talk about this later,” I tried again, my voice quiet.

“Later? You want to talk about it later? You’re moving and signing over the gallery to Buddy and me and you want to talk about it later? What’s this all about?” Ralphie didn’t feel like letting me try, he felt like being dramatic (as usual) and angry (not as usual).

“Let’s go somewhere else –” I tried yet again.

“No, I want to know, right now, what this is all about,” Ralphie replied, arms crossing on his chest.

I swallowed then to get it over with I told him on a rush, “I’m giving you and Buddy the gallery, as a thank you for all you’ve done for me.”

He stared at me, face shocked. Then I watched as his eyes went hard.

I thought he’d be pleased.

He was absolutely not.

“You’re joking,” he breathed.

“No, I want you to know how much I appreciate everything… all that… just everything.”

“You could do that by not moving to fucking
Greece,
” he snapped back.

I blinked.

“What?” I asked.

“I don’t want your fucking gallery. I want you and not via e-mail from your new life on the Med. I want you here. Close. Where we can drink lemon drops and watch Veronica Mars.”

I couldn’t think what to say. I thought certain sure he’d love owning the gallery. He was good at what he did. The best. He’d be his own boss. He’d make loads more money.

He must not get it.

“Ralphie, I’m not sure you understand. I don’t just own the gallery, I own
the
building
. You and Buddy will get it all. This is
LoDo
, prime real estate,” I informed him.

That’s when Ralphie leaned in and shouted, “Fuck the building!”

I winced.

Apparently he got it.

He just didn’t want it.

“Ralphie, please quiet down,” I whispered.

“I will
not
be quiet. I cannot
believe
you’re moving to Greece. That’s… that’s
insane
.”

Now hang on a second!

“It’s not insane,” I shot back.

“It is! Who moves to Greece? Do you know a single soul who’s moved to Greece?” He didn’t give me a chance to reply before he continued, “No? Me neither. No one moves to Greece. Goes there. Yes. Gets laid. Definitely. Drinks ouzo. Lots of it. Gets a sunburn. Of course! But you don’t
move
there!” He was still shouting. “And giving me a
building?
A building!
Are you nuts?”

Seriously, this was getting right on my nerves!

Why wouldn’t anyone let me be nice?

“I owe you so much, I had to do something!” I shouted back.

Ralphie threw his hands high into the air. “You
are
nuts,” he yelled. “This is what friends do! There is no ‘owe’. Someday, my precious Momma’s going to die or I’m going to get a hangnail and you’ll be there for me. That’s how you give back. You don’t give out lavish Christmas bonuses, expensive birthday gifts and buildings, for fuck’s sake!”

Oh my God!

“I thought you liked my birthday presents!” I yelled back.

“I do but only if they’re given from the heart, not to buy my friendship,” he shot back.

It felt like he slapped me right across the face.

I flinched and took a step back. That step forced me into something solid and, breathing heavily, my heart beating in my throat, the hot knot burning in my chest, I turned and looked up to see Hector.

Oh my.

The muscle was jumping in his cheek, his face was stony but his eyes were on Ralphie.

“You done?” he clipped at Ralphie.

“No,” Ralphie snapped.

“You are for now,” Hector replied and without hesitation he leaned in, took my hand then dragged me through our stunned audience, through the rest of the crowd, down my back hall to my office. He threw open the door, flipped on the switch and pulled me in with a controlled violence that sent me flying several steps into my office. He slammed the door behind us.

I stopped in the middle of the room, turned and looked at him.

That knot in my chest expanded, searing painfully wider through my chest and lungs and
just this close
to my heart.

Hector stood in front of the door, eyes beyond scorching. I didn’t know what beyond scorching was but whatever it was, his eyes were doing it.

“Were you gonna tell me?” he asked, voice low and vibrating but his words were enunciated perfectly clearly.

“No,” I answered and his eyes flashed dangerously. “Yes,” I went on quickly and there was another flash. “I couldn’t make up my mind,” I finished lamely.

“Why?” he snapped.

“Why?” I asked.

“Sadie –” His tone held a warning.

I realized I was trembling, deep body shakes and my hands went to my cheeks, rubbing and pressing at the same time, shoving my skin toward my ears.

Then I decided that it was time.

It was time a week ago but I’d given in, I’d been weak, I’d wanted to live the dream.

Now, it was definitely time.

“I know what you’re doing,” I told him.

Without hesitation, he shot back, “Yeah? What am I doin’?”

I dropped my hands and straightened my shoulders. “I know how you felt that night in my father’s study when I walked away from you. You were angry. You weren’t even angry, you were livid. A woman doesn’t do that to a man, not a man like you, not without some kind of…” I stopped then started again, “I know you were angry and now you’re paying me back.”

I stopped talking.

I did this because the voltage of the electric current whipping around intensified so sharply, if I’d looked, I would have sure as certain seen white hot sparks crackling around the room.

“A man like me,” he said slowly.

I swallowed.

He continued.

“A man like me who’d use your body and abuse your heart to exact fuckin’ retribution just because you walked away
leavin
’ my cock hard?”

Well, since what he said sounded kind of stupid, I realized belatedly I might have been wrong about that.

“You think that’s the kind of man I am?” he pushed.

“Hector –”

It was then he lost control of his anger and the room went wired.

“Answer me, god damn it! You think I’m that kind of man?” he barked, I jumped and stepped back.

He advanced.

That knot in my chest spread to my belly and my heart, burning through me so I couldn’t breathe.

“Don’t touch me,” I whispered.

“I wouldn’t touch you, Sadie. Not that way.” He stopped just short of me and looked down at my face. “I’d like to knock some fuckin’ sense into you but that’s not the kind of man I am.”

At his words, my stomach clenched. Painfully.

“Maybe I was wrong,” I said quietly.

His head cocked to the side and his eyes flashed again. “Maybe?”

I reached back with both hands and grabbed my hair at my ponytail, my hands fisting in it.

“I’m confused!” I cried, “I don’t have a lot of experience –”

He interrupted me, “
Mamita
, I’m
warnin
’ you, that excuse is
wearin
’ thin real fuckin’ fast.”

My breath was coming in quick bursts; I dropped my hands and said, “You don’t understand.”

“Explain it to me.”

“You still wouldn’t understand.”

“
Explain it to me!
” he roared.

I shook my head, or more like, jerked it from side-to-side.

I couldn’t take anymore.

Not one more second.

I couldn’t breathe, my stomach hurt, my head was pounding and that thing in my chest was threatening to explode.

I had to go, get out of there, go far, far away.

I rushed around him, got to the door and threw it open but only took one step into the hall before his fingers wrapped tight around my upper arm and he swung me around.

“Take your hand off me!” I shouted.

“We’re not fuckin’ done.”

“We’re done!”

“No we fucking well are not!” he yelled.

Then it all came out in a humiliating, painful burst.

I couldn’t control it, I had to get it out; the burning hot knot would kill me if I didn’t.

“
I’m protecting you!
” I screamed, “Don’t you get it? I’m protecting you!”

He blinked, slowly, his brows coming up in surprise but I kept going and I did it loudly, shouting at the top of my lungs.

“You deserve better than me, Hector Chavez! You’re a good man from a good family surrounded by good people. My father was a Drug King, he kills people, it’s what I am, he
made
me. And Ricky Balducci raped and brutalized me, you know it, you saw it, you were even there!” I screeched, out-of-control, breath coming fast, eyes stinging with tears. “You saw me! You told me you’d never forget. You saw me! You’re better than that and I know it. You deserve more than that. You don’t think you do but you’ve got a tattoo on you that reminds you to think with your head, not your body. I don’t want to be the next tattoo you get when you learn your lesson one day and realize what you’ve done, that you could have had better. That you could have had more. That you could have someone good and clean and right. Someone who belongs at your side. Not someone vile and ugly and tawdry and used that you should have never, ever,
ever
settled for!”

He pulled me closer, muttering, “
Mamita
.” And I saw it in his eyes, they’d gone so warm they burned a hole straight through my heart.

With superhuman effort, I yanked my arm out his grasp, whirled and ran.

“Don’t follow me,” I shouted over my shoulder as I saw him advance into the hall. I stopped and turned again. “
Don’t!
” I shrieked, my voice so shrill, it was like a physical thing, clawing through the air.

Then I whirled again and ran, blind, mind blank, heart beating so hard I thought it’d hammer out of my chest.

I pushed through people, felt hands on me, heard calls, shouts, even grunts but I ran through it all, straight to the counter. I yanked open a drawer and pulled out the keys to my apartment.

People got in my way, I heard their voices speaking to me urgently but nothing penetrated.

I dodged, ducked, yanked my body away. I heard a gravelly voice say, “I got her,” but I was gone, out the door into the cold night air, running.